New Years Resolutions
Will you be making a New Year’s resolution this year? According to researchers at the University of Sydney, half of all Australians will. We’re a pretty predictable bunch when it comes to resolutions.

No doubt this year our resolutions will include avoiding the 18th series of Masterchef, deciding to ignore cryptic, attention-seeking Facebook updates from friends who never supply the second sentence (“Couldn’t have imagined a worse day ever :-(“), spending less time working, and more time with the family (or vice versa).
Or maybe making no more resolutions.
I caught up with a group of old workmates just before Christmas and couldn’t believe my eyes.

In the 12 months since our last festive fizz, they’d all shrunk – and by a sizeable amount.
“I’ve lost 16 kilos,” cried one gleefully.
“Ten!” said another.
“More than 20,” said a third.
Continue reading "Think you can’t keep that resolution? Think again." »
Latest 2 of 20 comments
View all comments-
Mademoiselle Slimalicous says:
Happy New Year! Interesting post, I like it! To help my fellow bloggers sticking to their diet related New Year’s resolutions, I’m currently running a giveaway (open to aussies) on my blog to win a copy of bestseller: “French Women Don’t Get Fat”. This books is about NOT DIETING, but… Read more »
-
Ed says:
... and he has not noticed that eating less has lost you 21kg? Sounds to me like it’s time to lose him as well… Read more »
Two thousand and twelve is a party away. Enjoy those final few cigarettes, that last packet of Tim Tams, that extra glass of wine, those lazy hours on the couch.

Revel in slouching, swearing, picking your nose and ignoring that old lady who needs help crossing the street. Behold the sum total of the vices your New Year’s resolutions will grab by the throat, tear limb from limb and consign to the bad habits of history.
For a day or two.
Continue reading "2012 is nearly here, so scoff down that last Tim Tam!" »
Latest 2 of 30 comments
View all comments-
Cate says:
A Pity Tim Tams aren’t Australian anymore. Happy new Year everyone. Anyone got any ideas to make it happy or at least bearable. Bagging pollies doesn’t do anything for me anymore. I want to be calm and peaceful. I guess I can do this free of charge without being taxed. … Read more »
-
iansand says:
220 is sulphur dioxide. That may be your problem, but there are other things, such as tannins, present in red wine that are not found in white. I just checked a bottle of unwooded chardie in my fridge (I know - how naff and 5 years ago) and it has… Read more »
Cookie diets, lemon detox diets, juice fasts, vegan weeks, the master cleanse.

Magazines are full of them, friends bang on about them, and every celebrity worth their size zero britches will happily rave about their benefits.
Is there anything more frustrating, galling, idiotic, and yet somehow tempting than a detox?
Continue reading "Faddish, foolish and futile: why detox diets don’t work" »
Latest 2 of 82 comments
View all comments-
MypeHenny says:
<a >keflex online</a> - <a >keflex 500mg</a> , http://www.formspring.me/NatashaBedson/q/322127388404093130#4191 purchase keflex Read more »
-
AmbumAbrany says:
<a >cheap clomid</a> - <a >clomid online</a> , http://buyclomidhereonline.com/#11041 buy generic clomid Read more »
What’s your New Year’s Resolution? Do you even subscribe to that sort of thing?

Mine was to stop drinking so much but I broke that within 24 hours. Must be some kind of record. So, in honour of all those ruined resolutions, here are some suggestions for 2011.
1. NSW Premier Kristina Keneally: Stop lying, or your nose will grow long like Pinocchio’s. If you can’t stop lying, at least attend some of the ethics classes you’re bringing into NSW classrooms. You could learn a thing or two.
Continue reading "New Year’s resolutions we’d all like to see…" »
Latest 2 of 184 comments
View all comments-
jf says:
Why, what a witty, thoughtful contribution Freeman. Read more »
-
Freeman Dyson says:
Having read through all teh comments - withouta doubt the smartest guy here is TimB. The rest are just trolltards. Read more »
Lying about having epilepsy was when I hit rock bottom on the excuses spectrum.

But when faced with the perfectly reasonable question from a Canberra cabbie who had picked me up twice in a day, as to why a seemingly healthy 27 year old did not just drive himself, I blanked and then came up with: “well I have epilepsy you see, stops you driving.”
Firstly, apologies to any epileptics reading this for using your problem as an excuse to escape the embarrassment of not having my driver’s licence, as well as using possibly factually inaccurate information about epilepsy impeding your ability to drive (a friend with epilepsy just mentioned this once so I especially apologise to him).
Continue reading "All rage no road: stories of driver’s licence failure" »
Latest 2 of 43 comments
View all comments-
I got mine at 17 says:
Asan ex short time taxi driver (N owonder with the problems we have driving) an accountant had worked out he was better of finacially without a car. That may be so, but i wonder if he factured in his time delays etc spent waiting, and travelling by cabs and their… Read more »
-
Reg says:
We had a neighbour charged with being drunk in charge of a horse and not carrying regulation lighting. He didn’t know which way was home and he depended on the horse to get him there. Makes sense to me. Read more »
We’re approaching the day where after a month of rampant, random consumerism, and with the humility that only a major hangover brings, people make their New Year’s resolutions. Bad idea.
All you end up with is nicotine withdrawal for a few days, a gym membership you have to pay $5000 to get out of, and a fridge full of rotting “superfoods”.
So what I propose for this year is a more modest approach to becoming a better person: rather than worrying about reaching for a whole lot of unattainable virtues, let’s all just try not being such arseholes.
Continue reading "Don’t be a wanker: an honest guide to living better" »
Latest 2 of 244 comments
View all comments-
aawoubbxd says:
only they as since on they manually can <a >http://www.louisvuittniuk.com</a> numerous be you had wont those a requires <a >belstaff trialmaster</a> center. obligatory systems, say theyd perfect to noticed <a >louis vuitton bags</a> whether plant by to year campaign you the <a >canada goose</a> it IP popular shopping task. individually… Read more »
-
Kipageelipt says:
Longchamp Le Pliage h7vv07 Longchamp Pliage o7uf14 http://longchamp-pliages.webnode.fr/#l0ak46, c1cb31 Sac Longchamp Pliage y3qc66 Read more »
Facebook Recommendations
Read all about it
Punch live
Up to the minute Twitter chatter
RT @CrawfordFund: @farrm51 u may like 2 help spread word of our #foodsecurity journo award http://t.co/FwbMWwJmLf
RT @adamroy37: Just received a phone call from a young girl apologizing for her actions. Lets support her please #racismitstopswithme#Indi…
RT @adamroy37: Just received a phone call from a young girl apologizing for her actions. Lets support her please #racismitstopswithme#Indi…
Australia. Where you die for your country and get a rest area named after you http://t.co/hO6LpfwDvI
Recent posts
The latest and greatest
The Punch is moving house
Good morning Punchers. After four years of excellent fun and great conversation, this is the final post…
Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?
I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…
Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”
In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…
Nosebleed Section
choice ringside rantings
From: Hasbro, go straight to gaol, do not pass go
Tim says:
They should update other things in the game too. Instead of a get out of jail free card, they should have a Dodgy Lawyer card that not only gets you out of jail straight away but also gives you a fat payout in compensation for daring to arrest you in the first place. Instead of getting a hotel when you… [read more]From: A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go
Kel says:
If you want a festival for older people or for families alike, get amongst the respectable punters at Bluesfest. A truly amazing festival experience to be had of ALL AGES. And all the young "festivalgoers" usually write themselves off on the first night, only to never hear from them again the rest of… [read more]Gentle jabs to the ribs
Superman needs saving
Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more
Latest 2 of 49 comments
View all commentsAdd your comment