Parties
Did you notice the date? It’s Hallowe’en again, and the usual signs are out. It’s fascinated me for some years how Australians take this festival, and I finally had to put it out there - Hallowe’en seems to create more Grinches than goblins, ghouls or headless horsemen in this country. I wonder why. There seems no reason for it at all.
Last week I was in a nameless large department store in an unfashionable part of my home town, and saw a fairly half-hearted display of decorations, pumpkin-shaped loot sacks, childrens’ outfits and so on near the entrance. Goody, said I, just what I’m after, and proceeded to lay in a supply of scary trimmings.
As I was choosing Jack-o-Lantern-emblazoned battery lights and witches hats, a small boy and his father walked past, perhaps on their way to buy toiletries or stationery or motor oil. “Look, Dad, Hallowe’en,” said the nipper. The very typical Australian father (yes, a little tubby and sloppily dressed) didn’t break stride. He was on a mission to get whatever it was. “We don’t have Hallowe’en in Australia,” I heard as they disappeared.
Continue reading "Are we too Grinchy to get into the spirit of Halloween?" »
Pippa Middleton, the sister of Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, AKA the girl in “that dress,” has written a party book.
According to Penguin, who paid six figures for the hardcover tome, it’s “a comprehensive seasonal guide to simple and creative entertaining”.
Phew, something for everyone then.
Continue reading "And this time it really is Pippa’s party" »
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Fred Bloggs says:
“Committed the gravest crimes in the history of party hosting: upstaging her sister at her own wedding” What bullshit is this? The media made sure that Pippa’s bum was the centre of attention, not Pippa herself, so how can this be considered a crime? A poor editorial comment indeed. Read more »
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grumpy old fart says:
Haven’t read the book, but…“upstaging her sister at her own wedding”; Is that Pippa’s, or her sister’s; I mean wedding. Did Pippa get married, and upstage her sister or what. Haven’t followed any story lines on Home and Away for years, since I got divorced and wasn’t ‘forced’ to watch… Read more »
Tomorrow, my darling, you turn 12; a girl, still. But sometime when I wasn’t paying attention, the pudgy-cheeked baby skipped away and here you are, a soft sketch of the woman you’re going to be.
I want to freeze-frame you so I can say all the things I’ve missed, that the words may be indelibly inked like a suit of armour around your soul. But soon it’ll be your own voice, not mine, that matters most. So here’s something to pop in your pocket or file on your bedroom floor: 12 things I want you to know on your 12th birthday.
Your body is the only one you’ll ever have. How blessed are you, that it works perfectly and has barely given you a moment’s pain. Some people aren’t so lucky, so respect it – even when those around you are hating theirs. I can’t protect you from the stinging winds of the beauty storm about to strike your shores, but don’t take the weather with you. Photographs, as we’ve shown you, are not truth.
Continue reading "My darling, 12 things you need to know at 12" »
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s101 says:
Agree. Beautifully written words and I agree with every word. However I would not have had the maturity to understand it until I hit my 30’s. I do however look back with fondness at the time of my life when I thought I was immortal, that bad things only happen… Read more »
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Bultaco Metrella says:
By far and away the best thing I have read on The Punch Read more »
So it was a fantastic week for guns. Nick D’Arcy and Kenrick Monk had to go the mega mea culpa for momentarily being confused as to which sport they pull on the green and gold tracksuit and Dunlop Volleys for.
It was also a great week for parenting combined with guns, and it doesn’t get any better than that. One notable example showed that children are not only our future, but are in very good hands. Ok, one of those hands might be their mum or dad brandishing a semi-automatic pistol, or a pump-action shotgun, but that’s of little consequence.
The story of eight-year-old kids having parties at a shooting range copped more of a barrage than a nude guy chomping on a face in Miami.
Continue reading "Giving a game of Cops and Robbers new consequences" »
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Slick says:
My only concern is how does an 8 year old handle the kick back? Ive seen a 30 year old, who fires guns all the time, scope himself. And yes, I laughed:) Read more »
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Lyla says:
Shootin’ and cake but NO PIÑATA?! “It’s not festive like that…” Come on! Kids love bashing the crap out of those colourful paper-mâché creations. We all do! On a serious note - kids in Texas (and most of the US) have more to fear from the absolute rubbish their parents… Read more »
The party I attended on Saturday night, was punctuated by a fine Australian tradition – the nudie run.
Sometime after midnight, but while the party was still young, the birthday boy and a few of his mates set off for a swinging lap of their beloved cricket oval, while the party continued alongside at the clubhouse.
Live entertainment is always special, and the guests appreciated the show - though not as much as the runners themselves. So far so normal you may say, except this party was my friend’s 40th not his 21st.
Continue reading "It’s not a party until someone loses their pants" »
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Ron says:
Actually the photo is of a NZ rugby team known as the “nude blacks” and unfortunately the big guy is a member of the team. Read more »
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jimbo says:
Am 66 and have 8 grand kids. Have just finished my third trip to Disneyland in Anaheim. As they get old enough to qualify for the rides I take a couple over. I enjoy it so much I would go without the kids but am afraid to look like… Read more »
Every New Year’s Eve Sydney’s Lord Mayor takes over the city’s prime harbourside viewing area at the Opera House just so society’s self-serving elites can get their snouts in the trough, quaff free champagne and look down on the poor people below them.
I know this because after years of trying I finally got an invitation.
Last Saturday marked the first time I had ever managed to see the New Year’s Eve fireworks display up close without the water police involved. (This does not count the year that I thought I was watching the fireworks display but had actually just set the kitchen on fire.)
Continue reading "The drunkest, stupidest, greatest city in the world" »
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Hoho says:
PNB, The Taxi Club’s got your name all over it. Very clssay joint, that is.You’ll love the door bitch, just don’t make eye contact with him Read more »
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Vedder says:
For all the problems people say that we have in Adelaide, an interesting piece of information I read the other day was that Head Offices in Sydney did not like transferring staff to Adelaide. The reason why they did not like transferring staff, was that they had trouble convincing those… Read more »
So a Puncher got invited to a big birthday bash a little while ago.
The invitation was sent over Facebook. The Puncher was only really an acquaintance of the person whose party it was, but was happy to have been invited.
After all, the Puncher had a really good conversation with the acquaintance at a party not all that long ago.
Continue reading "Friday dilemma: Should I snub the two-faced host?" »
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zel says:
do you want to go to the party? yes? then go. no? then shut up. Read more »
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Elphaba says:
@Mahhrat, sounds like you’re self-aware of your flaws. That’s rare and a good thing. And I think you’re right, many people don’t like to be challenged. That WoM blog is a freakshow… Read more »
A four year old kid’s party is the organisational equivalent of climbing Everest.
There are issues such as the theme, the venue and the cake. For the invitation alone thought must be given to colour, graphic, envelope size and font. And who to send the invitation to?
Organising D-Day could hardly have been more difficult.
Continue reading "Fairybread, lolly bags, tears and hysteria" »
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Diana says:
“But the problem is that much of birthdays is about letting your beloved child know that this is particularly his special day. And with games comes the certainty that your child will not win many or any of them, denying him his birthday entitlement. I well remember attending one party… Read more »
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Celia says:
SImple is magic! Our most fun birthday party was paper mache-ing a heap of balloons, popping lollies inside and painting them speckled like dino eggs. We had the party in the bush, and the parents took their children into the scrub to get big sticks to build a dinosaur nest.… Read more »
On a simple buzz-for-bucks basis, booze on sale at the wildly popular Summafieldayze festival is the most expensive drug on the Australian market.
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Single cans of mid-strength Smirnoff vodka and lemonade were going for the ridiculous sum of $10.50; a captive market of 30,000 punters (each shelling out $140 for a ticket) was caught in the net.
For the cost of three or four festival drinks and a couple of phone calls, any half-connected ticketholder could instead score himself a measure of illicit drugs sure to get them far closer to “the happy place” place than a few pre-mixed cans ever could.
Continue reading "Festival booze: Australia’s most expensive drug" »
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Karl says:
They do it because they can - and you, the punters, let them. Ahh for the good old days when we would load up our rubbish bins full of ice and cans and head off to a one dayer at the SCG. Read more »
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JKM says:
Well gold and silver has a strong recognised value internationally, the American republic in its early days after the revolution got by on Spanish dollars just fine. Plus, the Chinese, despite their predilection for strategic deception, are doing their very best to shore up supplies of hard assets such as… Read more »
It’s New Year’s Eve and I have no plans. Like… none.
The prospect of ringing in the ‘biggest night of the year’ with nothing but Channel Nine’s fireworks telecast would once have caused me to sweat in fear. This year, it’s quite liberating. Because, let’s face it, everyone knows (and often says) that NYE is the most overrated night of the year after the Oscars.
Inflated prices, awkward chanting, hammered crowds. What’s not to hate?
Continue reading "NYE: The good, the bad, and the completely overrated" »
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timohha says:
??????!!! ????? ???????? ???? , ??? ????? ????????? ????? ????????? ? ????? ??????!!! ?? ???? ????? ????? ??????? <a >???????</a> ??????????? ??????? ? ??????? ????????!!! <a >????</a> <a >??????</a> Read more »
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Zopo says:
Like I have said in other posts, next year I will be home or on an island resort somewhere. Its just not worth paying $10 a drink, waiting half an hour for that drink then having to battle home. Surely if Clover can organise bus lanes in the CBD she… Read more »
Football parties can be enormous fun but they can also see people at cross purposes. In my case, I usually head back to Adelaide.
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My brother generously throws open his house offering a fine spread of food and beverages and importantly, two televisions - one inside for the more hard-core among us who want to really watch the match, and the other outside for assorted toddlers and parents, and those suspiciously agnostic types who seem content to talk right through the action.
Perhaps 30 or more people will turn up - an event no doubt replicated a thousand times across the city and anywhere the game is followed.
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Working From Home issue says:
For Concerned,vote driver obvious control early violence extend assume victory due hell river system annual poor daughter tour mind within force fall presence take star repeat technique exist old faith date application worker travel involve duty city break design modern show commercial herself entitle pleasure persuade okay everything plus breath… Read more »
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acker says:
Would have had a huge no expense spared one If friggin Footscray won last Friday night…gggggrrrr P.S To the AFL Round 22 fixture organizer :: thanks for scheduling us to play Sunday night while our following weeks opponent (Geelong) had finished their match a day and a half earlier….. thanks… Read more »
Staring out at the ocean with a surfboard under my arm, I wondered if I had truly lost the plot. This was no Surfers’ Paradise.
I could feel neither my hands nor my feet, my nose was a block of ice and even my eyelashes were freezing. Breathing was becoming a challenge, too. No, this was not some kind of extreme sports challenge - I was on a hen’s weekend on a glorious spring morning in Cornwall, England.
On this day, however, the seaside town of Newquay more closely resembled a freezing winter’s day alongside the Great Australian Bight. Confused? Let me explain.
Continue reading "Ooo-er, let’s hear it for the saucy English hen’s night" »
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Brian says:
Nice Bunns! Read more »
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Marty says:
The Poms are bloody good at organising a party. Spend any Saturday night in South London and you’ll see hordes of nutters in fancy dress, living it up and having a great time - Cinderella eating a kebab at 3am was not so attractive, but she looked happy. Read more »
Staring out at the ocean with a surfboard under my arm, I wondered if I had truly lost the plot. This was no Surfers’ Paradise.
Continue reading "Pommy-style Hen’s Night the ultimate form of stimulus" »
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