Football

If badminton was the World Game there would probably be just as many riots as there are now with soccer. The graceful swoop of the goose-feathered shuttlecock would not calm the madding crowds.

If only badminton had the power to invoke the passion, it could rival the semi-religious fervour that soccer induces. If only. Then we could blame badminton for all violence in sport and stop making soccer out to be evil.

Soccer is, globally, inextricably linked to violence in people’s minds. But it’s not soccer’s fault. Soccer just happens to be the medium for the message. It is the excuse, the scapegoat.

Continue reading "Don’t blame the beautiful game for riot shame" »

Xenophobia. Pauline Hanson asked for a “please explain” over a decade ago. Here is its latest example: Australia’s indifference to the Brisbane Roar’s absurd mark of 36 consecutive matches in the A-League without defeat.

Oh yes, the excuses have come thick and fast. The record includes 13 draws, the A-League is weak, penalties were needed to win the Grand Final.

It’s as if the Roar - a team which is as majestic as it is consistent - should be embarrassed they now own such a precious jewel in our sporting history.

Continue reading "Why isn’t there more of a Roar about this super streak?" »

In Manchester the world turned on its axis as City staged a palace coup in the Theatre of Dreams, smashing rivals United 6-1 away from home to take a five point lead in the race for the English Premier League and stake their claim as the new kings of English football.

If you know anything about football, and even if you don’t know anything about football, you’ll know that Manchester United are the biggest soccer club on the planet. Yes, Spain’s Real Madrid and FC Barcelona have hundreds of thousands of members and passionate Latin American support, but since the Premier League’s inception in 1992, no team has won more devotees around the world than the Red Devils.

United’s reputation has been built on sustained footballing excellence, millions of pounds of match day revenue, and the simple human desire of fans around the world to back a winner. Or shameless glory-hunting as it is otherwise known.

Continue reading "Man, what a power shift as the world unites behind City" »

There aren’t many television shows worth watching but I would urge everybody to go out and buy the five season DVD box set of the American drama Friday Night Lights. This critically acclaimed and largely unwatched program is ostensibly about the tribulations of a high school gridiron team in the fictitious Texan town of Dillon.

It is in reality a show about life itself, and the good and bad judgments which people make while growing up and as adults, and the ramifications those decisions have on their lives and the lives of others.

The star of the show is the intense but big-hearted Eric Taylor, the coach of the Dillon Panthers, whose determination to win is tempered by his compassion for the young men under his charge.

Continue reading "Friday Night Lights, Fevola and the No Di*kheads rule" »

“They are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope and happiness out of the air around them.”

No one is quite sure whether JK Rowling’s description of dementors was inspired by Collingwood fans but it would be safe to assume that at some point in her life, the Harry Potter author had the misfortune to spend time with the Magpie faithful - so chillingly accurate is her account of how their mere presence affect ordinary folk.

It would be wrong to characterise all Collingwood supporters as ill-bred, gutter dwelling oxygen thieves more likely to break into your car than make a meaningful contribution to society, but one can understand why that perception exists.

Continue reading "‘Pies have the game plan, Hawks have a dental plan" »

As a relative newcomer to Sydney, I’ve discovered a phrase I almost never heard mentioned before I moved here: “Western Sydney”. As someone who lives in the Eastern Suburbs, the Western Suburbs aren’t really on my radar.  I have little need to go out there. 

I did, however, discover some new information about Western Sydney last weekend.  Its new AFL team, the Giants, took the field against the Sydney Swans’ second XI.  The hapless Giants kicked three goals and got smashed by over 100 points.

Wow. Furthermore, according to ABC’s Offsiders program, the NSW Government spent $45 million redeveloping a stadium which will play host to the team. 

Continue reading "Homelessness needs a football facelift" »

A mate of mine has a nephew at private school in Sydney. Apparently, many of the kids are betting on the dogs, with one boy losing $1200 in a single day.

Some might think the loss of $1200 is just deserts for a rich little twit with too much cash on his hands. I think it’s just one more sign that sports betting is out of control in Australia.

Here’s another one: an Adelaide businessman recently rang SA Senator Nick Xenophon’s office in a bid to warn others about online gambling during AFL matches. He’d lost $85,000 in three weeks after being enticed by one of those gambling ads that run relentlessly during televised games.

Continue reading "Sports betting: Gambling’s no game" »

Memo to the AFL: ban these racist pigs for life. There you go, problem solved. Surely it can’t be that difficult.

This is a serious issue that is very close to my heart. As a victim of racial abuse over many years, I can’t hold my tongue any longer. I have also been in the unfortunate position of being abused while at the footy. My crime? Barracking for my team.

Just when we thought our governing body was getting a grip on these ugly and unintelligent slurs, a couple of ignorant imbeciles, one at an AFL game, the other at the VFL (not for the first time this year mind you) decided it might be a good idea to voice their racist views and sour what was otherwise a couple of great games.

Continue reading "Banish all racists from the AFL. For life." »

What a victory for AFL in Sydney, hey? Over 33,000 flood the SCG to see the Swans play Hawthorn, while next door at the Sydney Football Stadium, a crowd of, ahem, 10,000 witnessed the NRL snooze fest between the Roosters and the Knights. A colourful SCG against a stadium in funereal military blue.

That story is all over the papers. That story is easy. Lazy too.

It’s also burying the lead.

Continue reading "The Swans are getting slaughtered on television" »

Teenagers are idiots, most of the time. They do incredibly stupid things. Hormones, drugs, alcohol, and a not-yet fully formed idea of their actions’ consequences means they screw up. A lot.

So, there’s this 17-year-old girl with a lot to say about the AFL. About sex and older men and power and betrayal. She may have won Ricky Nixon’s scalp - there is speculation he is now stepping down after confessing to “inappropriate dealings” with her.

On paper, this is a great story of the little guy (girl) standing up to the big bully boy. In reality it’s a teenager. A teenager who has now outed herself – or been outed – on 60 Minutes. There are reports she was paid a five-figure sum. Which isn’t really that much, when you think about it.

Continue reading "AFL scandal girl’s an idiot. Because she’s a teenager" »

It is part of every reporter’s mandatory training that any time a scandal erupts you have to put the word ``gate’’ after it.

Thus we have had Utegate, Wheatgate, Monkeygate and Wormgate, just to name a few.

Indeed according to Wikipedia—which is also part of every reporter’s mandatory training—Australia accounts for no fewer than six of the official ``gate’’ scandals, more than holding its own among tough competition from Camillagate, Nipplegate and Whitewatergate.

Continue reading "Nixongate in the Hotelgate with the Schoolgate Girlgate" »

Something about the Warne/Hurley tryst got right up Peter Costello’s nose last week.

In a rant that first bagged Warne and then slagged the self interest of elite sportsmen, the former Australian Treasurer ultimately suggested that parents should fear AFL-run sports clinics.

“Any right-thinking parent would quake with fear to hear that footballers were coming to their daughter’s school to give a little bit of inspiration,” he wrote.

Now, in the past I’ve been quick to skewer wayward sports stars. But to tar all AFL footballers with a single brush is akin to suggesting all politicians are rednecks because a few on the Right like to parrot the policies of One Nation.

Continue reading "Don’t tar and feather all AFL players" »

St Kilda, you’ve done it again. After escaping to New Zealand to train in peace after the shocking, dragged-out nude photo-schoolgirl scandal, a group of Saints have disgraced themselves.

Alcohol, drugs and late nights are often on the agenda of young people wanting to have fun. It acts as a form of escapism, as the youths unwittingly rebel against strict team rules, in the case of the four St Kilda bad boys. They’ve been like naughty boys on school camp, rather than a bunch of committed, professional athletes.

What was Zac Dawson thinking? After being caught in an embarrassing photo with a fully naked Nick Reiwoldt (Dawson’s skipper, mind you), Dawson, 24, got up to strife with three younger players - Rhys Stanley, Jack Steven and Paul Cahill. The players have been disciplined, including a six-week ban and a hefty fine each - but they have dented their reputations.

Continue reading "Exorcising the devil in the Saints" »

Ugh. I can barely be bothered raising the requisite outrage to talk about the latest sexism in sport scandal.

Read all about it here. Salient point: UK Sky Sports commentators Andy Gray and Richard Keys have been stood down after they joked a female linesman (woman?) wouldn’t know soccer’s offside rule.

What dinosaurs.  Sure, it was meant to be off air. Sure, jokes among friends and all that. Reality: What they said both reflects and perpetuates ridiculous myths that exist in society. Which is why it still deserves a response despite being tiresome and predictable.

Continue reading "More men saying women are crap at stuff" »

There are consolation prizes and there are Asian Cup bids.

I’m not sure which is worse, given the news Australia was the only nation willing to host the 2015 Asian Cup - and given the shock horror announcement this morning we’d actually won the thing.

How does one ‘win’ a competition where there’s only one entry?

Continue reading "Well, at least we won a soccer cup bid…" »

Another day, another footballer caught up in a scandal.

Today it’s Riewoldt fronting the media in defence of explicit pictures a teenager posted on Facebook.

He says he asked the photographer to delete the photos. Smart. He didn’t make sure that happened. Dumb.

Continue reading "Football scandal spreads on internet. Again." »

In a little under two weeks, at 2am on December 3, FIFA will announce the nations that will host the 2018 and 2022 World Cups and hopefully all of Frank Lowy’s work will come to fruition.

But I know not everyone feels the same way. It seems Australia is split on the possibility of the world’s biggest sporting event making its way Down Under.

The majority are behind it and would love to have another international showcase, but there are two other camps – those crossing their fingers that Australia doesn’t win, and those simply shrugging their shoulders and saying, “Meh.”

Continue reading "Do we actually want the World Cup?" »

They say a week is a long time in football – they’re not kidding. This week has to go down as one of the longest in the A-League’s short history.

Dramas with refereeing decisions, last season’s champions bottom of the ladder, players unpaid, clubs on the brink of financial collapse, falling attendances, controversy over simulation and FFA’s match review panel - the list goes on, and none of it makes good reading for Australian soccer fans.

Continue reading "Top to bottom, the A-League’s doing it tough" »

It’s the wild day of the AFL calendar – Mad Monday – and there’s a BEN-DER alert on those party animals, the Tigers.

After Richmond farewelled Ben Cousins yesterday, the players will pump up the celebrations on Mad Monday.

It was a brave last AFL game for Cousins, who racked up 21 touches while playing with a bung hamstring.

Continue reading "Cousins’ toughest task will be Mad Monday" »

We’re only a couple of weeks into the football season but certain things have become very clear, very quickly: Sydney FC aren’t going to hold onto their title, while the two Manchesters will have to prise Chelsea’s from Didier Drogba’s cold, dead hands.

Domestically, the A-League is so open you’d get better odds on the federal election result than the league title. So what can we take from an instructive weekend?

1. Sydney FC have a lot of work to do. The champions were outplayed and outfought by Brisbane Roar and the chinks in Vitezlev Lavicka’s side are getting bigger by the week. At the back, they’re really feeling the absence of Simon Colosimo, who left for Melbourne Heart. Foxe and Keller are about as mobile as Easter Island heads. And deprived of Bridge and Brosque on the weekend, they offered little threat upfront - but even with both fit, Sydney are still too light to make an impact. And talking of impact, has anyone seen marquee man Nicky Carle? Lavicka’s put posters on all the lamp posts round SFS but no one’s taking any of the little tear-offs. 

Continue reading "Football lessons: the Chelsea show is on again" »

Take a sniff, breathe it in – you know what that is? That’s the smell of deep heat and hair gel - real football is back.

It was almost three weeks between the end of the World Cup and the domestic competitions starting up again. Felt like I’d lost a limb. But after week two of the A-League and the return of the English Premier League, it’s worth taking a look at some of the early lessons of the season.

1. The A-League is still impossible to predict. Two weeks in, we’ve had three three-all thrillers, and last weekend the two most consistent teams in the competition were punished. Reigning champions Sydney FC went to North Queensland and produced a first-half’s entertainment comparable to An Audience with Kyle Sandilands.

Continue reading "Five lessons from the start of the real football season" »

After a day of feverish speculation, the new Socceroos coach was revealed yesterday – German Holger Osieck. The first question was: who is he? Second question was: so who is he? “Holger?” asked one of my mates, “isn’t that some fancy bread?”

Osieck is not the big name most Socceroos fans were hoping for, and is probably a disappointment for many. But he’s about the right level for where we are as a football nation.

No one likes to gossip like soccer journos and the rumour mill was in full swing yesterday; it’s Klinsmann, some were saying. Ronald Koeman or Jose Pekerman, maybe even Martin O’Neill.

Continue reading "The new Socceroos coach pulled from a Scrabble bag" »

There are few things harder in this soft ‘n’ cushy life than giving up smoking and while it’s easy to remember why or when you had your first cigarette, the story of how you gave up is never quite as interesting.  Except if you’re Russell Crowe.

According to today’s Herald Sun the former Gladiator star will always blame his decision to quit on oldest son, Charlie.

Continue reading "Election-Free Zone: Rusty’s battle to quit the cigs" »

1. The World Cup is cool: Soccer’s problem is overkill. It’s hard enough following our own A-League, let alone the European leagues and their endless cups within leagues and leagues for cup winners. Yawn. Tune out. But when the World Cup is on, you shiver in the darkness watching Paraguay vs Japan. It’s like the Olympics where obscure pursuits like pole vault and equestrian actually matter. Problem is, we’re all now waking automatically at 4.30. What brand were those Ben Cousins sleeping pills again?

2. Psychic cephalopods are even cooler: All World Cups have a standout team, but only occasionally does an individual stamp himself as clearly superior to the rest, a la Maradona at the 1986 Cup. The 2010 FIFA World Cup will forever belong to Paul the Octopus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_the_Octopus), who is head, shoulders and tentacles above any single player or pundit.. Story of the year, hands down. All eight of them.

3. A World Cup here would be even cooler still: Did you hear those vuvuzelas? Did you see those crowds? A World Cup here would be like the Sydney Olympics writ large across six or eight cities. And hey, how great would it be if we all blew didgeridoos instead of vuvuzelas? It’d be as Australian as the buzz of blowflies. Yes, we should worry about the capital cost and future viability of new stadiums. No, that should not stop us hoping we trump Qatar’s excellent bid in December.

Continue reading "10 things we’ve learned about the World Cup" »

When I came into work today, my deliciously juvenile impulse, was to tease the Englishmen in my workplace mercilessly about their team’s 4-1 FIFA World Cup thrashing at the hands of Germany.

Fortunately, my better side has triumphed. Here ya go, lads. A nice cup of Twinings all round. Oh, and this list should cheer you up too. It’s a list of…

10 things to console an Englishman in the wake of their World Cup failure.

1. Football schmootball. You guys have some terrific runners. Like Jana Rawlinson.

Continue reading "10 ways to console an Englishman after losing" »

Well it was a game of two halves and both of them were crap. The less said about it all the better - next stop, Ghana. They’ll be quaking in their boots. I’d love to share the tales of fan-related hijinks after the Germany game but there aren’t any. It was if the fun-loving German spirit possessed us all here and we trudged off home. Perhaps we can blame Kevin Rudd for this?

The Prime Minister, a well-known sports buff Kevin Rudd wasted no time in jumping on the Socceroos bandwagon with the following tweet on Sunday: “Got alarm set for 4am like the rest of the country. Tough opponents. Go #Socceroos. KRudd.”

The tweet received a mixed reaction, if you define mixed as generally rude. One excellent instant reply: “So you’re having a sleep in then?” Many others just used the tweet as a chance to bag the PM.

Continue reading "World Cup Diary: Rudd spurs Socceroos to glory" »

With the World Cup almost upon us, a lot of soccer nuts are writing stories arguing that soccer has totally cut through, that Australia is at last a round ball nation, and that the Socceroos are “icons”.

No. Uluru is an icon. The Sydney Opera House is an icon. The baggy green cap is an icon. Collingwood is an icon. The famous “Gladiators” picture which spawned the NRL trophy is an iconic image.

The Socceroos won’t come close to iconic status until they’re something more than a rank outsider at the world’s biggest sporting event, and until they bring something recognisably Australian to their style of play.

Continue reading "Sorry, but I’m not sold on the Socceroos yet" »

Take a bow, Matildas.  You’re champions of Asia, and the first team to qualify for the women’s World Cup Finals.

These capable, commanding young Australians gave us a masterclass in adaptability and focus in their Asian Cup Final triumph over North Korea last week.  In hostile and deteriorating conditions, against opponents whose government backs them to play full-time, the Matilda’s application of every ounce of their capability, and their flat-out refusal to get beaten, made football history.

The urging of goalkeeper-captain Melissa Barbieri, the raking passes of midfielder Collette McCallum, the intelligent touches of Katie Gill up front, and the lung-busting runs of Clare Polkinghorne over 120 minutes added up to an immense performance that delivered our first Asian silverware, and the respect of a nation.

Continue reading "Matildas: this is how it’s done" »

The way people go on about soccer at World Cup time is reminiscent of the way people like to talk about politics around elections. People who usually don’t show much of an interest in the sport become pub analysts once every three of four years, willing to throw their two cents in at the pub on the eventual winner and what they need to do to get there.

The difference between the World Cup and elections is people actually seem to enjoy having conversations about it a lot more than they do about politics, plus even if we do hate Fabio Grosso for what he did to Australia (why did it have to be a guy called Fabio?), at least we don’t have to elect him as Prime Minister.

So I give you The Punch’s pub rant guide to South Africa 2010, with World Cup tips those “experts” may have missed.

Team that deserves to lose the most: Italy

Continue reading "The Punch’s pub rant on the World Cup draw" »

Collingwood were on top of the world before Friday, seemingly unstoppable and had the feeling of an AFL premiership coming their way.

The Magpies ruled the AFL last week. But they were brought back to earth with a thud after copping a nasty wake-up call during Friday night’s blockbuster against Geelong.

Described as pretenders after their 36-point loss to the Cats, Collingwood simply didn’t have the goal-scoring power to match Geelong.

Continue reading "Why Collingwood can’t win it" »

As football players and people go Jason Akermanis is a pretty interesting guy.

The fact that he was motivated to write his Herald Sun column today about gay AFL players, demonstrates a depth of thinking a step above the usual “why the boys will be sticking it to Carlton this week” kind of columns that most players usually muster.

But as far as Aker’s argument goes, that AFL players should stay firmly in the closet, I’m not sure that his logic adds up.

Continue reading "Don’t ask, don’t tell Aker" »

“Please tell everyone South Africa’s not as dangerous as they think.” That’s how most of my conversations have started over the past 10 days as I travelled around the country that will host next month’s World Cup.

It’s just 16 years since Nelson Mandela’s election as president signalled the end of the apartheid era, and like a teenager going to her deb ball, South Africa is nervous about being the centre of attention.

Worried that the roads won’t be ready. Worried that the national team, known to all as Bfana Bfana, won’t perform well. But most of all, worried that the country’s reputation for violence will be the ever-lasting memory of this World Cup.

Continue reading "Nervous wait for World Cup in rainbow republic" »

The AFL hit rock bottom on Friday night after claims Collingwood coach Mick Malthouse allegedly called Saint forward Stephen Milne a “f***ing rapist” at quarter time.

Milne and his teammate Leigh Montagna was cleared of rape allegations in 2004 following a much-publicised investigation in 2004. The incident shook up the AFL, which has had its fair share of unsavoury revelations amongst its players ever since.

Malthouse is seen on television footage, engaging in a heated exchange with Milne. Magpies assistant coach Paul Licuria also spoke words that were allegedly unpleasant.

Continue reading "Sledging hits a sick new low in the AFL" »

So I’m watching a replay of this year’s Lingerie Football League Lingerie Bowl between the Los Angeles Temptation and the Chicago Bliss. Didn’t watch right till the end, but I’m pretty sure the final score was Butt Cheeks 32, Dignity 0.

Later, without flicking the remote, I watched Bikini Beach. Whoa. This lascivious grey-haired, stubbled-faced dude was “interviewing” bikini-clad women in a booty-shaking comp that was like pole dancing, minus the pole. At one point, he actually felt the contestants’ breasts to test their firmness, or silicon content, or lactative potential, or whatever the hell.

Both of these shows were on Fuel TV, the action sports channel which is beamed into 26 million American households and plenty here too. Switch to Channel 516 on your Foxtel at any given moment and you’ll likely see one of three things: snowboarding, motocross or boobs. Probably all three.

Continue reading "Action sports and sexism: a match made in stupid heaven" »

For the good of the game, Sydney must win the A-League Grand Final

Now, I’m just putting this out there. I’m just going to run it up the flagpole. The A-League, and football in Australia, needs Sydney FC to defeat Melbourne Victory next week.

This season’s decider is the one the game had to have. They’re the best two teams on the field, the biggest two teams of the field and have a rivalry that inspires feelings of joy, anguish, revulsion and, when applicable, a hefty dollop of schadenfreude.

Continue reading "The A-League needs Sydney FC to win the Grand Final" »

Sydney FC fans have woken up this morning feeling like they’ve had their wallets stolen – but they’ve got no one to blame but themselves.

Melbourne Victory’s major semi-final extra-time winner yesterday afternoon was typical; clever Kevin Muscat exploiting the situation, too-quick Archie Thompson putting the ball in the back of the net.

But what were Sydney doing? Ball-watching? Waiting for the ref? Checking their haircuts? In an open and entertaining game, Melbourne always seemed most likely to grab the all-important away goals that would earn them a home grand final.

Continue reading "Melbourne slips another one past sleeping Sydney" »

So Sydney FC are minor premiers. Congratulations, they battled their way to the top with a lot more perspiration than inspiration but yesterday afternoon they proved too tenacious for Melbourne Victory.

The game was interesting for a number of points. This is just the first leg of a possible three-match finals run-in between the two sides. Given the form of the pair, there is a good chance they might just meet again in the grand final.

First up is the semi-final in Melbourne next Thursday. Victory will be desperate to inflict some serious hurt on Sydney, particularly after Terry McFlynn reportedly broke Robbie Kruse’s leg. It was physical at SFS yesterday, but that clumsy tackle left Melbourne seething.

Continue reading "Sydney win, Aloisi redeemed, but this is just the beginning" »

Why does football/soccer bring out the hate?

Every time I read a story or a blog about football/soccer on the net, the reader comments always devolve into the bitch fight: it’s the world game, it’s the future or it’s a Euro game for ladyboys that will never overtake our domestic codes.

I write about the A-League on the Punch every week and every time my post goes up there’s always a response guaranteed to include the lines: “Who cares? Soccer’s a boring game for poofs, people who have slightly darker skin than me and posh expats who should go back where it rains a lot and the beer is slightly warmer. How long have you soccer zealots been saying it was going to take over? The A-League is rubbish and will never be more popular than AFL/NRL.”

Continue reading "Oh soccer, why do they hate you so?" »

Can anyone stop Melbourne Victory making it two in a row?

What did we learn from last weekend’s round of A-League games? The top six is all but decided, give or take a few late hopes. Sydney FC seem determined to shoot themselves in the foot. And Melbourne Victory, despite losing to Gold Coast, are still favourites to do the double again.

For those who had better things to do this weekend, the first four finals places are locked in, with Melbourne, Gold Coast, Sydney and Perth all doing enough. Despite tricky away games, Wellington and Newcastle should finish off the six.

Continue reading "Can anyone stop the flying V?" »

For many Australians, John Aloisi will always be fondly remembered for scoring the penalty that put Australia in the 2006 World Cup, a goal voted one of the nation’s greatest sporting moments.

But any visitor to a Sydney FC game would think he was somehow responsible for the Haiti earthquake, the global financial crisis and Barack Obama’s failure to meet expectations on raising the level of public healthcare in the US.

I went to the Sydney-Gold Coast game Sunday afternoon, and was bemused by the scorn poured on Aloisi by his own supporters. Even forgetting the hardcore in the Cove, there were at least three loud voices in the crowd who took every opportunity to abuse the striker and point out the glaring discrepancy in his wages-to-goals ratio.

Continue reading "How Sydney fans turned the heroic Aloisi into a villain" »

Things are happening on Newcastle that shouldn’t be. The Jets, last year’s wooden-spooners who finished with an eye-watering 18 points, are burning a trail through the top end of the league.

The Jets are one of the most limited teams in the competition when it comes to resources. The club is stretched to its limit financially, and they have consistently failed to keep hold of their best players.

In the first twelve rounds of the season, they won just three games. Their team was made up of A-League stalwarts, untested youngsters and in charge was Branko Culina, the man who rubs more people the wrong way than one of things your mum has to get rid of fluff on clothes.

Continue reading "A-League: Reasons for roundballers to love Branko" »

“Shine like a big, big star!” This quote may sound like an odd introduction to an article about Australia’s bid for the FIFA World Cup in 2018 or 2022, but it is also the basis for one of the inspirational highlights of the bid team’s work in Cape Town two weeks ago.

All bidding nations were invited to Cape Town by FIFA to participate in a media expo to present our claims.  The media expo was the first of only three formal presentations for bidders to the FIFA Executive, the international football community and international football media.  While it was the ‘set piece’ event for bidding nations during the week, Football Federation Australia (FFA) also planned other activities to ensure we were noticed in a very busy period for world football.

The inspiration came from a visit to a township school outside Cape Town by Federal Minister for Sport Kate Ellis, FFA Chairman Frank Lowy, CEO Ben Buckley, Head Coach Pim Verbeek, and the eight Aussie kids who had won a competition to be Bid emissaries for the week.

Continue reading "World Cup bid: Shine like a big, big star" »

Do you call it “football”? Then you’re an unAustralian zealot sucked in by the game for diving, cheating nancy boy Eurotrash. Or do you call it “soccer”? If so, you’re a small-minded, parochial redneck desperately clinging onto the last vestiges of isolationism.

This week, a punter rang me up to put me straight. He’d bought a copy of Australian Football Weekly and wanted to tell me we’d got the name wrong.
“Football in Australia is AFL,” he said. “You should be called Soccer Weekly or something.”

He’d bought the magazine by mistake. Never mind that the issue was eight months old, had a picture of Kevin Muscat and Travis Dodd on the cover and our masthead has a bloody great football in it. The punter picked it up, somehow thinking he’d found a new AFL publication, only to be left disappointed by the “soccer” content within.

Continue reading "A game by any other name - is it football or soccer?" »

Watching the World Cup draw early on Saturday morning felt like watching the cast of The Bold and the Beautiful do Hamlet. With Becks & Charlize, there was glamour aplenty- but it had the all drama and class of the Eurovision Song Contest.

Australia’s group for the World Cup drew what I call “the builder”: the sharp intake of breath through gritted teeth accompanied by the worried shake of the head.

On paper, it looks a tough ask for the Socceroos in South Africa – but is it really the group of death?

Continue reading "World Cup draw: actually not a death sentence" »

Earlier this week, Newcastle Jets coach Branko Culina got hit with a $3000 fine for saying his team still had a chance of making the finals “because all the teams around us are pretty s**t as well.”

But that pain in the wallet won’t be so nasty after the Jets mugged Sydney FC 3-1 yesterday afternoon at Sydney Football Stadium.

The fact that the team in ninth place can hand out such a heavy defeat to the second-placed team illustrates the A-League’s great strength and biggest weakness.

Continue reading "The A-League’s greatest weakness is also its strength" »

It’s Monday - what is Robbie Fowler thinking this morning?

It was a tough weekend for the former Liverpool star. North Queensland Fury’s marquee signing recovered from a hip injury just in time to lead his team out to a 5-1 thrashing at home by Central Coast Mariners.

Two League Cups, one FA Cup, one UEFA Cup, one UEFA Super Cup, 128 goals in 266 appearances for Liverpool… What do you think is on his mind when he wakes up in Townsville this morning?

Continue reading "When an ex-premiership player gets Down Under" »

Before I get into this I must say a quick thanks to the many people - including complete strangers - who have sent messages of sympathy and support after Ireland got knocked out of the World Cup by what is surely the worst cheating incident in the history of sport.

If there’s one thing we Irish are really good at, it’s being outraged at injustice. Thanks to our over-friendly English neighbours we’ve had more than 800 years of practice.

And now we get to do it on Facebook.

Continue reading "Luck of the Irish? Tell it to that cheat Thierry Henry" »

Last week in Australian Football Weekly, I wrote a couple of disparaging remarks about Central Coast Mariners. Nothing too heavy, but I basically called them a team of grinding, featureless clones cultivated by coach Lawrie McKinna in a secret lab in Gosford.

Then, on Saturday night, they nipped down to Melbourne and duly gave the reigning champions, who had won six of their last seven, a hearty 4-zip spanking in their own backyard.

I’ll put my hands up – it was a great game. McKinna’s men wore Victory into the ground, and they were fast and clever in and around the box. They didn’t just ruin Melbourne’s party; they turned up, drank all the booze, pulled out some classic dance moves and went home with both the best-looking girls.

Continue reading "The Central Coast Mariners: We are the Robots" »

Like many Australians of my generation and background, there was hardly a weekend when my dad wasn’t taking me to a football ground.  In fact, Sunday meant Sunday School and soccer and the opportunity to catch up with all the people who spoke the same sporting language. 

Football clubs were the centrepiece of the social life of many migrant and refugee communities and many clubs became some of the great nurseries of football talent over subsequent years.

Since then, football’s popularity has grown across Australia and has expanded from the weekend ritual of migrant families to become the most popular sport for Aussie boys and, increasingly, girls. Its rising prominence in Australian culture comes at a time when the country is bidding for the FIFA World Cup to come here in either 2018 or 2022.

Continue reading "5.3 billion reasons the World Cup would be good for us" »

The only real winners in round 13 of the A-League were the competition’s two biggest teams to set up the most intriguing battle.

Sydney FC and Melbourne Victory both claimed impressive wins this weekend; Sydney’s dismissive 3-1 victory over Wellington and Melbourne grafting to a 2-1 win away at Perth.

Fans from the other eight clubs might disagree, but a battle for top spot between the two interstate rivals is just what the code needs right now.

Continue reading "Why the A-League needs a two horse race" »

Gold Coast United owner Clive Palmer has decided to save his club $100,000 every home game by capping the crowds at Skilled Park at 5000.

For mining billionaire Palmer, this makes perfect business sense. For anyone interested in furthering the football cause in Australia, it doesn’t even reach common sense.

Personally, I have two reactions to this story: first is the emotional fan who says this is an outrageous move that disregards the whole point of what Football Federation Australia were trying to achieve when they granted Palmer’s bid an A-League licence.

Continue reading "Gold Coast crowd cap means bad business for everyone" »

As an old time supporter of Football (or Soccer, if you feel so inclined – which many Australians do), imbalanced and factually incorrect media reports of riots, violence and hooliganism in my code is nothing new.

The rise of the A-League may have been nothing short of spectacular, but unfortunately the same old boys (usually AFL reporters) that pooh-poohed Soccer in the now defunct NSL era continue to periodically rear their snarling heads and tell us that this foreign sport is full of thugs that are more likely to slit your throat than not.

The formula is just about the same every time, and Tim Hilferty’s Monday article on The Punch ‘The myth that soccer is a family-friendly sport’ was no different.

Continue reading "Bagging out Aussie soccer fans is a hoary old look" »

Kung-Fu master, movie star and all-round whoop ass machine Bruce Lee found it hard to walk down the street in Hong Kong without being challenged to a fight by some bloke who’d watched too many of his films.

Lee would receive letters daily from other Kung Fu academies putting forward their best students for a chance to fight the master. Unsurprisingly Lee was not amused: “I find this sort of thing really annoying, I’m not going to fight with anybody.”

The bashing of AFL superstar Lance “Buddy” Franklin in a Perth nightclub (at least on the facts available) is further evidence of a less sophisticated Australian version of this ego driven phenomena.

Continue reading "You wanna fight? Why footballers get targeted" »

Arsenal striker Eduardo has been banned for two matches for diving, providing hope at last for all football fans.

A Uefa disciplinary panel ruled he cheated to win a penalty in a Champions League qualifier last week against Celtic.

The punishment far outweighs the yellow card he would have received had the referee spotted his dive, and that could be argued to be unfair.

Continue reading "Aussie soccer will never soar if diving isn’t banned" »

When Ben Hannant appeared at his door this week to reveal he had played Origin while suffering from swine flu, he wasn’t only sending shivers down the spines of league fans. A lot of surfers would have felt a pang of anxiety too. Not because of any fears about the Origin series, but because Hannant was photographed in a hoodie with a surf label emblazoned across the chest.

There’s nothing wrong, per se, with footy boof heads pulling on a surf label. Australian surf companies have clad most of the free world in reasonably stylish, affordable clothes, and for footy players to feel part of this phenomenon is perfectly understandable.

Continue reading "Boofhead league players shouldn’t surf on my wave" »