The following press release just landed on The Punch’s desk. We have decided to publish it in full.
Ja, guten tag and wilkommen to a sneak peek of ze exschiting new Auschtralian media landschcapen.
As you Auschtralians may know, ve here at ze Deutsche media group Bauer have purchased your magazine company ACP because ze private equity firm zat previously owned ACP prefers to lose money on ze markets.
Zis acquisition means a big shake-up. One of ze first changes you vill notice will be in Ze Logies, your glamorous television zeremonie, vich vill now be run with precision like never before. Ve are even considering rewarding zose personalities who actually possess ze talent, ja?
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Voting is now open for TV Week’s Logie Awards, have you got your vote in? No? That’s not surprising. I’m sure that most people in Australia would give the same answer.
It’s strange that we place so much emphasis on these awards in Australia’s television industry. TV Week claims a weekly readership of 759,000, and their key demographic of teenage girls is hardly representative of the Australian population. There’s a reason that Kylie Minogue took out the Gold Logie in 1988 at 19.
And yet until 2011, this key readership was charged with choosing what is classed as ‘the best’ that Australian television has to offer. The process has definitely improved by opening the voting up to everyone via the internet, and not just those that sent in magazine cuttings with their votes. But the fact that we’re making it a popularity contest open to the public is a flawed system.
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Ant Sharwood says: Karl strikes the right chord
Mornings are busy at my place. Brekky, early Punch work with the laptop, school lunches to make, whingey kids, the double dropoff, you name it. As you can imagine, there’s not a lot of time for brekky telly. In fact, it’s banned.
So obviously, I’m hardly the best person to judge Karl Stefanovic. I don’t think I’ve ever actually watched more than five minutes of Today. But just as most people judge politicians on fleeting impressions, Karl has always impressed me when he’s flickered across my radar.
I like Karl. He’s homey without being dumb. He’s intelligent without being a know-it-all. Tough balance to strike, that.
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Tonight is Australian TV’s night of nights – the red carpet love-fest that is the Logies. But really, is there anything worth celebrating about Aussie television?
Yes we’ve got more choice than ever before, with the four major channels boosted by an increasing array of digital and Foxtel offerings.
But choice can be deceptive – and if I had a dollar for every time I clicked the remote these days, I could well have outbid Seven and Foxtel for the rights to AFL. Put simply: there’s nothing worth watching.
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Context/ noun 1. the parts of a discourse or writing which precede or follow, and are directly connected with, a given passage or word. 2. the circumstances or facts that surround a particular situation, event, etc. (Macquarie Dictionary Third Edition).
I’m not a fan of comedians being censored or sacked for going over the top, and think The Age has probably just cut off the most interesting thing about itself. But Catherine Deveny, who likes to think she’s holding up an unforgiving mirror to Australian society, has mounted an intellectually limp defence of her Logies night idiocy.
The belligerent iconoclast has relied on the same weak “out of context” argument, which is usually the fallback of misogynist clerics, the likes of whom Deveny would rightly pillory with relish.
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I love the Logies. Not for the Awards of course. Like most women, I live for the red carpet arrivals at these events. Who’s wearing what, who’s hot, who’s not.
The Logies, more so than any other event in the world, is bound to have the most interesting outfits, purely because the concept of employing a personal stylist hasn’t yet taken off with our celebrities. And that is a fashion blogger’s paradise.
MOST LIKELY TO BE AUDITIONING FOR A SHIRLEY TEMPLE MOVIE: BRYNNE GORDON
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While television has many examples of extreme stupidity – need I remind you of the TV executives who felt that Neighbours and MasterChef had no future on their commercial network – seldom is silliness really embraced with the level of glee suitable for an industry that’s basically just designed to fill in the gaps between the ads.
If today’s newspaper is tomorrow’s chip wrapping then today TV is – poufff – gone as soon as it’s transmitted. Well, unless you set the IQ correctly, and have managed to stop the rest of your family erasing your recording to make space on the hard drive for all of that “Come Dine With Me” marathon.
Thank heavens then for this year’s Logies. Usually TV’s night of nights is an august occasion but this year the organizers have rather let themselves down by allowing a 48 year old man whose sole claims to fame are that he a) wears a rag round his neck; and b) like to eat food and doesn’t mind if people watch, to be nominated for the Logie for best new talent.
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