Karaoke

As many great Australians and members of The Punch team would do after achieving a great success, on Sunday evening Novak Djokovic picked up a microphone and had a go at karaoke.

Djokovic belted out a few bars of Accadacca’s Highway to Hell post-match. Are you a karaoke’er? If so, what’s your song? My tune is Kanye West’s Gold Digger . Pity everyone who has been subjected to it. Members of The Punch team who will remain anonymous are known to practice their songs months before planned karaoke events*.

It’s Wednesday and we’re well on the highway to Friday. What’s on your mind, Punchers?

*Disclosure: The 2011 Punch Christmas party revolved around a particularly seedy karaoke bar in inner-city Sydney.

This handy ready-reckoner is offered in the spirit of the silly season for those of you with a song in your heart at the tail end of a night out. I have now been to karaoke a couple of times and quite enjoy it - I think you’ll enjoy it too.

Rule one: Full action.

This is a term coined by a karaoke-obsessed Indonesian journalist called Donny Dahono, the first bloke to ever drag me along to karaoke, who would explode with rage if the singer remaining seated, turned away from the crowd, or offered anything less than what he defined as “full action”. Donny makes a crucial point. None of us can really sing anyway so why not over-compensate with stage presence? Also, to use a radio term, there should never be any “dead air”. When you get in make sure everyone has a song lined up and wait your turn for the first hour, before taking on all-comers in a shameless bid to sing everything.

Continue reading "The twelve rules of karaoke" »