Society

Update - 8pm: A Current Affair has reported that Clarke has ended his relationship with Bingle. Read the news.com.au report here.

I’ve been thinking for a while now that the Australian cricket team and the huge machinery around it contained a bunch of over-paid, under-developed, spoiled brats happily trapped in a pre-feminist world, but today really tipped it over the edge for me.

It’s clear the cricket mob is not coping with the loss of the good old days when wives maintained a dignified presence at home for 10 months of the year while their husbands traveled their way around the world safely cocooned in the mantra “what goes on tour stays on tour.”

According to Peter Roebuck, Robert Craddock, Mark Waugh, and just about every other bloke with an opinion on this, Lara Bingle didn’t get the memo that it’s her job to stay at home and play a “quiet, dignified supporting role.”

Continue reading "Grown men threatened by a 22-year-old model" »

When they hear that I don’t have a Facebook account or a Twitter page, some people look at me as if I’ve just announced that I want no part of some fundamental convention of society.

It’s the same reaction that I would get if I told them that I don’t own a pair of underpants or a toothbrush.

They look at me like I am some sort of commando-going, halitosis-suffering maniac who must be stopped for the sake of all mankind.

Continue reading "Surrendering to social media" »

One sunny afternoon I was coming out of Sydney’s Redfern Station and a woman with a child asked me for money. I felt so sorry for her that I gave her my last 5 bucks. Feeling self-satisfied at my generosity, I walked away with a smile on my face. Then something strange happened. She yelled out sarcastically, “Thanks, you … slut”.

Up until this point I’d always thought I’d given money to “beggars” unconditionally –  certainly I’d always shouted down people who moralised that “they will only spend it on drugs and alcohol”. But with her insult, something inside me snapped.

Marching back up to her I demanded my money back. She told me to “f… off” as I proceeded to give her a lecture on begging etiquette. My view, which I proceeded to ram down her throat with some equally colourful language, was that she should be polite to me because I gave her the last of my money.

Continue reading "An unfinished guide to etiquette for beggars" »

Who needs Posh ‘n’ Becks? Australian cricket vice-captain Michael Clarke and his model girlfriend Lara Bingle have confirmed themselves as the nation’s celebrity circus couple.

Clarke is known for being unhappy with the ongoing publicity that surrounds their relationship but its effect has reached a nadir with him quitting the team camp on the eve of a one-day match against New Zealand because his girlfriend was upset.

This is no Hollywood couple’s restaurant flare-up. Clarke’s sudden and stunning decision to return to Sydney to be with Bingle raises questions on his future role in the team and ability to focus on his cricket. Clarke has been a consistently excellent performer and is the favourite to succeed Ricky Ponting as captain.

Continue reading "With Pup and Lara who needs Posh and Becks?" »

Be afraid, be very afraid. The food Nazis are on the hunt through suburban school lunch boxes. Food is no longer a private matter in our educational institutions; parents are quaking in their shoes, terrified that they will be judged on the efficacy of their social responsibility and parenting skills by the contents of the humble pail. 

The fallout of which means becoming social pariahs based on white bread, or the inclusion of a Tim Tam.

Teachers peer beneath the lids of the not so humble receptacles (very seldom now a simple plastic box – they’re now themed, decorated, iced, chilled, heated, layered, compartmentalised and sheathed) and “tut tut”, or shake their heads at a child’s humble peanut butter sandwich or limp carrot.

Continue reading "Food allergy fascists make peanuts of us all" »

Welcome to another amble around the mission-brown patios and decked al fresco areas festooned across our sea-girt nation.

We start this week in the Land of Queens, where the mighty have fallen.  The Ipswich News reports the ute at the centre of the Utegate fiasco that has been resurrected and turned into a Meals on Wheels fundraiser.

Just as the Krudster himself has pulled a hairshirt skivvy over those coke-bottle specs and wound up a mea culpa or two, so the ute that did no real damage to his political career is now a contrite charity van.

Continue reading "Suburban Tales: Utegate revisited" »

For me and my girlfriends growing up, having babies was definitely a “no-go” area. Going to university, travelling the world and starting a career were the three things drummed into our heads over and over by mothers who came from a generation that married early -  usually between the ages of 18 and 23 - quickly started a family and left their own careers to play second fiddle to that of their husbands.

Almost thirty years down the track and the results are starting to show. The average age of a pregnant woman in Australia is now 29 and 25 per cent of women having their first baby are over 35. There are also more women than ever completing post graduate degrees at university and forging ahead with successful careers.

Continue reading "What is the best age for women to have babies?" »

China’s ‘“little emperors”, the adored children born under the country’s one-child policy with a reputation of being pampered and spoiled, are entering parenthood and have been accused of raising a generation of brats.

Chinese media this week ran reports in which men and women born in one-child families after 1980, known as “first generation only child”, were accused of producing selfish children with personality problems.

“Now that they have entered their 30s, many of them have already married and most have chosen to have one child. These children are called “second generation only child”,” the People’s Daily reported.

Continue reading "China’s second generation of spoilt brats" »

Wondering how to take great holiday snaps? Ben Groundwater has tips from Richard I’Anson, professional photographer and author of Lonely Planet’s Guide to Travel Photography, on how to take the perfect pic.

Except he’s forgotten the best tip on taking travel photos. Don’t. Put the camera down and go do something.

As Ben says, many travellers fancy themselves as photographers and “like to take the odd snap to show off to their friends back home”.

Continue reading "Those who can, do. Those who can’t, take photos" »

WELCOME to another journey around the dilapidated tennis tables and half-finished construction projects in the back sheds of suburbs around our nation.

We start this week’s shambolic ramble in the southern parts of Melbourne, where life can move slowly, especially when you’re strapped to a turtle.  Edithvale resident Helen Beaumont is just such a person. 

She has found the zen-like state of happiness that can only come from harnessing up a reptile with a makeshift doggy lead and walking it slowly down a beach.

Continue reading "Suburban Tales: Graffiti and cougar weddings" »

As a new recruit to Facebook, I admit I was not exactly on the first-wave of the online social networking phenomena. It’s not that I’m a techo-phobe by any measure (my blackberry is a constant companion).

It’s just that I am not entirely convinced that the addition of a Facebook page will enhance either my work or personal lives.  And the thing is, in this job, the two are often inextricably linked. MPs are public figures - albeit very minor ones. And - after sharing weekends, evenings and most waking hours with either my local constituents, my parliamentary colleagues,  Industry groups and stakeholders within my shadow portfolio responsibilities -  I’d kinda like to keep a little bit of me just for my nearest and dearest.

Call me old fashioned (and I’m sure many of you will) but I prefer to share my personal trials, triumphs and trivia with those I am closest to, rather than the-acquaintance-of-an-acquaintance who I met once at a function and who has now requested to be my “friend”.

Continue reading "Online tributes a hollow imitation of genuine grief" »

According to the Australian Treasury the global financial crisis is now officially ‘over’, with business booming and the unemployment rate once again beginning to shrink.

From an economic perspective, we might breathe a tentative sigh of relief, bearing in mind the fact that these boom and bust cycles are a cyclical feature of the global economy.

However, a broader social crisis still remains in the form of the persistent and intergenerational disadvantage that is preventing a significant proportion of Australians from contributing to the three national challenges of ‘Productivity’, ‘Participation’ and ‘Population’ identified in this year’s Intergenerational Report.

Continue reading "The GFC might be over but the poverty crisis remains" »

Is it only in obnoxious cities like Sydney where people bang on about interest rates and property prices?

And is it just people I’ve met or is it all of you? Don’t lie – I watch a lot of TV and judging by the nightly news and those current affairs programmes on commercial stations, everyone is obsessed with this stuff.

There are endless stories on the big banks ripping us off with higher rates, tips on how to invest in property, what the next hot areas to buy into will be etc etc.

Continue reading "Home ownership is a trick being played on you" »

I have a challenge for Kevin Rudd and Tony Abbott – when my Marriage Equality Bill comes before Parliament today, I dare you to resist the urge to control … sorry, kill debate by insisting Senators toe the party line.

Show some leadership instead, and let the members of your parties have the courage of their convictions by giving them a conscience vote.

Until the Australian people can see their representatives talk freely and vote honestly on the issue, they have no idea how far away they are from living in a nation where equality is truly valued.

Continue reading "Man up, Kev and Tony, have a free vote on equal marriage" »

The football club I’ve supported since childhood looks set to be relegated two seasons on the trot – and I’m absolutely delighted.

I couldn’t be happier, simply because the alternative for Portsmouth was much, much worse. Let me explain for anyone not following this utter debacle.

Pompey are roughly $135 million in debt after a few years of living the dream and now face a winding up petition from the UK taxman in the High Court. A hearing due to be held this coming Monday would probably have sealed the club’s fate. Portsmouth Football Club, established 1898, would no longer exist.

Continue reading "Existence has no meaning without a football team" »

The liberation that several near death experiences in quick succession gives you is, well, liberating. And on that note fellas, just how are your testicles today?

I ask this because I am quite convinced that few people realise that the ‘boys’ begin their existence as ovaries (a foetus starts out with ovaries, which early in the pregnancy descend to the groin to emerge as gonads, producing a male child, or stay in their originating location and produce a female baby) – yup – those mysterious, and little discussed bits within women that dictate an enormous amount of the female physiology, health and reproductive capabilities are just as necessary to a woman, as testes are to a man. Ovaries are a woman’s battery packs.  Are you getting my drift here?

Let me have another sip from my glass of neat Vodka – slice of lemon and a chunk of ice (I will no longer pretend to drink champagne as I detest the stuff and find it such a clichéd, girly drink – there’s that liberation again) as I paint a picture for you.

I have just survived a number of pulmonary embolisms – blood clots to my lungs, a deep vein thrombosis (DVT) in my pelvis, five ovarian tumours, life threatening surgery, oh, and the summer school holidays and a home renovation.

Continue reading "When your body is trying to tell you something, listen" »

As the spotlight rests on Tiger Woods following his admissions he was a sex cheat, we ask ourselves ... can Tiger change?

Can Tiger change his addictive behaviours which threatened to derail his life? History is our greatest measuring stick when we look at a person’s character and whether they are capable of change.

I believe in the old saying that a leopard can’t change its spots. But can Tiger change his behaviour which has dictated his wayward life in recent years?

Continue reading "Tiger says he’s a cheater, can a leopard change its spots?" »

Naked cartwheels, foot spas for toddlers and a board game that teaches youngsters the ins and outs of the drug trade.

It’s been another varied week in the quirky world of local newspapers.

When an 80-year-old Adelaide woman found a board game on her front lawn, quite naturally she gave it to her grandson.

Continue reading "Suburban tales: Of nudism and monopoly" »

I’ve been labouring under the false assumption that it’s the fundamentalists, the right wing conservatives standing in the way of gay marriage. Not so. Or not completely.

I now know that there’s a vast spread of middle-of-the-road Australians scared shitless by anything even slightly unconventional when it comes to weddings. They’re everywhere, they’re clinging to tradition with every fibre of their morally indignant being, and they cross into every population group.

There’s enough of them out there who get their full-sized briefs in a knot over non-church weddings to make it clear they’ll never tolerate same-sex unions. 

Continue reading "It’s your special day, but you’re married to the mob" »

Unpredictable, addictive and unrestricted. Chatroulette has sparked a cult following, countless YouTube clips, a new genre of shocked screen-grabs, and at last, mainstream coverage.

It could now draw the attention of would-be censors.

John Herrman, from Gizmodo.com calls Chatroulette, “speed-dating the entire Internet”. In an instant, you’re connected bedroom-to-bedroom with one of 20 thousand online strangers, anywhere in the world, be it dorm, cafe or basement lair.

The result is a hybrid of Skype and Peep-Show. If your chat partner is bored, they flick you to another round of spin of the bottle. It’s a return to the Internet’s Wild Wild West, argues NY Magazine - a lawless place for thrill-seekers, voyeurs, artists and freaks.

Continue reading "Is Chatroulette.com playing Russian with the censors?" »

You are a slothful and slapdash person who shows no aptitude or application. You have limited interest in the position you are applying for, regarding it only as a means to a pay cheque.

You will show an unwillingness to learn on the job, a refusal to work in teams, and are unlikely to abide by the tea room roster. You will probably also download pornography and fill the Coke machine with five cent pieces.

If this sounds like you, congratulations. You’ve got the job.

Continue reading "Computer says no: the rise and rise of pedantry" »

I have the overwhelming feeling that I should ‘put up my dukes’ and rstep outside with Carrie Mille, who seems to think mothers with prams and gym memberships are the collective Devil.

For the record, I do not have a *gym membership, but I do have a pram and a child. So in the words of Meatloaf, two outta three ain’t bad.

But I had 34 years of being single and childless. So I don’t want anyone to tell me I don’t know what it’s like to see my friends off at the church, picking rice out of their bodices, and lament the loss of yet another cocktail buddy.

Continue reading "Childless singletons - the grass is always greener" »

Congratulations Haley Bracken, you’ve made it. You’ve gone to a sporting awards night basically topless and now your photo is in all the papers. Your parents must be so proud.

What next? Attending the 2011 Allan Border medal with no pants on?

Someone needs to explain to me the point of this race to the bottom of the scrap fabric bin that we’re exposed to twice a year: once at cricket’s “night of nights” and then at the other end of the year at AFL’s Brownlows.

Continue reading "Does this even qualify as a “dress”?" »

The arrival of a newborn child does strange things to people. It warps their perspective and clouds their judgement — and that’s to say nothing of sleep-deprived new parents. Instead, it’s a conclusion I’ve reached by reading commentators and readers of opinion websites.

Take, for example, Carrie Miller’s offering in yesterday’s edition of The Punch. While Miller had a point about overbearing middle-class parents, she sounded like a child who needs a spell on the naughty step by likening child-bearing to ‘a banal biological tradition driven by the baser instincts inherent in animals’. 

Miller isn’t alone in reducing childbearing to nothing more than ‘biological tradition’. Over at Fairfax’s competitor to The Punch, the National Times, recent articles about the behaviour of harried parents and their prams provoked comments from readers arguing that children are nothing than a lifestyle choice.

Continue reading "A message to the selfish: children are a public good" »

I like Bowral’s Bong Bong Street as much as the next person who appreciates nice food, beautiful furniture and pretty gift shops. And that’s especially in the cooler months when even though you’re only 90 minutes from Sydney you’d be forgiven for thinking it was much further.

But as relaxing and escapist as that can feel it doesn’t mean that I don’t expect real life to exist there too. Or that many of the people working and living in the area don’t all live in a beautiful bubble of Southern Highland’s privilege everyday of their lives.

Continue reading "Bowral needs to get real" »

Don’t let the door hit you on the arse on the way out, will be the sentiment from a lot people if Pauline Hanson keeps her promise and moves to the UK for good.

Ms Hanson has told Woman’s Day that Australia is no longer the land of opportunity and she’s looking for a peaceful, less notorious existence.

But we’d all do well not to forget about the former fish and chip shop owner-turned politician. For the past decade and a half Hanson has served as a powerful warning to politicians and the media of the dangers of forgetting to ask people what they think.

Continue reading "I’ll miss Pauline Hanson" »

When did having children become anything other than it what it is: part of a banal biological tradition driven by the baser instincts inherent in animals?

OK, I admit, I’m nearly 42 and childless and plan to stay that way – and as smug parents often point out to me, this means I can’t understand things from their perspective. Well, guess what? You don’t know them from mine.

From where I stand, our whole culture seems to revolve around the needs of people with offspring - although of course this narcissism is dressed up as being all about the kids.

Continue reading "Why I hate parents - that means you" »

Valentine’s Day is the Celine Dion of holidays. You either love it so much you experience butterflies in your stomach in anticipation, or it drives you so crazy that you want to tie it up, gag it and pummel it with whiffle bats.

For those with a significant other it’s a day of romance, a day where star crossed lovers express their love for each other with flowers, chocolate and greeting cards. For those sans-partner it’s a day of self reflection, Dr Phil, Hagen Daas and Dido.

To me it’s a day of treason.

Continue reading "A trivial trip down Valentine’s Day lane" »

We’ll kick off this week’s tour of the suburbs with a story likely to leave your grandad shaking his head and telling you the world’s gone mad.

In yet another kick to the swingers for first-time buyers, a 16 square metre garage has been sold in North Bondi – for $240,000.

As the Wentworth Courier reports, a punter shelled out more than four times the average Australian salary for “a little extra space”.

Continue reading "Suburban Tales: The romance of housework" »

On our summer holidays we had a baby.

And with the joy of Georgia’s arrival managing the night has reached a new level of complexity. For parents of young families this is one of the great challenges of life.

Night feeds, bad dreams, wet beds and sleep walking have been part and parcel of the night shift in our house for more than a decade now. Yet of the four children easily the busiest at night, at least for now, has been Harvey.

Continue reading "A night with Harvey" »

Editor’s note: This week on Twitter Rhiannon pledged to donate $10 each day to a different charity. And she’d welcome your suggestions on charities worth donating to. You’ll find her blog and Twitter name at the bottom of her piece.

Here’s my confession: I’ve done a few bad things in my life. 

When I was seven I stole some stickers from my teacher. As Julia Roberts would say, big mistake. Huge.

Even now I still turn nauseous now at the thought of banana-scented scratch-and-sniff.

Continue reading "How to be good on $10 a day" »

So that was January. And around Australia, families are coming to terms with the knowledge that the festive puppy they bought little Timmy is still resisting all forms of house training, and has grown a uniquely virulent form of mange.

Unsurprisingly then, we’re seeing a smattering of tales in suburban newspapers about the saddening, cruel and generally scumbaggy practice of pet dumping.

The Albert and Logan News reports a pet shop in that neck of Brisbane has been getting its fair share of unwanted waifs. Dumped creatures of the past four years have included doves, guinea pigs, chickens and even a 6ft coastal carpet python.

Continue reading "Suburban tales: pythons, horses heads and strippers" »

Does your new model six-cylinder car make you happier? What about that new in-home cinema, complete with HD-TV, surround sound, and reclining couches? You think so. How about the holiday you recently took with the family?

Unfortunately, as humans we are not that good at predicting, understanding, or acting in a way that makes us happy.  This lack of knowledge is even more pronounced when it comes to the relationship between what we buy and how happy it makes us. 

Have you even considered how happy various purchases you’ve made have actually made you? 

Continue reading "Money probably can buy you happiness" »

Think you’re a normal weight? So did I, until I got stuck in lift at 2am.

A big group of us piled in and it promptly broke.

After the shock of screaming to a halt between floors, we were indignant. The lift said it could hold 12 people. There were only 11 of us.

Continue reading "Fat tax useless if overweight is the new average" »

WHAT sort of a society breeds little bastards like these?

Thats what Britain is asking itself after the sickening details of how a ten-year-old boy and his 11-year-old brother tortured two other boys to within an inch of their lives were made public here last week.

The facts of the case, which has echoes in the killing of two-year-old Jamie Bulger in Liverpool in 1993, have provoked a storm of anger and re-opened the debate about Broken Britain and where it all went wrong for a once proud country.

Continue reading "Postcard from London: What society breeds these kids?" »

The Punch’s fashion queen and all-round style guru Nedahl Stelio made a shocking announcement this morning. 

The clog she tweeted is making a comeback.

That’s right ‘clog’. That funny looking shoe made with open backs and closed toes.

Continue reading "Punch list: Fashion items that shouldn’t come back" »

The story of the ‘great Australian sickie’ made it around the world this week, spreading the fallacy that half a million Aussies faked sore throats and tummy bugs to get a long weekend.

Direct Health Solutions – apparently a ‘leader in Positive Absence Management and Corporate Wellness Solutions’ (what the?) – was given a massive free kick with their Australia Day absenteeism ‘estimate’.

Then the Retailers Associations’ Scott Driscoll really got the headlines pumping, labelling the sickie-takers ‘unAustralian bums’.

Continue reading "In defence of sickies" »

Late January, and it’s time for schools to repopulate with wide-eyed kids eager to resume ignoring their teachers in favour of the psychological abuse of their peers.

Consequently, it’s also the time roads start getting clogged and the strains of tune-free music to start screeching through the air as students pick up neglected instruments again.

It’s a stressful time of year, particularly for teachers.

Continue reading "Suburban tales: BBQs, buskers and killer shrubs" »

Certain flaws are necessary for the whole.  It would seem strange if old friends lacked certain quirks.  ~ Goethe

It’s amazing how you can carry something around with you. Tic-tac teeth for instance.

A number of years ago somebody referred to me as tic-tac teeth on National television and since that point I’ve carried the comment everywhere I’ve gone.

Continue reading "Strength and comfort from being honest about flaws" »

The signature dish at the Prairie Hotel , in South Australia’s Flinders Ranges, is its Road Kill Grill ($30), a mix of kangaroo and emu fillet on mash, with a camel sausage tossed in for good measure.

I can recommend the kangaroo tail soup too.

Reflecting on what it means to be Australian inevitably leads to a debate about our national dish. The Daily Telegraph asked the question on Australia Day, with Masterchef’s Poh Ling Yeow telling the Tele salt-and-pepper squid has taken over from fish and chips as our top tucker. It follows on from a major survey in The Sunday Telegraph where people said Australia’s national dish is the meat pie (37 per cent), followed by roast lamb (28 per cent), lamingtons (12 per cent) and pavlova (11 per cent).

Continue reading "For a truly Australian dish, first insert tinnie in bum" »

Welcome to another trip around the lawn chairs and broken trampolines of our wide brown suburbs.

There’s nothing like an urban planning story to get the heart of every local journo pumping. All those genteel ‘save our suburbs’ types in leafy inner suburbs butting heads against shadowy property developer types torn straight out of an episode of

Secret Valley. It all makes for good copy.

Take the story from Brisbane’s Springfield News this week that the local Hare Krishna community may be denied permission to build a temple.

Continue reading "Suburban tales: You left your whip and chicken in the cab" »

I recently let the world know that I am expecting twins.

I had read the chapter on pregnancy and other people in my new bible, ‘What to expect when expecting,’ by Sharon Mazel and Heidi Murkoff so had braced myself for some inappropriate tummy touching and some well-meaning pregnancy advice.

I thought I was prepared. How wrong can you be?

Continue reading "10 things not to say to a pregnant woman" »

This is a message to the 80, 000 or so high school graduates who will later today log onto the UAC site and find out whether or not they received a place at an Australian university for 2010.

Whatever happens don’t panic. Especially if you have spent the entire Christmas break avoiding the questions of (well meaning) relatives asking what you want to do with the rest of your life.

It is absolutely 100 per cent OK if you (a) you don’t want to go to university or (b)fall into the 30, 000 or so people who will miss out on a place this year.

Continue reading "University, it’s not for everyone" »

They take on the privileges of Australian citizenship with little real knowledge of, or attachment to, our key values and institutions.

I’m not talking about migrants, who at least have to pass a minimum test for citizenship.

I’m talking about young Australians who are ‘born’ into citizenship and who receive the full privileges of a citizen on their eighteenth birthday.

Continue reading "Let’s stop taking our citizenship for granted" »

It’s the kind of thing that would get you pelted with stones in the town square in less civilised countries. So as a celebration of our freedoms I’ll say it. Australia Day is a load of rubbish.

And it is increasingly celebrating the worst aspects of our national character, where rather than being a day for thoughtful reflection on our history and our values, it’s starting to look more a half-witted contest to see how much meat you can eat and how much grog you can sink.

This isn’t a wowser’s warning against barbecues and beer. Far from it. I’m a keen supporter of binge-drinking, I’ve never met a meat product I didn’t adore, and I think the likes of NSW Police Commissioner Andrew Scipione and federal Health Minister Nicola Roxon should quit their day jobs and seek formal employment as nannies, such is their enthusiasm for treating adults like babies and criminalising fun.

Continue reading "Why Australia Day is rubbish" »

This article was written for The Australian ahead of Australia Day last year and is reprinted here.

MICK Dodson invites us - civilly and without a trace of anger - to open a conversation about January 26. It’s an indigenous perspective one can grasp immediately.

Aborigines lived here undisturbed for maybe 60,000 years, until one particular January 26 began their dispossession, and the lesser-known story of their resistance. It has always been my view, though, that we can make this part of the commemoration. After all Anzac Day recalls a tragedy, yet is part of our big story. And we remember it with respect, nonetheless.

Why is January 26 worth celebrating? There are many reasons.

Continue reading "January 26 the only day to celebrate, understand, mourn" »

Handbags. They can do a lot for us girls.

Big, small, clutch, tote, sleek, patent leather, tasselled and bedazzled. If you can dream it up, you can probably find it and you’ll probably enjoy the experience.

And while never as coveted as a great pair of shoes, handbags come a close second in the ever-expanding bevy of things considered essential to being ‘us’.

Continue reading "It’s all in the bag" »

Bridget Jones has a generation of Chinese sisters. They are unmarried, aged 30 or above and known as shengnu or leftover women.

Shengnu was once an offensive term and popular only in Shanghai but an increase in the number of singles has meant these women are now a small social force in cities like Beijing. A popular newspaper reported recently: “The era of the shengnu is here”.

Shengnu also carry the unflattering title of 3S women, meaning single, born in the seventies and considered “stuck” (although many would insist they have chosen to remain single). They are educated and well paid but remain unmarried despite being past the age traditionally considered most appropriate for getting hitched in China.

Continue reading "Postcard from Beijing: China’s man drought" »

The Prime Minister of Haiti has estimated the death toll of this week’s earthquake to be over 100,000. Reports yesterday suggest the death-toll could soon rival that of the Boxing Day Tsunami.

It is my firm belief that we could have done more to minimise the magnitude of loss as a result of the earthquake. Neither you nor I have the ability to play God and predict a quake or even lessen its power but what we do have is the ability to alter the death toll from such a horrific disaster.

Over 78% of Haitian residents live in poverty, which is defined by the World Bank as living on US$2 per day, and it is these conditions that are responsible for the saddening predictions from the Haitian Prime Minister.

Continue reading "The high death toll in Haiti is due to poverty, not nature" »

Another happy-go-lucky Hollywood production is out about infidelity: ‘It’s Complicated’. It may even win the star of the movie an academy award.

I don’t want to rain on Merryl Streep’s parade, but what’s not complicated is fidelity to your partner and kids.

There are two simple rules – your marriage matters more than nearly everything else, and if you are a parent, be a parent.

Continue reading "What’s not complicated about marriage and family" »

This week I stood by two long time friends as one of them was euthanized.

It followed a “tough conversation” I had recently with the human friend after witnessing the canine friend’s decline in recent months. 

I had called up first and asked permission to discuss the topic. “When it is my turn with [my cat] Mikki I want you to be objective,” I told my friend.

Continue reading "How to support your friends when their pets are fading" »

THE German or Japanese languages may have one, but there is no word in English which accurately conveys the crushing, overwhelming sense of misery felt at the end of a good holiday.

It doesn’t seem to matter if you’ve had one week off or four, whether you love or hate your job. The first day back at work always feels like a special kind of hell when you wistfully recall where you were and what you were doing a week or so prior.

Talking to a mate yesterday, who like me was on his first day back after a three-week break, it struck us how so much of this dislike of modern work doesn’t stem from some irrational hatred of having a job. Instead, it’s to do with a justifiable sense of frustration at the way we are often compelled to do our jobs.

Continue reading "Too busy holding meetings to do any actual work" »

YOU’RE standing at a city pedestrian crossing, with cars backed up on either side of the lights. Your “walk” light goes green and you step off the kerb.

Suddenly a blurred object zaps past you, missing you by millimetres. As it dissolves into the traffic, leaving you shaken and furious, you get a vague impression of two wheels and a figure wearing a helmet.

And there isn’t a thing you can do about it, other than shake your fist and shout redundant expletives at the long-vanished perpetrator.

Continue reading "Forget taxing road warriors, no matter how obnoxious" »

Rosedale is a small country town in central Gippsland. Now a stop for tourists on their journey from Melbourne to the Ninety Mile Beach, the Gippsland Lakes, or southern New South Wales, Rosedale was, from the earliest days, a resting point for weary travellers.

Following the discovery of gold at Walhalla, the town became a staging point for the Cobb & Co coaches transporting miners, supplies, and gold between Port Albert – and later Melbourne - and the rich goldfields.

Although there are no major ranges between Melbourne and Gippsland, a combination of swamps, and a heavily treed chain of hills between the Great Dividing and South Gippsland ranges deterred exploration from the fledgling Victorian capital. As a result, south eastern Victoria was opened up by explorers from southern New South Wales.

Continue reading "Outside forces killing our country towns" »

UPDATE 10.30am: The author is in a panic following the release of a study this morning that showed watching television can result in early death. As a confessed hypochondriac who persistently frets about dying he is now considering his future and will discuss his position tomorrow on The Punch.

I love television. Absolutely, bloody love it. And I have a real distrust of people who say, “I don’t really watch television”. I’m convinced that I detect a smug sneer as they say it.

My Pavlovian reaction to anyone who says this is to immediately picture the person – and I swear this is true – in a wood-panelled drawing room, sat with their partner in high-backed leather arm chairs, either side of a big old-fashioned radiogram, smiling serenely at each other. Sometimes the female of the pair is engaged in some sort of embroidery.

I have no idea where this mental picture comes from, but I guess it may be some weird visualisation of my inverted snobbery trying to puncture their television condescension at the first whiff I get. (Not sure what this all means psychologically, but I’m sure Dr Phil would know).

Continue reading "Liking television doesn’t make me a vacuous idiot" »

Having survived the recession, swine-flu and my affair with Tiger Woods, it chills me to find out there’s a new threat - airport scanners.

Now, I’m used to scanners. Used to queuing for ages behind people who empty their pockets only when they get to the scanning belt. Used to my (completely non-metallic) shoes setting off the alarms. I’m used to getting through and then being stopped for an explosives scan because I just love being scanned that much.

But these new scanners, recent coverage suggests, are different. A perversion of the metal scanner I know and love.

These scanners emit x-rays that pass through my clothes and then flash up a monochromatic image of me, denuded of clothes and hair, for security officials to leer and peer at my bits.

Continue reading "If it gets me where I’m going, bring on the X-ray scanner" »

It’s the deadly season of drownings. Sounds terrible, doesn’t it? The bad news is that it’s going to get worse this summer. There will be umpteen drownings across Australia.

I feel sick every time I read - or worse, report - about a child drowning. I know they are always accidents but I also know that the parents are not at arms’ length from the child.

It’s common knowledge that people drown if they put themselves in a risky situation. The simple ways to prevent a drowning are:

Continue reading "Vigilance is the only way to prevent drowning" »

Anyone who enjoys making out with inanimate objects will be thrilled by the news that an American inventor has manufactured a life-size female sex robot called Roxxxy, equipped with flesh-like skin, a smattering of playful conversation, a busty chest and an insatiable appetite for getting it on.

More exciting though is the promise that Roxxxy will soon be followed a by a male sex doll who will replicate the characteristics of a real guy.

Ideas man Douglas Hines unveiled Roxxxy at the Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas on Saturday. ‘‘She can’t vacuum, she can’t cook, but she can do almost anything else if you know what I mean,’’ he said, which may have been a nudge-nudge reference to her ability to knit, juggle and perform long division.

Continue reading "With Roxxxy complete, a sex doll that acts like a real man" »

I woke one morning in December feeling a little queasy and was instantly reminded that my tolerance for alcohol is no longer what it used to be.

I like to tell myself that lack of sleep associated with being a father of two little boys has affected my partying ability. But with the onset of a few (only a few) grey hairs, I have to ask who I’m kidding.

There was a time when I could lead the march into the dawn in search of the next club, bar or party but nowadays I’m more concerned with getting enough rest and being on top form for the following day. How boring.

Continue reading "Inspiration for staying creative as you get older" »

You meet a lot of interesting people on holidays. Well when I say “meet”, I mean observing people from a safe distance and mercilessly taking the piss if warranted.

I stayed at a rather nice beach resort in Malaysia over Christmas and it was simultaneously a pleasurable and fascinating experience. I think the five stars were awarded for the characters
that were staying there.

It really was a microcosm of humanity, mixed with sand and the odd Pina Colada. In no particular order we had the delightful Poms from Bogan-On-Trent who thought the dress code in the restaurant where breakfast was served was footwear optional. I love the look of tinea in the morning.

Continue reading "We all turn into cliched stereotypes on holiday" »

I’ve decided to use my latest post as research for a book I’d like to write. It’s called 101 Things They Don’t Tell You About Being A Parent. It may be called 1001 Things – if I get enough responses. Please help me with your UGC (user generated content) below, as I have three hungry mouths to feed.

The baby books give you plenty of details about the birthing process. There are volumes dealing with baby/toddler/infant illnesses and the symptoms to look out for (different books for different stages, in fact). There are books that explain how to raise your child to be happy. Others explain the nuances of raising boys. Or alternatively, of course, girls.

There are even books explaining how to get your sex life back on track when, frankly, you’re too tired to masturbate.

Continue reading "Turn the baby monitor off before you argue" »

Australia is recognized internationally as a stable and prosperous country offering refuge to those in need or new opportunities for migrants.

Over fifty boats carrying around fourteen hundred refugees have arrived in Australian waters in 2009. Another one hundred thousand other refugees and migrants have arrived by more conventional means.

The Refugee Council of Australia (RCOA) has long identified family reunion as one of the top priorities for refugees and other migrants once they have been settled in Australia. Facilitating family reunion has been shown to have an impact on settlement through improvements in economic participation as well as the psychosocial well-being of refugees and migrants themselves.

Continue reading "Immigration could resurrect Grandma’s place in society" »

Lucy and Gemma, two pretty little girls, live across the road from me.

While walking on the beach, I regularly meet a trio of handsome hunks named Max, Henry and George, as well as a stately old lady, Rosie, and her sprightly young companion, Ruby.

Their owners are Shane, Riley, Jordan and Tayla. (That’s one boy and three girls, for the record.)

Continue reading "Why are we giving our kids names fit for puppies" »

* Warning - this post contains offensive language (actually, it depends a bit on your definition of “offensive”).

F***, f***, f***, f***, f*** and f*** it again. I have just agreed to write a 500 word article over the weekend. What a f****** pain in the arse. I should have said I was too f***** busy and they should get some other stupid f*** to do it.

Gosh, I hope I haven’t offended anyone. Have I used any offensive language? So what is offensive language anyway? You could go to any pub in Sydney and hear language much worse than I’ve used.

But you better not speak like that in front of a police man or woman. Especially if you are being difficult anyway and they are looking for some way to get you under their control.

Continue reading "Heading out tomorrow night - watch your mouth*" »

In January 2005 the public was still reeling from the devastation of the 2004 Boxing Day tsunami when the beginning of the end for Mark Latham took place.

The then-Opposition Leader refused to break his summer holiday to put out a statement about the horrific event - he wouldn’t even return the calls of the then acting leader Senator Chris Evans (deputy Labor leader Jenny Macklin was also on leave). It turned out Latham was sick, of the pancreas and of politics, and he disappeared off into the Western Sydney sunset.

At the time it seemed inexplicable that someone wouldn’t halt their vacation for an hour or two to deal with a crisis of such enormity. But perhaps Mark Latham was a work life balance visionary.

Continue reading "We all need holidays, even Presidents" »

There were only a few minutes left of the 1970s. Patrick and I were sharing a peaceful New Years Eve joint in a friend’s back yard at quiet Hervey Bay.

We were 21, two of the (then) little town’s bright and shiny minds, the world at our feet, the stars in our sights. Where would we be, we wondered, come the 21st century? What would we be like? Would we follow the generational pattern of wild youth becomes tame middle-aged man becomes conservative old man?

So we made a pact that night, Patrick and I. In fear of turning into our parents, we vowed that each of us, no matter where we were, would be stoned as the 21st century rolled in. But Patrick hesitated. He turned to me under the unnaturally bright stars and said, very seriously: “Does it have to be just grass?”

Continue reading "It looks like Patrick, it must the clouds in my eyes" »

MANLINESS or the right to be the opposite has been THE hot topic up here in Central Queensland lately, so here’s something that might get things smoking.

A mate sent me an ad from Ebay for what could be the ideal gift for the true blue Aussie bloke who has everything. It’s billed as “A real man’s barbecue – not for metrosexuals or latte drinkers.

“Features: Manliness, awsomeness …. free sausage fat, free spiders, seasoned pollen plate…

Continue reading "A real man’s bloody awesome non-latte sipping barbecue" »

Yes, there have been some corkers in the fashion world this past ten years – thigh high rubber boots usually worn to wade in alligator-infested swamps anyone? – but there have also been some winners. Pieces that women have been thankful to add on high rotation in their wardrobe. Here’s a round up of the best and worst trends of the decade.

WORST

The 80’s revival
Those who are old enough to have gone through it once are also old enough to remember how horrifically unfashionable the 80’s were. All you have to do is look at Sarah-Jessica Parker then, and Sarah-Jessica Parker now to know that the 80’s should not be revisted.

Continue reading "The best and worst fashion of the decade" »

I was raised a tyke in the 60s. The key role models who gave my life direction when I was young were strong men committed to the service of others: Brothers Dacian, Dionysius, Nicholas, Xavier, John (the Baptist), Ronald and Ernest at Marcellin College Randwick.

Cardinal Pell hopes the soon to be sainted Mary Mackillop can be a much needed role model for ordinary Australians today.

I value the lessons I was taught by the religious brothers, and admire the strength and legacy of Mackillop. But I think the average Australian needs different role models: men and women who have stayed faithful to their partner and who have raised their kids to be good citizens whilst coping with the all the challenges of working life.

Continue reading "Would it be too much to ask to have a saint with a family" »

Well, Tiger Woods’ long-standing mistress is a woman who’s last name is Grubbs. Does that say it all, or what?

My friends have been asking me how I spend my time at home with a 15-month-old.

When I tell them that between Play School and swimming lessons I follow a theory called nominative determinism they sort of nod and smile politely.

Continue reading "Once a Grubb… what’s in a name and can you defy yours" »

Would you believe it if I told you more Australians know what their loved one’s favourite tipple is, or the song that tops their personal playlist, or what their go-to comfort food is - than whether or not, if the end was nigh, they would choose to be an organ donor?

It sounds slightly flippant when you put it like that but that’s the finding from a new national survey of 3800 Australians conducted on behalf of the Australian Organ and Tissue Donation and Transplantation Authority. 

The survey also revealed most Australians believe ending a relationship, talking to an elderly family member about aged care and explaining the birds and the bees to their kids are harder conversations to have with their loved ones than organ and tissue donation.

Continue reading "If you discuss one thing with your family this Christmas…" »

“Just because I’m a hypochondriac, it doesn’t mean I’m not ill”. Sick, clichéd, but true.

In my stronger moments I can be rational about my health, and even laugh at my anxiety around it; but when my head and heart start racing, I desperately hope that those feelings of impending doom are just feelings…

I can’t remember when I first started worrying about my health, but I was always the sort of kid who missed things because of ‘tummy aches’. I didn’t fake them; I just seemed to worry enough until I genuinely felt ill.

Continue reading "Confessions of a hypochondriac" »

Maybe it’s because free-to-air TV programming in this country is ludicrous, but I have only just gotten around to watching the first two seasons of a critically acclaimed US TV series I had been longing to scratch off my ‘To Watch’ list.

Ironically, Mad Men - the show set in the un-pc world of Madison Avenue circa 1960 - did more for my own personal consciousness raising than Gloria Steinem ever did.

Falling into this fictional world really rocked mine.

Continue reading "Mad Men changed my life" »

Ok so you’d never call them fashionable. And they’re really time-consuming.

You feel guilty when you get them from people you never see and they’re definitely not good for the environment.

But can we please not get rid of giving Christmas cards? Especially the ones that come with a yearly update and family photo stapled to the inside.

Continue reading "Keeping Christmas real" »

In “Network”, Sidney Lumet’s groundbreaking 1976 media satire, disgruntled TV anchor Howard Beale successfully urged his viewers to lean out of their windows and scream, “I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it anymore.

In the film, it caused a paradigm shift and Beale’s instant transition to overnight celebrity, a modern day shaman clown, a television messiah.
Today, however, everyone is leaning out their windows, screeching to the heavens and the streets below.


But the verbal diarrhoea spewing forth from their many belching mouths isn’t anywhere near as poignant as Beale’s infamous phrase.
It’s happening right here. It’s happening right now. It’s happening at the bottom of this very page.


Continue reading "Unsocial commentary - the artless art of online abuse" »

This handy ready-reckoner is offered in the spirit of the silly season for those of you with a song in your heart at the tail end of a night out. I have now been to karaoke a couple of times and quite enjoy it - I think you’ll enjoy it too.

Rule one: Full action.

This is a term coined by a karaoke-obsessed Indonesian journalist called Donny Dahono, the first bloke to ever drag me along to karaoke, who would explode with rage if the singer remaining seated, turned away from the crowd, or offered anything less than what he defined as “full action”. Donny makes a crucial point. None of us can really sing anyway so why not over-compensate with stage presence? Also, to use a radio term, there should never be any “dead air”. When you get in make sure everyone has a song lined up and wait your turn for the first hour, before taking on all-comers in a shameless bid to sing everything.

Continue reading "The twelve rules of karaoke" »

The Daily Telegraph ran the story today as its Monday lead, “Drug lords hit town – cartels get rich on Aussie hunger for cocaine”.

A “generational shift” the paper explained, has pushed the demand for the drug making Australia the world’s most lucrative coke market. 

While this was surely a shock for the few Sydneysiders who haven’t stepped out to a bar, club, trendy restaurant or party in the past few years, for the rest of us, the story was more a case of no shit Sherlock than shock. Because, if you live in Sydney and are under the age of 55, chances are you will run into the drug every day if you knew what you were looking for.

Continue reading "Sydney awash with coke" »

WHILE the world has been stewing over greenhouse gases and the impact of climate change at Copenhagen, the steamy affairs of Tiger Woods have been fogging up computer screens as every day more details of his antics off the green are revealed.

Since being hurt in a mystery car crash just over two weeks ago, the golf superstar’s torrid string of girlfriends has provided a steady diet of sex and athletic prowess to tantalise readers more than any Mills and Boon novel.

What has been just as fascinating is how Tiger’s reported extra-curricular activities have polarised comments on online news sites. The saga appears to have triggered a gender divide among many readers.

Continue reading "Men and women on Tiger Woods" »

Enough with Tiger’s mistresses and their predictable push-up bras and mini skirts. Give me Mrs Woods!

While others have been marvelling at The Big T’s ability to juggle so many, many, many extra marital affairs, I’ve been sweating on what Elin is going to wear at her first public appearance.

After all, it’s The Wife’s post-scandal outfit that sets the post-scandal agenda. It lets the world know exactly what kind of woman she is. Wants to be. Will be. At least in the press.

Continue reading "Fashion for the jilted: the post-adultery dress" »

If you have an aversion to thousands of riders in brightly coloured lycra, it’s not for you. If, however, you are a keen recreational cyclist who delights in an outdoor adventure, the Great Victorian Bike Ride is one of the ‘must do’ events in life.

First conducted in 1984, when 2,100 people cycled from Wodonga to Melbourne, it has grown into one of the great cycle touring events in the world. Last week, 5,000 people rode from Portland in the west of the State, via Cape Bridgewater, along the iconic Great Ocean Road to Geelong.

Averaging 70 kilometres a day, the huge peleton spread for kilometres along the coastal road. There was every shape and size of human imaginable, battling headwinds from Port Fairy to Port Campbell one day, and then the long climbs to Laver’s Hill and over the Otways the next.

Continue reading "The cycle of your life" »

Put your hand up if you own a dictionary. How about a thesaurus, book on grammar or an encyclopaedia? 

What do you do with them these days?

My dictionary sits beside the bed and aside from a handful of smug, self-satisfied glances at it, it’s mostly a useful prop for my bedside lamp. 

Continue reading "Did I sleep with Tiger Woods? And other questions of 2009" »

When did everyone suddenly get tattoos? And marginally more sinister, why do I want some? I’m in my early forties, married with three children, and suddenly I have a yearning for three hours worth of ink-work on my upper arms. What gives?

Maybe I’ve watched too much rugby league. Perhaps it was being surprised at what nice lads those brothers from Good Charlotte were on their recent visit (and they’re covered in the stuff). Or maybe the constraints of my fortysomething life have lead me to believe that defiling myself would be some sort of rebellious act. Whatever the catalyst, I’ve had a paradigm shift in my view on tattoos. In particular with reference to whether they should appear on my body somewhere. 
I grew up in England in the working class, naval City of Portsmouth, where tattoo parlours were plentiful and usually sheltered menacingly under railway arches; their windows covered in wire mesh.

Continue reading "A wife and 2.4 tattoos" »

Ageing, death and dying have become the new pornography of the 21st Century. They are rarely talked about in polite circles and when they are, it’s in a distorted and denying way.

The genetic program for ageing is largely determined at the time of conception.

You can realise the best possible scenario for your body with things such as good diet and exercise but your body and the cells in it have been programmed to age and then die, no matter how many creams and supplements you use.

Continue reading "Outsourcing your own death doesn’t make it any easier" »

Waiting for Labor to sort itself out or Waiting for Rail Corp is not perhaps as catchy a phrase as Waiting for Godot, but recently I found myself an actor in a Beckett-like universe, waiting for a train.

I stood waiting not with Vladimir and Estragon, Beckett’s famous protagonists, but with my five year old son Luke and his best mate, Tom. I’d promised the two train enthusiasts a short trip to North Sydney.

In Waiting for Godot, Godot never appears. In my play the train did come but only after a series of events that could have been scripted for the Theatre of the Absurd, or Fawlty Towers.

Continue reading "Meanwhile, back at the station" »

Whenever I read the word ‘contagious’ I think of chicken pox and the summer I spent scratching myself stupid as an eight year old.

My younger sister caught it from a school friend the week before and I remember my mum telling us to keep close to each other in a bid to hit all thee kids at once.

And it worked. Before you knew it I was covered in Pinetarsol and ensconced in the shade of the back yard with a pile of books.

Continue reading "Chicken pox and loneliness" »

The booming piano chords that kick off Baby One More Time by Britney Spears constitute one of pop music’s great moments. Like the start of Michael Jackson’s The Way You Make Me Feel or the staccato guitar strums in Faith by George Michael, the Spears intro heralds the start of what is unquestionably one of the genre’s best songs - and one of its last.

Amid all the analysis and reflection on this tumultuous decade as it winds to a close – there’s a powerful interactive trip down memory lane here – there has been a change in contemporary culture, in some ways a sad one, that has gone pretty much unnoticed.

Pop music disappeared.

Continue reading "R.I.P. pop music. We’ll miss you" »

If Joe Hockey wins the leadership of the federal Liberal Party, the biggest loser will not be Malcolm Turnbull.

Nor will it be the government’s Emissions Trading Scheme.

It will be five-week-old Ignatius Theodore Babbage-Hockey.

Continue reading "Work life balance could be Joe’s greatest battle" »

The so-called “festive season” needs a new name. 

Because as it stands right now with it’s smug connotations of happiness, relaxation and general mirth-it’s terrifically misleading.

Take for instance, this incident one night last week.

Continue reading "Five ways to make Aussie Christmas better" »

Did you realise today is National Leave Work on Time Day?

Well it is.  So what that means that if you’re not already in the habit of watching the clock as the last hour of work passes you by and then jumping out of your desk as soon as it chimes then today you have full permission to do so.

Continue reading "Do you work too hard?" »

The depth of the distress revealed by members of the ‘forgotten children’ this week should be a wake-up call for all Australians to ensure we adequately protect and nurture our children’s emotional development.

Like most other Australians, I have been shocked by the heart-breaking stories of the brave souls who have come forward over the course of this week talking about the abuse they suffered while in the care of government institutions, foster care and church organisations in our country. 

It is clear that the feelings of abandonment, coupled with sexual, physical, and emotional abuse have left indelible, intergenerational scars, with many finding it difficult to trust or love others throughout their adult lives. 

Continue reading "Learning to empathise is the key to healing hurt" »

Welcome to a week of splendid news from the suburbs, towns and semi-divisions around our sunburnt land.

We start our trip around the traps in Higgins, the very leafy and very inner eastern Melbourne electorate of former treasurer Peter Costello.  In a move that could take the blue-ribbon seat a fair bit further into the blue spectrum, Sex Party candidate Fiona Patten has thrown her hat into the by-election ring. Surrounded by supporters - including an ‘adult entertainment’ actress - the Eros Foundation lobbyist launched her tilt at a trendy Prahran café.

While we’re in the southern city’s more trend-setting parts, if you’ve ever wanted to wear a dress made of living fungus, now’s your chance.  Bio-artist Donna Franklin’s Fibre Reactive dress allows the presumably apprehensive wearer the chance to experience a fungal outbreak first hand, without need of ointment.

Continue reading "Suburban tales: politics, sex, and getting stuck in school" »

The Greco-Roman wrestling is not widely remembered as one of the high points of the Sydney Olympics.

It gets squeezed out by a few other things, like Cathy Freeman winning gold in the 400m, Jane Saville breaking down upon her disqualification just metres from the finish line in the walking, the women’s water polo team robbing the Yanks on the siren, the swimmers winning pretty much everything, their sweetest victory against the cocky American men’s relay team.

Golden moments all. But it was at the Greco Roman wrestling – that gladiatorial contest where blokes called Vitek and Krysto try to give each other wedgies - where I witnessed an Olympic moment so golden it almost made me weep tears of joy at being lucky enough to have been born in this absurd and excellent little country of ours.

Continue reading "Faster, higher, awesomer at absolutely bloody everything" »

Don’t you hate Twitter? All those people, twittering away, typing all that rubbish, telling people about their lives as if any of us are interested.

As if anyone cares what they ate for lunch today or what they’re watching on TV or what they think about So You Think You Can Dance. Isn’t it just rubbish?

Of all the modern social trends I find personally offensive, Twitter has the greatest direct negative impact on my day-to-day life. All the banality. All those people being so dull.

Continue reading "A world of twittering fools dizzy on the helium of idiocy" »

Turn on the six o’clock news most days of the week and you’ll more than likely be bombarded with images of pain and despair.

It’s pretty easy to become desensitised in the journalism caper, but recently a 23-year-old quadriplegic served me a serious reality check.

Producing a talkback program comes with a healthy dose of climate change scepticism, asylum ranting and political debunking. 

Continue reading "A warning from a victim of carefree youth" »

Unless you were lucky enough to be of nightclubbing age in the 1970s it has never been cool to wear white leather shoes. Despite being akin to wearing a large sign that says “I’m a tool”, this hideous footwear has had something of a resurgence in trendy nightclubs thanks to metrosexuality.

But after a decade at the cutting edge of cool, metrosexuals have been given one clear signal they may have to go back to being ordinary blokes. Nightclub promoter Scott Mellor has chalked a line in the pavement outside a new club event in Melbourne that debuts on Friday. Beyond it, metrosexuals shall not pass.

Anthropologists might be tempted to attribute this to a socio-collectivist and culturo-genetic realisation that men are not capable of understanding manicures and shopping to the extent required to live a truly metrosexual life. But most would say metrosexuality was like platform shoes for blokes – a stupid idea in the first place – and besides, since David Beckham first dyed his tips blonde women have been clamouring that they prefer real men.

Continue reading "End of metrosexuals is a win for real equality" »

I read today that those wacky zany kids at Channel Seven are rolling out something called “Pump TV”. I thought they’d gone all naughty and were setting up a new digital porn channel, but it turns out they’re wacking in TV screens into petrol pumps.

Well that’s a great leap for mankind. You need to get a bit of Mel and Kochie action while you’re filling up at the servo. Actually Beauty and The Geek will look a whole lot better while you’re topping up the brake fluid.

How’s it going to work? Are they abridged, five-minute episodes of everything – or the time it takes to do your business and screw the cap back on? Or will we be faced with oceans of Shell V90 flooding out over the concrete Zoolander style, as motorists are totally engrossed with the latest love tryst between Dr. Rachel, Alf and Hugo on Home and Away?

Continue reading "Pump it louder: the stupid rise of the servo television" »

Recently on ABC’s Q&A panellist Todd Sampson (from The Gruen Transfer and CEO of ad agency Leo Burnett) insisted that if we do not regard racism as a serious issue in Australia “we have stuffed our heads up our butts”.

Not only are such proclamations damaging to our national spirit, they are fundamentally false. If anything, the opposite is true.

Try this experiment - something I’ve done consistently over the past decade - ask Australians from a minority background what racism they have experienced.

Continue reading "We’re not as racist as people think" »

We live in an environment where alcohol is under siege.

Every day we are assailed with stories of glassings, drunken and rampaging footballers, binge drinking and all manner of other incidents pointing to an alcohol-fuelled end of civilisation.

Every day our politicians are making new suggestions about how to solve the problem, including today’s suggestion from the Prime Minister: confronting advertising campaigns to warn young Australians about the dangers of excessive drinking.

Continue reading "Drinking less will let you drink better for longer" »

Colleges are being blamed for a culture we didn’t create. The focus is always on our worst behaviour. That’s understandable – it can get very bad, as events at Sydney University have shown.

But you can’t blame “college culture” and “tradition” - this is a youth culture which extends far past these privileged quadrangles.

The ‘tight and white’ wet t-shirt party could have been held at any backpacker hostel or suburban pub.

Continue reading "Colleges don’t cause misogyny in young men" »

The World Economic Forum recently released their 2009 Global Gender Gap Report, and unfortunately Australia has slipped markedly in the ranks over the past couple of years.

The report measures how equally the resources and opportunities of a nation are divided up between genders.

In 2006 Australia was ranked fifteenth. Now we are twentieth out of the 134 countries included in the report. The Nordic countries topped out the list with Iceland coming first, Finland second and Norway and Sweden were third and fourth respectively. New Zealand retained their position in fifth place.

Continue reading "Women by numbers: why we’re slipping on equality" »