World Cup

So the Federal Government is planning to create some kind of Anzac Day brand or motif for the 2015 centenary of the Australian landing at Gallipoli. What a frightful thought.

A cartoon wombat called “Digger”, perhaps, or two M&M-like mascots coined “Heads” and “Tails”?

Here’s a goodie: how about a paunchy Aussie bloke with a broad Ostrayan twang and a stubby of VB (actually, make that Coopers now that Foster’s has gone offshore), urging us to celebrate Anzac Day with the catchcry “Just Dig It” or “Anzie, Anzie, Anzie, Oi Oi Oi”?

Continue reading "Branding Anzac Day: Ostraya and the art of cringe" »

There are consolation prizes and there are Asian Cup bids.

I’m not sure which is worse, given the news Australia was the only nation willing to host the 2015 Asian Cup - and given the shock horror announcement this morning we’d actually won the thing.

How does one ‘win’ a competition where there’s only one entry?

Continue reading "Well, at least we won a soccer cup bid…" »

So Qatar has won. And there will be no World Cup in Australian in 2022. Who’d have thought that a stupid cutesy-wootsie video wouldn’t cut through to the FIFA gerontocracy?

Obviously there are all sorts of reasons why Australia was overlooked as World Cup host overnight. – not least the fact that our time zone is not conducive to the hefty European TV rights which help keep FIFA $1 billion or more in the black.

But let’s focus our anger – or whatever it is we’re feeling – on the shocking, woeful presentation video which made Dot and the Kangaroo look like a film for grown-ups.

Continue reading "Hey, we’ve still got the 2012 Lawn Bowls World Titles" »

In the increasingly likely scenario that Australia fails to secure the necessary votes to stage the 2022 FIFA World Cup, soccer in this country will be booted back to sport’s second tier with the thundering force of a John Aloisi penalty.

That’s no doomsday scenario. It’s reality as cold as the snow currently blanketing Zurich, where the bid announcement takes place at 2am eastern standard time tomorrow morning.

In many simple, reassuring ways, it’ll be business as usual for soccer if our bid fails. The half million registered soccer players will still rock up at training. The A-League will probably still exist. And Australians will still go mad for the FIFA World Cup every four years, and to a lesser extent the Asian Cup and other Socceroos matches of consequence. But soccer won’t come close to displacing the oval ball codes in terms of mass popularity for a generation or more. If ever.

Continue reading "Australian soccer’s last stand" »

In a little under two weeks, at 2am on December 3, FIFA will announce the nations that will host the 2018 and 2022 World Cups and hopefully all of Frank Lowy’s work will come to fruition.

But I know not everyone feels the same way. It seems Australia is split on the possibility of the world’s biggest sporting event making its way Down Under.

The majority are behind it and would love to have another international showcase, but there are two other camps – those crossing their fingers that Australia doesn’t win, and those simply shrugging their shoulders and saying, “Meh.”

Continue reading "Do we actually want the World Cup?" »

An event the size of a World Cup will always have surprises but a few weeks ago it must have been impossible odds that at the end of the tournament it would be a cephalopod, not a player, that everyone would be talking about.

Paul the octopus is a bigger global star than Andres Iniesta, the man who scored the winning goal deep in extra time to win Spain their first World Cup.

And Paul should now be allowed to stay in his tank. Since his predictions started making headlines last month the world’s most media-savvy animal rights campaigners PETA have been arguing Paul should be set free. What a bunch of killjoys.

Continue reading "Let Paul the awesome octopus stay in his tank" »

1. The World Cup is cool: Soccer’s problem is overkill. It’s hard enough following our own A-League, let alone the European leagues and their endless cups within leagues and leagues for cup winners. Yawn. Tune out. But when the World Cup is on, you shiver in the darkness watching Paraguay vs Japan. It’s like the Olympics where obscure pursuits like pole vault and equestrian actually matter. Problem is, we’re all now waking automatically at 4.30. What brand were those Ben Cousins sleeping pills again?

2. Psychic cephalopods are even cooler: All World Cups have a standout team, but only occasionally does an individual stamp himself as clearly superior to the rest, a la Maradona at the 1986 Cup. The 2010 FIFA World Cup will forever belong to Paul the Octopus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_the_Octopus), who is head, shoulders and tentacles above any single player or pundit.. Story of the year, hands down. All eight of them.

3. A World Cup here would be even cooler still: Did you hear those vuvuzelas? Did you see those crowds? A World Cup here would be like the Sydney Olympics writ large across six or eight cities. And hey, how great would it be if we all blew didgeridoos instead of vuvuzelas? It’d be as Australian as the buzz of blowflies. Yes, we should worry about the capital cost and future viability of new stadiums. No, that should not stop us hoping we trump Qatar’s excellent bid in December.

Continue reading "10 things we’ve learned about the World Cup" »

Sleepless nights, heartbreak and endless analysis and yelling at the screen have been an intimate part of many of our lives during the World Cup. With all the commentary, the goals, and the bad sporting puns ad nauseam there’s one thing that no one has really talked about during this world cup - violence against women.

It’s a horrible thought, that an event we love could have such a dark underside. Sadly it’s something we do need to talk about. During the 2006 Fifa World Cup the home office of the UK found a 30% jump in domestic violence incidents on nights that England were playing.

The interesting thing is it didn’t seem to matter if England won or lost as the 30% increase remained relatively steady during England’s win over Paraguay and its loss to Portugal.

Continue reading "Home violence and the dark side of the World Cup" »

Kevin Rudd’s earwax-eating heroics are nothing against Germany coach Joachim Loew who has been captured picking his nose and eating the bounty on camera - and it’s not the first time it has happened.

In the clip above Loew, who is not only the most devastatingly effective coach in the tournament but also the prettiest, makes a deft little move to grab the, er, ball before dummying once, twice, then finally sliding it home. Into his mouth.

This was during the game in which Germany knocked out England in the World Cup. But Loew has form on this. See the next video for some armpit sniffing and more digging for victory…

Continue reading "Germany can play, and their coach can boogie" »

It was such a thrill to be at Sydney Airport early on Saturday morning and be amongst the crowd waiting for friends, families and others to arrive.  In the type of environment I live in, you tend to forget what the atmosphere is like just doing something simple like this – full of anticipation and excitement.

For me, it was no different.

I was there, of course, waiting for my team mates and manager from Everton to help give them an Aussie welcome after their 24 hour journey.  It was great to be joined by some loyal (and hardy, considering the cold Sydney weather at the moment) ‘Evertonians’ who were dressed up in all their gear to cheer the lads and me also.

Continue reading "The A-League shows how far Australian soccer has come" »

With World Cup fever gripping the globe, a top-ranking FIFA official says he is stunned that Australia’s AFL season continues to thrive.

“It’s as though the masses in Australia’s southern states are oblivious to the fact that the world’s biggest sporting event is now in its cut-throat final phase,” the official told this website.

“Football is the world’s most popular sport, yet still 80,000 fans fill your Melbourne Croquet Ground to watch the strange game of ALF.

Continue reading "Exclusive! FIFA bemused by our AFL obsession" »

As Ben Cousins said this week, it’s a strange position to be in when you feel sympathy for Steven Baker.

When the AFL handed down its War and Peace sized list of charges against Baker this week, you could only feel the little tagger had been made a scapegoat.

There’s no doubt the AFL was correct within the letter of the law when it charged Baker with various counts of striking and “interfering with an injured player”, only it’s a letter that the league had previously ignored. Like the umlaut in Joachim Low’s name.

Continue reading "The AFL, where image trumps consistency" »

When I came into work today, my deliciously juvenile impulse, was to tease the Englishmen in my workplace mercilessly about their team’s 4-1 FIFA World Cup thrashing at the hands of Germany.

Fortunately, my better side has triumphed. Here ya go, lads. A nice cup of Twinings all round. Oh, and this list should cheer you up too. It’s a list of…

10 things to console an Englishman in the wake of their World Cup failure.

1. Football schmootball. You guys have some terrific runners. Like Jana Rawlinson.

Continue reading "10 ways to console an Englishman after losing" »

“Beauty is not the goal of competitive sports”, wrote author David Foster Wallace, “but high-level sports are a prime venue for the expression of human beauty.

The relation is roughly that of courage to war.” Although Wallace was writing mostly about tennis, the principle of beauty in sport applies equally to football.

And when tennis stars like Serena Williams are called on to comment on matches at the World Cup, from Wimbledon, we sense the relationship between beauty and courage may have gone awry.

Continue reading "Without beauty in sport, we might go looking elsewhere" »

Hello there. The Punch has come to Nelspruit, South Africa, to cover every angle of the leadership spill. And with Julia Gillard on the brink of an historic victory, it’s time somebody asked the question. What’s more annoying, this…

Or this:

Discuss.

Soccer is evil. There is no other way to describe this fickle and cruel diversion.

How’s this - having been pantsed by the Germans in our opening game Australians were yesterday forced to barrack for them in the complex hope that, somehow, the goal difference would fall our way and we’d progress to the second stage.

You know you’re up the creek when you’re a mathematical chance of making the finals. Think Wests Tigers and Souths in most seasons in the NRL, think Richmond pretty much every year in the dying weeks of the AFL season. The Socceroos were a mathematical chance going into last night’s game against Serbia in Nelspruit. To their credit they nearly pulled it off.

Continue reading "The Socceroos were brilliant but soccer is pure evil" »

Muti - a zulu word meaning “tree” - is the term to describe the traditional South African practice of using plants, herbs and animal parts to brew concoctions which bring good luck. With Bafana Bafana needing a miracle to qualify by thumping France, the local newspapers have reported that there’s been a surge in the practice of Muti this week, with one of the most popular blends using aloe and vulture’s brains.

“I believe muti can improve Bafana Bafana’s performance,” traditional medicine man Abel Zwane told The Sowetan. Apparently you just have to be careful getting the brain out of the vulture.

Sadly it didn’t work for poor old South Africa, who despite a heroic 2-1 victory over the dysfunctional French early this morning, have missed out on the second stage with Uruguay and Mexico going through after the Youaregayans beat the Meskins 2-1 yesterday. You can get all the latest here, and there’s more World Cup Diary below.

Continue reading "World Cup Diary: Muti fails to save Bafana Bafana" »

Not since the Trotskyist student uprisings at the Sorbonne in May-June 1968 have the French bunged on such an entertaining stink - only this time it involves the national soccer team. You can watch a news reports below, but the short version is that the players are in mutiny over their hapless coach Raymkond Domenech and have effectively gone on strike by refusing to train.

The trigger for the showdown was the explusion fron the national team of striker Nicolas Anelka after his four-lettered spray against Domenech who, among other things, he called a “dirty son a whore.” If there was any justice in the world the entire French team would have been sent home and replaced with Ireland, who lost teir qualifier against the French courtesy of a shameless handball by Thierry Henry. The upshot of all the French team’s revolution is that South Africans are now fantasising that after last week’s 3-0 drubbing by Uruguay Bafana Bafana will now come out and flog the fraying French in tonight’s final first stage match.

Continue reading "World Cup Diary: French revolting, North Korea failing" »

The case for a video ref in soccer is so mind-numblingly, blatantly self-apparent, only a monolithic, dictatorial body like FIFA could stand in its way. So naturally enough, it is.

Maybe the vuvuzelas have left FIFA deaf to the calls for justice by video. Or maybe, the real villains here are hardcore soccer fans, who squeal “how dare you tinker with our perfect game!” at the merest hint of change.

These old school extremists are FIFA’s unwitting foot soldiers, twittering away on their iPhones about the shocking potential impact of technology on the game they love.

Continue reading "A video ref would bring the World Cup out of the dark" »

It was the greatest Australasian moment since Crowded House won a Grammy or Russell Crowe earned an Oscar for Gladiator. But far be it for us to bask in the reflected glory from across the ditch.

The New Zealand All Whites are not only doing better than the Socceroos in the World Cup, they are magnificent in their own right.

In one of the greatest moments in the history of New Zealand sport - almost up there with the All Blacks winning the Rugby World Cup in 1987 - the nuggetty Kiwi no-names yesterday held the mighty Italians, the current World Champions, to a 1-1 draw. You can read all about it here. We salute our Kiwi brothers today.

Continue reading "World Cup Diary: We are all New Zealanders now" »

We were robbed. We were brilliant and brave. It’s a miracle that we managed a draw. We also threw victory away.

Such is the evil psychology of last night’s gut-wrenching clash with Ghana. It’s the worst possible combination for the commited fan.

It has as its foundation a smouldering sense of fury at the performance of the referee, cruelling not just our chances of victory, but so casually ending the World Cup career of Harry Kewell.

Continue reading "Socceroos: We were robbed, we were brilliant, we are gone" »

It’s only a few hours until kick-off against Ghana so as our special pre-match tribute to the boys please enjoy this excellent rendition of our national song by the Pimster:

They might have scored an excellent goal and drawn their opening game but the poor old Kiwis can’t take a trick with the bookies and, insultingly, are still well below Australia in the international betting for the World Cup. Despite their 4-0 drubbing in the opening match against Germany the Socceroos are paying $580 for a $1 bet to win the World Cup.

The All Whites registered a noble 1-1 draw against Slovakia but are bafflingly paying $3001 to win the tournament. The only other team which betting aggregators worldcupbet.com have placed below the Kiwis are Algeria at a hefty $3501. For the record the Argies are favourites at $5.66, the Spanish (despite losing to Swtizerland) are paying $6.50, Brazil $6.51 and the Germans a pretty inviting $9.

Continue reading "World Cup Diary: Our lend isht girt by shea" »

While the personal security of fans at the World Cup has generally been good, with only minor crimes committed against visitors, there’s been industrial chaos surrounding the payment of security staff and sales staff at some of the stadiums here in South Africa.

Tear gas was used on the staff at Moses Mabhida Stadium in Durban on Sunday when theyh refused to disperse after being promised a pretty modest 300 rand (about $50) for working that night, only to be given an even less generous 200 rand (about $35).

As the tensions have flared at other grounds all security staff have been stood down and replaced with police at Moses Mabhida, at Green Point in Cape Town, and also at Soccer City in Joburg. There is so much anger among the security workers that the newspapers are saying the biggest security threat to future games may atually come from disgruntled security workers themselves.

Continue reading "World Cup Diary: can somebody call security" »

It’s easy to dismiss sport as a distracting, dysfunctional pastime of the people.  We’re constantly flooded with stories of misbehavior, ridiculous prejudice, cheating and even criminal behavior, most of which seem sexual in nature.

As the CEO of a sports-based NGO, I am constantly faced with questions steeped in disapproval and dismissal of the value of sport in “real” society.  I hear that we spend too much time, too much money, too much effort on sports in this country, in detriment to our social values.  Indeed I have even been told we would be better off with less sport in Australia.  Jessica Watson felt the brunt of this type of thinking not long ago.  Dangerous, narcissistic indulgence, anyone?

Continue reading "The World Cup of hope" »

“Blow, blow, blow…your vuvuzela is safe!” reads yesterday’s frontpage of The Sun in Johannesburg. And while it’s not a headline which every aurally-challenged soccer fan wanted to read, it’s been met with cheers here in South Africa, not that you can actually hear them anyway above the BRAAAAAAAAMPPPH of the infernal plastic horns.

A European-led push to have the vuvuzelas banned has been stared down, for now. Several of the European teams have complained about the distraction from the noise, with the Dutch coach unable to talk to his players at an open traning day where 3000 South African kids turned up with their vuvuzelas, and French captain Patrice Evra saying the racket had put his team off in its 0-0 draw against Uruguay. But the chairman of the local FIFA organising committee Danny Jordaan has now issued a statement saying the vuvuzela is safe for the remainder of the 2010 tournament.

“The vuvuzela will not be banned in South Africa,” he said. “The only negative aspect we condemn is when fans blow it during the singing of national anthems and public announcements during the games.” We’ve been here 10 days now and didn’t realise that there had been any anthems of public announcements, or indeed anything other than the continuous drone.

Continue reading "World Cup Diary: Viva the goddamned vuvuzelas" »

Diego Watch Day Five: God might have been responsible for his hand, but it’s not clear who we should blame for his bum. But either way, Argentinian coach Diego Maradona’s derriere has taken on a personality all of its own here in South Africa and is threatening to overshadow the tournament proper.

Guardian columnist Martin Kelner has called for a 24-hour camera to trace Diego’s every move at the World Cup, with a special focus on the bum-wiggling exploits he showcased in Argentina’s 1-0 victory over Nigeria on Saturday.

“If we remember the 1990 World Cup for Gazza’s tears, or Roger Milla’s dance, there is a fair chance the enduring image of this competition will be Diego Maradona’s backside,” Kelner wrote. “Boy, that is some tuchus. And when you are the proud possessor of a heiny the size of a small South American republic, what shows it off better than a lightweight grey suit?”

Continue reading "World Cup Diary: Diego’s date with destiny" »

Just when you thought the World Cup couldn’t get any more annoying, what about this - on day five of the tournament as things currently stand it’s New Zealand 1 and Australia nil.

And no amount of juvenile joking about their accents, their fondness for mooching around Bondi while on the dole or their affection for farm animals can alter that fact.

They were standing on top of their chilly-bins and clapping their jandals in the air late yesterday as the All Whites scored the first New Zealand goal ever in a World Cup.

Continue reading "And it’s New Zealand 1, Australia 0 in South Africa" »

Well it was a game of two halves and both of them were crap. The less said about it all the better - next stop, Ghana. They’ll be quaking in their boots. I’d love to share the tales of fan-related hijinks after the Germany game but there aren’t any. It was if the fun-loving German spirit possessed us all here and we trudged off home. Perhaps we can blame Kevin Rudd for this?

The Prime Minister, a well-known sports buff Kevin Rudd wasted no time in jumping on the Socceroos bandwagon with the following tweet on Sunday: “Got alarm set for 4am like the rest of the country. Tough opponents. Go #Socceroos. KRudd.”

The tweet received a mixed reaction, if you define mixed as generally rude. One excellent instant reply: “So you’re having a sleep in then?” Many others just used the tweet as a chance to bag the PM.

Continue reading "World Cup Diary: Rudd spurs Socceroos to glory" »

IT was all downhill once the walk was over. It had felt like a walk into history, a walk into the unknown, a walk into the pages of time, whatever cliche-riddled walk you fancy.

What it was in fact was a long walk to humiliation at the hands of a German pantser division that gave us our greatest World Cup pantsing of all time. It had started so well but at the end of the day there were only three things that made us feel good. Sunshine, a terrific esplanade, and architecture.

The 10km walk from the Durban Marina to the Moses Mabhida Stadium took 90 minutes, the same length of time it took the Germans to subject us to a ritualised international sporting humiliation which was one goal worse than the former West Germany’s 3-0 pounding of the 1974 Socceroos side.

Continue reading "Eins, zwei, drei, vier and loathing for the Shockeroos" »

Almost 10,000 Australians converged on Durban for last night’s match against the Germans, many of them coming from elsewhere in South Africa or flying down from Europe, but the vast majority have been staying here for a week or few days and doing their bit for the local economy.

It’s a terrific city, a huge port filled with character, still a bit gritty around the edges. A bit too gritty for the German tourists, who appear to have succumbed to the media hysteria on the continent and have largely kept away. Local shopkeepers have been heartened by the Aussie presence but stunned by the German no-show.

Maybe the German fans should have heard this dark tale doing the rounds in Durban. One local white driver claims that, a couple of months ago, known gang members were approached by the cops and told that if they are responsible for hurting even one tourist in this city, they will be killed, their parents will be killed, and their cousins will be killed. In the absence of any outbreak of tourist-related crime this tough love policing strategy appears to have worked.

Continue reading "World Cup Diary: Bunnys, bands, bids and Bafana" »

Australia has taken another huge step towards hosting the World Cup after it withdrew its 2018 bid to let Europe host the tournament – galvanising European support behind our 2022 bid.

In a tactical masterstroke which saw FIFA take the rare step of publicly praising Australia for its “exemplary” conduct, Football Federation Australia chairman Frank Lowy said yesterday Australia would now concentrate solely on the 2022 World Cup to clear the path for Europe in 2018.

The move is a coup for two reasons – it has sidelined the United States, which is still bidding for 2018 and 2022, and won plaudits from Europe, which holds eight votes on the 24-member FIFA executive committee which selects the host nations.

Continue reading "South Africa 2010, Australia 2022?" »

UPDATE 6.20pm: A tragic car accident has claimed the life of Nelson Mandela’s great-granddaughter in Johannesburg overnight. The 91-year-old anti-apartheid campaigner and former president will no longer attend today’s opening ceremony of the 2010 World Cup.

Zenani Mandela, who turned 13 just three days ago,  was killed last night while returning home from the Shakira and Black Eyed Peas concert in Johannesburg. 

Two days ago every newspaper here in South Africa splashed yesterday with the excellent news that Mandela, would attend tonight’s Opening Ceremony at Soccer City, Johannesburg.

Continue reading "World Cup Diary: Mandela tragedy overshadows opening" »

With the World Cup almost upon us, a lot of soccer nuts are writing stories arguing that soccer has totally cut through, that Australia is at last a round ball nation, and that the Socceroos are “icons”.

No. Uluru is an icon. The Sydney Opera House is an icon. The baggy green cap is an icon. Collingwood is an icon. The famous “Gladiators” picture which spawned the NRL trophy is an iconic image.

The Socceroos won’t come close to iconic status until they’re something more than a rank outsider at the world’s biggest sporting event, and until they bring something recognisably Australian to their style of play.

Continue reading "Sorry, but I’m not sold on the Socceroos yet" »

Take a bow, Matildas.  You’re champions of Asia, and the first team to qualify for the women’s World Cup Finals.

These capable, commanding young Australians gave us a masterclass in adaptability and focus in their Asian Cup Final triumph over North Korea last week.  In hostile and deteriorating conditions, against opponents whose government backs them to play full-time, the Matilda’s application of every ounce of their capability, and their flat-out refusal to get beaten, made football history.

The urging of goalkeeper-captain Melissa Barbieri, the raking passes of midfielder Collette McCallum, the intelligent touches of Katie Gill up front, and the lung-busting runs of Clare Polkinghorne over 120 minutes added up to an immense performance that delivered our first Asian silverware, and the respect of a nation.

Continue reading "Matildas: this is how it’s done" »

The way people go on about soccer at World Cup time is reminiscent of the way people like to talk about politics around elections. People who usually don’t show much of an interest in the sport become pub analysts once every three of four years, willing to throw their two cents in at the pub on the eventual winner and what they need to do to get there.

The difference between the World Cup and elections is people actually seem to enjoy having conversations about it a lot more than they do about politics, plus even if we do hate Fabio Grosso for what he did to Australia (why did it have to be a guy called Fabio?), at least we don’t have to elect him as Prime Minister.

So I give you The Punch’s pub rant guide to South Africa 2010, with World Cup tips those “experts” may have missed.

Team that deserves to lose the most: Italy

Continue reading "The Punch’s pub rant on the World Cup draw" »

We shouldn’t get ahead of ourselves. There is a long way to go but, just for a moment, lie down, close your eyes, and think of England.

In the same way that Aussies will be fantasising about the prospect of playing England in the second stage at the World Cup, the Poms will be having quiet nightmares about being knocked off by their nemesis in the one sport where we have never bettered the beloved Mother Country, aside from a meaningless 3-1 win in a friendly match in 2003.

England has every right to be unnerved by the prospect, for a number of reasons. The first is that it is in no way a remote fantasy.The way our two groups fall, there is a very real chance that it could happen.

Continue reading "Socceroos can add to England’s history of misery" »

“Please tell everyone South Africa’s not as dangerous as they think.” That’s how most of my conversations have started over the past 10 days as I travelled around the country that will host next month’s World Cup.

It’s just 16 years since Nelson Mandela’s election as president signalled the end of the apartheid era, and like a teenager going to her deb ball, South Africa is nervous about being the centre of attention.

Worried that the roads won’t be ready. Worried that the national team, known to all as Bfana Bfana, won’t perform well. But most of all, worried that the country’s reputation for violence will be the ever-lasting memory of this World Cup.

Continue reading "Nervous wait for World Cup in rainbow republic" »

With the FIFA World Cup looming, we’re starting to be bombarded with the usual tired old messages about the world coming together in harmony, yada yada yada. But in reality, only half of humanity is coming together.

Who’s missing? Women, of course. Unlike the Olympics, which also bills itself as a quadrennial love-in for all colours, creeds and nationalities, the FIFA World Cup reserves no place for female competitors. Striking-looking women on the sideline, fine. Strikers on the pitch, not required.

The next FIFA Womens’s World Cup is set down for Germany in 2011. I don’t know if FIFA has a sub-committee governing the women’s game, but if it does, it should be called FIFI, and FIFI should be agitating like a bitch to have future Cups staged concurrently with the men’s event.

Continue reading "The World Cup, or a cup for just half the world" »

“Shine like a big, big star!” This quote may sound like an odd introduction to an article about Australia’s bid for the FIFA World Cup in 2018 or 2022, but it is also the basis for one of the inspirational highlights of the bid team’s work in Cape Town two weeks ago.

All bidding nations were invited to Cape Town by FIFA to participate in a media expo to present our claims.  The media expo was the first of only three formal presentations for bidders to the FIFA Executive, the international football community and international football media.  While it was the ‘set piece’ event for bidding nations during the week, Football Federation Australia (FFA) also planned other activities to ensure we were noticed in a very busy period for world football.

The inspiration came from a visit to a township school outside Cape Town by Federal Minister for Sport Kate Ellis, FFA Chairman Frank Lowy, CEO Ben Buckley, Head Coach Pim Verbeek, and the eight Aussie kids who had won a competition to be Bid emissaries for the week.

Continue reading "World Cup bid: Shine like a big, big star" »

The debate on the World Cup bid has been conducted thus far like some grandmother who’s freaking out after being told 32 soccer teams are arriving on Friday and we’ve nowhere to play, don’t know where to put them up and haven’t done enough grocery shopping. I’m half expecting the next front page on the issue to read: “Australia’s Bathroom Not Clean Enough to Host World Cup, What Will The Guests Think.”

Would it be too much to ask that people step back, take a breath and relax about this thing?

The politics of this seems to be overshadowing the facts for all three codes concerned. The facts being that we’re almost certainly not going to get the 2018 tournament and that if the codes sit down calmly they’d realise there’s plenty time to work out a solution for 2022.

Continue reading "Can everyone just relax about the World Cup bid" »

Watching the World Cup draw early on Saturday morning felt like watching the cast of The Bold and the Beautiful do Hamlet. With Becks & Charlize, there was glamour aplenty- but it had the all drama and class of the Eurovision Song Contest.

Australia’s group for the World Cup drew what I call “the builder”: the sharp intake of breath through gritted teeth accompanied by the worried shake of the head.

On paper, it looks a tough ask for the Socceroos in South Africa – but is it really the group of death?

Continue reading "World Cup draw: actually not a death sentence" »

Remember the good old days of Australian soccer, when a 0-0 draw to the Dutch would spark jubilation in the crowd, shirt swapping on the pitch and a victory speech from the coach?

I can almost picture old Eddie Thompson saying how delighted he was with the result, and what a privilege it was for his boys to mix it with some of Europe’s finest. Eddie, a wonderful servant of the game and one sadly missed, would be delighted with 1-0 losses, such was our standing in the game and the lack of really meaningful matches.

How times have changed. Saturday night’s draw was dire. We should have been beaten comfortably. It exposed a host of deficiencies.  And thanks to the game’s new-found maturity in this country, people are not afraid to admit it.

Continue reading "What the Socceroos have to do before the World Cup" »

Who’s your favourite Dutch comedian? What’s the funniest Dutch film you’ve ever seen? And no, The Vanishing wasn’t a comedy. It was about a man who buried his wife alive.

The many races of the world have their own distinct characteristics, and while Guss Hiddink did a pretty good line in forming his hand into a punchy little fist and spinning it around when the Socceroo’s scored, he wasn’t known for his comic timing and sparkling repartee. Compared to Pim Verbeek, Guus is Chevy Chase.

And while the Pimster has copped a bath from some for failing to deliver a free-wheeling footballing spectacular this week - and been blamed for the poor attendance of 40,000 - I think there’s an argument that 2-0 was almost decadent and showy on our part.

Continue reading "It was the best nil-all draw that I’ve ever seen" »