Overweight

I am the postgraduate dream. I live on minimum wage; I have a flirtatious relationship with the poverty line. However, I think this is a karmic repercussion of my own bad choices. As a younger, less-worldly type I entered into a line of work - dirty, unrewarding work - from which I seem unable to escape: I kill people.

In the beginning it all seemed like good fun. Harmless fun. However, recently the inescapable truth has dawned on me. Hospitality is about killing people. Most of us are all too familiar with government propaganda about the perils of smoking and drinking, two activities frequently central to hospitality.

However, it’s not these which really grate against my sensibilities. It’s the fat that is propelling me towards a nervous breakdown. They haul themselves out of their cubicles and waddle in at least once a week. Very often they appear more frequently, their numbers certainly seem to be growing.

Continue reading "Would you like a heart attack with that, sir?" »

It may sound like a risqué sexual manoeuvre, but in fact it’s a burger - KFC have decided to rid a chicken burger of its cumbersome bun – instead of those pesky empty bread calories you now get fried chicken. It’s called the Double Down.

It’s two slabs of fried chicken spooning strips of juicy bacon, cheese, and it’s got almost 2000 kilojoules.  Mmmm… kilojoules.

Cue the righteous disgust from health professionals.

Continue reading "Hold the KFC burger and pass the fried haloumi" »