Relationships
I’ve been labouring under the false assumption that it’s the fundamentalists, the right wing conservatives standing in the way of gay marriage. Not so. Or not completely.

I now know that there’s a vast spread of middle-of-the-road Australians scared shitless by anything even slightly unconventional when it comes to weddings. They’re everywhere, they’re clinging to tradition with every fibre of their morally indignant being, and they cross into every population group.
There’s enough of them out there who get their full-sized briefs in a knot over non-church weddings to make it clear they’ll never tolerate same-sex unions.
Continue reading "It’s your special day, but you’re married to the mob" »
As someone who has never been proposed to, but been married twice, I have never received or been given a St Valentine’s Day gift.
Clearly blokes have found other ways of communicating with me. Does it bother me? No. I dispensed with the pretence of caring a long time ago.
Valentine’s Day is for women who like pink, have a teddy collection on their bed, fluffy slippers, and speak, [read ‘whine’] with little girl voices well past puberty.
Continue reading "How many root points will you score on Valentines Day?" »
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Shinsengumi says:
lol love ur work Eric; humor trumps harpy every time Read more »
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Bill says:
And who taught women to play this game? Say what you think! Don’t play bs mind games… Read more »
There’s been much ado about love over the past week. And that’s quite apart from speculation over whether or not Brad and his wacky old-man beard might be reuniting with Jennifer Aniston.

Debate has been stirred around the world courtesy of the book ‘Marry Him: the Case for Settling for Mr Good Enough’, by American writer Lori Gottlieb, to be released in the United States this week.
In it, Gottlieb - who is 42 and the single mother of a child conceived via sperm donation - holds herself up as a cautionary tale: if you cling to the (unrealistic) ideal of finding Mr Right, you may end up all alone.
Continue reading "Should women accept a guy who’s just good enough?" »
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James says:
Geez I thought I was a bastard, the venom on this blog is melting my monitor. Relationships are not a blood sport it is supposed to be the fun bit of life, would it kill you lot to be a bit nicer to each other. Read more »
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Rebecca says:
Barx: obviously your idea of ‘the embodiment of joy’ is very self centered. Read more »
Tony Abbott is perfectly entitled to his view as an individual - and as the father of three teenage girls - as to whether women should have sex before they are married.

But as the alternative prime minister, the danger for Abbott is that any airing of his private views will sound like a generalised public call for the women of Australia to keep themselves nice.
This is exactly what has happened – not just with the predictable attacks from sworn enemies such as Julia Gillard, but across blog sites and the twittersphere from politically ambivalent women have interpreted Abbott’s statement as an unwelcome free lecture.
Continue reading "Tony’s virginity troubles and the danger of being honest" »
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jayne says:
DarrenWell if i was a political figure and asked in an interview i would of said thats a personal choice and decline the request to comment. im not knocking him, just want to say he should stick to his career views instead of private matters. Read more »
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David Ready says:
Tony Abbott said, quite openly and quite honestly, what he would tell his own daughters (not anybody else’s), IF ASKED. Tony Abbott doesn’t have sons. What do you want from politicians, for them not to say anything when interviewed on a personal level? I’d rather be known as a “right-wing… Read more »
Another happy-go-lucky Hollywood production is out about infidelity: ‘It’s Complicated’. It may even win the star of the movie an academy award.

I don’t want to rain on Merryl Streep’s parade, but what’s not complicated is fidelity to your partner and kids.
There are two simple rules – your marriage matters more than nearly everything else, and if you are a parent, be a parent.
Continue reading "What’s not complicated about marriage and family" »
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H of SA says:
Nice to know we don’t disagree all the time hey Phil? Ha ha, most likely it would take a very special lack of self reflection and remarkable life experience for any of us to be wrong and or not in agreement 100% of the time. I guess thats one of… Read more »
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Steve says:
@Lisa “In any case, marriage happens well after sexual experience has begun, ... ... the idea of saving ‘your best’ for marriage has gone. Women are now expected to provide their best before marriage, to prove themselves worthy of the crown.” A true friendship must be built on mutual respect.… Read more »
This week I stood by two long time friends as one of them was euthanized.

It followed a “tough conversation” I had recently with the human friend after witnessing the canine friend’s decline in recent months.
I had called up first and asked permission to discuss the topic. “When it is my turn with [my cat] Mikki I want you to be objective,” I told my friend.
Continue reading "How to support your friends when their pets are fading" »
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Tim says:
Kate - Your article and other readers comments of support, their experiences & their kind messages reminds me of my own treasured 4 legged companions I have loved throughout my life. I did finish with a heavy heart & feel very sorry for all the heartache felt by so many.… Read more »
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Elle says:
I’ve had dogs and cats all my life and so have said goodbye to more than one. It never gets any easier, but the decision to call it when their suffering reaches a certain point does get clearer. I have also been told the ‘don’t regret leaving it too late’… Read more »
WHILE the world has been stewing over greenhouse gases and the impact of climate change at Copenhagen, the steamy affairs of Tiger Woods have been fogging up computer screens as every day more details of his antics off the green are revealed.

Since being hurt in a mystery car crash just over two weeks ago, the golf superstar’s torrid string of girlfriends has provided a steady diet of sex and athletic prowess to tantalise readers more than any Mills and Boon novel.
What has been just as fascinating is how Tiger’s reported extra-curricular activities have polarised comments on online news sites. The saga appears to have triggered a gender divide among many readers.
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daz says:
Studies show that around 75% of married people cheat so 3 out of 4 comments on this page are hypocritical BS. And Jed, pick any female celebrity and you’ll see your theory in practice. How do you see female celebrities? Paragons of virtue? Read more »
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Luigi says:
Maybe Elin thinks just being blond and pretty is enough. Read more »
Enough with Tiger’s mistresses and their predictable push-up bras and mini skirts. Give me Mrs Woods!

While others have been marvelling at The Big T’s ability to juggle so many, many, many extra marital affairs, I’ve been sweating on what Elin is going to wear at her first public appearance.
After all, it’s The Wife’s post-scandal outfit that sets the post-scandal agenda. It lets the world know exactly what kind of woman she is. Wants to be. Will be. At least in the press.
Continue reading "Fashion for the jilted: the post-adultery dress" »
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kanye macleod says:
I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger, but she ain’t going with no broke bro…..(or a good looking bro, or a bro who has anything interesting to say). Read more »
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6clegs says:
To Joseph Logan @ 12.05: Does your wife know about all your affairs? Mr, if you’re not married/in a Partnership then your “boast’’ is quite irrelevant. If Tiger had kept it in his pants his saint like reputation might still be tact. If cheating on a wife is okay, then… Read more »
When Demi Moore was quoted a few weeks ago in W magazine saying “I’d rather be called a puma than a cougar,” I was at first quite pleased. Somehow, puma seemed a nicer name (cougar, to me, sounds as cringeworthy as nails scratching on a blackboard) and I hoped it would catch on.
But after some digesting, it dawned on me that calling women who go out with younger men ‘pumas’ isn’t any more flattering. A puma is still a wild animal who feeds on innocent prey – which is where the term cougar comes from – and is just as offensive.
Demi Moore, shame on you for thinking a prettier word will make you feel better. Besides, it’s not going to catch on. Unfortunately, the cougar is here to stay.
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Andrew says:
Good on these ladies for knocking heels with younger guys. As it has been mentioned, men have been doing since the dawn of time. As long as it is consensual then it’s game on in my book! In the process it might just teach some of the younger guys how… Read more »
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marley says:
As ChrisG says, pumas are cougars. Just different names for the same animals. Interesting, though, why are women called cougars while their male counterparts are wolves? Maybe this is a sign of female equality after all - everyone can be denigrated equally!! Read more »
ALMOST 70 per cent of men say that a woman’s face is much more important than her breasts, legs or figure, a Punch survey of male attitudes on female body image has found.

And almost two-thirds of men believe that women spend far too much time worrying about their appearance, and should spend less time fretting about what men think - because you are all much hotter than you think you are.
The Punch has today assembled this special package of pieces about female body image through the eyes of blokes. Much of it is framed around our 100-man survey, but also includes columnist Joe Hildebrand talking about his love of fat chicks and former Zoo Weekly online editor Chris Deal’s essay on why men are as dumb as you probably suspect they are.
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Drew (Darlinghurst) says:
Women…..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz BORING im Camp as Christmas. Read more »
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Carol says:
Yeah, right. From what I’ve experienced, looks are the more important factor for men. Men will pick the Playboy bunny before Time’s Woman of the Year. Personality is always secondary. Read more »
Are you gonna take me home tonight?
Ah down beside that red firelight?
Are you gonna let it all hang out?
Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin’ world go round. - Queen, 1978
My name’s Joe Hildebrand and I like fat chicks.* My best friend Byron likes fat chicks. My other best friend Matt likes fat chicks. My other best friend Darrin is actually fat himself. Even Queen likes fat chicks, and they’re all gay.
Yet fat chicks seem to think that nobody likes them at all.
Continue reading "Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin’ world go round" »
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fascalongxce says:
http://my.telegraph.co.uk/v5gbf7zxebd v5gbf7zxebd | v5gbf7zxebd http://my.telegraph.co.uk/fibd6krhvwp fibd6krhvwp | fibd6krhvwp http://my.telegraph.co.uk/7a4ngppjg9m 7a4ngppjg9m | 7a4ngppjg9m http://mipagina.univision.com/fascalongxcel1978 fascalongxcel1978 | fascalongxcel1978 http://www.pyzam.com/profile/3334650 siopracenin1979 | siopracenin1979 http://mipagina.univision.com/brinposnake1972 brinposnake1972 | brinposnake1972 http://my.telegraph.co.uk/nto6l2a571h nto6l2a571h | nto6l2a571h http://mipagina.univision.com/riomenake1980 riomenake1980 | riomenake1980 http://www.pyzam.com/profile/3334657 ciesletlipat1971 | ciesletlipat1971 http://mipagina.univision.com/mandeterdi1975 mandeterdi1975 | mandeterdi1975 http://mipagina.univision.com/gicomumu1981 gicomumu1981 | gicomumu1981 http://mipagina.univision.com/capmataharm1979 capmataharm1979 | capmataharm1979 http://www.pyzam.com/profile/3334659 rasektlista1985… Read more »
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bigmumma says:
i liked this, i enjoyed reading it and it made me feel a little more confident about the way i look, i am 20 years old and i am a size 22, i have been a big girl all my life and i hate the way guys always take digs… Read more »
A little known fact I like to trot out at feminist rallies and family gatherings is that I use to work for the esteemed gentlemen’s periodical, Zoo Weekly magazine. Officially my title was Online Editor, but unofficially it was You Tube surfer and talker to the hottest chicks planet earth has ever produced.

Sadly my tenure at the Encyclopaedia Tit-tanica was brief, and a decision that to the male ego sounds like the frothy rantings of a mad man. In bloke-speak the phrase “I quit a job at Zoo Weekly” roughly translates to “I’m a frightful shirtlifter, pass the amyl and pump up the Right Said Fred”.
But after I’ve stopped trying to use my penis for a brain, not only is the fleshy mirage of life at a lad’s mag revealed, but so too are a few finer points of the deluded male mind.
Continue reading "Men: we really are as dumb as you think" »
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Ally says:
So it turns out Megan Fox is engaged again… Does that put her in the “other” file now?!? heh. Read more »
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Ms A says:
Good luck Country Mum. I hope you find the happiness that you deserve. Read more »
These are the raw numbers for the female body image survey.
1. Which of these physical qualities do you value most highly in a woman?
A.) Pretty face 68
B.) Great breasts 8
C.) Nice legs 8
D.) Perfect fat-free figure 16
Continue reading "This girl looks normal: The 100 man body image survey" »
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Lisa says:
I agree that this girl is gorgeous. I would much rather look like her than the way I do, I am one of those “skinny wannabes” I am skinny, slim hipped, flat chested and and there is nothing I can do about it. it’s how I’m built. I feel pressure… Read more »
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Lisa says:
The thing about models is that they are not selected to represent ‘sexual woman’. They are, like jockeys, selected to do a job: show the clothes off properly. IRL they can look rather peculiar, being incredibly tall and even odd-looking. Like Francis, who wrote on Mia’s blog: I think Penbo’s… Read more »
Note: For the background to this piece read SA Treasurer Kevin Foley’s unprompted tell-all interview here.
Regardless of whether you think Kevin Foley is a good bloke and a talented treasurer, or a boofhead and an economic incompetent, only the most flint-hearted observer could watch his unravelling this week and not feel some empathy for the man.

In order to succeed in the often horrible business of politics, politicians must almost dehumanise themselves – that is, they must think through everything they do, what they say, how they dress, who they are friends with, how they choose to spend their limited free time, because everything they do has potential political ramifications.
Right down to the level of getting your partner and kids to put on their glad rags for the glossy mailout you send out to 20,000-odd households once every four years, projecting yourself as the very epitome of domestic bliss.
Continue reading "The politician mugged by his own humanity" »
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Taperoo High boy says:
I always thought he was a Royal Park High boy… Read more »
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Paul says:
@steven no mate, you need to get out more. I was raised in the Catholic Church and I’ve never met such a bunch of well meaning, two- faced, control-freaks , ‘Sunday -Christians’—who seriously and criminally damaged two of my mates lives. The small-minded Labor folks come close. Read more »
Is it possible to write a column questioning the value of monogamy without having your head shaved and being dragged to a public stoning hosted by right wing columnists? Guess I’m about to find out.
In the wake of the Della Bosca fiasco I’ve been thinking a lot about why we’re so obsessed with sexual fidelity.
.
From a rational point of view it’s clearly ridiculous to stake our life partnerships on something as unpredictable and unbiddable
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FF says:
I have a very simple agreement with my partner. We’ve been together for almost a decade now, since we met in high school and have only been apart for about 1/2 a year involuntarily (he was deported) - it felt like a year or two to the both of us… Read more »
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Dan says:
Observa, you still haven’t answered the question of why you would mention Warne. He was a bowler, and I have no desire to ask any ‘real’ women as his affairs are nobody’s business. If you’re going to judge a sportsman based on his private life, it says much more about… Read more »
Do you remember the choose your own ending tales of your childhood? Well, I hope so, because this is a choose-your-own beginning kind of opinion piece, and trust me, no one’s going to choose the beginning that it is meant to go with it.

Beginning one would start with “My good friend’s boyfriend has not gotten laid in four weeks” and everyone would feel sorry for him. But they’d tell him to hang in there and go with it, because four weeks is not so long and maybe there’s a dry spell hovering over the relationship that a little holiday in the Hunter couldn’t fix.
Suppose this article opened with beginning two, where I’d say “My good friend’s boyfriend has not gotten laid in four months”, and everyone would be horrified and encourage him to leave, or go elsewhere for that physical part of life that everyone is entitled to but he is clearly lacking.
But beginning number three goes against all modern social norms and it’s the one I’m going with:
Continue reading "Believe it or not, fidelity is still in fashion" »
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zoe says:
ChelseaLee I agree. My husband and I were both virgins when we got married, 8 years ago, and our sex life gets better even after having kids. I’d much rather start low then you can only improve, I don’t think many couples that have been with many partners could say… Read more »
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Mr Subramanian says:
The rest of my earlier comment seems to have been lost: “Nice to hear from you again, Sarah. It seems clear that your own boyfriend / fiance / husband is (a) going to have a high mark to live up to! and (b) is (going to be) one fortunate guy… Read more »
Not everyone wants to have children – in fact according to some recent research conducted by Schering Plough, about 24% of women surveyed said they don’t want to have children.

For the 76% who do, this survey highlighted the barriers faced by women in 2009 that affect their decisions about children.
In this group, almost two thirds (62%) of Gen Y women, those aged 18 – 29, say they will delay having kids now as they are concerned about the cost.
Continue reading "Why women don’t want, want and can’t have kids" »
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Christina says:
I too never wanted kids. When I graduated college at 23, my boyfriend and I had a daughter. However, the boyfriend left for a 19 year old blonde and I was stuck raising a child that I had never really wanted in the first place. Don’t get me wrong, I… Read more »
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Childfree and loving it! says:
It’s refreshing to read about women who feel the same way about parenting as I do. While this article indicated that the #1 reason for not having children is not having found the right partner, I choose not to have children for other reasons. While I am only 26, and… Read more »
“Sex: Does It Affect Performance?” - the question that gave rise to the immortal response from former test cricketer Merv Hughes: “How would I know?”

The same could be said about our political parties until today, with the release of the Punch’s groundbreaking survey into the links between voting intention and personal relationships.
It finds Labor voters are more likely to value a partner who is a “good lover”, while Liberal voters seek a companion who is “kind and considerate”. Meanwhile Greens just want someone to laugh with/at. As for the swingers? Like name, like nature.
Continue reading "What your sex life says about your voting habits" »
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Paul says:
Go greens! The copycat conservatives in Labor and Lib are running scared.. Laughter. Read more »
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Charles says:
What I’ve discovered is that if I have a rough melon, don’t have much cash, am below average on the IQ scale, but am a decent root I should look for a partner who is a Labour voter. Oh, and vice versa. Perhaps that explains the ‘cinema’ icon of the… Read more »
When it comes to the private conduct of public figures, Australians like to have it a bob each way. And that’s not an oblique reference to one of our most accomplished prime ministers both in the parliament and the bedroom.

As a general statement, we say that we don’t much care whether our politicians are cheating on their partners. It’s a badge of honour for us that we’re not like the United States, where the moral majority wields tremendous influence within politics and any hint of infidelity will destroy a career.
Australians just shrug their shoulders and say: well, nobody’s perfect, politicians are human too. You can spare us the lectures from the holy-rollers, most of whom will eventually be sprung inside a $55-a-night Formula One motor inn dressed as Shirley Temple.
Continue reading "Do Australians care if politicians fool around?" »
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jonny says:
it does matter because he clearly can’t be trusted. surely that’s the whole point about being a politician… you have to be trusted… Read more »
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Frances says:
Well Kate has been exposed now, and as they say what goes around comes around let her feel embarrassed now for exposing herself as well as her former lover. Kate Neill aka Harmony. Hmm not much harmony there. Read more »
Her voice was clear, eloquent and well-mannered. “I’d like to have the AVO cancelled, please,” she told the clerk confidently.

They see a lot, staff of local court registries and maybe this was nothing new. Curious, I turned to see who was speaking, not entirely sure of what I expected to see. Noting an appearance to match the voice - blonde, well-groomed and aged in her early-to-mid 20s - the young woman went on.
“You see, I was really drunk the other night, and I said a lot of things I didn’t mean.”
Continue reading "When an AVO is just a tactic in a lovers’ quarrel" »
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Bud says:
I agree that AVO’s are too easy to get. This means that they can not be policed properly. However, the woman called April mentioned this artcile has been seriously maligned. I wonder where the writer has gotten her information. This writer should do her research and not rely on biased… Read more »
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Jack says:
Even the legal aid proponents advise complainants to “talk to the Police they will help you achieve the outcome you want”. This reeks of predetermining the outcome of the justice system. What justice system? When a man seeks to obtain a PFV order he is largely ignored or advised “don’t… Read more »
Last week at a lunch to console a newly-divorced friend, I decided to lighten her terror at being “the only single woman left on the planet” and relate an interesting new statistic.

“A recent study in the UK found that in 20 years, one in five women currently in their twenties will never have married and will live alone. See, there’ll be millions like us!” I said cheerily.
Looking at my girlfriend’s face, it became apparent she was not quite as enthralled by this statistical tidbit as me. In fact, judging by her open-mouth stare, anyone would think I had just disembowelled a baby panda and was about to start on a litter of puppies.
Continue reading "Millions of happy single people can’t be wrong" »
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june musektt says:
lve always been happy single, but now at 62, a very young 62 i am told, i am beginning to wonder if i did it right, i am a only child my dad is in res care, I recently retired did not want to, but circumstances at work meant i… Read more »
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Brian says:
Ignoring the actual issue at stake, whenever I see or hear a line of the form “millions of ... can’t be wrong”, I recognize hogwash and incoherence. If there are lots of people who do or believe something, then that implies that there may well be some validity to it,… Read more »
I finally got around to watching Twilight recently and, as a result, fear for a generation of impressionable, young and deluded women.
Wherever Robert Pattinson, who plays the enigmatic teen vampire Edward in the blockbuster book and movie franchise, goes these days he is swamped by hysterical young girls who appear headed down a rough old romantic road. And now I know why.
You see, Edward is the template of everything I, and so many women like me, tend to go for in a man which, despite the wisdom of age, several broken relationships and all good intentions, remains best described in one word: unattainable.
Continue reading "Us girls are always sucked in by a blood-sucking bastard" »
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Burned man. says:
after YEARS! of looking for love and having trouble even getting a conversation, I’ve come to the conclusion that some things just arent worth the effort. I’m a nice guy, polite, considerate, knows how to party without being needy, pathetic or too forward (a normal person with a job, without… Read more »
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Gillian says:
I wrote about this topic on my blog quite recently - http://30isthenewblack.com/2009/07/26/ghosts-of-boyfriends-past/ As I said in the intro, women want to be with nice guys but men need to redefine what they think a ‘nice guy’ is. I want a guy whose life doesn’t revolve around me and who has… Read more »
The other day I couldn’t help but over hear a spirited conversation by a group of girls at an Italian restaurant.

Their discussion focused on the lack of nice blokes in night clubs and drinking spots. Not to be a grinch, I suppress the urge to inform them that nice guys will soon join the Dodo in extinction.
They will be the latest addition to the graveyard of male archetypes – such as chocks, snags and metrosexuals – that men unsuccessfully adopted when wooing the other sex.
Continue reading "Death of the nice guy may lead to end of the species" »
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Gillian says:
Women want to be with nice guys but men need to redefine what they think a ‘nice guy’ is. What women want are men who have self respect and know how to set boundaries in both in their business and personal life. What we don’t want is a man who… Read more »
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Formersnag says:
Speaking as a nice bloke if i say so myself. It has been my sad experience that seriously crazy women are attracted to me like flies on shit because they think, i will be more snagish, easy going, or in other words, better able to put up with their crazy… Read more »
I can’t decide which takes the cake - the grey vinyl lap top bag for a women who doesn’t own a lap top, or the magazine filled with pictures of kelpies for a wife to browse during labour.
Neither were as cruel as the all-expenses-paid trip to Morocco where the she was promptly dumped. Or as indiscreet as the yoga mat recommended by his “friend” the yoga instructor - who he’s now dating.
It’s incredible what some men think is an acceptable gift for their partner.
Continue reading "You got me what? Men and the terrible gifts they buy" »
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Louise O says:
A friends husband brought her an ironing board for her birthday - thankfully she hit him with it. Read more »
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Holly says:
Else, you win! Read more »
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