Marriage
I’ve just accepted my first ever invitation to be a bridesmaid for some very good friends.
Being a fairly low-key and relaxed kind of couple I’m not concerned about any freak outs or “Bridezilla” moments. Nor, knowing my friend’s simple and elegant tastes do I expect to find myself locked into a series of Saturday morning shopping trips to look at ghastly creations made from taffeta.
But I am wondering - in light of all the things I know my friend doesn’t want at her wedding – what exactly does a bridesmaid to the off-beat bride do? And what types of behaviours should be avoided at all costs?
Continue reading "Punch list: Top things a bridesmaid should never do" »
I’ve been labouring under the false assumption that it’s the fundamentalists, the right wing conservatives standing in the way of gay marriage. Not so. Or not completely.
I now know that there’s a vast spread of middle-of-the-road Australians scared shitless by anything even slightly unconventional when it comes to weddings. They’re everywhere, they’re clinging to tradition with every fibre of their morally indignant being, and they cross into every population group.
There’s enough of them out there who get their full-sized briefs in a knot over non-church weddings to make it clear they’ll never tolerate same-sex unions.
Continue reading "It’s your special day, but you’re married to the mob" »
Latest 2 of 184 comments
View all comments-
Isaac says:
@Steely Dan re. Code of Hammurabi. The Scriptures of the Old Testament were reliably preserved in the Jewish Culture and document Jewish culture to a time before 1790BC. I’m certainly no scholar on these matters however, and so I shall refrain from making any further assertions. But the real issue… Read more »
-
Steely Dan says:
@Isaac “True, it predates Christianity, but it doesn’t pre-date the Old Testament which is inseperable from Christianity.” The Code of Hammurabi has been dated to 1790BCE - over a thousand years earlier than the oldest Judeo-Christian manuscript. Christianity has no special claim to being the inventors of marriage. Chances are… Read more »
There’s been much ado about love over the past week. And that’s quite apart from speculation over whether or not Brad and his wacky old-man beard might be reuniting with Jennifer Aniston.
Debate has been stirred around the world courtesy of the book ‘Marry Him: the Case for Settling for Mr Good Enough’, by American writer Lori Gottlieb, to be released in the United States this week.
In it, Gottlieb - who is 42 and the single mother of a child conceived via sperm donation - holds herself up as a cautionary tale: if you cling to the (unrealistic) ideal of finding Mr Right, you may end up all alone.
Continue reading "Should women accept a guy who’s just good enough?" »
Latest 2 of 159 comments
View all comments-
James says:
Geez I thought I was a bastard, the venom on this blog is melting my monitor. Relationships are not a blood sport it is supposed to be the fun bit of life, would it kill you lot to be a bit nicer to each other. Read more »
-
Rebecca says:
Barx: obviously your idea of ‘the embodiment of joy’ is very self centered. Read more »
So Tony Abbott thinks Australian women should quit having pre-marital sex.
We all know he likes a challenge.
But good luck, mate, getting that particular toothpaste back in the tube.
Continue reading "Hey Tony, the virginity ship has sailed" »
Latest 2 of 126 comments
View all comments-
cam says:
My Dad once said to me, ” son, would you rather be a master key to open many locks or would you rather be a lock that can be opened by many keys ? “ That’s all Abbott needed to say. Read more »
-
Mr Mudgeway says:
Again, the innuendo: ” The same fathers ... would enthusiastically encourage their sons to screw around ...” The implication is that Tony Abbott would be just the same as one of these fathers with whom Catharine Lumby is so well acquainted. This is a monstrous accusation, just adding another brick… Read more »
Bridget Jones has a generation of Chinese sisters. They are unmarried, aged 30 or above and known as shengnu or leftover women.
Shengnu was once an offensive term and popular only in Shanghai but an increase in the number of singles has meant these women are now a small social force in cities like Beijing. A popular newspaper reported recently: “The era of the shengnu is here”.
Shengnu also carry the unflattering title of 3S women, meaning single, born in the seventies and considered “stuck” (although many would insist they have chosen to remain single). They are educated and well paid but remain unmarried despite being past the age traditionally considered most appropriate for getting hitched in China.
Continue reading "Postcard from Beijing: China’s man drought" »
Latest 2 of 103 comments
View all comments-
Awesome says:
@Sam: Just ignore Bec and her ilk, man. They can all pound sand. You need to spread your knowledge to the younger men of Australia. Follow the example of American talk radio host Tom Leykis, and let them know the truth about feminism. Already, it seems young Aussie men are… Read more »
-
bellezyx says:
*lol* late 20’s vag?!!! But you got yourself a nice ‘fresh’ wife? That is hysterical. Read more »
Another happy-go-lucky Hollywood production is out about infidelity: ‘It’s Complicated’. It may even win the star of the movie an academy award.
I don’t want to rain on Merryl Streep’s parade, but what’s not complicated is fidelity to your partner and kids.
There are two simple rules – your marriage matters more than nearly everything else, and if you are a parent, be a parent.
Continue reading "What’s not complicated about marriage and family" »
Latest 2 of 50 comments
View all comments-
H of SA says:
Nice to know we don’t disagree all the time hey Phil? Ha ha, most likely it would take a very special lack of self reflection and remarkable life experience for any of us to be wrong and or not in agreement 100% of the time. I guess thats one of… Read more »
-
Steve says:
@Lisa “In any case, marriage happens well after sexual experience has begun, ... ... the idea of saving ‘your best’ for marriage has gone. Women are now expected to provide their best before marriage, to prove themselves worthy of the crown.” A true friendship must be built on mutual respect.… Read more »
WHILE the world has been stewing over greenhouse gases and the impact of climate change at Copenhagen, the steamy affairs of Tiger Woods have been fogging up computer screens as every day more details of his antics off the green are revealed.
Since being hurt in a mystery car crash just over two weeks ago, the golf superstar’s torrid string of girlfriends has provided a steady diet of sex and athletic prowess to tantalise readers more than any Mills and Boon novel.
What has been just as fascinating is how Tiger’s reported extra-curricular activities have polarised comments on online news sites. The saga appears to have triggered a gender divide among many readers.
Latest 2 of 118 comments
View all comments-
daz says:
Studies show that around 75% of married people cheat so 3 out of 4 comments on this page are hypocritical BS. And Jed, pick any female celebrity and you’ll see your theory in practice. How do you see female celebrities? Paragons of virtue? Read more »
-
Luigi says:
Maybe Elin thinks just being blond and pretty is enough. Read more »
Enough with Tiger’s mistresses and their predictable push-up bras and mini skirts. Give me Mrs Woods!
While others have been marvelling at The Big T’s ability to juggle so many, many, many extra marital affairs, I’ve been sweating on what Elin is going to wear at her first public appearance.
After all, it’s The Wife’s post-scandal outfit that sets the post-scandal agenda. It lets the world know exactly what kind of woman she is. Wants to be. Will be. At least in the press.
Continue reading "Fashion for the jilted: the post-adultery dress" »
Latest 2 of 7 comments
View all comments-
kanye macleod says:
I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger, but she ain’t going with no broke bro…..(or a good looking bro, or a bro who has anything interesting to say). Read more »
-
6clegs says:
To Joseph Logan @ 12.05: Does your wife know about all your affairs? Mr, if you’re not married/in a Partnership then your “boast’’ is quite irrelevant. If Tiger had kept it in his pants his saint like reputation might still be tact. If cheating on a wife is okay, then… Read more »
Winston Churchill once said that there are two things in life that are guaranteed, death and taxes.
A strong, healthy marriage unfortunately didn’t make the cut.
And this is why I believe wholeheartedly in pre-nups.
Continue reading "Pre-nups a must-have for modern marriage" »
Latest 2 of 28 comments
View all comments-
Onadrought says:
Agree Gillian, a pre-nup or keeping a huge chunk of your money separate. I’ve got a few friends going through divorces at the moment, and the settlement issues seem like hell. And these couples don’t even have kids. Even though people here seem to be saying, pre-nups are ineffective, if… Read more »
-
nat says:
I was quite happy with the “our money” account my ex-fiance and I had in addition to the “my money” account…equal contribution to shared expenses, and no guilt over using “our money” to buy something that I wanted…and when it all fell apart, very easy to recuperate and divide deposits… Read more »
Is it possible to write a column questioning the value of monogamy without having your head shaved and being dragged to a public stoning hosted by right wing columnists? Guess I’m about to find out.
In the wake of the Della Bosca fiasco I’ve been thinking a lot about why we’re so obsessed with sexual fidelity.
.
From a rational point of view it’s clearly ridiculous to stake our life partnerships on something as unpredictable and unbiddable
Latest 2 of 59 comments
View all comments-
FF says:
I have a very simple agreement with my partner. We’ve been together for almost a decade now, since we met in high school and have only been apart for about 1/2 a year involuntarily (he was deported) - it felt like a year or two to the both of us… Read more »
-
Dan says:
Observa, you still haven’t answered the question of why you would mention Warne. He was a bowler, and I have no desire to ask any ‘real’ women as his affairs are nobody’s business. If you’re going to judge a sportsman based on his private life, it says much more about… Read more »
Do you remember the choose your own ending tales of your childhood? Well, I hope so, because this is a choose-your-own beginning kind of opinion piece, and trust me, no one’s going to choose the beginning that it is meant to go with it.
Beginning one would start with “My good friend’s boyfriend has not gotten laid in four weeks” and everyone would feel sorry for him. But they’d tell him to hang in there and go with it, because four weeks is not so long and maybe there’s a dry spell hovering over the relationship that a little holiday in the Hunter couldn’t fix.
Suppose this article opened with beginning two, where I’d say “My good friend’s boyfriend has not gotten laid in four months”, and everyone would be horrified and encourage him to leave, or go elsewhere for that physical part of life that everyone is entitled to but he is clearly lacking.
But beginning number three goes against all modern social norms and it’s the one I’m going with:
Continue reading "Believe it or not, fidelity is still in fashion" »
Latest 2 of 30 comments
View all comments-
zoe says:
ChelseaLee I agree. My husband and I were both virgins when we got married, 8 years ago, and our sex life gets better even after having kids. I’d much rather start low then you can only improve, I don’t think many couples that have been with many partners could say… Read more »
-
Mr Subramanian says:
The rest of my earlier comment seems to have been lost: “Nice to hear from you again, Sarah. It seems clear that your own boyfriend / fiance / husband is (a) going to have a high mark to live up to! and (b) is (going to be) one fortunate guy… Read more »
Not everyone wants to have children – in fact according to some recent research conducted by Schering Plough, about 24% of women surveyed said they don’t want to have children.
For the 76% who do, this survey highlighted the barriers faced by women in 2009 that affect their decisions about children.
In this group, almost two thirds (62%) of Gen Y women, those aged 18 – 29, say they will delay having kids now as they are concerned about the cost.
Continue reading "Why women don’t want, want and can’t have kids" »
Latest 2 of 34 comments
View all comments-
Christina says:
I too never wanted kids. When I graduated college at 23, my boyfriend and I had a daughter. However, the boyfriend left for a 19 year old blonde and I was stuck raising a child that I had never really wanted in the first place. Don’t get me wrong, I… Read more »
-
Childfree and loving it! says:
It’s refreshing to read about women who feel the same way about parenting as I do. While this article indicated that the #1 reason for not having children is not having found the right partner, I choose not to have children for other reasons. While I am only 26, and… Read more »
I probably should be writing this under a different name. I’m an Australian woman with a Lebanese Christian heritage, who grew up amidst an invisible social war of Lebanese Christian vs Lebanese Muslim – right here in Australia. And I’m genuinely concerned about how Muslim people are represented.
Polygamy is a contentious topic, Islam is feared and misunderstood by non-believers. So naturally, a perfect fit for a festival of dangerous ideas at last week’s Sydney Opera House Event. And man did they find the perfect speaker.
Kayser Trad. Nice enough. What I’ve seen of him anyway. I reserve all judgement of him, his practises, his beliefs. I write this based purely on his performance that day. His topic was ‘Polygamy and other Islamic Values are good for Australia’.
Continue reading "Keysar Trad doesn’t do his fellow Muslims any favours" »
Latest 2 of 88 comments
View all comments-
paul says:
I still don’t understand this racial or religious narcissism, or ignorance by Trad and others. If I went to a Muslim country and presented the hijab as a ‘dangerous’ idea I would expect to have my visa revoked. Arn’t you really debating whether polygamy is PC? I repeat Australia is… Read more »
-
Adam says:
All these comments are proof positive that religion is man’s worst ever creation. I find both Christianity and Islam extremely offensive. Two archaic, backwards FAITHS that place complete and utter devotion in the supernatural. Over time Christianity has probably been the most sickening of the lot but in this day… Read more »
“Sex: Does It Affect Performance?” - the question that gave rise to the immortal response from former test cricketer Merv Hughes: “How would I know?”
The same could be said about our political parties until today, with the release of the Punch’s groundbreaking survey into the links between voting intention and personal relationships.
It finds Labor voters are more likely to value a partner who is a “good lover”, while Liberal voters seek a companion who is “kind and considerate”. Meanwhile Greens just want someone to laugh with/at. As for the swingers? Like name, like nature.
Continue reading "What your sex life says about your voting habits" »
Latest 2 of 12 comments
View all comments-
Paul says:
Go greens! The copycat conservatives in Labor and Lib are running scared.. Laughter. Read more »
-
Charles says:
What I’ve discovered is that if I have a rough melon, don’t have much cash, am below average on the IQ scale, but am a decent root I should look for a partner who is a Labour voter. Oh, and vice versa. Perhaps that explains the ‘cinema’ icon of the… Read more »
Recent ABS figures showed marriage in Australia is becoming more popular, while divorce rates are falling. They also showed the average age we’re getting married has increased to 29.6 for men and 27.7 for women.
For this to be the average, plenty of people are still getting married in their 20s or even late teens – but it’s not for lack of people telling them they’re making a mistake.
It’s rude to tell people they’re making a mistake when they’re buying a house, changing careers, or deciding to have kids. Why, then, is it OK to berate people for getting married when they’re young and in love?
Continue reading "Call me old fashioned, but it’s OK to marry young" »
Latest 2 of 59 comments
View all comments-
Carmen says:
I’m a 20 year old and personally getting married at a young age is not so good. For some (a minority) who are 18 can get married & stay married is very rare. How can a person so young think rationally if physically the human brain is not… Read more »
-
Vonny says:
Maybe the people expressing disapproval at marrying young aren’t actually expressing disapproval. Perhaps they are expressing scepticsm regarding “it’s too good to be true”. There’s so many bad things that happen to people that when they see a good thing, they don’t realise it’s real. I think that despite this,… Read more »
When it comes to the private conduct of public figures, Australians like to have it a bob each way. And that’s not an oblique reference to one of our most accomplished prime ministers both in the parliament and the bedroom.
As a general statement, we say that we don’t much care whether our politicians are cheating on their partners. It’s a badge of honour for us that we’re not like the United States, where the moral majority wields tremendous influence within politics and any hint of infidelity will destroy a career.
Australians just shrug their shoulders and say: well, nobody’s perfect, politicians are human too. You can spare us the lectures from the holy-rollers, most of whom will eventually be sprung inside a $55-a-night Formula One motor inn dressed as Shirley Temple.
Continue reading "Do Australians care if politicians fool around?" »
Latest 2 of 139 comments
View all comments-
jonny says:
it does matter because he clearly can’t be trusted. surely that’s the whole point about being a politician… you have to be trusted… Read more »
-
Frances says:
Well Kate has been exposed now, and as they say what goes around comes around let her feel embarrassed now for exposing herself as well as her former lover. Kate Neill aka Harmony. Hmm not much harmony there. Read more »
Last week at a lunch to console a newly-divorced friend, I decided to lighten her terror at being “the only single woman left on the planet” and relate an interesting new statistic.
“A recent study in the UK found that in 20 years, one in five women currently in their twenties will never have married and will live alone. See, there’ll be millions like us!” I said cheerily.
Looking at my girlfriend’s face, it became apparent she was not quite as enthralled by this statistical tidbit as me. In fact, judging by her open-mouth stare, anyone would think I had just disembowelled a baby panda and was about to start on a litter of puppies.
Continue reading "Millions of happy single people can’t be wrong" »
Latest 2 of 25 comments
View all comments-
june musektt says:
lve always been happy single, but now at 62, a very young 62 i am told, i am beginning to wonder if i did it right, i am a only child my dad is in res care, I recently retired did not want to, but circumstances at work meant i… Read more »
-
Brian says:
Ignoring the actual issue at stake, whenever I see or hear a line of the form “millions of ... can’t be wrong”, I recognize hogwash and incoherence. If there are lots of people who do or believe something, then that implies that there may well be some validity to it,… Read more »
Ok, so now even internet marriages are expected to fail.
No less than two weeks since fifteen million of us watched Jill Petersen and Kevin Hinze’s bridal party dance down the aisle, an American filmmaker has created a parody, divorce version of the video.
Apparently it took just one hour to produce. The Punch posted the original version for some Friday afternoon light relief. And of the eighteen comments posted, about half of the readers took a sentimental view.
Latest 2 of 26 comments
View all comments-
DJ says:
My Grandfather told me “Don’t ever take each other for granted”. Best advice I ever got. Read more »
-
Amanda says:
Believe it or not, Eric and formersnag, I agree with the gist of what you’re both saying, and I’m a woman! I doubt there’s any such thing as true equality in any relationship and all I have ever seen is one selfish partner take advantage of the other’s willingness to… Read more »
When the delegates at the ALP National Conference sat down on Saturday to discuss the issue of same-sex marriage, there’s one question that should have loomed large in their minds: “Which side of history do you want to be on?”
Despite the result, same sex marriage is inevitable in Australia - and a quick analysis of two factors makes this blindingly obvious. The first is the international situation. Seven countries have now introduced same-sex marriage, along will six states of the USA. Just like so many other waves of social reform before it (giving women the vote, decriminalizing homosexuality, etc.) same-sex marriage will spread throughout the western, liberal democracies eventually reaching Australia.
The second factor that makes same-sex marriage inevitable is the demographics.
Continue reading "Gay marriage - which side of history is Labor on?" »
Latest 2 of 26 comments
View all comments-
Hopium says:
Ben - my marriage wasn’t religious. At all. I had it in a park. So does that mean, by your definition, that I am not married? It had no mention of “god”, but threw in some British comedy. Why can’t homosexuals have that? Read more »
-
Chief says:
“All the people who say ‘marriage’ is not a religious instituion are simply wrong. If you want to get married in a church as thousands do or by a Minister of religion then its simply nuts to claim that marriage is not religious.” Marriage was first and foremost a secular,… Read more »
Raised on a diet of Disney movies, contemporary society has become so besotted with the idea of heterosexual romance, marriage and weddings, we fail to see the people for the confetti and happily-ever-afters.
Caught up in a Hollywood version of what constitutes a legitimate union, we’re becoming exclusive, political and discriminatory and overlooking what should be a very basic human right: the right of the individual to form a loving, public and legal commitment to another person and have it civilly sanctioned regardless of sexuality.
I find it fascinating and more than a little bit perplexing, that when it comes to discussions of same-sex unions, those best positioned to provide compassion and understanding resort to straw polls, prejudicial language and silencing tactics to proclaim, yet again, the almighty significance of heterosexual unions.
Continue reading "Marriage: Not that there’s anything wrong with that" »
Latest 2 of 35 comments
View all comments-
Andy says:
No chase it ISNT, face that reality chump. Read more »
-
Chase Stevens says:
@Krammer there’s no such thing as ‘reverse discrimination’. Saying ‘reverse discrimination’ means that whoever is comminting ‘reverse discrimination’ is doing the complete opposite of what discrimination is. While gay marriage may not become a reality in the near future, I’m happy to think that there are a lot of people… Read more »
Staring out at the ocean with a surfboard under my arm, I wondered if I had truly lost the plot. This was no Surfers’ Paradise.
I could feel neither my hands nor my feet, my nose was a block of ice and even my eyelashes were freezing. Breathing was becoming a challenge, too. No, this was not some kind of extreme sports challenge - I was on a hen’s weekend on a glorious spring morning in Cornwall, England.
On this day, however, the seaside town of Newquay more closely resembled a freezing winter’s day alongside the Great Australian Bight. Confused? Let me explain.
Continue reading "Ooo-er, let’s hear it for the saucy English hen’s night" »
Latest 2 of 3 comments
View all comments-
Brian says:
Nice Bunns! Read more »
-
Marty says:
The Poms are bloody good at organising a party. Spend any Saturday night in South London and you’ll see hordes of nutters in fancy dress, living it up and having a great time - Cinderella eating a kebab at 3am was not so attractive, but she looked happy. Read more »
The twin debates currently underway over marriage in Australia have at their core an arrogant and probably homophobic presumption that a miserable heterosexual marriage trumps a spectacularly happy fruity one.
Those who advocate the sanctity of marriage are unwittingly undermining the institution by arguing, on the one hand, that it should be harder for desperately unhappy couples to end their marriage, while also denying the wishes of couples who would be at their happiest if they were allowed to get married.
As a married person of some years, the whole issue leaves me cold, as marriage is the best example of an intensely private arrangement which is subjected to a raft of presumptuous external rules.
Continue reading "In defence of gay marriages, and ending bad straight ones" »
Latest 2 of 44 comments
View all comments-
Kieran says:
Do what you want, I don’t care. As homosexuals want marriage, not civil unions, may I suggest heterosexuals who want exclusivity just change from marriage to civil unions. Problem solved. Next problem. Read more »
-
Steve says:
Krammar, your initiatl premise is a dictionary definition. Everything based on it is illogical - definitions can and do change. Read more »
Women of the world, don’t be fooled. Men can multitask – if they have powerful jobs and are not expected to be faithful.
Silvio Berlusconi, Mark Sanford, Gordon Ramsay and Eliot Spitzer are all superb multi-taskers who check all of these boxes:
Big time job, tick
In the public eye, tick.
Gaining considerable fortunes, tick.
Discovered to be having extra-marital affairs, tick. In some cases, tick tick tick.
Continue reading "Men can multi-task just fine ... in the bedroom" »
Latest 2 of 15 comments
View all comments-
Razor says:
You missed Senator Edwards - playing up on his wife while she is dying from cancer and the media, despite knowing, ignored it while he was running for President of the US. Read more »
-
rufus says:
Richard: I recall when I was at University studying Biology being told by a tutor that a prac class used to do an exercise in genetics by studying the blood types of the students and their parents. This exercise was abandoned by the Uni when it was discovered that a… Read more »
Staring out at the ocean with a surfboard under my arm, I wondered if I had truly lost the plot. This was no Surfers’ Paradise.
Continue reading "Pommy-style Hen’s Night the ultimate form of stimulus" »
Add your comment
Recent posts
The latest and greatest
The Senate protects us from bad government
Governments of either persuasion don’t like it when they don’t get their own way in the Senate. … Read more
Most commented
The talk of the town
- Atheists can do better than saying believers are stupid 227
- Why there is no International Man’s Day 181
- Nation's top scientists agree: the climate is changing now 167
- Token ceremony openings must be brought to an end 35
- The confession manual for a politician's mistress 22
- Yes to housing affordability, but don’t take my home 18
- SA election: A party that can't run itself... 15
- SA election: Why Mike Rann's time is up 10
- The dark side of cute: the truth about puppy farms 9
- The Senate protects us from bad government 1
Punch live
Up to the minute Twitter chatter
RT @_Tors: The political mistress's public confession manual - just posted the imaginary one on The Punch http://bit.ly/9sQssK
Happy St Patrick's Day
RT: @_Tors The political mistress's public confession manual - just posted the imaginary one on The Punch http://bit.ly/9sQssK
Happy St Patrick's Day! What will you be doing to celebrate? Share it here: http://bit.ly/brz2k1#thepunch
Gentle jabs to the ribs
Breaking news: Something is going on
Is this the greatest ever send-up of 24-hour news? Warning: contains strong language and hilarity. From… Read more
Latest 2 of 15 comments
View all commentsAdd your comment