New Years Resolutions
I caught up with a group of old workmates just before Christmas and couldn’t believe my eyes.
In the 12 months since our last festive fizz, they’d all shrunk – and by a sizeable amount.
“I’ve lost 16 kilos,” cried one gleefully.
“Ten!” said another.
“More than 20,” said a third.
Continue reading "Think you can’t keep that resolution? Think again." »
Two thousand and twelve is a party away. Enjoy those final few cigarettes, that last packet of Tim Tams, that extra glass of wine, those lazy hours on the couch.
Revel in slouching, swearing, picking your nose and ignoring that old lady who needs help crossing the street. Behold the sum total of the vices your New Year’s resolutions will grab by the throat, tear limb from limb and consign to the bad habits of history.
For a day or two.
Continue reading "2012 is nearly here, so scoff down that last Tim Tam!" »
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Cate says:
A Pity Tim Tams aren’t Australian anymore. Happy new Year everyone. Anyone got any ideas to make it happy or at least bearable. Bagging pollies doesn’t do anything for me anymore. I want to be calm and peaceful. I guess I can do this free of charge without being taxed. … Read more »
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iansand says:
220 is sulphur dioxide. That may be your problem, but there are other things, such as tannins, present in red wine that are not found in white. I just checked a bottle of unwooded chardie in my fridge (I know - how naff and 5 years ago) and it has… Read more »
Cookie diets, lemon detox diets, juice fasts, vegan weeks, the master cleanse.
Magazines are full of them, friends bang on about them, and every celebrity worth their size zero britches will happily rave about their benefits.
Is there anything more frustrating, galling, idiotic, and yet somehow tempting than a detox?
Continue reading "Faddish, foolish and futile: why detox diets don’t work" »
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What’s your New Year’s Resolution? Do you even subscribe to that sort of thing?
Mine was to stop drinking so much but I broke that within 24 hours. Must be some kind of record. So, in honour of all those ruined resolutions, here are some suggestions for 2011.
1. NSW Premier Kristina Keneally: Stop lying, or your nose will grow long like Pinocchio’s. If you can’t stop lying, at least attend some of the ethics classes you’re bringing into NSW classrooms. You could learn a thing or two.
Continue reading "New Year’s resolutions we’d all like to see…" »
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jf says:
Why, what a witty, thoughtful contribution Freeman. Read more »
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Freeman Dyson says:
Having read through all teh comments - withouta doubt the smartest guy here is TimB. The rest are just trolltards. Read more »
Lying about having epilepsy was when I hit rock bottom on the excuses spectrum.
But when faced with the perfectly reasonable question from a Canberra cabbie who had picked me up twice in a day, as to why a seemingly healthy 27 year old did not just drive himself, I blanked and then came up with: “well I have epilepsy you see, stops you driving.”
Firstly, apologies to any epileptics reading this for using your problem as an excuse to escape the embarrassment of not having my driver’s licence, as well as using possibly factually inaccurate information about epilepsy impeding your ability to drive (a friend with epilepsy just mentioned this once so I especially apologise to him).
Continue reading "All rage no road: stories of driver’s licence failure" »
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I got mine at 17 says:
Asan ex short time taxi driver (N owonder with the problems we have driving) an accountant had worked out he was better of finacially without a car. That may be so, but i wonder if he factured in his time delays etc spent waiting, and travelling by cabs and their… Read more »
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Reg says:
We had a neighbour charged with being drunk in charge of a horse and not carrying regulation lighting. He didn’t know which way was home and he depended on the horse to get him there. Makes sense to me. Read more »
We’re approaching the day where after a month of rampant, random consumerism, and with the humility that only a major hangover brings, people make their New Year’s resolutions. Bad idea.
All you end up with is nicotine withdrawal for a few days, a gym membership you have to pay $5000 to get out of, and a fridge full of rotting “superfoods”.
So what I propose for this year is a more modest approach to becoming a better person: rather than worrying about reaching for a whole lot of unattainable virtues, let’s all just try not being such arseholes.
Continue reading "Don’t be a wanker: an honest guide to living better" »
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Jay says:
1) Whingers who run to the council to complain about neighbours without even trying a face to face with the neighbour 2)Self congratulory morons who gloat on internet sites how they dobbed in the neighbour behind his/her back (hey big man…) 3)Same morons who complain in the next breath about… Read more »
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