Super Bowl

Yesterday my local was full of tattooed guys with beards and moustaches wearing football jerseys, drinking beer and yelling at the football on TV. Sadly, I didn’t time travel to 1975 - it was just a huge group of hipsters watching Super Bowl XLVII.

American football, baseball and basketball have never been more fashionable, at least judging by the popularity of snapback hats, which universally make you look like a dickhead - I know, I tried once.

The thing is, the majority of those rushing to embrace NFL, MLB and NBA have NFI what they’re watching. The assembled tattoo canvases at my local didn’t even seem to notice when the New Orleans Superdome blacked out for half an hour during the third quarter of yesterday’s game. They probably figured it was just another one of gridiron’s frequent, tedious breaks.

Continue reading "Only dopes and hipsters watch American sports" »

Whenever I hear people complaining loudly about ‘Political Correctness gone mad’, I usually respond in the same way as when Sarah Silverman hears someone describe themselves as a “Diva”. (Note: NSFW)

‘Political Correctness’ is actually just an over-used (typically, and strangely, pejorative) buzzword for ‘being respectful to people’. And, call me crazy, but I don’t think anyone has the right to be disrespectful, rude, sexist, racist or homophobic without consequence.

So, when people complain about “political correctness gone crazy!” I think to myself, “no, you’re probably just a c—t.”

Continue reading "Political correctness? Nah. It’s all about respect" »

Went to a Super Bowl once. Hung out afterwards with 160 kilo nude, crying black dudes in the losers’ dressing room. Oh, but you don’t want to hear about that. The Super Bowl is all about the ads, which this year are said to cost $3.5 million for 30 seconds. Some recession they’re having in America.

When the 100 million Americans watching the Super Bowl go to the toilet in the ad breaks, they say city sewerage systems overflow. That’s actually a myth. No one takes a pee during the ad breaks. The ads are too good. The Super Bowl is the opposite of normal telly. That pesky football keeps interrupting some damn fine viewing.

Super Bowl ads are so highly-anticipated that you get teased beforehand. This year we’ve had the (thankfully false) threat of a Ferris Bueller remake and a sneak peak of David Beckham’s undies ad, which to be frank is more torture than tease. Fortunately, there have been some brilliant ads down the years. Let’s go the video(s).

Continue reading "Pass the Doritos… the greatest 13 Super Bowl ads" »

As entertaining as the game was, the best action in yesterday’s Super Bowl was off the field.

In the second quarter, Motorola ran a one minute ad which parodied Ridley Scott’s bold, apocalyptic 1984 Apple ad.

In Scott’s ad, Apple seemed to be implying that the world of personal computing, circa the actual year 1984, was dominated by a Big Brother-like power (IBM, anyone?) more reminiscent of Orwell’s fictional 1984.

Continue reading "Motorola taunts Apple: “Who’s Big Brother now?”" »

There’s a big event on today awash with celebs, skimpily-dressed WAGs and meatheads who get sweaty for a living.

I speak not of the Allan Border Medal, that self-congratulatory wankfest, aka the poor man’s Brownlow, where Shane Watson will again be recognised as the only bloke in Australia who can play cricket.

I’m talking about the Super Bowl, which starts at 10am today eastern time and goes for, oh, I don’t know, about a day or so.

Continue reading "It ain’t called the Super Bowl ‘cos the portions are small" »