Transformers

The recently released trailer for The Expendables 2 is undeniably simple.

It contains one-liners such as “I now pronounce you man and knife”, close to 10,000 individual explosions, gunfire, montages of people loading weapons, people back-flipping, unnecessary martial arts and motorbikes smashing into helicopters. Its principle stars are men who spent most of their careers hurling stuntmen off jet skis and other, fast-moving objects, and screaming profanities at underpaid extras.

Yes, there’s every chance this fiery, tumbling mass of adrenalin syringes will disappoint those seeking a multi-layered exploration of violence’s role in shaping the human condition. But its ageing heroes were arguably much more focused on the noble pursuit of crafting a multi-explosioned exploration of punching dudes in the face with comically-oversized fists.

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Transformers: The Movie. Year: 1986. Spoiler alert: Optimus Prime dies

Any young boy who saw the original animated movie version of the Transformers will tell you that it was one of the most harrowing, exhilarating and ultimately traumatic experience of his life. In terms of emotional impact it rates somewhere between losing your virginity and finding out you’re adopted.

Of course I saw the film when I was 11, some 20 years before I lost my virginity, but it resonates with me even today. I went and saw it at the Belgrave cinema east of Melbourne with my best friend at the time Mark Evans. We were best friends for almost all of Grade Six because we both liked cars and that was enough back then.

When I got to the cinema I was shocked to discover my cousin Dan was there. Dan was 18 months younger than me and therefore to be avoided at all costs. When you are at that age your coolness redoubles every month and younger relatives are a millstone of shame. The true wonder was that I had convinced Mark Evans I was cool in the first place, and that running in circles in an above ground pool while pretending to be a superhero called Fireboy was what all the kids were doing these days.

Continue reading "Joe’s $1 a week cinema #3: Transformers" »