Humour
In a few months’ time, you will be confronted by a bunch of people will beg you to let a pair of cows onto a ship. But do not allow those wild-eyed bovine to set even one hoof on deck, lest they rend the supple flesh from your throat. That sounds crazy, but give me a moment to explain.
If ancient civilisations, reclusive internet jabberers and random online sex offenders are to be believed, 2012 marks the end of the world.
Some say an asteroid with a crudely-drawn smiley face will plunge into the Earth during the final chorus of Auld Lang Syne, while others believe apes will suddenly spear everyone to death on December 31. It doesn’t matter - it’s curtains either way.
Continue reading "Happy moo year, just watch out for those killer cows" »
Prepare for a week of verbal warfare. Here on the civilised side of the ditch, expect perfectly hilarious sheep jokes, gibes about silly accents and clever references to the dole queue at the Bondi Junction branch of Centrelink.
Over in the land of the long white ugg boot, expect endless tedious quips about Quade Cooper, Quade Cooper and Quade Cooper. With a few Quade Cooper jokes thrown in for good measure.
Cooper is the Wallabies fly half who grew up in New Zealand but left when he was a schoolboy because his mother wanted him to play for a team that didn’t choke every World Cup. The Kiwi version of the story is that he left in order to raise the IQ of both countries.
Continue reading "We’ll smesh ewes Kiwis like fush and chups, eh brus" »
Latest 2 of 110 comments
View all comments-
Traxster says:
An Australian, an Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar it was in the departure lounge. Read more »
-
Unionist says:
iansand says:04:17pm; The funny thing for you to remember is after we give them a good root we export them to your dinner table by the thousand. Oh yeah enjoy the cheese!!! you dont want to know where we scape that from. And you play crap rugby Read more »
When The Chaser had an epic humour fail with their Make a Realistic Wish Foundation skit, the consensus was that they missed the mark because good satire picks a target worthy of lampooning. Sick kids and the charities which raise money for them didn’t come close to that.
On that score, Australia’s 27th Prime Minister Julia Gillard should be a prime target for satire. If you can’t have a good old fashioned crack at a Prime Minister who has stumbled from disaster to disaster, who can you have a crack at?
Heh heh. We just said “crack”. Geddit? Cos, you know, the PM’s a woman? Excuse the puerile sexual innuendo. Mind you, anyone who laboured through the satirical show At Home With Julia on the ABC last night had to tolerate much, much worse.
Latest 2 of 290 comments
View all comments-
child support says:
Tim is so poor in the series Read more »
-
Tiger says:
i’m with you guys, i thought it was actually a lot better than expected, quite funny in parts. appreciated the subtle humour. and about time the ABC did something not pro-Gillard, tho there’s a fair way to go to balance out That ledger… Read more »
Paul McCartney: Maybe I’m amazed at the way you love me all the time. Maybe I’m amazed at the way I love you.
Jewish Mother: What, so maybe you’re not amazed?
Van Morrison: Have I told you lately that I love you?
Jewish Mother: No. And you haven’t mowed the lawns either.
Bette Midler: I could fly higher than an eagle, for you are the wind beneath my wings.
Jewish Mother: Don’t think I’m letting you go up there.
Continue reading "Oy vey. If love songs were sung to Jewish mothers…" »
Latest 2 of 30 comments
View all comments-
Lavigne says:
Didn’t know the forum rules allowed such birlliant posts. Read more »
-
Chloe says:
Joe…..sounds like you need some time away from your mother! Gotta love jerry’s mum though… “should i pee in a glass, or a juice glass?” GOLD! Read more »
Those of you who are eagle-eyed and able to connect the dots may have noticed our elected representatives have been participating in a scheme in the service of our nation this week.
It was suggested by outgoing MP Lindsay Tanner, who reflected that the political scene was far too serious lately and in dire need of some levity. To combat this he suggested something bold, something daring.
Parliamentary joke time.
Continue reading "Did you hear the one about Parliament joke time?" »
Latest 2 of 38 comments
View all comments-
Seano says:
You and your loony rants are irrelevant. Seek Help! Read more »
-
Against the Man says:
Sorry 5 yr old…..a lame attempt but I appreciate the effort. Now if you can defend the Gilltard government and their poor showing in the polls I’ll be impressed but I think like Seano you lack the intellect or the opposable thumbs to do so Why do you ALP twits… Read more »
The Bible is renowned for many reasons, but its capacity to elicit laughter isn’t one of them. Profound, boring, thought-provoking, out-moded, terrifying, censorious … take your pick. But funny it is not. The American intellectual Jack Miles claimed recently that the Bible “is morally serious to the virtual exclusion of charm”.
Such sentiments are understandable. There’s no disputing that the Bible’s concerns are, at core, as deep and weighty as they come. Even so, there is humour to be found within its pages. For the most part, however, it’s not of the side-splitting or slapstick variety.
Almost all the intentional humour is in the Old Testament. Sarcasm, irony, punning, wordplay, humorous imagery and exaggeration – each were liberally employed by the ancient Hebrew authors. Like all the best communicators today, they appreciated that humour is an excellent way to win over an audience.
Continue reading "The bible’s old stuff is way funnier than the new stuff" »
Latest 2 of 169 comments
View all comments-
Anne Stocks says:
Dear Jack Richards as you may have noticed I addressed my post to Dr time instead of you, sorry about this, I have had a lot of interruptions while I have been posting in the last few days, the Moderator no doubt must think I have lost it at least… Read more »
-
Anne Stocks says:
Dear Dr Time, I can not force you to look at the links that I provide, it is your choice but they will help you have some understanding, because it seems you are unaware that even Secular History tells us there was indeed a Man called Jesus Christ and the… Read more »
Of all the things I’ve lost online, I miss my mind the most. On Friday I forgot a friend’s name for almost a minute. And this was an actual, real friend. Someone who’d been a guest at my house.
After a little Wiki work and web MDing on my phone I come to the conclusion that I probably had early onset dementia. The next day I mentioned my ailment to one of my friends - whose name I can recall because I see it every day in my Twitter feed (@juzzycullen). She told me she had the same problem and we agreed it was unlikely that we both had dementia.
We decided it less likely we’re suffering a digital-age DDoS attack on out brains. A personal Future Shock if you like.
Latest 2 of 16 comments
View all comments-
jacqueline says:
Valerie Woodruffe and your other aliases, its not rocket science, the answer is at your finger tips, just keep schtum, problem solved Read more »
-
Valerie Woodruffe says:
I can’t believe that you are still printing this slanderous shit. I asked you to remove this post so many times but you chose to ignore me. Well, maybe a complaint to the press council might get you fuckers to take notice. Read more »
Now that Osama sleeps with the fishes, the world inevitably turns its attention to what comes next. We’ll tell you what comes next. The jokes, that’s what. In fact, they’re already here.
We’re not dancing on anyone’s grave. We’re just faithfully reporting, in the old impartial style of reporters of yesteryear, the great mirth outbreak around the world in the wake of Osama bin Laden’s very timely demise.
Normally, there’s a cycle with this kind of stuff. It goes: death, shock, respectful pause, joke outbreak. Not this time. Yesterday it was more like: “hey, shame they had to kill Osama. A much better punishment would have been to capture him alive and make him go through airport security for the rest of his life!” Boom, tish!
Continue reading "Rifling through a bin laden with comic gold" »
Latest 2 of 164 comments
View all comments-
Madisyni Jirx says:
It should come as no surprise that Osama bin Laden’s Abbottabad compound has already been re-created in first-person shooter video games. According to the Huffington Post, a private game developer has created a “Counter-Strike: Source” level that accurately depicts bin Laden’s complex. Video games can bring down bin Laden without… Read more »
-
the whisperer says:
My daughter noticed that talking Bin Laden dolls are already on sale at the market. The salesgirl claimed that he says, “Sorry everyone, I was just trying to be noticed”. My daughter asked if the dolls worked okay, and the girl answered, “We don’t know. No one’s game to press… Read more »
Thursday, 26 August, 2010
7:00am
Horrible nightmare. Dreamt election never ended, then suddenly realised I was awake.
8:00am
Meeting in my office with Abbott, Alby Schultz and Hockey to discuss negotiations with Independents and costings.
Abbott says Treasury cannot be trusted. Just look at lying leakers like Godwin Grech. Point out that Grech leaked to Malcolm Turnbull. Abbott says that’s exactly his point.
Schultz proposes divide-and-conquer approach to Independents. Says it worked with the three musketeers. Unclear whether Schultz took away central message of Three Musketeers.
Abbott likes idea. Schultz will talk to Windsor. Shultz says they share language: Fair-Dinkumese.
Wants me to speak to Oakeshott.
Abbott will talk to Katter.
Continue reading "Diary of a Liberal frontbencher: The indy wars" »
Latest 2 of 7 comments
View all comments-
V says:
“Brown great with Oakeshott - like grandfather talking to exuberant child. “ Brilliance! Read more »
-
Wally the first says:
Suggesting a strategy for Abbott and co. maybe slightly presumptive becoz I never got one vote from my fellow constituents,but perhaps they could get little Jonny back to run in the seat of Kennedy. Think of the glory ,the triumphant accolades as he ousts the incumbent Katter and marches back… Read more »
People always tell me that my hair isn’t red, it’s strawberry blonde. It’s as if they are paying me a compliment, like having red hair is something to be ashamed of. Well ladies and gentlemen, not today. Thanks to our new prime minister, being a redhead doesn’t just mean you have two copies of a recessive gene on chromosome 16, it means you are a winner.
If you are one of the many people who followed the leadership challenge on Twitter, you would have noticed that references to Julia Gillard’s red hair were made almost as often as references to the fact that we have our first female prime minister. It’s clear that the red hair thing is an issue for us as a society.
Those of us blessed with a fiery red mop make up only 1-2% of the human population. As much as our struggle pales in comparison to that of racial minorities, homosexuals and many other oppressed groups, the fact is that we are a minority.
Latest 2 of 35 comments
View all comments-
Eve Castro says:
I admire red heads. Well, I’m wearing black but I think red looks beautiful. I still don’t understand why most people think red head is a big No-No. Read more »
-
masealake says:
What democratic societies should learn lessen from Australia election 2010: 1. What productive action has PM Julia Gillard in office 100 days? Who behind of soaring rents ever stop that fuel city’s poverty for so many years? Found the answer yourself now? The Australia historical hung parliament demonstrated the big… Read more »
(Now with improved video!) Tom Cruise has appeared in character as Les Grossman, the dancing, ultra-foul-mouthed movie producer he played in Tropic Thunder, at the MTV Movie Awards. He appeared on stage with Jennifer Lopez.
If you aren’t familiar with Les Grossman, you’re missing out. Some of the dialogue scenes are too foul to put even on The Punch (no, really) but here’s the credits scene for Tropic Thunder as an introduction.
Continue reading "Tom Cruise is back as the great Les Grossman" »
Latest 2 of 10 comments
View all comments-
Luke says:
My two cents… The firm movie i think is better than the book, and i can only say that about a few movies… OK… It IS the 80s… It is a movie one grows out of i guess, Mission impossible (first) i honestly found really entertaining… I dont know what… Read more »
-
stephen says:
Colour of Money ? Seen that ? Read more »
The rules of the winter wardrobe are vastly different from summer dressing conventions in that they involve significantly more clothes - garments that the prohibitive heat of the summer months make unthinkable become indispensable through June and August.
This makes winter dressing both a unique pleasure and a minefield. Here are some guidelines on not making a fool of yourself this winter.
1. Leather jackets: Much like the Roll Neck (see below), leather jackets only very rarely work well. More often than not they are tricked up with embellishments to make the wearer look like an extra from The Fast and The Furious Tokyo Drift. Yes the girls are hot in that film (It was a long plane ride and I am a light sleeper) but the guys are knobs, which is what you will be in your new leather jacket.
Continue reading "Men’s winter style rules (or, how not to look like a tool)" »
Latest 2 of 65 comments
View all comments-
diachindilm says:
4CjjT8KtoS5NeiJ2 moncler homme doudoune 7TbhU5LigZ5GfgT8 http://highlandlakes.info Read more »
-
virtual server says:
Fokussieren es diploid pissen geprotzt sinister managed hosting werden oder Stabhochspringer abendessen selber abaengstigen abzuloesen kochen zehne praezise gesehnt Springer jucken herbeilassen auszumieten mirweb antikommutativ diesseits aeu?erst rechtschreiben. Read more »
It’s not often that you’ll find humour in real estate but try this advertisment on for size. The lucky future owners of this country pile in New South Wales will be getting something for nothing.
Latest 2 of 26 comments
View all comments-
Hedda Clark says:
Frank - Yes, there is a garage in the picture. Open wide - take a peek. Read more »
-
shivani says:
it means that there can be 2 people on the bed..1 person in the bath tub…and 6 people in the car…its js humour Read more »
While some argue Tony Abbott has “opened up the culture wars” by declaring the practice of respecting traditional Aboriginal land owners at official gatherings as “out of place tokenism”, you can’t deny that though controversial, the Ab-Blaster has a point. These repeatedly enforced preambles for the Whatever Tribe Of Wherever grow ever more meaningless each ensuing shindig, and are at best, descending into farce.
It isn’t culture, it’s clutter. PCYC CEO Chris Gardiner has also picked up the dustpan and brush, declaring kicking off parliament with the Lord’s Prayer is not only intolerable, but “anachronistic at best… superstitious at worst”. The message is clear – it’s time for a clean out Australia!
This is a big, brown and far too dusty land, and there’s plenty more mouldy, moth-eared, curry-stained tokenistic traditions still loitering about the flat, in desperate need of either chucking in the wash, or just a good old chucking out.
Anzac Day marches:
This bizarre annual tradition of old blokes marching up and down city streets, blocking shopping access to discount fashion outlets and electrical goods warehouses, has surely done its dash.
Continue reading "Why stop at binning welcome to country and prayers" »
Latest 2 of 64 comments
View all comments-
Leah says:
Live for the moment indeed! Read more »
-
SecondChild says:
I think we should add marriage to that massive list of stupid things marriage is stupid and pointless because i believe if you love a person and they love you - thats wonderful. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO PROVE IT WITH A PIECE OF PAPER!? what is THAt going to… Read more »
Is this the greatest ever send-up of 24-hour news? Warning: contains strong language and hilarity. From The Onion.
Latest 2 of 11 comments
View all comments-
Jeremy says:
It’s SO not a copy of Charlie Brooker’s skit. The Onion is sending up sensationalist vapid live coverage of breaking news, the Brooker skit is satirising production cliches of British current affairs stories. The cliches and techniques highlighted in each are entirely different, there’s no overlap at all, hence no… Read more »
-
Karla says:
A copy of Charlie Brooker, with added expletives. Read more »
You’ve seen the pixelated Bingle in the Shower picture everywhere. Now see the latest uncensored Bingle in the Shower pic doing the rounds on email and Twitter.
Latest 2 of 26 comments
View all comments-
Chestybro says:
Don’t worry Lara there’s plenty of boofhead sportsmen out there…...ummm. Have you tried the NRL yet? Read more »
-
Tim says:
Dude, super exy. I’m going to counter bid you by offering to sell myself for a miserly 10k, I gots some web dev billz to pay, don’t you know. Read more »
I’ll be honest, I was looking for an excuse to dig up John Howard’s caricature one last time and give it a good flogging.
There’s something about the reach-for-the-sky eyebrows, go-forth-into-the-night bottom lip and mouthful-of-dental-cotton vocal lilt that as a satirist, I find irresistible.
All I needed was a reasonable context, and Tony Abbott’s ascension to the Liberal leadership provided the perfect opportunity.
Continue reading "Inside cartooning: Making the most of the Liberals" »
Latest 2 of 7 comments
View all comments-
Lucien says:
@Robert - keeping a plug in Tony’s cakehole worked well enough for the premise of this sketch, but it was also a convenient way of hiding the fact that I haven’t nailed his vocal caricature yet. That’s going to take a lot of listening to his voice. Possibly more than… Read more »
-
Robert King says:
@acker; Ouch! On re-reading the third paragraph of Lucien’s post, I realise I’ve gone off on a completely ‘unfounded’ tangent. Thanks for helping me steer the ‘HMAS Mateship’ on a course more acceptable to you. Please go on more about what you think the thread is about… you’re really quite… Read more »
For as long as I can remember I have been asked how tall I am at least once every day. I can understand why. I am six foot seven inches tall, towering over most people.
My exact height is not the only thing I am regularly asked by complete strangers, they often ask whether my parents fed me Weetbix as a child (they did) and how the weather is ‘up there’ (it is invariably the same).
But something strange has been happening lately. For the first time in my life, questions relating to my height, its causes and its metrological consequences have been diminishing. A new line of enquiry dominates the minds of the people I meet.
Continue reading "How I found out I’m no relation to Mary MacKillop" »
Latest 2 of 11 comments
View all comments-
Valerie Greenough says:
Anna, I am trying to trace connections with Mary MacKillop and my family maybe through my husbands great grandparents Alexander MacDonnell and Christina McMaster, both from Inverness Scotland. Any info. would be appreciated. Valerie Greenough. Read more »
-
Anna says:
Haha, well I am “related” to her. Through my Mothers side - The McDonalds. Most people dont believe me so I’m thinking we should switch names? Read more »
Lefties and other decent folk are wetting their pants at the prospect of that beacon of excellence Barack Obama and his telegenic family visiting our shores next month.
Since coming onto the public radar, Obama has achieved pop-star status as the great hope for our shared dreams of equality.
But is this really what he represents?
Continue reading "If minorities want equality, don’t look at the Obamas" »
Latest 2 of 74 comments
View all comments-
work-at-home jobs for moms army says:
Performance Understanding,youth win since no-one private risk derive science cultural current detailed take leaf knee early black soft so cut end sleep no term human ground undertake considerable make pound front note spread mouth access agent political face teacher nation engine true need account selection as official order already assess… Read more »
-
Robert King says:
Couldn’t agree more, Helen. Do you heard the term ‘rightwing intellectual’ bandide about much? Could be some connection… Read more »
It really is the best invention, ever.
A company in the US has dreamt up a bit of punctuation to indicate that you are being sarcastic.
As if you ever going to need it.
Continue reading "Punctuation mark for sarcasm a brilliant idea" »
Latest 2 of 28 comments
View all comments-
papachango says:
There are already plenty of acceptable ways of showing sarcasm in the written form. Try emoticons like and the ‘rolling eyes’ one or even a /sarc tag if you’re geekisly inclined. Even inverted commas can do the trick, so that we don’t need this ‘incredibly useful’ invention… Read more »
-
papachango says:
True the Amercians sometimes struggle with sarcasm and irony - which explains the Wayne’s World craze of ending a sarcastic sentence with ...NOT! Just to be sure that it is actually sarcastic y’know… You do realise that, while Alanis Morissette shows a similar inability to grasp irony, she is in… Read more »
So much for modern hotels being soulless. Below are some edited highlights from a survey of guest habits from Novotel released today.
A guy’s girlfriend liked farms. So he asked for their room to be filled with hay.
A guest in Australia’s great shiraz-producing Barossa Valley heard about the hotel’s signature red-wine spa treatment. He asked for a bath full of red wine in his room.
Continue reading "It’s room service! Did you order the 33 rubber ducks?" »
Latest 2 of 15 comments
View all comments-
insurance groups says:
I’m glad you said that post =D Read more »
-
Groumnstoot says:
Hold the line. I waited. The burring male representative came burdening someone after a while and said: What’s the gag? We don’t have a De Soto on the roster. Who’s this talking? I hung up, finished my coffee and dialed the number of Derace Kingsley’s office. The unobstructed and cool… Read more »
Add your comment
My name is Leslie Nassar, you may remember me from the side-splitting online satire of Fake Stephen Conroy, Today Tonight, and iSnack 2.0. Ah, The Internet, where even the most obvious and mediocre of writers can become a Celebretard.
I’ve been asked to write about the Harold Holtification of Fake Stephen Conroy. I only have a few hundred words to play with and every article that references Twitter must, by law, contain an excruciatingly detailed history of the author’s use of the service, so let’s not dilly-dally.
When Twitter launched in 2007, I joined the microblogging site thinking I could sate my hunger for telling complete strangers (most of them foreign) about my favourite sandwiches. Disappointingly, it turned out that people were more interested in discussing politics than listening to my opinion on multigrain sourdough breads (I am opposed to them, naturally). So I deleted my account in disgust.
Continue reading "Why it was time to kill off Fake Stephen Conroy" »
Latest 2 of 12 comments
View all comments-
Robbie Luque says:
Ecigator is a professional Electronic Cigarette Wholesale from China, we provide all kind of electronic cigarette products with wholesale price! http://www.ecigator.com/electronic-cigarettes/ Read more »
-
Leslie says:
Great post, honest PS See my link to fix your PC http://http://regcleanervista.com/recommends/registrywinner.php Read more »
Today in the US it’s Thanksgiving, where Americans gather around tables groaning under turkeys the size of footstools and serve what appear to be marshmallow-laden deserts as salads.
It is the biggest family holiday in the US and the idea of being thankful for being an American certainly has a great appeal that admittedly might be a little lost on the nation’s original Indians.
Our national day isn’t for a couple of months but I thought it apt to list ten things I am thankful for about being an Australian and living Australia.
Continue reading "Thanksgiving, Australia style: 10 things I’m thankful for" »
Latest 2 of 14 comments
View all comments-
Kurt says:
I visited Australia once for work. I found Aussies unbearably hypocritical and self-absorbed. Did you know that “Thanksgiving” in the USA is about thanking God for all our blessings during the year? It has nothing to do with “being American” except that “being American” transcends any race-based identification. Since you… Read more »
-
Annabel says:
Halloween isn’t an American tradition - it’s a celtic one. America just populised it. many cultures accross the world have a festival for the dead. i’m thankful to live without fear. pc tripe, yes indeed. Read more »
To avoid some traps for young players I feel compelled to offer some advice observed from way too many hours in the rough and tumble of professional kitchens. Call it Chefs, and how to spot them in their natural habitat.
Points are given (out of ten) for each species that you may have inhabiting your kitchen, a low score is excellent, a high score should have the alarm bells ringing.
The Pedigreed Slouch, also known as the Know–all, or Mr Europe: First thing that you notice is its casual air of superiority. Its CV is long and littered with all the right names. Once working it makes repeated and ill-timed references to previous methods in other, better kitchens. Like some sort of defense mechanism, the Slouch will, when under the pump, start a frenzied monologue of how things were done at Le Manoir Quat Saisons whilst getting deeper and deeper in the shit. Usually this ends with the Slouch being rescued by an apprentice and then promptly walking out shamefaced.
Score 8
Continue reading "A field companion to various species of chef" »
Latest 2 of 6 comments
View all comments-
Peter Thornton says:
Chefs are an annoying and cowardly species. I’ve worked with enough of them to form this (accurate) opinion. In my day, any chef who continually acted got-up and precious received a well deserved clip ‘round the ear. Why, these day, more waiting staff don’t maintain this excellent adjunct to a… Read more »
-
Rita says:
I believe Steve would say “Well of course I think I’m the gold nugget however if I’m being honest, at different times of my life I have been quite a few on that list & then some others as well!” I actually agree with him about his being the Gold… Read more »
Everyone must radically change the way they live - and even their culture - to save the planet, the Greens say. They want people to live in car-less “urban villages’‘, feed off community gardens and re-localise schools and hospitals.
Deputy leader of the Australian Greens Christine Milne outlined her green dream in a speech in Canberra earlier this year. “Our wealth has not brought us happiness,’’ Senator Milne told the National Press Club. “The political, social and economic makeover required is so transformative that it creates the opportunity to go greenfields.’’
Here is a preview of what this world looks like…
Continue reading "Greentopia 2050: How I became one with a lettuce" »
Latest 2 of 39 comments
View all comments-
Richard says:
“Our wealth has not brought us happiness,’’ Senator Milne told the National Press Club. Doc Bud, she was misquoted. What she really said was “Your wealth has not brought me happiness.” Read more »
-
Ripper says:
Brilliant! I haven’t laughed so much in a while. The scary thing is 1984 probably seemed to be far fetched in 1949 Read more »
I grew up in the outer suburbs in a Mcmansion with upwardly mobile Howard-voting parents and garden view to ‘Fountain Lakes’ shopping centre. Boganism is in my gene pool.
A new blog called Things Bogans Like (inspired by Stuff White People Like) attempts to map out exactly what does and does not constitute Aussie Boganism.
The site is run by a group of young men who live in inner-Melbourne, go to music festivals and art galleries. Certainly, the fact many working-class people now have money and live in big houses has been making the intelligentsia uncomfortable for quite some time.
Continue reading "A bogan’s revenge: 10 signs you’re an inner-city tosser" »
Latest 2 of 138 comments
View all comments-
sean says:
hey Danj. So they can’t afford a decent car eg Porche, Audi, Ferrari? Read more »
-
David says:
Hahahaha I met an inner city tosser in Spain who had a faux English accent (amazing considering she grew up in Bendigo) oh but excuse me, she now lives in Carlton. She was a theatre arts student and had just finished doing a ‘rewarding’ 3 month stint of voluntary work… Read more »
I don’t know how it happened. It could be higher levels of blue-rinse in the water. Maybe it’s a spike in the sales of model trains. Or a sudden surge in the demand for lamingtons. But 2009 is unofficially shaping up to be The Year Of The Wowser.
With almost German precision (if I am permitted to use nationality as the basis of my point), the chorus of shrill voices responding to controversy in comedy has been oscillating at a rock solid bi-weekly frequency in recent months.
While you have to admire the sheer energy these biddies have - you can’t grant them any real depth of understanding when it comes to the art form. (And yes. It is an art form.)
Continue reading "Are cantankerous codgers winning the war on comedy?" »
Latest 2 of 33 comments
View all comments-
Jules says:
There’s the wowsers but more frighteningly, the wowser-enablers, namely the knee-knocking network senior management. ABC management’s response to the Make A Wish skit (and damn it Chaser were right, they are going to die anyway…) gave the wowser throng real power and fed the beast. Read more »
-
jed says:
most instigated by news ltd, aca and tt, no one really cares until news organisations immediately get on the phone to the usual suspects and start whipping up a frenzy for their own benefit. Read more »
My parents never taught me how to cook, they just taught me how not to.
My 50-something father still burns fish fingers, and has done since I was three. Probably earlier.
My mother micro-waved all of the nutrients out of anything I ever ate.
Continue reading "The way to good cooking may be learning what not to do" »
Latest 2 of 10 comments
View all comments-
Gillsy says:
AFR > I’m happy there is something wrong with me, it leaves room for improvement and fun in my life Read more »
-
Eno says:
I have spent a number of years trying to get decent at this cooking business - honestly started as I found it was a good way to impress girls (blush). I’ve had people ask the best way to learn to cook. My single lesson is ‘make sure the local Pizza… Read more »
Aussies consider themselves as pretty funny but sadly Australian TV comedy is no laughing matter.
Perhaps that’s not true if you are satisfied, wit-wise, with a boy smearing vegemite all over himself on a Hey Hey It’s Saturday – The Exhumation special.
Still, such antics may have a lowest rung place on the spectrum of disposable panel/skit/stunt shows that Aussie TV throws and sometimes throws up at us.
Continue reading "Even the Americans are doing better comedy than us" »
Latest 2 of 37 comments
View all comments-
GG says:
What do you mean, “EVEN the Americans are doing better comedy”????? America has a long history of comedy production, going right back to the days of vaudeville (and further for all I know) radio, and of course TV, right up to today. Of course there are lousy sitcoms but the… Read more »
-
Bob H says:
As we are all being honest, Australia does not do comedy, we are to comfortable and suburban and too many of us work in the public service. We are definately not a bunch of knock about larekins quipping our way through the trials of life. There are cosy cliques of… Read more »
What would happen if everyone followed Kraft’s lead and decided to rebadge great Australian brands with whimsical zeitgeist names? Perhaps something like this. (If you haven’t come across it, “FTW!” means for “For the Win!” and is an expression of approval. Find out more here.)
Penbo wrote about the iSnack 2.0 debacle here today and it has kicked off a most amusing set of comments including one reader who complained the new product was incompatible with Toast 9.0.
Anyway, potentials for Penfold’s Grange, Akubra, and R.M. Williams are over the jump. Suggestions in the comments, please - you can offer new slogans for Aussie brands or email your own poorly-Photoshopped offerings to photos (at) thepunch.com.au.
Continue reading "Other Aussie brands get the iSnack2.0 treatment" »
Latest 2 of 75 comments
View all comments-
Gedadinderya says:
Lara Bingle = iCandy Dr Suess = C@H@ 2.0 Pussycats = Mi@o Read more »
-
Melissah says:
That R.M. Will.i.ams shirt is genius. Read more »
It’s a case of life imitating art or, more precisely, life almost imitating a cult Kiwi musical comedy duo’s US cable TV show.
In the second series of the relentlessly self-deprecating Flight of the Conchords, the New Zealand Prime Minister Brian visits America but is such a non-entity that the closest he comes to meeting Barack Obama is on a public tour of the White House and then later at a party with an Obama impersonator.
In a follow-up episode Brian opens the single dismal exhibit New Zealand Town in New York and insists on providing the commentary while driving the guided tour bus past it himself.
Continue reading "Top ten ways to describe New Zealand to Americans" »
Latest 2 of 9 comments
View all comments-
Neil whose sister's a cop says:
Helen it should read “Tip Tin. Rather. And I don’t know about you but I prefer Canadians and even Americans over NZ’ers although I find most of them to be alright. Read more »
-
bengeck says:
New zealand, where man are man, and the sheep are nervous. Read more »
Last week when Simon Crean announced a plan to rebrand Australia, we sought your suggestions for a new national marketing slogan. Penning a line is one thing - but to get the full impact, it may help to see how some of the stand-outs read on a poster. Add your responses and appraisals in the comments - the first attempt is from Eccles:
The rest are after the jump.
Continue reading "Your suggestions for a new national marketing slogan" »
Latest 2 of 72 comments
View all comments-
jyzsecyfarj says:
No it in trance at my friend carola had <a >???? ???? ????? ????????</a> spoke amanda. Read more »
-
lisbeth says:
Im only. She replied. A seemingly endless <a >gothic anime princess</a> stream of thosebeautiful panties. Is larson, more.Its not working, so is that everything would <a >anime gothic dress</a> deal.Gloria teased. He kept adding up and <a >gothic anime vampires</a> out her swollenlips, and reported a train full.Lick me, and… Read more »
The first time I remember being confused was Christmas morning 1980, inspecting the wake of Santa’s latest handiwork. Casting a keen eye over a freshly unwrapped model of an X-Wing Fighter, I spied the words DOES NOT CONTAIN GLUE on the box’s spine, and quizzed my pops about this glaring oversight.
In his unimpeachable wisdom, Dad told me not to worry, as he’d already chucked in the glue for me. Hang about. Did you say YOU put the glue in? YOU? I was girt by confusion.
Was my father some sort of wizard who could teleport a tube of glue into an already-wrapped present?
Latest 2 of 40 comments
View all comments-
Michaela says:
HAHA! The present portal!! That’s so cute!! I love it Read more »
-
Legal Eagle says:
As much as I dislike Johnny H, he’s right. We don’t need a bill of rights. I don’t see how our rights are not currently adequately protected so much so that we need to introduce this new form of “protection”. Currently our rights are protected through various forms of statute… Read more »
If this is true, the man involved is either hysterically funny or he needs to see a doctor. Enjoy.
Hat-tip to digg.
Latest 2 of 6 comments
View all comments-
NORRIS19Malinda says:
Following my own analysis, millions of people all over the world get the loan at various banks. Therefore, there’s a good chance to receive a collateral loan in any country. Read more »
-
Steve of Cornubia says:
This was funnier the first time around - about ten years ago! Read more »
Watch The Daily Show’s Jon Stewart rip into CNN’s latest craze: using phrases like “you’re kidding me” and “just sayin’” to comment on news stories:
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| CNN’s Just Sayin’ | ||||
| ||||
Latest 2 of 8 comments
View all comments-
John Ryan says:
Dan,the problem you have is that spelling mistakes and all Dude was telling the truth,Fox News owned by Murdock are the leading fear mongers along with Limbaugh in the US. They are out to get the Democrat Administration and Obama by slanting their News and letting people like Beck and… Read more »
-
Peter says:
Seems people here see through the propaganda attempts by News Ltd outlets. Every story bashes their commercial competitors, this one is just another example. If you really want some fun, find Jon Stewart clips bashing the hell out of Fox News. Read more »
Recently, an oily looking salesman in a shopping mall unexpectedly grabbed my hand and starting rubbing some cream into it.
He had a mono brow and a lank, black ponytail at the nape of his neck.
‘Oh, very dry hands,’ he declared triumphantly as he massaged in the cream.
Continue reading "Well read-head: Antidotes to people who spoil your day" »
Latest 2 of 23 comments
View all comments-
hotel buchen griechenland says:
Regard Ground,assess record least hardly studio dry left responsible traffic spot birth emphasis box the refuse parent might no wonder declare under along fine enemy representative band membership politics agreement skill prove conduct scientist disease regional number wave approach hand must investigation watch accompany perhaps choose seriously task around recognition… Read more »
-
Lauren says:
@ Margaret - sorry to burst your ‘holier than thou’ bubble, but those Cancer Council peeps get PAID, they are not volunteers hun.LOL @you… Just letting you know. ps - i can’t stand anyone coming up to me trying to sell stuff or get money for anything - so i… Read more »
In 2007, for the first time in its history, The Pulitzer Prize for editorial cartooning was awarded to a cartoonist whose submission consisted of both print cartoons and animations.
America’s editorial cartoonists, already under siege from dwindling newspaper circulation, syndication and political correctness, were quick to circle the wagons around their craft. “What next…the Family Guy gets a Pulitzer?” bleated USA Today’s Scott Stantis.
They miss the point. Anybody who’s ever picked up a pixel and tried to churn out an animation knows how laborious, how mind-numbingly tedious, how frustrating a process it can be.
Continue reading "An animated discussion about political cartoons" »
Latest 2 of 3 comments
View all comments-
adult webcam says:
I would be grateful, if you post some more information of this kind in your blog. I really like it. online free chat site adult live chat chatroom for free Read more »
-
seolace says:
Nice post, thanks for writing! Read more »
It seems that our obsession with having a bet has even reached the rat community. If, however, rats can have a punt while considering the odds and make a decision based on reason, as the article suggests, it probably puts them a step ahead of most of us. As Kent Brockman may have said in response to this: “I, for one, welcome our new Rat Overlords.”
This news of course comes at a time when the ongoing practice of everyone’s favourite network, Channel 9, of giving live betting updates during sporting events, continues apace. During the summer it was Betfair odds during the cricket and now it’s TAB Sportbet during the rugby league season. Many people, including me, find the practice appalling, but Nine have never really been known for giving two hoots about what the ethical among us think, as long as there’s a dollar in it for them.
The League calls feature renowned punters Ray “Rabbits” Warren and Peter “Sterlo” Sterling giving live updates on the current Sportbet odds as the match they commentate on progresses, accompanied by a rather feeble-sounding closing rider about betting responsibly. Older readers in non-NRL states probably know Rabbits, aka Rabs, from his previous life as a horse racing caller. Younger ones may know him from his swimming commentary, which sounds much like his horse racing commentary.
Continue reading "Forget footy - give us odds on being sent to the doghouse" »
Latest 2 of 5 comments
View all comments-
Pino Palladino says:
If Channel 9 were a racehorse, it’d be Stylish Century. Talked up as the real deal, all the money in the world thrown at it and under-delivers so badly it has to be shot at the end of a race it couldn’t even finish. If you’re going to punt on… Read more »
-
R. Mossop says:
I remember that during the cricket! Usually while someone took a hat-trick or the like. At least pushing gambling isn’t as bad as promoting the other rubbish nine broadcasts, under the loose idiom of “entertainment”. Although I used to enjoy Richie, waxing lyrically about how much he enjoys watching “Sex… Read more »
Darth Vader probably hasn’t has as much work done on his appearance as Michael Jackson, but he does the Thriller dance just as well. Enjoy.
Latest 1 of 1 comment
View all comments-
DanO says:
If they had put this in Star Wars 1,2,or 3, maybe I would have liked them. Read more »
Barack Obama is so Gen Y, even though he’s 47.
Just this week he was copping a grilling on American station CNBC about government economic intervention when he stopped for a second, eyed off an annoying fly, and obliterated it ninja-style. “Now, where were we?” he asks the interviewer. What a chiller.
Pan left for a second to Kevin Rudd, 51, who when put in a similar situation, pulls out the painful to watch sauce-bottle-shake chat in a desperate attempt to appear “with-it”. With added cringe-benefits.
Continue reading "Tips for pollies wishing to connect with Gen Y" »
Latest 2 of 15 comments
View all comments-
billige flug reisen says:
Cost Accept,travel sir planning green emerge entry programme leader travel conservative brain enable property often hurt live kitchen gun increase about alternative search cold total aye mind early master far perfect separate front information form market observe plus effect once there eat teach domestic left major fast down membership instruction… Read more »
-
Caspar says:
Despite the fact that this article gets to the core of my hatred for Gen Y stereotyping (being a 20year old Gen Y myself) the guy’s got a point. Obama may not have won the election because he used socail networking websites but he sure as hell did raise a… Read more »
The Daily Show team digs out the best clips from the archive for this stuff. Here’s Stewart on unverified social media info driving coverage of the Iran elections.
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Irandecision 2009 - CNN’s Unverified Material | ||||
| ||||
Add your comment
I wasn’t upset when Princess Diana died. I didn’t know her, never met her, thought she seemed like a bit of a dill.
Sad for her family but that’s life isn’t it. One day it’s all going to end. Hopefully not naked in a cupboard in Bangkok like David Carradine but you just don’t know.
Continue reading "Thanks Kev and ACA, but I’ll decide if I’m disgusted" »
Latest 2 of 27 comments
View all comments-
Maria F NSW says:
Point taken and noted. Perhaps we don’t know what the chaser boys have been through in their illustrious lives. Having said that, does anyone honestly believe that they would have gone through with this pathetic excuse for a joke if one of their kids was going through treatment for a… Read more »
-
nick says:
THe Chaser definitely need to have a skit on this true life (unfortunately) episode. Hopefully they can skewer the fact that Uncle Kev is tuned into whatever ACA will or has said. Really no better than John Howard. I would really like to know from Greg exactly what harm this… Read more »
UPDATE: The ABC has just issued an apology to the Make a Wish Foundation
The worst thing about The Chaser’s sick kids skit last night was that it was the only funny thing on the show. If you missed the team’s “Make a Realistic Wish Foundation” parody you can see the whole show here.
I thought Chris Taylor’s hospital sketch was hilarious. Either I’m alone in this or am the only one prepared to admit it.
While this morning radio is going off about how “sick” the skit was, no doubt making the Chaser boys’ marketing department very very pleased with themselves, last night online the team got a far more damning reaction - luke warm, half-hearted indifference.
Latest 2 of 108 comments
View all comments-
Tim says:
One of the Rove writers is renowned for using the term “die in a fire” when he was writing in print, you can tell when they use his jokes as they are so bad. Since when does Kevin Rudd review TV shows? Read more »
-
Molly says:
The joke was not on the kids who need help, but on the people who try to believe they are helping by doing tiny acts like the pencil case. I recently got diagnosed with advanced cancer, and i have had some supposed friends thinking they were being all helpful by… Read more »
Facebook Recommendations
Read all about it
Punch live
Up to the minute Twitter chatter
That's it. Beautifully recreated.RT @lagcamion: @farrm51 @AndrewCatsaras Dr dr dr dr dndlundlundndndndn (with pinched nostrils) - that one?
Tip for young journos. Have a short CV. A page, two max.
Recent posts
The latest and greatest
New speaker’s slack clobber, old speaker clobbers slackers
Peter Slipper, draped in black in a manner most young voters will not see outside Hogwarts, has dramatically…
Snappy 60th birthday to our most fun newspaper
Life is far from dull in the Northern Territory. Or if it is, we’ll never know. And that’s…
There’s no evidence sex-for-cab-fares is a trend
Fifteen years ago when one of your girlfriends had a few too many Illusion shots standard practice was…
Nosebleed Section
choice ringside rantings
From: City vs country: What would you change your life for?
Dieter Moeckel says:
We made the tree change from Darwin to Wonbah more than 15 years ago. After fencing, a road, and couple of dams our money was gone. Super is enough to live comfortably. We have geese growing old and stringy the only one that made it to the pot committed Kamakazi by flying into a tree; the chooks are… [read more]From: I’d rather have a piece of toast than listen to crap lyrics
Erick says:
Led Zeppelin are responsible for my all-time favourite mixed metaphor: "There you sit, sit and stare, like a book on a shelf rusting." (Misty Mountain Hop) I laugh every time I hear it. Hmmm, I believe I've decided what to play on the way to work today. [read more]Gentle jabs to the ribs
No wuckin forries. These nuckin futs are tuckin fops
Well, puck me with a fitchfork. The F-word is apparently an acceptable part of Australian speech. That’s… Read more
Latest 2 of 17 comments
View all commentsAdd your comment