An anonymous Puncher writes:
“My mother has taken up art, painting, sketching and drawing. She works from photos and not real life, but she puts a lot of work into them and loves it. She did a drawing of my daughter, her granddaughter, and it’s awful. It looks nothing like her. Worse yet, she gave it to my husband who hates it. I know it’s ungrateful but I’ve had to endure my mothers dressmaking, cross stitching, knitting, patchwork and now art all my life. Now I have my own home, I’d like to think I get the choice of what goes up. Or do I have to put the picture up and grimace each time I pass it?”
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‘Tis the season to be … grumpy. You might be the kind of smiley manic Christmas lover who wears battery-operated Rudolph earrings and has a 24/7 festive smile on your dial.
If so, it might be best to keep away from my house until well after Boxing Day.
Every year it’s the same. We tell ourselves to stay calm, keep cool, and don’t get carried away.
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Welcome to the ninth edition of Dr Tinman’s Ignorant Remedies for the Aching Soul. I am Dr Tinman, life-doctor and former submarine captain with a terrible secret. And now, without any delay - except, of course, the time it takes for these words to penetrate your eyeballs and enrich your feeble brain - we move onto this week’s question!
Dear Dr Tinman, I have a friend’s wedding coming up and she hasn’t set up one of those registry things. I have no idea what to get her! What should I do?
Dearest Gifted, How delightful that your friend has such trust in her friends! Unfortunately, that trust appears sorely misplaced.
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Well, ho, ho, ho. Talk about Christmas spirit. The big department stores are accused of exploiting Christmas by charging more than $20 for a photo with Santa.
I, for one, think it’s an excellent idea. Well, they’ve got to do something to make a buck with all those Judases buying cheap stuff online.
In fact, I think they should take this marvellous measure even further…
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I recently started a new job and at my very first team meeting, I was informed that I would be included in my new team’s Kris Kringle for the impending enforced Christmas “celebrations”.
As you would expect, yay. Is it possible to yay in an even lower case? yay. There you go.
Now, I know that this groan-inducing ritual must happen in offices all around the world (well, except for maybe the Middle East, India and most of Asia but lets not get pedantic) at this time of year – the exchanging of unwanted, thoughtless gifts between team-members who haven’t gotten to know each other well enough over the course of the year to know what to get each other.
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For sale: One cute animal that will help you save the world… or will it just make you feel better?
Charity gift packages that offer you the chance to buy a friend a goat, some chickens or even a pile of poo for a poverty-stricken family in the developing world might make us feel warm and fuzzy, but they can also be misleading.
On the plus side, they offer a tangible way of giving someone the gift of charity donation for a present. Buying a “goat” might come with an e-card, a receipt and a funny picture of the creature packed with his suitcase and ready to go. In short, a relatable image of what you may have contributed to.
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In the run up to Father’s Day the electrical stores are spruiking like it’s Christmas. You can be sure that along with any of the hot deals from digital cameras to TVs will come one innocent –sounding question.
At the very point of sale when you’re about to hand over the cash for dad’s gift you’ll be asked “Would you like an extended warranty with that?”
It sounds simple enough. An few extra years’ “protection” for a hundred bucks or so, depending on the price of the item.
I can’t decide which takes the cake - the grey vinyl lap top bag for a women who doesn’t own a lap top, or the magazine filled with pictures of kelpies for a wife to browse during labour.
Neither were as cruel as the all-expenses-paid trip to Morocco where the she was promptly dumped. Or as indiscreet as the yoga mat recommended by his “friend” the yoga instructor - who he’s now dating.
It’s incredible what some men think is an acceptable gift for their partner.
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