University

Right now, there are thousands of brand new PhD candidates entering universities around the country. Many of them will be highly anxious, knowing that they have a long, difficult journey ahead of them which, statistically speaking, they have less than a 75 per cent chance of completing successfully.

Emma Jane last year described doing a PhD as “childbirth for the brain”. And, while I liked her sentiment, I don’t agree that the whole process really has to be so “mind-meltingly, stomach-churningly, sleep-deprivingly difficult”.

Just as there are many things expecting or labouring mothers can do to make childbirth easier and more bearable – epidurals, controlled breathing exercises, gym balls, warm baths, happy gas, umm… taint massage – there are some simple rules Doctoral students should follow in order to deliver their baby without recourse to forceps or an episiotomy.

Continue reading "Eight simple rules for losing your doctoral virginity" »

Dear readers, please do not run away or close the window because I’m an Arts student: I have something important to say.

Over the past five years I have enjoyed a successful “career” (for wont of a better word) studying at four different universities and I now find myself in the early stages of a Doctorate.

There are many observations I could make about universities (my wife removes sharp objects from the room when anyone mentions VSU) but the issue most worrying me at the moment relates to the Group of Eight’s attitude towards funding and student contributions.

Continue reading "Higher student fees just aren’t feasible" »

People often say that writing a PhD is like giving birth to a baby. Having given both these projects a whirl in recent years, I’ve decided that some parts of the analogy are more apt than others. 

Like making a new human, enrolling in a Doctor of Philosophy program often seems like a good idea at the time. It is frequently accompanied by thoughts such as “how hard can it be?”

The answer in both cases, of course, is “mind-meltingly, stomach-churningly, sleep-deprivingly difficult”. In fact, I wonder if any sane person would ever knowingly embark on PhD study or biological reproduction if they were fully cognizant of the hard labour that was actually involved. 

Continue reading "Doing a PHD is like childbirth for the brain" »

It is a fixture of university lore that during all his 11 years as Prime Minister, John Howard never once set foot on the campus of ANU, just a few kilometers down the road from The Lodge in Canberra.

Certainly he never visited what is now Australia’s leading university anytime after 2001 when Ian Chubb became vice-chancellor, a job the 67-year-old relinquished on Friday.

Chubb, a rough-hewn figure credited with the most astute brain in higher education management, turned ANU into a major research hub where PhDs were earned in greater numbers than elsewhere and youngsters came from all around Australia, and the globe, to study.

Continue reading "The house that Howard hated" »

At a California university right now, you’ll find find one poor soul standing at a kitchen bench, peeling a ton of onions.

Well it may not be onions; it could just as easily be root vegetables, a cheap cut of meat and probably a whole lot of curry paste.

But whatever it is, it must be enough to feed 400 hungry mouths as part of a new university co-op- initiative that gets students cooking, cleaning and generally sharing the load, in exchange for cheaper weekly rent. 

And the whole idea fills me with dread. 

Continue reading "Absent forks and other office kitchen nightmares" »

“Gap” is an unlikely sort of word to describe the year you spend as seventeen or eighteen-year-old school-leaver “figuring yourself out”.

Then again, it’s an appropriate euphemism for the black spots you may experience after a series of large nights spent hamming it up in exotic locations with a bunch of strangers, very little money and no real idea of what you’re doing.

Or a good description of the waning savings and slightly stunted career-path progression you may notice when comparing yourself to friends who’ve opted to stay at home, when you return.

Continue reading "Get lost and go find yourself" »

The past few weeks have given us a mediocre campaign at best and left the electorate cynical. Can there be any other outcome when all both sides can come up with is an exchange of slogans, attention grabbing stunts and petty bickering.

Making sure they say what they believe to be safe and popular while avoiding the risks associated with delving deep into the important issues. Yes, student elections at ANU are all about shallow populism.

Wait… did you think I was talking about another election?

Continue reading "Political careers start at university" »

The memory should be vivid for many Arts graduates. Sitting in the graduation ceremony, the words of an otherwise inspiring commencement address waft overhead as the mind focuses uncontrollably on an uncertain future. Seated in uncomfortable lecture theatre seats (you won’t miss those, you think) you wait for a certificate cementing your “qualifications”, in the broadest sense of the word.

The guest speaker waxes lyrical about personal journeys, eventually tying their tale into the “unique” position bestowed upon graduates of this (insert institution name) university, and of a duty we inherit to uphold and develop explorations into society and culture. The speaker resolves that in doing so we become model citizens, helping our fellow man realise the importance of life beyond economic measures of success and happiness.

As an early-20s undergraduate with student debt, little corporate experience (pretty sure I walked into an office reception once) working a part-time bar job and only ‘soft skills’ to my name, I was certainly looking forward to economic measures of happiness.

Continue reading "A bunch of Arts graduates walk into an office…" »

This is a message to the 80, 000 or so high school graduates who will later today log onto the UAC site and find out whether or not they received a place at an Australian university for 2010.

Whatever happens don’t panic. Especially if you have spent the entire Christmas break avoiding the questions of (well meaning) relatives asking what you want to do with the rest of your life.

It is absolutely 100 per cent OK if you (a) you don’t want to go to university or (b)fall into the 30, 000 or so people who will miss out on a place this year.

Continue reading "University, it’s not for everyone" »

Each year during Orientation week at Sydney University, boys from St Paul’s invite women from the all-female colleges to their bar, the Salisbury, for the “Tight and White” party.

The night pretty much does what it says on the tin. The tighter and whiter the clothes the better. Especially when the girls are soaked in water on arrival, their clothes now transparent and sticking to their bodies.

And even more so when they lie down on the bar while men drink shots of spirits off their bodies, off their bare stomachs, breasts and thighs.

Continue reading "Inside our sexist college culture, and how to fix it" »

On the table, a hundred cups and saucers (arranged neatly, ten by ten). The university has pegged its hopes on this meeting, emailed the entire student body three times, plastered the campus with large, full-colour posters asking – begging – students to attend.

The meeting is an attempt on the part of administration to give students direct input into proposed campus redevelopments. The idea: have a cup of tea with members of the university’s Strategy and Space Planning department, air your grievances, and put forward your vision for a better campus. As they tell us repeatedly, desperately, “We’re listening.”

I count three students. (Hannah and I don’t count – we’re student journos. We have to be here). Anne, who’s in her fifties, is a mature-entry student who volunteers at the library. Gunter is an ageing hippy who’s been drifting in and out of campus for the past thirty years. The final ‘student’, Angus, doesn’t even attend the university.

Continue reading "To a degree, it’s the end of university conversation" »

The Coalition will not support the Rudd Government’s planned changes to youth allowance while they retrospectively punish students who took a gap year based on advice last year from Government agencies.  It’s that simple.

Young people, who on the advice of guidance counsellors, Centrelink and teachers have opted to take a twelve month gap year, working to earn enough money to qualify for independent youth allowance under the current rules with plans to study next year, will have the rug pulled from under them because of the Government’s changes.

The Government’s own figures show there are about 26,000 of them.

Continue reading "Killing off the Gap year will open up an education gap" »

In a world of escalating costs of living, ever-rising unemployment and fluctuating economies, one group stands to be hit harder than any other.

Unlike other groups, this one will not be publicised by media, found protesting or walking off the job, or be seen throwing in the towel any time soon. Instead, far from it, university students around Australia and indeed the world will continue to front classrooms every day, opening their minds to the knowledge and pathways available to secure a sustainable future free from debt and money woes.

But, just how hard is it to attend university and what financial impact can students expect to be facing both through their studies and at the completion of the educational yellow brick road as they begin their dream career?

Continue reading "It’s a myth that everyone has access to tertiary study" »

There are currently some 700,000 university students in Australia, which I would estimate represents 145,478 cases of Chlamydia, 49,678 one-night stands and 4,567,099 packets of instant noodles consumed in the last calender year.

We have institutions aplenty (39 at last count) which are excellent at pumping out graduates who have gained little beyond a vague understanding of post-structuralism and an impressive repertoire of drinking games involving Sambucca.

But Julia Gillard thinks we need even more university students: 300,000 more to be precise. All part of the Education Minister‘s plans to give the higher education system a bit of a face lift.

Continue reading "Tune in, drop out, get drunk, become a hairdresser" »