Lotto

Oscar the Spanish farmer deserves an award for bravery. After spending five years in un-imaginable amounts of pain, unable to speak, eat or breathe normally before becoming the world’s first recipient of a full-face transplant.

He appeared in public for the first time since the operation with his sister and a doctor in Barcelona hospital yesterday afternoon. The Australian reports doctors took 24 hours to “lift the donor’s entire face, including jaw, nose, cheekbones, muscles, teeth and eyelids, and placed it mask-like onto the man.” 

Continue reading "Election-Free Zone: Cougar’s marriage crisis blows over" »

The worst kept secret in the gambling world is the statement “the house always wins”. No casino on Earth hides this fact. In fact, they seem to proudly embrace the mantra as an open challenge to morons. And surely in the realm of unashamedly unfair advantages, Lotto is the mother of them all.

There’s an old saying in the poker game, “If you can’t spot the sucker at the table, then the sucker is you”. In the Lotto world, the saying should be “If you’re not the extraordinarily unlikely winner of bucketloads of cash, then you’re an idiot”.

As the Oz Lotto draw that stopped the nation entered its final week and the jackpot hit Def-Con Ridiculous, reportedly half of the adult population of Australia flocked to pay their idiot tax, salivating like St Bernards over the impressive $106 million bone, in the vain hope of striking it rich in the biggest possible way, and being able to tell their bosses once and for all, to shove it.

Continue reading "Win a truckload of cash or just be an idiot" »

With the beginning of the new financial year there are invariably small changes to our lives.

Many of these revolve around money. Things like tax cuts, rate changes and increases in family allowance benefits.

The middle of the year also gives us time for more personal reflection: it’s July and I still haven’t taken the bottles from my April birthday party to the recycling bin – just a random example.

But here is a list of ways that things have changed today and The Punch’s evaluation of whether we’re better off for it.

1. Crappy tax cuts introduced

Kevin Rudd committed to these tax cuts before the last election and now has to go through with them.

The promise was made in the heady days of economic boom time when we enjoyed daily joy rides in limousines with Paris Hilton and wore extinct animals on our heads. Now we’re dressing in possums and the best celebrity we can muster is Kochie giving some sage financial advice: “Here’s one folks, ever thought of knitting your dinner?”

Continue reading "For better or for worse: 10 things that changed today" »

Read it here.

I’d like to think I would be yacht shopping this morning, wearing a cravat, and being followed around by someone I’d hired specifically to top up my champagne flute.

But they’ve gone to work! According to a Lotto spokesperson:

When they got the call this morning solidifying their winnings, they said ‘I was hoping to hear from you this morning’.

They’re a Gold Coast couple so based purely on postcode there’s an increased likelihood $53 million isn’t all that life-changing. But I doubt it.

I’m especially happy for the other guy, who’s being playing Lotto for 20 years and plans to give some of the money to charity.

What would you be doing? Would you be at work?