December and January are generally slow news months in Australia. The pollies have gone home, cricket is on the TV and we can find time to relax. It can be a testing time for the media, with column inches and tabloid TV segments to fill. But all is not lost.
Enter the fortune tellers.
What does the year ahead hold for us? Let’s ask our resident astrologer/medium/psychic/mystic/clairvoyant.
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Where will you be in 2050? According to a new report on Australia’s digital future you could be working from your smarthome and communicating with the office via your eyeballs.
You’ll be gobbling up 200GB of data a month, probably having sex with robots, and sitting pretty on a household income of around $188,000 in today’s money.
Of course, IBM’s Snapshot of Australia’s Digital Future to 2050 also makes the wild prediction that the photographic film processing industry is in trouble, so who knows where these crazy cats are getting their information from.
Someone once told me that when people reach a certain age they begin dressing in the manner they did at the happiest time in their life.
The same often goes for elderly people with severe dementia, who can keenly recall the minute details of life when they were happiest. My 80 year old grandmother did not recognise me at all in the last six months of her life, but she would talk about her sons as if they were still young teenagers. She was a homemaker and it was the most joyful time in her life
That’s what I think about when I watch the brilliant video above about hipsters, the future and social media.
Could this be the year we finally get a dream-recording device?
There are many inventions I’m hanging out for this year – from automatic cheese graters, to a device that allows Kyle Sandilands to break free from his rage-limiting mortal form and roam the skies as a scowling dragon, hurling damsels with ‘90s haircuts into volcanoes.
But a gizmo that could record and playback dreams would be at the top of my list.
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It’s time to get over the hovercar. It’s not happening. You’re not getting one.
And for that matter, you’re not going to be flying to Mars or the moon or through the rings of Saturn in a spaceship. Not in your lifetime.
The biggest let-down of the 21st century is that humanity has proved pretty poor at inventing the flying technologies that we imagined would be jetting us to Mars or well, Coles, by now. But it’s time we got over that. Because our levitating-vehicle-filled imaginations of the future are holding us back from embracing the future that is already here. And it’s a future that’s far more remarkable than you would think. For instance: say hello to the Matrix.
By now, Robert Ettinger should be well and truly frozen.
At 92, the man widely credited as the founder of the cryogenics movement had already seen the some of the best and worse of the past century.
He died on Saturday and reportedly became the 106th patient at his Michigan-based Cryonics Institute, where he joins his mother and first two wives. I genuinely hope it all works out for him and that he lives long and prospers… again.
The most interesting thing I’ve read all year about the climate-change debate is a book that has nothing directly to do with it.
Dan Gardner’s Future Babble: Why Expert Predictions Fail and Why We Believe Them Anyway explores, well, the title pretty sums it up. Gardner runs through a laundry list of culture-shaping fears and hopes and points out that they were almost always wrong.
Capitalism didn’t end up on the ash heap of history. World War I didn’t turn out to be the war to end all wars. Society wasn’t plunged into anarchy by the Y2K bug. The nightmare scenario of overpopulation Malthusians have been banging on about since 1798 is yet to play out.
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It’s that time of the year again when people begin pieces with “it’s that time of the year again” and tweak the end bit slightly to sound cool and “alternative”.
I refer, of course, to the awkward period between Christmas and New Year’s Eve.
Hands grip wobbling bellies in the aftermath of a national pudding massacre as their owners ponder how they will lose the extra baggage before the all-important New Year’s party.
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I have glimpsed the future of motoring and it turns out that in twenty years from now we’ll all be zipping around in ludicrously over-accessorised Segways. At least that’s if General Motors has any say in the matter.
GM’s new ‘Electric Networked Vehicle’, or EN-V, which was recently shown to the motoring public in Shanghai, looks like a Segway on steroids, which is not all that surprising given that it was developed in partnership with Segway.
Weighing in at less than 500 kilograms, measuring just 1.5 metres long and powered entirely by electricity, the EN-V is being touted as a solution to pollution, urban congestion and road accidents.
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Remember Buck Rogers and the 25th Century, where the women all wore space age silver outfits and zipped around in metallic all-in-ones with sharp shoulders, bubbles on hips and weird shoe contraptions?
Well it appears the 25th century has come early, and I’m not entirely sure I’m happy about it.
It started last year with Balmain and The Shoulder, as it’s now referred to in fashion circles, which became an accessory all on its own. The Balmain jacket which featured The Shoulder, cost over $11,000 sold out in one week.
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