December and January are generally slow news months in Australia. The pollies have gone home, cricket is on the TV and we can find time to relax. It can be a testing time for the media, with column inches and tabloid TV segments to fill. But all is not lost.
Enter the fortune tellers.
What does the year ahead hold for us? Let’s ask our resident astrologer/medium/psychic/mystic/clairvoyant.
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A surprisingly honest tarot reader at ‘Psychic Tarot Insights’ has tried to locate Jill Meagher.
Here’s the surprisingly honest (if understated) bit:
“Tarot is not considered 100 per cent accurate by law and I cannot claim to solve issues only show what I have in the cards.”
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The European Soccer Championships start this weekend, which is kind of like the World Cup minus Brazil and Argentina. You can tell our sports guy is writing these threads while young Dan Piotrowski’s away, can’t you.
Anyway, so you all remember Paul the psychic octopus who picked virtually every result at the last FIFA World Cup? Well, the Euro Championships start in Ukraine this weekend, and they’ve got a psychic pig. Meet Khryak. He’s hideous. But he could be the bookies’ worst enemy.
That’s not Khyrak in the pic, by the way. That’s the pig, with two tiger cub friends, that bobbed up when we typed the keywords “Ukraine” and “pig” into our image library. Awwwww. So what psychic predictions can you make for us today?
Is your church plagued by plummeting attendance levels? Is your exorcism business in the red? Are the tea leaves telling you to tighten your belt? Well turn that frown upside down, because this could be the answer to all your prayers. The commercial world has known the secret forever, but the churches and other peddlers of the spirit world are only just catching on.
Sex sells. And the successful spiritual movements of the future will be those who learn to press people’s slightly less metaphysical buttons.
When the 2011 Census figures come out you can bet your tithe they’ll show a continuing trend of mainstream Christian churches losing followers while the Pentecostal churches pick them up. People want more Guy Sebastian, less The Lord Is My Shepherd. More rock, less clothes. More laying on of hands than laying on of hands.
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