Somewhere amid the fanfare over his ability to speak fluent Mandarin and his merciless work ethic, it has slipped by unnoticed that Kevin Rudd shares the all-important first letter of the Kardashian klan. Err sorry, that should be clan.
From mum Kris to daughter Kim and assorted siblings, only names beginning with K will suffice. Even the romantic bit players (Kris, Kanye) are expected to conform to this peculiar preoccupation with the 11th member of the alphabet.
But it is not here that the similarities end between the world’s most famous reality family and Australia’s most famous on-again/off-again prime minister.
In recent days both Kim Kardashian and the former Labor leader have taken to social media to share baby snaps of loved ones in what, in both instances, was a thinly veiled exercise in self-promotion.
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We call it having a baby. But when you are Kim Kardashian, getting knocked up is a “license to print money” and an opportunity to “take your brand to the next level”.
Welcome to the world of the billion-dollar celebrity baby.
If you thought the hoo-haa surrounding the birth of Brangelina’s twins was completely insane, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.
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Who knew dating a Kardashian could prove detrimental? If modern popular culture has taught us anything, it’s that reality TV can turn even the most mundane of families into a multi-million dollar business.
And yet the entertainment industry is buzzing with reports that Kanye West’s decision to cosy up to self-promoting extraordinaire Kim Kardashian is damaging his music career.
That’s right, embarking on a relationship with a woman best known for starring in a sex tape and selling coverage of her 72-day marriage to the highest bidder doesn’t seem to have boosted West’s credibility. Who would have guessed?
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Mayors are an integral and important part of our political process. Who else would bin the bin emptiers? Who else would wear the oversized ceremonial necklaces? Who else would weigh in ponderously on whether a significant tree is dead or just resting?
So despite the obvious fact that you can put just about anyone in the position, you can’t just put ANYONE in the position. Here is a short list of people who should be ruled out of ever being Mayor of Anywhere.
1. Kim Kardashian. She reportedly wants to run for Mayor of Glendale, California.
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I hardly ever keep my New Year’s Resolutions, including the last two, which were Don’t Make Any More New Year’s Resolutions and Don’t Write About Making Resolutions Around The End Of December. Even my Only Drink Stirred Martinis (Not Shaken) resolution looked a bit shaky around June, when I didn’t keep my eye on a barman that had a rebellious streak and a twitchy hand.
So I’ve decided that this year, I’m just making resolutions that are impossible to keep. That way, I figure by the end of the year I might have some kind of a record – 100 per cent of my resolutions broken. A real achievement.
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In the past week over 400 people have died in floods in Thailand, three Australian soldiers were killed in Afghanistan and the European economy teetered on the verge of collapse. But most devastating of all was the news that Kim Kardashian’s marriage was in disarray after just 72 days.
Australia’s commercial networks and newspapers almost fell into the trap of misreading the break-up as a pointless, inane, staged piece of nonsense, but then came to their senses and ran blanket coverage of the story for three days.
Things could’ve got much, much worse though. There was the chance the vacuous, money-hungry, talentless reality TV star could have pulled out of her promotional tour to Australia, opening up the possibility that some media outlets would have to resort to reporting serious news.
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Think Kim Kardashian is nothing more than a walking, talking exercise in narcissism and lip gloss?
After all, she’s a reality TV starlet famous for having thought it was a good idea to film herself having sex with a little known rapper - and for her eye-poppingly clingy dresses. But don’t be too quick to write Kim off. Because if you dig down beneath the trowelled-on layers of makeup you’ll find just the kind of modern woman who should get the tick of approval from the sisterhood.
Don’t be confused by the drag queen eyes and slightly terrifying décolletage - Kim Kardashian is a savvy entrepreneur, someone who speaks her mind and is vocally proud of her curvy figure.
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RIP Lady Gaga, Kim Kardashian, Justin Timberlake, Usher, Serena Williams, and Elijia Wood. For today at least, they are dead, digitally speaking.
They are amongst a host of celebrities who have signed on to stage their “digital death,” that is, they have temporarily pulled the plug on their Twitter and Facebook lives until their loyal followers stump up $1 million for World AIDS Day.
But this cyber stunt raises an interesting possibility – what if we like this blessed silence? What if we find we don’t crave their incessant inanities and misspelt, mangled English?
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