Shopping

Last week Coles announced that it plans to cut the price of fruit and vegetables by up to 50 per cent. Its major competitor, Woolworths soon followed. The price war sounds like great news for Australian consumers. But while it may provide relief to hip-pockets around the country in the short-term, questions are now being asked about the true impact of bargain basement pricing.

For most Australians, grocery shopping is a chore we have to squeeze into our busy lives. We rush up and down the aisles, tossing products into our trolley while we mentally juggle the household budget and keep the kids entertained. With all that in mind, it’s not surprising that we embrace bargains, specials and sales with enthusiasm.

But how often do we stop to consider the impact our shopping habits have on the wider community? The truth is that someone always bears the cost of cheap produce, whether it be small retailer, distributor or farmer. It may be beneficial to our hip pocket today, but tomorrow that sale price may have untold social or environmental costs.

Continue reading "Coles, Woolies shoot each other, but farmers get shot" »

If you’re a parent, you may think the seasonal requirement to buy your children stocking-loads of plastic crap has finally come to an end.

“Phew,” you may be saying (or perhaps flatulating if you consumed one too many prune-stuffed ham fists over Chrimbo).

“At last it will be possible to enter a shopping centre without being pressured to purchase a googolplex of anatomically unsound dolls, micro vehicles and cyber pets.”

Continue reading "Christmas is over but the brats need more bratz" »

Around this time of year I usually like to write a column about the magic of Christmas. Possibly because around this time of year it usually is Christmas.

For many people, Christmas is the most joyous day of the year, which says a lot about our society. I don’t think it’s prejudiced to say that only Western European-based culture is civilised enough to celebrate the birth of a doomed baby by cutting down a tree and eating a dead animal.

Indeed, the prospect of Jesus being born just so He can be nailed to a tree in the prime of his life because the rest of us didn’t want to stop sinning makes us incredibly happy for some reason, the most likely one being that we are sadists. This would also explain Christmas shopping.

Continue reading "A learned meditation on the true meaning of Christmas" »

If you’re in a Harvey Norman store right now preparing to buy a video game, put it down. Gerry has commanded you.

The CEO of electronics chain Harvey Norman Gerry Harvey has admitted defeat and will finally be opening an online store.

But he won’t be selling fridges. Oh no. Nor will he be selling fans, or air-conditioning units, or iPods, iPads, televisions or cameras.

Continue reading "Hypocrite Harvey goes stormin’ into cyberspace" »

We keep hearing that retail sales are flat in the lead-up to Christmas. We also keep hearing that more and more people are shopping online. We are yet to understand just how much the latter is undermining the former - especially in Australia this Christmas.

You tell us. Are you spending a little less in the stores this Christmas. If so, why? Is it because you’re jittery about the global economy and how the effects may flow on down to Australia? Or are you just spending dollar for dollar online?

This we know. The cool weather in south eastern Australia is partly blamed for slow sales. Retailers are even offloading casual workers early, news.com.au reports. What else is on your mind this Thursday, Punchers?

Not enough people are applying for the job of Local Shopping Centre Santa. People are un-applying in plague proportions. Turns out being urinated on for four weeks by other peoples’ greedy brats isn’t such a hot ticket after all.

It may be that the ratio of children to deep-voiced jolly men with robust thighs is off. It could be that those that are around and available are worried about the potentially awkward and litigious practice of having children sit on your lap and ask you for presents.

Or of course for any children reading, it could be that there’s only one Santa, and he’s busy making peanut-free toys for you all at the North Pole. Probably hanging out with Jesus or something, I don’t know.

Continue reading "Ho, ho, ho! It’s a Father Christmas shortage!" »

The female bosom is rarely short of attention. High brow art. Low brow ogling. Web sites such as www.whoppin’greatboosiewahwahs.com.

While that last URL may be a tiny bit made up, we all know that the big problem with boobs is usually a surplus rather than a deficit of interest.

Which is why it’s so bizarre that it’s become so hard to find a decent bra fitter.

Continue reading "Ms Jellybonkers’ guide to backyard bra fitting" »

They’re calling it the “mother of all mega malls”. Frank Lowy’s Stratford Westfield; home to seven miles of shop windows, 300 outlets, 70 restaurants, 5,000 car spaces and 50, 000 lights.

Sounds like hell. But you’d check it out, you know you would. People love to shop.

Fast, convenient and completely mind-numbing. Shopping has become the ultimate lifestyle activity; shopping malls the modern equivalent of the town square.

Continue reading "Plastic wastelands; the mall the merrier" »

The mere thought of taking a small child to a supermarket makes me tense. I twist up like a pretzel. One is bad enough, passing through the turnstile with two or more is basically extreme sport.

I watch in awe when I see an adult with a veritable litter in and around their trolley. I try not to stare when the adult agrees to: a fistful of Wiggles toothbrushes; the laxatives that their two year old is convinced are a chocolate bar; and a Disney torch, just to keep the peace, just to keep moving.

Then, and only when the trolley is half full, the one year old has commenced imitating a car alarm and the two year old is opening the laxatives, I overhear the four year old make a most compelling and specific case for locating the bathroom instantly.

Continue reading "Don’t let your little darlings near the Kit Kat aisle" »

According to Penbo, the retail union’s anachronistic attachment to Catholic values - keep the Lord’s day holy and all that - spells trouble for the retail industry.

As a card-carrying Catholic, and a former member of (and organiser for) the shop assistants’ union, I thought it might be fair to lob a few thoughts into the mix by way of retort.

As it happens, my mum and sister run a bookshop in Sydney’s CBD (www.portico.com.au), and a mighty fine one at that, so I am no stranger to the challenges faced by retailers in the current market.

Continue reading "Families close for business when shops open longer" »

One of the joys of multiculturalism is that if you suddenly find yourself hankering for a kilogram of pork belly or some Hello Kitty stationery at 9pm on a Monday, you can head to a suburb such as Ashfield in Sydney’s west and shop until you drop.

If Australia has a restrictive shopping hours regime, someone forgot to tell our Chinese friends. In places such as Ashfield or in the many Chinatowns around the land the shops open pretty much whenever they want – which, with the work ethic that defines this excellent community, is almost all the time.

It’s a different story if you have the misfortune of landing in the centre of one of our bigger cities – worst of all Adelaide – on a public holiday weekend, only to discover that penalty rates and state-legislated restrictions on trading hours have combined to deliver a retail experience which is almost as much fun as queuing for bread in Moscow.

Continue reading "The shop must go on…" »

Shut down the Productivity Commission. There’s only one reason shopping as we know it will never die, and that’s women.

That’s right, you heard me. From the malls to the arcades, we fairer sex are the lifeblood of shopping and it will take more than a little internet habit to put us off our game.

Here’s why.

Continue reading "Half of us were born to shop" »

Dear Traditional Australian Retailers, 

Finding the right words to say at a time like this is difficult so we’re going to get straight to the point. It’s over.

Obviously it would have been preferable to tell you face-to-face rather than via one of these tacky “Dear John” letters. But it’s not like you’ve been interested in personal contact lately. Which makes this an entirely appropriate way to break the bad news that it’s not us – it’s you.

Continue reading "A letter to Australia’s traditional retailers: it’s over" »

I arrive at The Press Club on Flinders Street a little early. It’s booked solid. Another noisy night. Kara leads me to one of the quieter tables around the corner. Water will be fine, thank you.

Remarkable to think this was once the headquarters of the mighty Herald and Weekly Times. Newsroom into luxury apartments, print shop into cellar bar, foyer into modern Greek restaurant. Marvelous what you can do with some Kalamata olives and Feta drizzled with a hit television series and a celebrity chef.

Bernie Brookes makes his way to my table. The chief of Myer Holdings is all smiles. Always is. The perils of more than 30 years in retail. The last few herding shareholders. The shoulders of his dark suit are a little stooped.

Continue reading "It’ll take more than free shipping to keep customers" »

For a decade, my friend Sarah and I acted as mutual wardrobe mistresses. Every six months, I’d park myself on her bedroom floor and drink tea as she went through each item in her closet. Six months later, she’d come to mine and do the same.

It was ruthless. “If you want a vanilla life, wear vanilla clothes,” she’d tut, discarding my sensible Gap T-shirts and raising an eyebrow at the leather skirt I clung to for years despite it only fitting for one night, post-gastro and mid-love affair. In return, I’d note when her penchant for vintage lapsed from funky and charming to smelly old dead person.

One thing we never said was: “Hon, don’t you think you have enough clothes?” Why? Because we didn’t.

Continue reading "We buy half our body weight in clothes each year. Why?" »

As the Aussie dollar has surged in recent months it’s clear that those buying online from overseas websites are enjoying amazing savings as compared to buying locally from bricks and mortar retailers.

In fact, online retailing is growing at a rapid pace and will continue to do so as long as the Aussie dollar remains strong. But it isn’t just the strong Aussie dollar that’s driving the rush to overseas online retailers.

The harsh reality is that a key reason Australian bricks and mortar retailers are finding it harder and harder to compete with online retailers is that retail rents in Australia continue to rise. Australian retail rents are some of the highest in the world and that’s bad news for local retailers operating out of a major shopping centre.

Continue reading "Why you’re getting ripped off in Aussie stores" »

Sitting on my desk is a picture of a fox wearing a green jacket and pink tie. Thanks to a childhood immersed in Beatrix Potter, I’m enchanted by anthropomorphised animals (and smarty-pants words, it seems) but, mostly, I love my fox because he made me laugh.

You see, I ordered him online and he arrived this morning wrapped in recycled paper. “Hi, Angela,” said the note that came with him. “You smell nice and your hair looks great today.”

With service like that, what’s not to love about internet shopping? Plus, you do it in your pyjamas, and it’s delivered right to your door.

Continue reading "Hitting the shops has lost its shine" »

The worst place in the entire universe is any of the smoking rooms at the otherwise spotless new Hong Kong airport. In these tiny glass cells, dozens of travellers squeeze in for a desperate last puff before they fly out. If you’re foolish enough to step inside, you emerge instantly reeking of ashtray. Bleah.

As these loathsome smoky dens are to Hong Kong airport, so is the airport to the wider world. Airports themselves are captive hell holes, where we can no more escape the check-in queues, the over-inflated prices and the smug frequent flyers heading off to their poncy “lounges” than a smoker in the Hong Kong cubicle can escape the smoke cloud.

And Australian airports are among the worst, as a “leaked” survey yesterday confirmed. Leaked schmeaked. Like that was some kind of secret. Anyone could have told you our airports are shocking. All airports are shocking, even the supposedly good ones. Quite rightly, we hate airports… but not as much as we secretly love them.

Continue reading "Our secret shame: We actually love airports" »

A funny thing – actually, make that a frilly thing – happened on the way to the feminist revolution.

Just as women started to get a better deal at home, at school and in the boardroom, our girl children have been hijacked by a foe more flouncy than any which has come before.

It is the colour pink and it is being worn – probably in frothing tutu form – by a micro-Cinderella near you.

Continue reading "That old pink stereotype just won’t fade to black" »

A wander through Myer at Christmas time, usually reveals nothing more than the depth of human depravity come holiday season.  In years gone by I’ve learnt little apart from the fact that you never get between a middle aged woman and the last set of Sheridan sheets, unless you want to make a beeline for the first aid department afterwards. That is, of course, until now.

The other day I discovered that there is something else to be had at a Myer store, apart from the inevitable coronary when you add up your receipts.  An education.

In a marriage of technological advancement and the debilitating fear of litigation, Myer has brought us one step closer to no longer having to wipe our own bottoms, with the informative pamphlet: ‘Escalator Safety Information’.  The ‘Genital Herpes Facts Pack’ of the technological world.

Continue reading "Attention! Breathe in and out while using this escalator" »

Since November 1 to December 9, our household has received 121 pieces of junk mail.

Why am I counting this? Well, a few reasons. Mostly I’m interested because I used to do this sort of thing for a living. Second we live in some sort of junk mail hotspot.

When the first Christmas catalogue came out before Melbourne Cup, I remembered how many we got last year and wondered how much it was. So far: 121 pieces.

Continue reading "One woman’s junk mail is another’s goldmine" »

If you looked at the value of the Aussie dollar as a sign of our economy strength, things have never been better: since the currency was floated in 1983, it’s never reached such a high value. Here we found ourselves 27 years later practically rolling in money, with a dollar nearing parity with a value in the high 90’s.

Let’s ignore the negative for a moment, shall we? The good side of the value in our dollar obviously lies in how much our prices are going to drop – at least, that’s the way it’s supposed to go if we believe what we’re told. Sadly it seems the opposite is mostly the case.

As luck would have it though, the modern age has found a way around that, as it’s now much cheaper and easier than ever for you to go on the internet and purchase anything you’d like at cheaper prices overseas, thereby bypassing the expensive Australian retailers.

Continue reading "Where to cash in on the strong Aussie dollar" »

Ikea dearest, I remember the excitement as your latest tome plopped into my letterbox with the all the promise of how shiny, organised and streamlined my life would be if I married my dollars to your flat-pack.

I enter your hallowed halls with expectations and delight, with wonderment in your innovations and pleasure in your primary colours.

Seven hours later, I emerged with the truth from the ‘Seventh Circle of Hell’ you call a store, the veil of infatuation torn from my eyes; having been funneled like a drugged lemming through your maze-like halls amidst aisles of numbered items and towers of indecipherably coded boxes.

Continue reading "Hell has been franchised and it’s hiding in the suburbs" »

Six more IKEA stores might sound like a bad thing - particularly if you’re the sort that doesn’t enjoy its giant maze-like outlets - but rival retailers may be secretly pleased the furniture giant is expanding.

Like retail remora fish, these smaller retailers make a living feeding off the Swedish DIY’s back, even as it devours a juicy chunk of the homewares market.

And the key is our instatiable desire to beautify our nests, combined with the sheer drawing power of IKEA.

Continue reading "The IKEA honey trap and why we love it" »

Have you been getting excited at the rise of the Aussie dollar? Well, you should be. Of course, those planning an overseas trip will be particularly excited. A strong Aussie dollar gets you more foreign currency to spend on that overseas holiday. The benefits of a stronger Aussie dollar, however, should not stop there.

All Australian consumers should be getting excited as the Aussie dollar surges upwards. Why? For the simple reason that all imported products should now be much cheaper.

The economics is simple. Just like a strong Aussie dollar buys you more foreign currency when you go overseas, a strong Aussie dollar means importers can ordinarily buy foreign products at effectively lower prices.

Continue reading "The great import rip-off: why isn’t everything cheaper?" »

Dubai was, for me, one of those places that held an almost mythical appeal. Never one to shy away from retail therapy in fairly healthy doses, I had imagined the Emirates jewel to be a heavenly oasis filled with cool, crisp shopping centres, stocking anything and everything you could possibly need. Okay, want.

There would be miles and miles of clothes, shoes and accessories ready to be snapped up by those eager to sate their consumerist urges. The odd sale, too, to tantalise the bargain hunter within, each store complete with kind and considerate multi-lingual assistants waiting to produce anything your heart desires in an instant.

Well, having arrived in Dubai for the first time recently I can confirm - I was 100 percent right.

Continue reading "Postcard from Dubai, where shopping has no soul" »

It’s taken a few tests but I’ve finally figured out why it’s so hard to watch the new Kmart ad without grimacing. Have you seen it? It’s the one where an attractive young mum pushes a stroller through Kmart with one hand, balances a two-year old on her hip and talks on her mobile phone with the other, while the older child (my guess about five years of age?) runs ahead of her. 

Cue super helpful Kmart guy who comes to the rescue, somehow managing to both read her mind and reach for the most hard-to-get kettle on the shelf, deposit it into the hands of the renegade five year old and not for a single second interrupt the woman’s phone-call. 

The result, a wonderfully apt depiction of all the things that drive me nuts about shopping centres, specifically supermarkets and the pesky little habits they bring out in even the best of people.

Continue reading "Don’t bring your kids and other supermarket rules" »

The so-called “festive season” needs a new name. 

Because as it stands right now with it’s smug connotations of happiness, relaxation and general mirth-it’s terrifically misleading.

Take for instance, this incident one night last week.

Continue reading "Five ways to make Aussie Christmas better" »

With struggling Aussie families paying consistently more for their food and groceries than other developed countries we need to take a long hard look at what’s causing the problem.

First, compare Australia to other OECD countries and there is one fact that jumps out. Australia has one of the most highly concentrated grocery sectors in the developed world.

Just two players – Coles and Woolworths – control 87% of supermarkets over 2000 square metres. They are increasing their share of fresh food, liquor, petrol and now hardware. Their tentacles spread to mobile phones, banking services and electronics. They own enough poker machines to put Las Vegas Casinos to shame.

Continue reading "We need action not excuses from the supermarket duopoly" »

It’s easy to lay the blame of rising food prices at the feet of the large retailers and it also makes for a sexy, albeit misguided, headline. The easy target is often the large target, but if you strip the emotion out of this debate and look at the facts, its clear there isn’t much of a story in it at all.

It is true food costs more than it did 10 years ago. Like other products and services including education, healthcare, the cost of living increases over time, but so do wages. Australian private sector earnings have risen by nearly 51 per cent since 2000.

Australia’s real growth in wages is the second highest of 10 developed nations. But you won’t see critics talk about this when they talk about food prices. It ruins the hot headline.

Continue reading "The real facts about food prices spoil a good yarn" »

It’s no doubt a mark of my innate stoicism that I have until this point lived mostly happily without the benefit of The Remote Controlled Beverage Buggy ™.

Fortunately the Sky Mall catalogue alerted me to the life-enhancing possibility of having liquid refreshments “secured” in a miniature dune buggy’s mounted drink holders and ferried from the fridge without me having to move a muscle aside from thumbing the console commands.

Candidly the catalogue does note the one potential flaw in this scheme, that the “willing accomplice is not included”. Luckily I am married so getting the Beverage Buggy restocked for frequent journeys back to the couch should prove no problem.

Continue reading "Fill the void with a remote-controlled beverage system" »

In the run up to Father’s Day the electrical stores are spruiking like it’s Christmas. You can be sure that along with any of the hot deals from digital cameras to TVs will come one innocent –sounding question.

At the very point of sale when you’re about to hand over the cash for dad’s gift you’ll be asked “Would you like an extended warranty with that?”

It sounds simple enough. An few extra years’ “protection” for a hundred bucks or so, depending on the price of the item.

Continue reading "Are we being served? The rort of extended warranties" »

If this is true, the man involved is either hysterically funny or he needs to see a doctor. Enjoy.

Hat-tip to digg.

I’m a slave to fashion, I admit. Working in the industry has let me indulge my unhealthy obsession up till now, but because of the GFC, I, like most other women, have had the incredibly boring task of cutting back.

Cue recession dressing. Or if you want to get technical, dressing like a Recessionista (noun: a resourceful woman who’s great at updating her look while spending a minimal amount of money).

There are many ways to do this. Inventive and fun ways. Cheap ways. Exciting ways. The best ways for most women of course, involve spending money on stuff we don’t need so we can justify it by saying we’re actually saving money in the long run. “Sure, they were $300, but I’m going to wear them 50 times, so that’s only $6 per wear. Cheaper than the op shop.”

But my new fave has to be that women, out of sheer necessity and financial conundrum, have created an entirely different category of clothing to add to our fashion arsenal: Leggings.

Continue reading "Recession dressing: who needs pants anyway?" »