Rob Oakeshott

Some years ago the ABC ran an excellent program called Bush Mechanics documenting the amazing resourcefulness of indigenous car nuts in the most remote parts of Australia. These guys have no access to car parts but keep their bombs on the road by stuffing blown tyres full of tightly wound spinifex, using pieces of wood as chassis parts, old pipes as steering columns and so forth.

I was reminded of this program while watching Julia Gillard outline her thinking on the scandalised MPs Craig Thomson and Peter Slipper. Whatever reasons Ms Gillard offers for the line Thomson has apparently crossed which now requires his suspension from the ALP, and for Slipper standing aside as speaker amid criminal claims of rorting and civil claims of sexual harassment, the popular take on her predicament is that this the prime minister is desperately trying to keep a clapped-out bomb of a government on the road. Like the bush mechanics, Ms Gillard has been flailing about for months using almost anything to keep her hands on the steering wheel of government.

At almost every turn – most notably with the supposedly genius idea of luring the shonky Slipper away from the Coalition with the promise of the speakership – she has ended up crashed in a ditch, wheels spinning madly.

Continue reading "Will the creators of this government now destroy it" »

Tony Abbott is playing hard in his bid for power, but Malcolm Turnbull might offer his colleagues a more elegant solution.

In what appeared to be an orchestrated ratchetting up of hostilities this week, senior Coalition figures, one after the other, likened Julia Gillard, courtesy of her backflip on a carbon price (by her own admission, “effectively a tax”) to the murderous and delusional Libyan dictator, Colonel Muammar Gaddafi.

Intemperate? Certainly. But it was typical of a febrile atmosphere currently gripping Canberra. The personal vitriol directed at Ms Gillard is now extreme and she has responded in kind, accusing Tony Abbott of baiting on the race issue.

Continue reading "The Turnbull longshot that could stop the nasty rhetoric" »

The other night after playing cards I started thumbing absent-mindedly through the notebook we were using to keep score. It contained a combination of shorthand notes and a few fully-written words and phrases which at first blush made no sense.

“Juicy and sexy.”  “Wicked dilemma.”  “Wow of a time.” 

And: “Big swear jar (=no mandate).”  The brackets signified that the words “no mandate” were my own and not a quote. I had also scribbled the words “10 mins – Gwyneth Paltrow?” in another pair of brackets and initially could not remember why.

Continue reading "Julia and her wacky mates are failing the sunshine test" »

Friday night Joe Hockey headed for the NSW central coast town of Harrington to sub for a voiceless Alan Jones, the broadcaster, at a National Party fundraiser .

The coming state election was on his mind and in his speech, but even more so was the local federal member, the independent MP for Lyne Rob Oakeshott.

Hockey got his biggest reaction when he said that, unlike Oakeshott, he would not be growing a beard. The reason, he said, was he had nothing to hide.

Continue reading "Oakeshott best prepare for some hairy debate" »

At this time of year, the Australian political junkie is in a state of melancholy induced by the end of parliament and politically associated TV shows like QandA, Insiders and Lateline.

Sometimes the weight of these melancholic feelings are of such significance that the political junkie may begin to ask, in typical political terms, “should I give the game away?”.

If you are asking yourself this question, I suggest it would be most prudent for you to commission the committee of your brain and soul to conduct a cost-benefit analysis on whether you should continue moving forward with politics, or begin to move away from it, in 2011.

Continue reading "A cost benefit analysis of an Australian political junkie" »

The new paradigm has begun to play mind games with our federal MPs. Yesterday nobody was quite sure what was expected of them. At times it was a little embarrassing to watch, like some awkward kid consistently dancing out of time at the Rock Eisteddfod

Manager of Opposition Business and chief prosecutor in the case of Gillard v the BER Christopher Pyne copped the worst of it. Pyne didn’t ask for a division on a vote that would have forced a judicial inquiry into the Government’s BER spending. A vote the Coalition lost. Awkward.

No matter, Pyne plans to introduce his bill into the Senate after a session with the choreographer on Thursday afternoon.

Continue reading "The Punch answers the questions of confused MPs" »

The question of whether city or country is best has been an ongoing debate for a long time. I heard it often as I worked in Brisbane for thirty years and prior to that as I lived and worked in various regional, rural and remote locations in Queensland for extended periods.

In the 1200’s Marco Polo a merchant and great traveller declared cities were best. For twenty-four years Polo journeyed to and from Venice to China along the Great Silk Road. On his travels he encountered many great cities including Constantinople, Baghdad and Beijing and he realised that cities were far more important to the economy of the Silk Road than the country areas through which it passed.

In 2010 in Australia the independent federal politicians are about to “turbo-charge” regional and rural Australia according to their spokesperson Rob Oakeshott. They have secured a new $10 billion regional investment fund in return for their votes and they seek to prove Marco Polo’s assessment wrong. For them the country is at least as important as the city.

Continue reading "Fixing the failed state that is regional Australia" »

There was a moment in last night’s brilliant episode of 4 Corners that might have undermined Tony Windsor and Rob Oakeshott’s argument the whole filming exercise was about posterity.

As the deliberations over the hung parliament arrived at absolute crunch time Bob Katter got uncomfortable with the ABC camera and said he would rather the crew left the office where he was meeting with his fellow regional independents.

But Windsor and Oakeshott had other ideas. You can watch the whole episode here.

Continue reading "Recording a moment in history or self indulgence?" »

After a bruising election campaign and an outbreak of acrimony over forming government and the Speaker and Deputy Speaker, MPs and Senators combined yesterday for what looked like a cross between high colonial ceremony and a day of awkward team-building exercises.

“Parliament: the day in pictures” isn’t always a theme for the most compelling set of images, which underlines just how hard the political photographers have to work to get something interesting to illustrate the news. But the pictures from yesterday’s opening of the 43rd Parliament merit it. Just take the first shot above of the new member for Bennelong, John Alexander, being sworn in with his mascot the youngest MP ever elected, the new member for Longman, Wyatt Roy.

Below are some of the other choice shots from News Ltd photographers Ray Strange, Gary Ramage and Kym Smith from around Parliament House yesterday. They’re numbered for easy reference so you can add your captions and quote suggestions in the comments below.

Continue reading "Parliament opening day photos: your commentary" »

So there I was last week listening to the radio and on came Rob Oakeshott with the most intriguing news.

According to the Port Macquarie-based Independent: “I come from an area of Australia where people look at each other in the eye and tell the truth.”

I’ve got to see this place! I thought to myself. So I booked a ticket in search of this magical land that was apparently so unlike the rest of Australia.

Continue reading "Oakeshott country: where people tell the truth, mostly" »

If the Australian people were faced with the prospect of this weekend’s AFL grand final not going ahead because neither team could agree on the umpire, this nation could be faced with a level of social unrest that could force East Timor to come to our aid. Fortunately this crisis only goes to whether our Parliament can sit or not so it will be fine.

With the decision by Tony Abbott not to honour parts an agreement on parliamentary reform we are still faced with a speakerless House of Representatives, and now the awkward question of whether we’ll return for Parliament next week or not.

There are a couple of things to consider about Abbott’s decision and Gillard’s reaction to it. Needless to say it’s all about concern for political hides rather than anything to do with parliamentary reform. 

Continue reading "So should we call Parliament off next Tuesday?" »

As is the custom for a Speaker of the House Harry Jenkins yesterday welcomed new members of Parliament with a quote from the British band Chumbawamba: “I get knocked down, I get up again, you are never going to keep me down.” Amen.

It was sound advice, and considering the nature of the new paradigm, we can soon expect a private members bill that would make the playing of Tubthumping compulsory before each Question Time so we can “get into the mood” for democracy.

But perhaps a few others should have joined the speakers list with cautionary tales of what not to do. Here are some interesting topics that could’ve made quite the Power Point presentations for the new kids:

Just a lot of advice from Peter Slipper

Continue reading "The old lessons new MPs should be taught" »

To all those in the The Punch community who wanted – needed – to believe in the ‘New Paradigm’ politics: sorry, we told you so.

In order to gain the Speakership of our Parliament, one of the Independents will have to consider deciding and neutralising his vote on any issue before it is debated in the chamber. Goodbye quaint notion of MPs working together to discern the national interest through rational parliamentary dialogue. Goodbye the New Naïveté.

In the end, the Independents, like most politicians, believe that everything will be better if only they hold the power. This Independent is after the power of the Speakership, because only he can be trusted with the power of the new paradigm.

Continue reading "Farewell new paradigm, we hardly knew you" »

Speaker of the House of Representatives Harry Jenkins is a bit of a Punch Question Time Live favourite, with his school master tone and ever-developing sense of humour.

And now he has a new fan - Opposition Leader Tony Abbott. It was reported yesterday Julia Gillard couldn’t get away from Jenkins fast enough when he bailed her up in Aussies Cafe at Parliament House.

She seems more keen to indulge the increasingly lofty ambitions of Independent Rob “this isn’t about some out-of-control ego” Oakeshott , which must be driving Jenkins a bit mad. According to Gillard, Oakeshott has the “skills and attributes” necessary for the tricky parliamentary role. But this morning Abbott backed up the Labor stalwart.

Continue reading "When friends are enemies and enemies friends" »

The prospect of Rob Oakeshott becoming speaker is not one that should surprise any of us.

Firstly, anyone who saw the final painfully long press conference at which he announced support for Labor should know the independent MP is getting pretty used to all this attention. If that performance is anything to go by, we may need to add a few extra rules to the parliamentary reforms that stipulates time limits on the speaker’s responses. This may be the first Parliament that allows MPs to tell the speaker to keep his answers brief.

Secondly Oakeshott sees himself as the embodiment of the new political paradigm he loves to talk about. He is its self declared messiah and the speaker role is a good position from which to preach to the masses.

Continue reading "Mr Speaker, can you please get to the point" »

MONDAY 06/09/10

6:00am

Mobile rings. Gravelly voice says “It’s the devil”. Ask Bill Heffernan why he is calling at such an ungodly hour? Bill shocked I guessed it was him. Remind Bill he’s called me before and that picture of the devil comes up when he calls.

Ask Bill why he still does this?

Heffernan says he can’t help being a prankster. AND has had a lot of time on his hands since the Kirby ‘prank’.

Bill has never been funny.

Lunchtime

Joyce charges into office, demands $1 billion for veterinary hospital in his electorate. Slams signed declaration on desk that states he will not support Coalition if demand isn’t met. Ask Joyce who he will support.

Continue reading "Diary of a Liberal Frontbencher: End game" »

For all the giddy talk about new paradigms and the renewal of democracy, there’s every chance that this Parliament could end up looking more like an episode of The Office than a functional and productive political assembly.

In a campaign where marketing psychobabble often took centre-stage, it’s only appropriate that, moving forward, the result itself take us further down the path towards the proactive and the inclusive - where instead of just making decisions, it’s now the primary job of parliament to facilitate dialogue and discourse, even to re-open the discussion of issues not remotely on the minds of the 85 per cent of the population which voted for either of the major parties.

Things got off to an inauspicious start when the man who wants ministerial answers limited to three minutes took a full seventeen to address the relatively simple question of whether he was supporting Labor or the Coalition.

Continue reading "The proactive new world of Australian politics" »

Despite it being the dawn of the Sunshine Parliament, Julia Gillard is going to have to make some decisions about her cabinet based very much on the darker and drearier realities of the last Government.

Between former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd, former Prime Ministerial backstabbers and powerbrokers in Mark Arbib and Bill Shorten and Robb “this could go on for a while yet” Oakeshott, Julia Gillard is faced with political equivalent of a surgical face transplant in a NSW public hospital.

Heres are a few people and portfolios that are going to leave the Prime Minister with some headaches:

Kevin Rudd

He’s not so much the elephant in the room as he is an erudite 200 kilogram, opera singing multi lingual gorilla in the room that regularly supplies analysis for the six o’clock news. Queensland was apparently upset that he got dumped as PM, but as he never really seemed to disappear so it’s unclear why they were so upset.

Continue reading "Gillard’s big cabinet headaches" »

Bob Brown should be first to chip in to Rob Oakeshott’s swear jar which the independent MP says needs topping up any time someone says the Labor government has a mandate.

The Greens leader appeared to contradict Oakeshott when he wrestled with the mandate question on Lateline last night. Asked what he thought of the member for Lyne’s view that the Gillard government shouldn’t be claiming to have a mandate, Brown replied:

Well it’s got - we got a proportional mandate, and it’s got the biggest mandate amongst the make-up of government, ah, and it’s certainly now got a stronger mandate than the Coalition.

Continue reading "Watch it, sunshine" »

Political staffer: “Hey Rob I’m just going to the parliamentary canteen, did you want the pasta or the salad roll?”

Rob Oakeshott: “Well, look. I mean, yikes. I’m not pretending this is easy. It’s been line ball, a points decision, six to one half a dozen the other, it really could go either way, in fact it’s going right down to the wire. I mean, I like pasta. I like it a lot. Over the years I have eaten a lot of pasta, it’s, you know, it’s a carbohydrate, and you can have it with a variety of sauces. 

But then I really like salad rolls. I’ve eaten a lot of salad rolls in my time too. And weighing it up on balance I have to say that I’m kind of torn. The question I have been asking myself is what is the pasta going to provide? I want more than just sustenance, I don’t just want to eat for the sake of eating, I think what we really need at this point of time, that is, lunch time, is a whole new way of eating.

Continue reading "Day one of democracy’s new dawn: Oakeshott gets lunch" »

Put My Way on the karaoke machine. It’s the end of the night and the sun is coming up on a new government - a Labor minority government, to be precise. If you’re a bit of a political tragic having followed the campaign and its surreal denouement, tomorrow you might wake up feeling as if someone has died.

But conversely if you don’t care - and many normal people don’t seem to have given a hoot, in fact being politically rudderless has been a subject of some mirth - you might feel as if that irritating but really fun friend of yours has just left town. Anyway here’s The Punch’s list of our favourite shark-jumping and oddball moments of the 2010 campaign. Add yours in the comments, and we might build out the list. Let’s start with today’s silliness:

1. Rob Oakeshott’s speech announcing who he would support: Really, could he actually have drawn it out any longer? He started with a list of thank-yous that made it seem like he was accepting an Oscar, then proceeded with a meandering justification of his decision that prompted Laurie Oakes to wonder if we would be here another fortnight. But in the end said he would support Julia Gillard in helping Labor form a minority government.

Continue reading "Goodbye campaign 2010, we’ll miss you" »

Just when it looked like the prospect of a hung Parliament had taken us to a new paradigm of political discourse, where nice trumps nasty and diversity of opinion is respected, the public has sent a clear message: enough already!

After railing against stage-managed elections, two weeks of introspection and pandering to the wishes of non-aligned members has the public calling for a recommencement of hostilities.

According to this week’s Essential Report, a majority of voters want a new election – and even more (70 per cent) believe a new poll is inevitable.

Continue reading "10 reasons we want to go back to the polls" »

A hung parliament is a golden opportunity for serious reform. The independents should not waste their extraordinary power on ephemeral trivia such as the black holes issue. (This is essentially about whether Treasury’s long term predictions are reliable. They are not.)

They should do something for which they will be immortalised in the nation’s pantheon. They should propose fundamental reform to our system of government, making it more democratic.

Why do the people have to wait three or four years to pass judgement on a failed government?  Why shouldn’t they block a law they do not like?

Continue reading "Trivial independents miss chance at making history" »

Did anyone else choke on their breakfast cereal hearing Rob Oakeshot demand party discipline from the Liberal leadership to protect him from ‘rogue’ MPs? This from a guy who wants us to believe that unwillingness to be bound by a party room is the defining virtue of a good local MP.

There’s been a lot of naive commentary about how having independents control our Parliament would be good for democracy. Here’s a realist perspective on what a Parliament with a decline in the dominant two-party political setting would look like.

First prediction: the weaker the discipline that the strong two-party setting imposes, the greater the influence would be of lobbyists. We need only look to the effect the weaker party discipline of the Republicans and Democrats in the US has on American politics to back this prediction.

Continue reading "Vote Independent? Not if you believe in democracy" »

This afternoon The Punch has obtained a new list of demands from the three men that hold the nation’s government in their hands:

Dear Ms Gillard and Mr Abbott,

We three independents, Rob Oakeshott, Bob Katter and Tony Windsor, who are now officially acting on behalf of every Australian voter have been impressed with the progress made in negotiations to form a Government thus far, but have decided our initial seven point plan was lacking some flair. In that spirit we demand the following in for the sake of Australian democracy: 

1. Bob Katter wants a new pony and a lone ranger outfit

Continue reading "10 new demands from the three independents" »

Meet Jackie Healy Rae. If Irish politics has a Bob Katter, it’s him. Like the member for Kennedy, he’s a rural independent and disaffected former member of an established party, who trades on his commitment to fighting for the peculiar concerns of his local constituents.

The parallels between Katter now and Healy Rae when he was first elected are as striking as their respective signature hats. The 1997 Irish general election produced a hung parliament in which the conservative coalition fell just short of a majority. Healy Rae was one of three independents who agreed to put old enmities aside and support the government in parliament. In return he extracted concessions for his constituents.

On the surface it’s all standard horse-trading, but there’s a murkier side that would be unwelcome in the Australian context. It has never been precisely clear what Healy Rae was promised in return for his support. And since 2007 Healy Rae has been propping up his old party again, under a deal which he openly says is none of the public’s business, thank you very much.

Continue reading "Heard the one about the Irish MP who promised stability?" »

Someone forgot to tell Julia Gillard yesterday that the ballot boxes have closed.

The Prime Minister gave a long press conference in which she made a pitch to the three men who could decide who forms government, Independents Bob Katter, Tony Windsor and Rob Oakeshott. The problem is, it sounded a lot like the pitch she’s been making to voters every day for the past five weeks.

What both she and Tony Abbott need to realise is that the slogans they repeated with mind-numbing intensity during the campaign are part of the reason we’ve ended up with with a hung parliament.

Continue reading "Cut the crap, independents tell Gillard and Abbott" »