Mayors are an integral and important part of our political process. Who else would bin the bin emptiers? Who else would wear the oversized ceremonial necklaces? Who else would weigh in ponderously on whether a significant tree is dead or just resting?
So despite the obvious fact that you can put just about anyone in the position, you can’t just put ANYONE in the position. Here is a short list of people who should be ruled out of ever being Mayor of Anywhere.
1. Kim Kardashian. She reportedly wants to run for Mayor of Glendale, California.
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Star Trek. Object of slavish devotion, of cult-like following. And now, site of homo-erotic fantasy.
In this news.com.au article, Peter Farquhar explores the ins and outs of slash fiction, where fans have had their way with reinterpreting the relationship between Captain Kirk and Spock.
It’s the sort of discussion that ranges from puerile and immature cock jokes to seriously in-depth and creative fan freakery.
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In the tonnes of coverage on the Brisbane floods, nobody seems to have filmed or photographed this rather ironic sculpture. The “Flood” sculpture, by artist Richard Tipping, is on the river’s edge at the Brisbane Powerhouse in New Farm. Perhaps because it’s already underwater? Do you know?
Update: 3:10 PM
Well thanks to social media now we do know. The Flood sculpture now neatly marks the flood water line on the Brisbane River.
This is a picture of two snakes getting married. As they do. Well, in Cambodia anyway.
Depending which side of the fence you sit when it comes to huge, scaly, slimy creatures this photograph will either make you laugh, or completely freak you out.
If you’re Cambodian and especially from the Kandal province, 20 kilometers south of Phnom Penh where the marriage ceremony is taking place, you’ll be rejoicing.
This is the best thing we’ve seen in a while. Extreme language warning, not even close to safe for work. Enjoy.
Let’s sack the economists and put this bloke in charge.
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Shortbread and crust-less sandwiches are unlikely arsenal but they’re about to be deployed by an army of angry tea drinkers in a little pocket of Great Britain this weekend and they mean business.
Tomorrow afternoon around the tables of a tiny tea shop in Cambridgeshire, little fingers will be raised in solidarity against a recent fluctuation in “coffee bars” that many fear have contributed to “the lost art of drinking tea”.
“We are losing sense of ourselves with coffee bars like Starbucks and Costa Coffee where you slurp coffee through spouts in paper cups or rushed tea in mugs or chunky cups. The whole experience of sitting down with a proper china cup and saucer and having a good natter - which of course it what used to happen - is in danger of being lost,” says Tania Baker, the owner of By Jove! Tea Rooms in Burrell who is hoping to inspire tea drinkers everywhere with her “very proper” protest that involves dressing in period costume and “taking tea”.
But it could be a very lonely little protest; according to the Telegraph British people still drink approximately 165 million cups of tea everyday and thanks to the growth of retro tea rooms, traditional tea drinking is actually “back in fashion”.
At least they won’t go hungry.
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Growing up we used to call it the “Cadbury” – just one glass and a half of an alcoholic beverage and you’d be gone, but now science has an explanation for why some people get drunk faster than others.
And just like good looks, great hair and natural sporting ability, it seems being good at drinking is something you’re born with.
My brother once wore Ziggy Stardust Bowie make-up to school in year 10 to show his devotion to the great man, but this kid is going to turn into some kinda super stalker fan by the age of 10.
Personally I’m kinda torn on this video because I find eccentric music tastes of children very entertaining, but I also find yuppie parents who only play their kids hipster music very annoying. You can also see the mum manufacturing this thing for a youtube download when she starts asking the child how old he is.
Anyway, ultimately you have to come down on the side of the child that David Bowie is preferable to the other options before him, especially Nick Cave.
(Warning contains screeching of young child)
[Video removed at copyright holder request, 30/11/2011]
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Quick someone hold the babies, Angelina Jolie may about to be trumped in the unabashed pursuit of
profile building philanthropy. Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria, singer LeeAnn Rimes and actor Tim Robbins are just three of the big names giving support to the latest social media craze: TwitChange.
The brainchild of an Atlanta minister seeking new ways to raise money for children of the Haitian community, TwitChange is also the latest way for celebrities to show how much they care, in 140 words of less, just as long as you’re willing to pay for it.
Think you’re having a bad day at work? Then spare a minute for Steven Slater, a Californian flight attendant who made a beeline for the airline shute after an argument with a passenger.
News.com.au reports things got heavy after passenger told Slater to “f-off” when he asked them not to take luggage from the overhead compartment as the plane was moving across the tarmac. An angry Slater responded by grabbing the plane’s public-address system and screaming: “To the f***ing assh**e that told me to f*** off, it’s been a good 28 years!” before taking two beers from the fridge and jumping out of the plane via the inflatible emergency chute.
The airline are said to be investigating the incident but Slater’s friends remain concerned for his well-being: ‘I can’t believe Steve’s on the run,” said one. “He’s like OJ Simpson. He must have snapped.”
Here’s hoping Slater will be found in one piece -but you’ve got to hand it to the guy for refusing to take a bad day lying down.
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Next time you log onto Skype for a quick chat with family and friends, you won’t have to imagine their facial expressions, because researchers at Osaka University in Japan have created Telnoid R1, a robot that can “mimic speech and gestures sent to it by video-phone, replicating a distant caller’s presence”.
News.com.au reports today the Robot was built without hair so as to appear of any age and both female and male but what a pity they forgot to make it actually look human -the $40, 000 doll is distinctly alien-looking.
It’s also expected to be used to combat loneliness, especially in the homes of elderly people. Check out this siumlated coversation between a grandfather and his Telenoid grandson in the video below and tell us what you think. Would it be useful or is it just kind of creepy?
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Today’s Lightweight comes with a warning: these pictures may shock and alarm, do not eat or drink while viewing.
From a distance things looked pretty normal at Berlin Fashion Week. There were bright lights, loud music, crazy artwork and emaciated women in the audience. But peer a little closer at the latest collection from German fashion designer Patrick Mohr and you’ll find it was all just a little more hairy than usual.
Cue: “bearded ladies”!
The Daily Telegraph reports today that while the “bald and bearded” models strutting down the catwalk were a “strange way to sell clothes” it’s also not the first time the German designer has shocked the fashion world with “the way he presents his designs”. “Homeless people”, “transvestites” and “sun tanned bodybuilders” have appeared in previous shows.
But don’t worry, it’s not real. Here’s a picture of the models being “made up” behind the scenes:
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Meet the Naked Cowboy. He’s the scantily dressed country singing, guitar playing busker usually found in Times Square, New York and currently embroiled in a legal battle with the “Naked Cowgirl” after she “copied his look”.
The story goes that cowboy Robert Burck, who earns up to US$1000 per day from busking in his jocks and a Stetson, has sued cowgirl Sandy Kane, who also performs in the Square wearing only a bikini while playing the guitar, after accusing her of stealing his idea, a significant proportion of his profits and “sullying” his name.
New York Daily News reports Burck’s lawyer has accused Kane, an ex-stripper of “devaluing an American brand and Icon” and the “wholesome nature” of the show through her own cowgirl style antics. According to the lawsuit she “has been observed using visual profanity (flipping the bird at the camera) when photographing with people in Times Square,” in a manner that is “inconsistent” with the way “the Naked Cowboy conducts business.”
Burck says despite asking Kane several times over a period of two years for a franchising fee, she had ignored all his requests: “I’m an easy going guy, but this was really a last resort,” he said. Whatever the outcome of the lawsuit, there’s got to be a country song in that somewhere…
She’s always been beautiful but there’s been something different about Dannii Minogue since the birth of new born son, Ethan. Maybe it’s just the glow of a happy new mum, but there’s definitely a change in the contours and colour of her face and skin and it’s a lot more natural.
Compare the photo below, that she posted on Twitter a couple of days after the birth, with the shot further down the page, taken last year when she was a host on Australia’s Got Talent. Can you spot the difference? Whatever it is, we think it’s really working for her.
Hollywood divorce stories usually fall into three categories. The good-for-a-laugh-because-they-have-more-money-than-sense kind of story, the too-painful-to-read-story-of-betrayal (most recently, Sandra Bullock) and the unbelievable-jaw-dropping-can-they-really-do-that, kind. The subjects of today’s Lightweight are an example of the third kind.
Cue Diandra Douglas, the 52 year old ex-wife of actor Michael Douglas, who is claming half of the profits from his latest movie, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps.
The Herald Sun reports that the ex-Mrs Douglas is, “citing a provision in the couple’s 2000 divorce that promises half the profits of any movies done by her famous husband during their two decades as man and wife -including residuals, merchandising and ancillary rights.”
But Mr Douglas, 65 years of age and currently married to Catherine Zeta Jones, is not having any of it. He’s arguing that his latest flick is a “sequel” and not a “spin-off” of the 1987 original and therefore, doesn’t count. And it’s a fair retaliation, when you consider that he’s reported to have already paid his ex-wife approximately $US45 million in their original divorce settlement.
But what do you think? Does she have a right to the money or not?
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The Kristina Keneally flicky haircut craze has made it all the way to Africa and reached the animal kingdom.
The Punch discovered this picture of an African buffalo which looks uncannily like the NSW Premier. It has not been photoshopped or retouched at all, and can be seen in its original form at this website.
As part of our commitment to destroying workplace productivity, we encourage readers to send in any shots they can find of animals which look like politicians - a tapir that looks like Tony Abbott, a fruitbat that looks like Kevin Rudd, an Irish Setter that looks like Julia Gillard, a parakeet that looks like Doug Anthony…you name it.
Sure, he might have a quirky sense of personal style, last seen on Keith Floyd, circa 1970. And you’d be hard pressed to find anyone fussier in the kitchen, but would you really call Matt Preston a wanker?
Ralph magazine certainly seems to think so. They’ve put Preston at the top of their annual list of 100 wankers - beating Kevin Rudd, Tony Abbott, Brian McFadden and even Iceland’s Eyjafjallajokull volcano.
“The guy needs to chill out and eat some cheese on toast once in a while,” Raph editor Pintado Santi told News.com.au.
“He’s pompous. And he’s everywhere, is there anything he’s not selling at the moment, he’s got CDs, cookbook.”
But to be fair, the guy’s also done a lot for the way Australians look at food. Not since Gabriel Gate has a bloke been more willing to go on national television and stick up for high standards in the kitchen.
He may like colourful scarves, but he’s making a convincing case for why it’s important to put some effort into what we eat and how we cook it. What’s so bad about that?
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Fight! Fight! Fight!
Hundreds of people have complained to British media regulator Ofcom about the heated exchange between Sky News political editor Adam Boulton and former Blair adviser Alistair Campbell, captured in the video above.
The Guardian reported that the interview between the two men “errupted into a spectacular bunfight” with the news anchor telling Mr Campbell ““I’m fed up with you telling me what I think” and also included a number of pointed finger-jabs.
Many of the complaining members of the British public were said to have been offended by Adam Boulton’s lack of “professionalism” during the exchange. But what do you think? Watch the video and share your thoughts here.
Lara Bingle’s recently discovered that she only has three real friends to call on in her time of need, but at least she’s capable of doing the right thing when it comes to engagement break-up etiquette.
As she told the Daily Telegraph this morning, she didn’t think twice about giving the $200, 000 ring back to Michael Clarke:
“I felt it was the right thing to do. It cost a lot of money and he works so hard to achieve what he does, I just thought that was the best thing.”
And according to The Knot wedding website that’s exactly what she should do. Because while legally there’s no real reason why you should hand it back, good etiquette demands that you do.
Even so, have you seen the ring? What would you do?
Move over, Milt Jackson - it’s Tony Abbott on the vibes.
Thanks to reader Bundy Trauma for this uncanny doppleganger.
OK, so that’s a slight exaggeration of what she actually said, but everyone else is swearing this week. And it’s also not that far off the sentiment of Sharon Osborne’s (wife of wild-man Ozzy) latest outburst, that was aimed directly at us.
Today’s Courier Mail reports that Osborne, while appearing as a judge of US show Celebrity Apprentice, wasted no time in voicing her opinion of Aussie chef Curtis Stone and then Australians in general.
Here’s how it happened:
Donald Trump to Sharon Osborne: “What do you think of Curtis Stone.”
Sharon Osborne: “He’s very smug.”
Cyndi Lauper: “He’s Australian!”
“Yeah, I know,” Osbourne responded. ‘Put another shrimp on the Barbie” . He is too smug for me”.
“Are all Australian’s like that?,” a surprised Ivanka Trump asked.
“Yeah, usually, yeah,” Osbourne responded.
Sharon could be pining for the good old days of colonial rule and would like to see us Aussies put back in our place. But I think she’s just plain rude.
What about you, what do you make of what she said. Are we smug?
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Disclaimer: Any resemblance to the case unfolding in Aspen involving Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller, is purely coincidental.
Once upon a time a man named Charlie met a beautiful woman called Brooke and they were married in a sumptuous ceremony.
The first 180 days of their marriage were happy ones and Brooke felt like a princess.
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Well at least one of the long-standing battles between the sexes can be put to rest. British researchers have revealed that it’s women, not men, who are less likely to get lost in unfamiliar places. Yes, women.
Today’s Daily Telegraph reports that while men still hold the advantage when it comes to map-reading skills, women’s ability to “remember landmarks” helps them to reach their destination quickly.
Frank Furedi of the research team:
“Women develop a certain intuition and act upon them whereas men tend to over-complicate things.”
It’s a good assessment but I think the researchers left out a pretty crucial part of this study - where’s the explanation for why men never ask directions from passers-by?
Like her mother-in-law before her, Laura Bush, wife of George W has written a memoir about life - before and during - her White House years.
“Spoken from the Heart” is the name of the book and according to publisher Scribner it will provide readers with:
“A rare witness to the private moments of one of our country’s most consequential presidencies, and as a first lady who has maintained a notable level of discretion, her memoir will provide a candid and personal perspective, and an enduring record, of the years that have already determined the course of the 21st century.”
It’s also said to reveal some of the First Lady’s most “dark” and “guilty” secrets, including details of how she killed a school friend in a car crash when she was 17.
And for anyone not committed to the idea of reading the book in its entirety, US website The Daily Beast has put together a 12-point “speed read” of the most “suprising revelations”.
What do you think, would you read it?
As the entire nation stood marvelling at the smouldering ruins of the Melbourne Storm, a couple of things happened in federal politics - through some zany coincidence, at the exact same time Kevin Rudd announced that he’d completely scrapped the botched insulation scheme and had dumped his promise to build another 222 childcare centres.
With tomorrow’s newspapers now being put to bed - filled with screeds of copy not just on the NRL crisis but the bashing murder of Carl Williams - these are the remaining 10 announcements we’re expecting from Kev this afternoon.
1. Minor late-night adjustment to the Constitution means Western Australia is now an eastern province of South Africa. Health takeover implemented.
2. ANZAC Day will be held on Monday because Kochie rang and asked if they could show it on Sunrise.
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It’s not often that you’ll find humour in real estate but try this advertisment on for size. The lucky future owners of this country pile in New South Wales will be getting something for nothing.
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Ever been stuck without a bottle opener? Well don’t despair. Watch this bunch of crazy French revelers show off their unique and highly convenient method for opening wine.
Feeling the hours passing more slowly at work? Watching the clock and looking for inspiration?
Watch this video from five office workers in Washington who’ve found a unique way to pass the time.
It’s a like a history lesson coated in chocolate, and it’s got nothing to do with Godwin Grech, Kevin Rudd or Malcolm Turnbull.
Invent a silly catchphrase. Take to ridiculous extremes. Publish on internet. Watch as it becomes a minor sensation.
This is doing the rounds today.
Maybe it’s just me, but I think it’s a bit meow meow meow.
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