Families

So, at last, and hopefully once and for all, women in the workplace no longer have to regard being a mother as some kind of dirty little secret.

Thanks to the frankness of Tanya Plibersek and Julie Collins, the idea that working mothers need to somehow disguise or apologise for their maternal status has been blown to smithereens. I, for one, am rapt.

News of this welcome development came in simple form last week; a single-sentence intro on a plain old news story, but one that felt a whole lot like a turning point.

Continue reading "Don’t keep Mum about being a working parent" »

There are 20 minutes remaining. Score’s locked at 16-all. The young family is in the lounge room, a rare event in itself, nervously watching their Wests Tigers.

As a scrum is formed, Ray Warren proclaims with a hint of surprise the Tigers are $2.15 to win on TAB Sportsbet. Dad, slumped in his armchair, jolts, bolt upright. He commands his eight-year-old boy to bring him the phone. The little boy marvels as he watches Dad punch in the numbers with vigour.

Dad replaces his customary “hello” for a mysterious set of numbers, before announcing down the line - no, demanding - he will have a hundred dollars on the Wests Tigers, and doing it with a sense of pride. The conversation ends, the phone dispensed with.

Continue reading "Hey Xenophon, don’t shoot the gambling messengers" »

There is no ‘right’ to have a child. This seems a callous thing to say, but wrapping any conversation about children up in cuddly pink fleece-lined jumpsuits doesn’t help what has to be a serious policy debate.

While it must be devastating for couples who, for whatever reason, are unable to conceive, there are limits to society’s obligations to help them. Like most controversial health decisions, this is a tale of clashing rights and finite resources.

Last year the Federal Government made changes to the Medicare Safety Net, effectively capping the amount they would pay out for assisted reproductive treatments.

Continue reading "I’m sorry, but society doesn’t owe you a child" »

The blended family is the signature dish of contemporary society. Indeed, we must be getting close to the point where step-families are actually the norm.  Perhaps in another couple of generations people will look at nuclear families like we currently look at virgin brides - a harmless anachronism.

I for one would be sad to see the nuclear family go though. And there is a degree of species shame. You’d have thought if swans could pull it off we could.  Surely, it would be better for people to stick together for the duration.

What matter 50 years of bitter silence, laced with the occasional poisoning fantasy, when you’re producing social stability.

Continue reading "Families best shaken, not stirred or blended" »

Many years from now, a child will look up at his father and ask him for a tale from his wild and untameable youth. The man, whose eyes will scream a life without regret, will chuckle quietly and pat him gently on the head.

“Well,” he will say, “There was this one time I drank all this Red Bull and stayed up all night and wrote this algorithm that made Twitter users’ accounts spam other users’ accounts with a message telling them there’s a really funny picture of them online and they should totally click it - and then they did and it sent it to all their friends!”

“Lol,” he will add, as the boy shakes his head and punches him in the knee cap. Hard.

Continue reading "Hackers just slackers when it comes to being sexy devils" »

As the 11-hour Parramatta siege was unfolding on Tuesday, with a 52-year-old man occupying a lawyer’s chambers with his 12-year-old daughter, allegedly claiming to have a bomb in his rucksack, a remarkable discussion was taking place in real time on social media sites among Australian men’s rights advocates.

Knowing nothing about the personal circumstances of the perpetrator, the consensus among these advocates was that the man who started the siege had to be regarded as the victim here. The victim of the Family Court, the victim of a system skewed against men, the victim of a feminist conspiracy.

Knowing nothing about how the siege would resolve itself, and indifferent to the risk of harm to the 12-year-old girl, police and office workers, there was even a sense among these men’s rights advocates that the man was something of a hero. Poor bloke, pushed to the brink, someone has to stand up to the system. Here’s some examples, with the names deleted:

Continue reading "Angry men have never met a thug who wasn’t innocent" »

In a patently cynical attempt to relive its past glory, the Gillard government this weekend used Fathers’ Day to announce that it will extend parental leave to dads.

Back on Mothers’ Day in 2009, the Rudd government won almost universal plaudits by announcing an 18 week paid parental leave scheme.  In the lead up to the 2010 election the policy was still seen as such a vote winner that Tony Abbott flagged his own extravagant six month scheme, reversing his previous conviction that parental leave would be introduced ‘over his dead body’. 

More than a year later, this latest addition of paternity leave - essentially feel-good middle class welfare in search of an evidence base - shows just how anxious to revive its flagging popularity the government has become. 

Continue reading "Paid leave for dads a useless, cynical waste of money" »

In 1998, the House of Representatives Legal and Constitutional Committee issued a report entitled To Have and To Hold about marriage and family in Australia.

Writing the preface to the bipartisan report, I commented: “This report is about strengthening marital relationships. It is about preventing marital distress and the consequent breakdown of relationships. It arises from our concern for children; for their future, their happiness, and their ability to form their own loving and fulfilling relationships.”

While the family continues as a human aspiration, there have been a series of changes in family patterns throughout the industrialised world that point to a decline in marriage and a weakening of family life. To Have and To Hold summarised these patterns:

Continue reading "Stable families, stable society. It’s that simple." »

To smack or not to smack? There are few questions more hotly contested in the world of parenting. Nothing has the power to stop a barbecue in its tracks more than the casual admission that you give your kids the occasional clip behind the ear – or conversely, the solemn declaration that you would never lay a hand on your child, which brings with it the explosive suggestion that any parent who does so must be some kind of psychotic thug.

The conversation becomes even more heated when members of the older generation are present, and quickly descends into anecdotes about how they were thrashed repeatedly as kids and turned out OK, and how walking 10 miles to school and 12 miles home wasn’t child abuse but character-building.

In recent weeks we have seen a few events which have thrown light on the issues of child rearing and corporal punishment. I read several pieces which sheeted home the London riots on the fact that a whole generation of youngsters has avoided discipline, with the end result of this life without behavioural consequence being an unprecedented collective act of mass theft and vandalism by people with no political agenda.

Continue reading "Smacking a pointless act for frustrated parents" »

Daniel Patrick Moynihan, the late US senator, ambassador and statesman, caused widespread consternation when he released a report in 1965 about the disintegration of the negro family in America.

Sub-titled ‘The case for national action’, Moynihan’s report argued that without jobs, negro men would become alienated as husbands and fathers, leading to family dysfunction and breakdown, increasing out-of-wedlock births and sole parenthood, declining education outcomes and entrenched poverty.

“From the wild Irish slums of the 19th century Eastern seaboard, to the riot-torn suburbs of Los Angeles, there is one unmistakable lesson in American history; a community that allows a large number of men to grow up in broken families, dominated by women, never acquiring any stable relationships to male authority, never acquiring any set of rational expectations about the future – that community asks for and gets chaos.

Continue reading "Why Britain is broken, and how it might be fixed" »

According to Penbo, the retail union’s anachronistic attachment to Catholic values - keep the Lord’s day holy and all that - spells trouble for the retail industry.

As a card-carrying Catholic, and a former member of (and organiser for) the shop assistants’ union, I thought it might be fair to lob a few thoughts into the mix by way of retort.

As it happens, my mum and sister run a bookshop in Sydney’s CBD (www.portico.com.au), and a mighty fine one at that, so I am no stranger to the challenges faced by retailers in the current market.

Continue reading "Families close for business when shops open longer" »

We worry if we’ve got too much or too little; we notch up our conquests and proudly slip that number into conversation; and we spend more and more time trawling the net looking for it.

We’re looking for friends. Or followers. In the past year, there’s been an 82 per cent jump in the amount of time Australians spend on social networking sites and nearly 10 million of us log more than eight hours a month on Facebook, Twitter and blogs.

Problem is, all this skimming of Wall posts and retweeting is only making us feel more isolated.

Continue reading "1048 friends, 4598 followers, 1 lonely soul" »

There are a couple of flippant faux-diagnostic accusations that get thrown about with abandon: “Clearly got Asperger’s” and “That’s child abuse”.

The first gets directed at anyone with a vague difficulty coping in social situations; the second to parents escorting children with issues ranging from mullet hairstyles to a clear case of childhood obesity.

Well, US doctors just upped the ante and suggested that in certain circumstances obese children should be removed from their parents’ calorie-laden care and into a foster family. Dr David Ludwig, from the Children’s Hospital in Boston, and his colleague Lindsey Murtagh from the Harvard School of Public Health, wrote a provocative letter to the American Medical Association journal.

Continue reading "How do you know if you’re abusing your child?" »

And now, here’s this week’s second anonymous Angry Cripple, who as you’ll see, is none too impressed with the first one

I am an angry cripple. A real one. Not someone who claims they are “crippled by the system” or gets all euphemistic about it.

I’m an actual cripple. I use a wheelchair for 98 per cent of my waking life. I have physical ‘deformities’, or so the medical profession has told me since I was old enough to understand. I’m one of those people you see on the street that makes you shift uncomfortably in your coat. I’m stared at, I’m patronised, I’m told I don’t belong among you normal people.

But none of these things are the reason that I’m angry. I’m an Angry Cripple today because, usually, I’m a Proud Cripple. I’m well practiced at ignoring the stares, at challenging the patronising tone, at standing my ground in a world that doesn’t welcome me. I’m not alone. We’re a pretty common breed us Proud Cripples. Sometimes people like to call us activists.

Continue reading "Counterpunch: You belittle us, and mock our pride" »

Yesterday, a private email from British woman Carolyn Bourne to her prospective daughter-in-law went viral. The father of the bride-to-be has since replied, mouthing off big time at Carolyn Bourne. The aggrieved bride-to-be has not yet made a statement or sent a reply email. But if she did, we imagine it might go a little like this…

My Dear Lady Snootybuttocks III. Oh wait, you’re actually a commoner like me, innit ya stuck up bitch? Let me start again. “Dear Carolyn”. Actually, “Dear Mum” Yes, that will do nicely. Because make no mistake, I am marrying that hot stepson of yours.

Here’s the thing, Mum. You think I’m trashy, like one of those “brash” celebrities whose lives you breathlessly consume through all those trashy mags in the conservatory. That’s right, I’ve seen the pile of OK magazines hidden underneath the Horse & Hounds.

So perhaps you’d be good enough to tell me why celebrities, whose lives are full of glitz and glamour, can get married in castles, but the rest of us can’t dare to dream? It wouldn’t be because you dreamed and failed, would it? Or is it simply because your knickers are tighter than a Scotsman’s fist?

Continue reading "A considered retort to the mother-in-law from hell" »

The scenes outside the Stonewall Inn after the announcement that the New York Senate had passed the legislation to enable marriage equality could have not been more different to the riot that gave Stonewall its reputation as the epicentre of the gay rights movement back on 27 June 1969.

Jubilation, tears of joy and relief, marriage proposals, the crowd spontaneously breaking into choruses of “New York, New York”. Watching it on Twitter and YouTube provided a sense of immediacy, but I have never before wanted so much to be there in New York City to experience first hand such a moment in history.

Back in Australia, and ironically, this weekend yet another ALP State conference defied the bloody-minded rhetoric of its Federal leader to vote in support of marriage equality.

Continue reading "NY gay marriage vote: I wanna be a part of it" »

“This is a vote that is not about morality, that is not about religion. You can’t legislate morality, but you can legislate justice.”

The words of Senator Eric Schneiderman, New York Attorney General, are a poetic reminder of why the New York Senate passed legislation allowing same-sex couples to marry. On Friday, New York became the sixth state in the US to remove discrimination in marriage laws, joining Iowa, Massachusetts, Vermont, Connecticut and New Hampshire.

This decision comes amidst a range of local and international moves in the past month to recognise the civil rights of sexual and gender minorities. In a historic move, the majority of countries in the United Nations Human Rights Council passed a resolution condemning violence and discrimination against people on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity.

Continue reading "When it comes to marriage, justice should be apolitical" »

My name is Sandy and I am a fiancée, mother, friend, and primary school teacher.

My gorgeous fiancée of two years, Louise, is an ex-nurse who now works as a medical equipment consultant to hospitals. We have two beautiful boys from my previous marriage – aged 11 and 9.

We are a loving and close family, just like any other. Except in one way: my partner and I are both women so under Australian law, cannot marry. Many people do not regard us as a family.

Continue reading "When I go to dinner with the Prime Minister…" »

It is a sunny Saturday in Sydney and an immaculately-attired family of five are standing as one to photograph their lunches in a posh seafood restaurant.

Mother is inspired by a spray of fluorescent caviar over curled cucumber slices. Father is attempting to frame the table’s human subjects as well as its plates (quite a feat when everyone is hovering and squinting behind their smartphones).

Daughters one, two and three, meanwhile, are less impressed with the beauty of the haute cuisine than with the digital tricks permitted by their phones’ extensive collection of photo manipulation software. They are amused (understandably) at their ability to digitally decapitate their parents and replace their heads with spanner crabs.

Continue reading "Zen and the art of managing technology" »

A friend of a friend is turning 40 and all she wants to mark the ending of her 30s is sex with someone other than her husband.

I’m told this woman doesn’t want to leave her husband – he’s a top bloke. But what she’s seeking is a feeling she hasn’t felt for a decade – that pulse-quickening, heart-thumping, deeply elemental, electric jolt called lust.

“I get it,” says my friend. “She’s only ever slept with two men and she’s coming to terms with the fact she’ll never experience sex with someone new ever again.”

Continue reading "Lust and marriage: loving one, lusting after another" »

The Government will be hoping that the convoluted and dense reckoning of professor Ross Garnaut will counter the slick and glib one-liners of Tony Abbott.

The Opposition has successfully been telling the public that a “carbon tax” - or on occasion the “toxic tax” - will wreck household budgets already flattened by other cost-increasing factors.

The proposed carbon price has been depicted as a financial horror which would dwarf those already-punishing family expenses.

Continue reading "Carbon pricing: At least Garnaut hasn’t been gagged" »

A Canadian couple is deliberately raising a ‘genderless’ baby, so it can be free of society’s expectations. The first question on everyone’s lips is, of course: “What would Amy Chua say?”.

Now the fabulously strict ‘Tiger Mother’ and law professor Amy Chua is a busy woman over the other side of the world. But thankfully she put all her parenting know-how into her tidy little book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.

So I decided it would be entirely appropriate to use the book as an Oracle from which one can glean wisdom on the topic at hand by randomly picking quotes.

Continue reading "A Tiger Mother’s take on raising a ‘genderless’ baby" »

It hasn’t been a good week for disaffected fathers. Most weeks aren’t. Since Mick Fox disrupted half of Sydney to protest his custodial battle, we’ve seen the shocking case of Paul Rogers, who fatally gassed himself and his daughter Kyla, while the awful case of Ramazan Acar goes through the courts. Read the gruesome details if you dare.

As we all know, custodial battles over children are the common thread in these and many similar cases. But why do men snap? At what point does frustration boil over into mass scale public nuisance… or even to murder?

Let’s take a small picture view and a big picture view. The small picture, with a focus on the ass that is family law, comes from Barry Williams, president of the Lone Fathers Association. The wide view comes from social analyst Richard Eckersley, who regularly measures Australia’s pulse through a thing called the Wellbeing Index.

Continue reading "When good dads go bad, and bad dads turn murderous" »

It is regrettable that the Gillard Labor government didn’t bear in mind the theme of this year’s National Families Week when framing its Budget. The theme of the week is “Sticking Together – families in good times and tough times.”

The Gillard government will rip $50 million from family support services from the next financial year.

Family Relationship Centres will suffer funding cuts from January 1, 2012. Although the cut to the centres has been delayed until next year, it is estimated that 2,500 families will receive no service or wait up to three months for an initial assessment.

Continue reading "No help for unhappy families in the budget" »

It’s not long ago that when people talked about the Federal Budget, the discussion was about more than hand-outs or who got what. It was about what the Budget meant for the nation, what it was going to leave for future generations, and how it was going to make Australia a better society.

This year’s budget hasn’t pleased everybody – Budgets never do. Some might have found it a bit underwhelming, but given the Government’s priority of returning the budget to surplus, it was not going to have the money for major projects.

What has surprised me is the nature of the debate in the media – the seeming obsession with minor changes to eligibility for family payments – and the lack of interest in how the budget deals with the challenge of getting people into work, improving the nation’s skills or fighting mental illness.

Continue reading "Ask not what the budget can do for you…" »

When the going gets tough, life only gets tougher. That’s the feeling among many voters after last week’s federal Budget.

In trying to spread the burden of cuts in order to return the economy to a fiscal surplus in two years, the Gillard Government’s self-proclaimed “tough” Budget managed to land a blow to almost everyone from the unemployed to double-income households.

But it was the effect on middle-class families that has become one of the main battlegrounds in the aftermath of this Budget, with plans to freeze family payments to families on a combined income of more than $150,000 a year - saving the Government $2 billion.

Continue reading "Tough times in taxpayer land? Only if you’re greedy" »

Before we had children, my husband and I had dual careers. We both jumped on planes at a moment’s notice, saw each other when we could and, in rare, quiet times, pinched ourselves because we had jobs we loved.

Then I became pregnant. My husband bought baby clothes. Lots of them. Being the literary tragic I am, I daydreamed about a daughter with a Shakespearean name: Cordelia, Ophelia, Perdita. As if.

What we didn’t think about, because neither of us are planners, was how we’d share looking after said baby. I was determined to be a mother, first and foremost, but I was also young, freelancing and the first of my friends to have a baby. Wouldn’t it just fit in?

Continue reading "Having babies is a choice and a sacrifice" »

Irony of ironies. In a time of unprecedented communications control where political statements are workshopped to death, both sides of politics are struggling for clarity.

What for weeks had been slated as a tough Budget softened greatly as the day approached and eventually emerged as a “Labor Budget”. In name anyway.

Indeed, Wayne Swan, Julia Gillard, and Penny Wong said so often as they ‘executed’ their media plan - a dizzying blitz of interviews across the land. Yet in reality, it was perhaps more of an old-style Liberal budget, winding in spending, lowering welfare payments and attaching tough new strings to disability support payments, the dole, and other supports.

Continue reading "Budget 2011: We’re all liberals now" »

Recently I had dinner with a senior diplomat who spoke bravely about confronting the sheer horror of turning 50. The unwavering march of the calendar date toward him was ruthless.

In the meantime he was stubbornly holding on to being in his forties. As a 43-year-old myself, he desperately looked in my direction in search of a common age identity.

In youth growing old was good. Age brought an end to study, hopefully a nice job, and with it economic emancipation. Age was also a ticket to fun: independence, romance, and booze.

Continue reading "Turning 50: When age does start to weary me" »

In sport, teams go to great lengths to paint themselves as the underdog. It’s a tired old tactic designed to lull the other team into unwittingly going a bit easier on them, and it rarely works.

The same principle has been eagerly adopted by families in the wake of this week’s budget, and the decision to freeze the indexing of family payments to families earning in excess of $150,000. And to some extent, the tactic appears to be working.

The logic of families at or just above the $150k threshold is pretty simple, and can be loosely summarised like this: We’re not rich. In fact, we’re struggling to get ahead. Gimme gimme gimme!

Continue reading "We’re not rich, we’re battling middle class welfare addicts" »

Child health experts told a Sydney conference last week that children as young as six are displaying inappropriate sexual behaviour – and that violent and sexually explicit images in advertising and popular culture were to blame.

Why wasn’t this front page news?

Most disturbingly, over the past decade there has been a 20-fold increase in the number of children being referred to the Australian Childhood Foundation with these serious problems. We’re talking about sexual assaults on other children by children, and sexualised play.  (Ed’s note: See the news story on Sophie Mirabella’s call for tougher advertising restrictions here.

Continue reading "Our kids are getting adult content instead of fairytales" »

Hysteria. Queues. Outragious fashion. Prince Charming. We had it all on Friday night - in Homebush.

An hour before Kate swept gracefully into Westminster Abbey, I made my own dramatic entrance, swept off my feet by some moss and down my friend’s front steps in Balmain, taking out a large pot plant and fracturing my toe (now purple).

Sprawled across the damp pavers - a potted azalea in my lap, bits of me hurting but I wasn’t sure which yet - I took one look at my 12-year-old and saw that she had crowned me, in that moment, the Most Embarrassing Mum Ever.

Continue reading "An un-Belieber tells: Why I missed the Royal Wedding" »

It just doesn’t sound right – a church that wants to stop incentives to breed.

But that’s exactly what’s happening with the Anglicans. They want to get rid of “any policy that provides an incentive specifically and primarily to increase Australia’s population, notably the baby bonus”.

Even stranger, despite an inbuilt desire to disagree with any religious views on reproduction, I reckon they’re right.

Continue reading "Breeding dissent: Time to scrap the baby bonus?" »

Apparently one in four teenagers experiment with drugs.  Though you’ve got to wonder whether the real hellraisers are dutifully completing questionnaires or participating in whatever research it is from which these statistics are derived.

For young people involved in the advertising industry the figure increases from one in four to three in four. Of course that second figure is bollocks – or more precisely, I made it up and have no evidence for it. 

In any event, in the vast majority of cases, the one in four have their fun, push their boundaries and get away with it. Now they’re grown up: They’ve got mortgages, business cards, ABNS, golf clubs, lawnmowers, children.  And their bongs, pills or powders are safely consigned to the annals of history.

Continue reading "Will you tell your kids you experimented with drugs?" »

Generally, I like being a woman. The conversations are great; breasts are both useful and attractive, if I do say so myself; plus, we get to wear more interesting stuff than jeans and variations on the blue shirt. But, recently, I’ve been hankering for a gender opt-out. I’d like a day – actually, make that a week – of being a man.

From the outside, I’m sure it looks as if Girl World is all book clubs and mutual support, and long phone calls and caring, sharing emails. Which it is. Mostly. But while we weren’t watching, a serpent must have slithered into the Garden of Eve because, right now, us girls are in danger of critiquing ourselves to death.

There’s barely an issue that doesn’t polarise us: breast vs bottle, caesarean vs natural birth, tramp vs virgin, tiger mother vs western mother, Botox vs wrinkles, skinny vs fat, airbrushing vs real. And on it goes.

Continue reading "No winners when women turn on women" »

Ninety-four year old actress Zsa Zsa Gabor’s ninth husband, Prince Frederik von Anhalt, reportedly wants her to have a baby using his sperm, a donor egg and a surrogate mother. Yes, he does. He visited a Beverley Hills fertility clinic for sperm analysis and blood work. 

There have been no reports of him also having his head read; however, Gabor’s daughter, 64-year-old Francesca Hilton (a product of Gabor’s second marriage to hotel magnate, Conrad Hilton) has denounced the story as the latest in a string of wild publicity stunts by her seventh step-father.

And while the Gabor-Anhalts gallivant around celebrity baby clinics (if gallivanting is possible when you are just shy of a century, with a partially-amputated leg), my friend – a single mum of two young children – has announced that she has successfully battled cancer at the age of 38.  Facing her own mortality, she had to put in place a plan for the care of her children, which involved her parents and her sisters. 

Continue reading "When is it too late to procreate?" »

Yesterday in The Punch, David Penberthy ridiculed the gambling industry’s claims that pokie-reform was un-Australian. But the $20m campaign by Australian Hotels Association and Clubs Australia campaign about the so-called “licence to punt” is more than just shallow and bankrupt politicking – it’s plainly misleading.

There is NO proposal to have a licence to punt and those concerned about the damage poker machines do are not calling for a licence to punt.

The pre-commitment scheme currently under consideration applies only to poker machines (not punting more generally) and at its simplest is a basic consumer protection tool which will allow gamblers to pre-set a limit to how much they will spend.

Continue reading "Big Gaming is pushing all the wrong buttons" »

Justice may be blind, but many Australian farmers find the scales are tipped against them as they struggle to come to terms with a growing minefield of environmental regulations on top of other natural enemies.

They are not fighting the concept of land management, but the way in which their properties can be ‘locked up’ or confiscated without proper compensation. They can be prosecuted for something suddenly illegal under frequent amendments to vegetation laws which can be applied retrospectively. The farmer is virtually presumed guilty until innocence can be proven, often at great expense.

Those who live in cities and urban areas might find this difficult to comprehend. The following events are more suited to a communist dictatorship but they happened in our “free country” …

Continue reading "Laws of the land create an unjust environment" »

A cheeseburger, small fries and a triple-thick shake constitutes a McDonald’s Happy Meal in the US and clocks up 1,090 calories, although reassuringly the small plastic toy that’s included in the meal is usually inedible and thus calorie-free.

Leroy Comrie, a Councilman from Queens in New York, blames his portly size of 152kg on scoffing Happy Meals as a child and wants the city to follow in San Francisco’s footsteps by outlawing the toys, in an effort to promote healthier eating habits.

There are undoubtedly many problems with the toys included in Happy Meals - their plastic toxins can’t be great for the environment and they contribute to landfill, plus when Macca’s run out of a certain toy it can lead to a sibling war. But the toys themselves are not responsible for fat kids.

Continue reading "Keep the happy but lose the crappy in happy meals" »

He’s been billed as New Zealand’s answer to the Super Nanny and his program The Politically Incorrect Parenting Show, which advocates punishing children by padlocking them in their rooms, will be screening in Australia later this year.

Nigel Latta says that reasoning with toddlers is “like trying to explain bad behaviour to drunken rugby hoons with the language skills of a chimpanzee” and that the only way to bring the little buggers into line and save your own sanity is to lock them away for a while.

Latta, who it should be stressed doesn’t support smacking, is entitled to his view. It’s clearly a harsh view, and the theatrical addition of a padlock to the traditional time-out is obviously there to drive ratings. But there would be plenty of frazzled parents out there who would agree that from time to time the only solution to a crazed tantrum-throwing two-year-old is a dose of isolation, to let them cool down and regroup shortly after. Ideally without resorting to a padlock.

Continue reading "Say yes to Easter eggs but no to naughty corners" »

There’ll be no more excuses for under-performing children now their parents can get them tested for sporting prowess.

A US company is selling DNA home testing kits – just swab the little darling and post it off, and they’ll let you know whether you’re nurturing the next Usain Bolt.

Just what competitive parents need in the race to have the best child in the world. Now they can hang around the school gate boasting that not only did little precious learn to align a Rubik’s Cube at two months, he also has the genes of a champion.

Continue reading "Competitive parenting’s latest weapon" »

If the internet is to be believed — and I see no good reason why we shouldn’t believe everything we read on the internet — Facebook has become essential to staging a revolution. As the Web 2.0 (or are we up to 3.0?) commentators keep telling us, if you’re planning on toppling a dictatorial regime, then best first spruce up your Facebook profile.

But we in the West who already inhabit the sunny uplands of democracy haven’t been slouches when it comes to using Facebook to effect large scale social change. A case in point: I recently came across a Facebook group set up to fight the good fight against noisy children in restaurants.

I hadn’t previously noticed this scourge, but apparently restaurants across the nation have been overrun by parents. Even worse, these parents, many of whom would have you believe are responsible and upstanding members of society, have been thoughtlessly taking their children along with them.

Continue reading "Families have dined out on the public long enough" »

I once wrote and directed a play (yes, a real play – in a theatre, in front of an audience) in which one character gives his son some life advice along the lines of: “Try to live life the way that old Keith Miller played cricket. Dashing. Brylcreamed. Individual. Larger than life!  Not giving a damn for what anyone else thinks.”.

So for no good reason, here are 49 pieces of gratuitous advice for my two sons Charlie and Sam on this, my 49th birthday.

1. Never raise your hand to a woman.

Continue reading "A father’s advice to his sons" »

Apologising is tough work. Most of us are hard wired to defend our actions, even when deep down inside we know we were wrong.

There are certainly historical precedents that show politicians are reluctant - to the point of childish stubbornness - when it comes to saying sorry.

So here’s to Opposition immigration spokesman Scott Morrison, who this morning apologised for his “insensitive” comments questioning whether we should foot the bill for families to attend the funerals of those who died in the Christmas Island boat tragedy.

Continue reading "When sorry seems to be the hardest word" »

He was a husband, a father, a son, a lover of food and four-wheel drives and a passionate soldier.

And now there is a chance that Lance-Corporal Jared MacKinney might be remembered because of the furore that erupted over footage of the Opposition Leader uttering the phrase ``s—t happens’’ during a discussion about how the young man lost his life in Afghanistan.

If this incident leads to the downfall of Tony Abbott, it would be a tragedy and another sad footnote in the events surrounding the death of a fine, respected soldier.

Continue reading "This is actually about a husband and a father" »

Abused kids deserve better than spin.

As the Federal Convenor of Parliamentarians Against Child Abuse and Neglect, I applaud the Baillieu Coalition Government for making the welfare of all Victorian children a priority in 2011. 

The announcement last week of an inquiry into the systemic problems in Victoria’s child protection system is overdue and welcome.  Such an inquiry is much needed not only for all those who work in the child protection system but more importantly, for those who are living with abuse. 

Continue reading "Throwing money at child abuse won’t make it go away" »

We’ve had free-range parenting, helicopter parenting, attachment parenting and now we have ``tiger mums’‘.

In case you missed the shitstorm, Yale University Professor Amy Chua has penned a book called Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, in which she says that the recipe for successful child raising involves:

• Never going to sleepovers or playdates.
• Never watching television, playing computer games or choosing their own extracurricular activities.
• Never not being the number one student in every subject except gym or drama, and never playing any instrument other than the piano or violin.

Continue reading "Are today’s parents toothless tigers?" »

Nicole Kidman has welcomed a new biological daughter via a ‘gestational carrier’, Princess Mary had her twins in a natural, four-hour birth and Miranda Kerr released a statement that she gave birth to her 9 lbs., 12 oz., baby in a long, arduous and difficult labour ‘naturally, without drugs or painkillers!!!’. 

As a mum of three who has been through labour twice, I fully appreciate Miranda’s use of three exclamation marks to describe her drug-free birth.

Gosh, I give myself three for enduring it with drugs and scramble to find enough punctuation to describe the caesarean.  One way you can’t sit down.  The other way you can’t stand up.

Continue reading "Competitive childbirth - it’s ‘mum-upmanship’" »

Between baby bonuses and maternity payments, pushy people and their prying questions, there is too much pressure to push out puppies.

And most of it comes from men.

I get that people want to reproduce. Really.

Continue reading "In defence of choosing childlessness" »

My attempts to write something in response to news that a Victorian couple - desperate for a daughter - had aborted twin boys conceived through IVF, met repeatedly with failure. I had a dental abscess when the story broke and I couldn’t think about the scenario without gnashing my teeth. 

In the end, I had to stop writing, take two Nurofen Plus, lie on the couch and watch inane TV to calm down. 

Toddlers and Tiaras would do the trick, I thought, wrongly.

Continue reading "Modern parenting is losing the plot" »

A Melbourne couple’s decision to abort twin boys conceived through IVF – the weekend’s flashpoint news story – is a can of worms, a hornets’ nest and a Mandelbrot set of ethical complexity all in one.

The couple, after the death of their first baby girl, wasn’t happy with the twins’ gender and is now in the midst of legal action to pre-determine the sex of their next IVF baby.

Which, you might be surprised to learn, we can do nowadays. Some medical industry smart arse has even rebranded it ‘family balancing’.

Continue reading "Playing with nature - the ethics of sex selection" »

I find it amazing that policymakers have oversimplified the paid parental leave debate, saying it will increase the workforce participation rate.

How?

When Westpac and St George introduced paid parental leave, it wasn’t necessarily to get women back from maternity leave, but to get women into those companies over other companies. They knew that if they had something that NAB or CBA didn’t have, St George and Westpac become ‘employers of choice’.

Continue reading "It’s going to take more to keep mothers working" »

What I’m about to say is pretty taboo but I don’t care any more.

This animal-loving thing has got way out of hand.

I’m all for saving the many-spotted snorkeling frog of South America and the endangered pine cone-licking mouse thing of Wacka Wacka Island, but enough is enough.

Continue reading "Not smarter than your average film" »

Across the nation, bins are ringing with the sound of discarded contraceptives as women prepare to embrace motherhood for the princely sum of $570-odd a week.

Well, that’s what Australians opposed to the Government’s paid parental leave scheme seem to think. There is a perception that this is just welfare, another baby bonus, a bribe to have children.

It’s not.

Continue reading "Parental leave is more about the welfare of the ageing" »

I’m devoting the post festive period to catching up on some light reading – specifically the fine print on the toys my four year old received for Christmas.

The back of her model butterfly painting kit is particularly strange and hallucinogenic. 

“Colorized Scalewing of Flutter is a new product congregated with toy and DIY together, using your both hands to portray and assembled beautiful colorized scalewing,” it reads. “[S]et free your polychrome dream in the play.”

Continue reading "Absurd capitalist dystopias and trampolines" »

Yet again organised religions are demanding special treatment which cannot be justified by rational argument.

What are their reasons for declaring same-sex-orientated people unsuitable to be foster parents?

One can only imagine it is their own disgraceful priestly and orphanage experiences that have brought them to this view, because the facts tell a different story.

Continue reading "A God-given right to discriminate?" »

From the moment the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve, Australia will begin summoning in a new generation – let’s call them Generation Fair – the first group of young Australians born under a universal scheme to support their parents through their first few months.

If you believe some, there will be an influx in the early hours of mothers desperate to hold back their child to join this select group.

Having gone through the rigours of childbirth myself, I doubt that – but I do accept these kids will be fortunate to be members of this new club.

Continue reading "Welcome to Generation Fair" »

On 1 January 2011 Australia will get its first ever national government-funded Paid Parental Leave scheme. This is a historic reform which will benefit not just mums, dads and babies, but also businesses.

In designing our Paid Parental Leave scheme, the Australian Government engaged business as part of the process. We wanted to ensure the scheme is not only fair to business, but helps employers retain valuable and skilled staff.

Having a baby is for many people part of balancing everyday work and family life.  That’s why the Government had designed our Paid Parental Leave scheme to be delivered as a workplace entitlement, just like annual leave or sick leave.

Continue reading "Getting down to the business of parental leave" »

Recently I was at an airport, about to set off on a 24-hour long haul flight.

If you’ve ever travelled on a plane and felt frustrated at hearing a crying baby on a nearby seat, multiply that frustration and stress by ten and you’ll understand what the parents are going through.

Having a young family myself, I’ve been there plenty.

Continue reading "Taking out the trash" »

The camel is broken, I’ve lost the plot and, quite frankly, it’s been absolutely liberating. 

\

Queue sharp intake of breath…. I went to my children’s school this morning clad only in my purple dressing gown, accessorised with sunglasses, polka dot gumboots, and carrying my undergarments in my pocket.  Granted, I didn’t alight from the car, so for all those peering through the windows of my highly utilitarian people mover, I could have been wearing a very fluffy hoody, but it was the stand I was taking for all us working, stay at home, full time carers, students, mothers, nurses of elderly parents and juggling women that mattered most to me. 

I “took one” for my diverse sisterhood, and it’s the best thing I’ve done for myself for quite a while. 

Continue reading "The plot is lost, I’ve happily gone mad in suburbia" »

Christian Democrat MLC Fred Nile addressed NSW Parliament yesterday, condemning the Adoption Amendment (Same-Sex Couples) Bill on the grounds it would threaten the fundamental rights of children.

“Is this really an ideological issue or homosexuals demanding yet another human right?” For Mr. Nile, the debate is easily reduced to either ideological issues or gay rights. But where do children fit into the equation?

We can talk about ‘the best interests of children’ and many in this debate claim to, but why are these claims often made in polemical rather than empirical terms. That is, maybe we should look to actual families rather than our ‘common sense’ fantasy of the ideal family.

Continue reading "Sexuality and religion should be no barrier to a family" »

To the 100,00-odd, predominately young voters, who courtesy of Get-Up, will be making their first quivering steps towards the polling booth in a couple of weeks - let me apologise on behalf of the two major parties.

They’re just not that into you.

For both Labor and the Coalition, the love is gone for younger voters. In fact, the two major parties seem to have forgotten these voters whose sway at the ballot box last time around was lauded as having helped unseat a decades-old reigning political force in their mad scramble for the “family” vote.

Continue reading "Young voters trampled in stampede for family vote" »

Legitimating gay marriage is like legalising child abuse’. Family First Senate candidate Wendy Francis’ comments on Twitter reiterate the homophobic anxieties towards same-sex parenting and marriage that continue to plague the political imagination in Australia.

Ms Francis’ archaic commentaries reflect a traumatic history in which same-sex couples were not simply discriminated or alienated, but were produced as criminal deviants. Much of the rhetoric that connected pedophilia and homosexuality emerged in the early 20th century where psychological, legal and religious institutions claimed that being ‘gay’ was a perversion or a disorder. Francis’ comments recuperate this history in an extremely unpalatable way.

While the comments may not have the same currency today, the homophobic rhetoric of ‘difference’ continues to be recycled today in different ways. Today, homosexuality is not a crime. However, the law uses sexuality to limit involvement in other social relationships.

Continue reading "The law still agrees with Wendy Francis" »

Just to be absolutely clear, smashing convicted paedophile and child rapist Dennis Ferguson over the head with a medicine ball is not the ideal way to respond to his presence in a city gymnasium.

That said, Ferguson’s presence in a city gymnasium is not an ideal situation either.

Especially when he just sits there, dressed in a business suit, not even exercising at all, but outside at the pool where he can gaze at dozens of primary school kids who are learning to swim. Especially when he times his visits to coincide with the swimming lessons, either the primary school kids in the mornings, or the high school students when he visits in the afternoon.

Continue reading "Watching the kids swim, with Dennis Ferguson" »

Oscar Wilde, the famous 19th century Irish poet once said: “The expletive is the refuge of the semi-literate”.  In other words; swearing is for dumb heads.

Well, all I can say is, if the ‘refuge’ was an actual place, it would be packed to the rafters—considering the number of foul-mouthed ‘dumb heads’ around these days.  And yes, okay, I might be among their number too at times, I admit.  (Before anyone starts calling me a hypocrite because they’ve heard me say naughty words).  Yes, we 21st century folk certainly say lots of words that would’ve made our Victorian ancestors’ hair curl.

As a kid, while I soon became aware of most swear words (mainly thanks to the neighbourhood kids who were clearly more world-wise than me) I would never dare use them.  And, even though my Dad, an ex-army pugilist and a Scotsman to boot (apparently a very bad combo for swear-ability) was always pretty careful not to swear around us kids or in public, I still, in fact, heard my first F Bomb from his own lips.

Continue reading "Foul language gone Wilde" »

Okay, so this is a delicate topic. How a woman ‘should’ give birth is such an emotion-charged issue because it’s something a woman has imagined since the moment she found out where babies come from.

If I am brutally honest, there are two camps of women here: one group of very vocal women who are yet to give birth, who are probably pregnant and have a very detailed birth plan (right down to scented candles and essentials oils). The other (far more realistic) group of women are the ones who know that a birth plan gets shot to shit when it’s crunch time.

And by crunch time, I mean that pivotal moment when you scream, “Please get this baby out of my body immediately, or I will kill someone.” (Not that I said this. In fact, I am surprised that for someone who likes profanities, I didn’t call my husband any names or tell him it was ‘his fault’. And whatever else Hollywood makes you believe is ‘normal’ during an intense delivery).

Continue reading "The best way to give birth" »

For reasons beyond their control there are children, indeed babies, who find themselves in circumstances where the state is their legal guardian. It is not the choice of the child nor is it a new phenomenon. Seeing them as particularly vulnerable, societies have taken great care to look after such children, especially if they have neither a mother nor father.

Without a biological mother or father or suitable family member or relative, the state has deemed it in the best interest of the child to be raised by a woman and a man, a mother and a father in a permanent relationship.

New South Wales has had responsible government since 1856 - over 150 years. Over that period, governments of all persuasions have acknowledged and supported the general proposition that a child’s best interest is served when that child is raised by a mother and a father. This has been seen, correctly in my view, as a valid principle that has guided our collective decision-making with respect to protecting the wellbeing of children. The principle is underpinned by that profound bond that exists between a child and a mother and a father; a bond that is intrinsically known and understood by all cultures, down the ages for as long as anybody can remember.

Continue reading "No law change should allow gay adoption in NSW" »

In the dying days of the 2007 election campaign, when the Liberals were thrashing around helplessly awaiting inevitable defeat, Tony Abbott gave an interview which he quickly came to regret.

The then Health Minister sat down with News Limited press gallery journalist Steve Lewis and offered his account of what a Rudd Labor Government would look like. It included an unflattering appraisal of the personal attributes the would-be Deputy Prime Minister Julia Gillard would bring to the nation’s political leadership.

Abbott made the loaded, nudge-nudge-wink-wink observation that Ms Gillard was a “one-dimensional political animal” who would struggle to relate to ordinary mums and dads.

Continue reading "Our childless, fruitless PM" »

By the looks of Facebook, Aussie rangas are taking great pride in one of their own grabbing the top job. So imagine how I’m feeling. As an unmarried, childless heathen it looks like someone who reflects my personal values has finally become Prime Minister.

I know she wouldn’t put it as bluntly as I’m about to, but I feel positive Julia privately holds my beliefs on some of the big issues: religion, marriage, and children.

On the first two I think what she actually once said was that they weren’t “important” to her, and on the question of kids that she thought it wasn’t fair for her to be a parent when she was so committed to her career. 

Continue reading "Gillard is doing it for all the unmarried barren atheists" »

‘It is in the best interests of children to have both a mother and a father’. In a society where marriage, heterosexuality and family are so closely intertwined, such a simple, albeit clichéd, statement would seem uncontroversial.

In fact, the idea of a mother and a father in a married relationship carries such political and cultural currency that it is hard to imagine having children in circumstances that do not fit neatly under the matrimonial rubric.

So how do we then manage to contemplate a family unit that is not only unmarried, but has two mums or two dads?

Continue reading "It’s time to allow gay couples to adopt children" »

Encouraging couples to identify and resolve their disputes in a non-adversarial manner has been an aspiration for family policy makers for decades.

Despite inadequacies on display from time to time, it was the motivation behind the Family Law Act and the Child Support legislation.

A significant step forward was the establishment of 65 Family Relationship Centres across the nation by the Howard Government. As the researchers, Lawrie Maloney and Bruce Smyth, wrote in 2004, ‘Spread widely across the country, the Centres would be capable of responding to local needs and at the same time, guide families towards conflict resolution processes that are child focused, dignified and relatively inexpensive.’

Continue reading "Secret cuts to relationship services hurting families" »

The Rudd Government’s paid parental leave scheme appallingly places prisoners on a higher pedestal than stay at home mums - mums who slog their guts out all day trying to look after their kids who need 24-7 attention.

While paid parental leave is a good thing the Government’s scheme has more holes in it than Swiss cheese.

On page 20 of the explanatory memorandum of the Paid Parental Leave Bill 2010, it says that prisoners who perform work in prison would be eligible for the Government’s paid parental leave scheme.

Continue reading "Parental leave scheme treats mothers like criminals" »

The Government needs to come clean on what its Paid Parental Leave Scheme really means for working families, starting with its name.

It’s a great irony that an initiative called Paid Parental Leave does not actually give anyone an actual right to time off work after birth.

In fact, if an employee has been working for less than 12 months, they have no guarantee they can return to their job if they take leave.

Continue reading "Paid parental leave policy is missing actual leave" »

As all the cool kids got themselves in a lather over last night’s budget I noticed a distinct void in the chatter.  Where were the mums and dads? Turns out that lots of them were watching Masterchef (possibly the people’s new opium) - studiously avoiding the budget telecast.

Political apathy seemed to be the flavour of the day, plated up and served with a side of Couldn’t Give a Shit.

Was it the fault of the no-frills budget? Or have we lost faith in a government which once seemed to promise so much?

Continue reading "Boring, unsexy: Who’d rather watch MasterChef?" »

I always thought that one of the greatest gifts you can give your children is the love of reading.

It leads to a lifetime of learning and broadens the mind, as it opens up a new world of discovery and fantasy.

I longed to sit down with my son, Harrison, enjoy a book and special time together. But it rarely happened.

Continue reading "My first iPhone: why technology is good for kids" »

This Friday the Attorneys General of all our states and territories will decide whether to create an R18+ category for computer and video games.

We’re often told it is indisputable that a child watching the very occasional 30-second McDonalds’ advertisement will have their eating habits irrevocably changed. They are headed for a life of junk food. The games industry has of course lobbied hard, but if the attorneys decide in favour of R18+ games they will owe Ronald McDonald a huge apology.

Because amazingly the attorneys might decide this week that hours and hours of playing computer games with highly simulated and even interactive violence and sex won’t affect children in any way.

Continue reading "Feeding kids on a diet of video game junk" »

Whilst the Logies and Rosemount Australian Fashion Week have kept Australian fashion commentators busy, the looks currently being critiqued in Britain are not on the red carpet or the catwalk but on the campaign trail.

The British media billed it as a showdown between Sarah Brown, wife of Prime Minister Gordon Brown, and Samantha Cameron, wife of Conservatives’ Leader David Cameron, but it became a three-horse race as the rise and rise of the Liberal Democrats meant their leader’s wife, Miriam González Durántez, suddenly found herself the subject of intense scrutiny. The three women all spoke to UK Grazia in this week’s issue which has hit news stands just before the poll.

As Gordon Brown faces renewed pressure after describing a Labour voter as a “bigoted woman” and one of his own candidates labelling him “the worst Prime Minister we have had in this country”, Sarah Brown has become increasingly important to her husband’s chances of reelection.

Continue reading "Problems for the first wives’ club in the UK election" »

Tony and Kevin are still fighting about it. John was never really interested in it. Paul only ever flirted with the idea. As for Bob, Malcolm, Gough, and all those who went before them, the concept never crossed their minds.

It is almost 110 years since Australia became a Federation, and in that time our failure to introduce paid maternity leave can best be explained by recalling the first names of those who have run the nation.

Australia had no founding mothers, only founding fathers. There was no Henrietta Parkes in 1901 and since then there has been no Paula Keating. Despite the growing representation of women in politics over the past 20 years, the combative character of our political system often owes more to the 19th century than the 21st.

Continue reading "Just end the blokey brawling over maternity leave" »

Yep, everyone should have access to childcare. It should be affordable, accessible, high-quality. But there’s a limit to what society should pay.

People are outraged that the Federal Government has decided not to build more than 200 childcare centres. Yeah, they broke an election promise. They did it because they need to claw back a whole lot of cash for a bunch of other stuff – health reform and such.

They say they also worked out that there are already too many childcare centres. According to their statistics, there are thousands upon thousands of spare places. If that’s right, then they shouldn’t spend precious taxpayer dollars on more places.

Continue reading "A broken promise everyone should welcome" »

Where are the women warriors on Paid Maternity Leave? The most extensive, economically significant policy proposal to support working women in decades is put forward by a major political party… so where are the feminists and women’s groups?

Why is there such a conspicuous silence from those who “whooped” and figuratively threw streamers when the Rudd Government finally announced its Paid Parental Leave plan (which turned out to be little more than a re-badging of the baby bonus with an administrative nightmare for small business thrown in)?

Where are Eva Cox and Sharan Burrows? 

Continue reading "I am woman, no comment." »

When Tony Abbott announced his paid parental leave policy on Monday, I – like many of those at the International Women’s Day celebration hosted by Manly Council – was taken by surprise. For the 15 minutes before he took my place on the podium, I had been speaking about the challenges Australia faces in creating a society that better values children, and in particular the need to better support the critical dual contribution of mothers in exercising their skills within the workplace and nurturing the next generation of Australians at home. 

Much has been written this week around the pros and cons of Tony’s policy, most of it scathing and very little of it constructive. What impressed me were his opening remarks that seem to have been lost amid the frenzied discussion his announcement generated in the media.

Having been associated with the infamous statement back in 2002 that compulsory paid maternity leave would be introduced ‘over this government’s dead body’, I was heartened to hear Tony’s admission that he had since learnt, from research and a variety of sources close to him, the critical importance of the early years and the attachment of mother and baby in laying the foundations for the social and economic future of the nation.

Continue reading "Maternity leave: why progress depends on values" »

Which political leader has just adopted a policy to champion the rights of working women underpinned by progressive taxation? Not the Social Democrat, Kevin Rudd, but the Conservative, Tony Abbott.

I have dumped on the term ’progressive’ in a previous Punch piece, but I suspect that’s how many would have described Tony Abbott’s maternity leave policy if it had been announced by Kevin Rudd.

You will like Tony Abbott’s policy if you accept the importance of parental engagement with a child in the first year of that child’s life. The policy with the longer period of paid maternity leave is a better policy.

Continue reading "Abbott the progressive?" »

Be afraid, be very afraid. The food Nazis are on the hunt through suburban school lunch boxes. Food is no longer a private matter in our educational institutions; parents are quaking in their shoes, terrified that they will be judged on the efficacy of their social responsibility and parenting skills by the contents of the humble pail. 

The fallout of which means becoming social pariahs based on white bread, or the inclusion of a Tim Tam.

Teachers peer beneath the lids of the not so humble receptacles (very seldom now a simple plastic box – they’re now themed, decorated, iced, chilled, heated, layered, compartmentalised and sheathed) and “tut tut”, or shake their heads at a child’s humble peanut butter sandwich or limp carrot.

Continue reading "Food allergy fascists make peanuts of us all" »

The arrival of a newborn child does strange things to people. It warps their perspective and clouds their judgement — and that’s to say nothing of sleep-deprived new parents. Instead, it’s a conclusion I’ve reached by reading commentators and readers of opinion websites.

Take, for example, Carrie Miller’s offering in yesterday’s edition of The Punch. While Miller had a point about overbearing middle-class parents, she sounded like a child who needs a spell on the naughty step by likening child-bearing to ‘a banal biological tradition driven by the baser instincts inherent in animals’. 

Miller isn’t alone in reducing childbearing to nothing more than ‘biological tradition’. Over at Fairfax’s competitor to The Punch, the National Times, recent articles about the behaviour of harried parents and their prams provoked comments from readers arguing that children are nothing than a lifestyle choice.

Continue reading "A message to the selfish: children are a public good" »

Some time in 2003, John Howard bowed to the bleeding obvious when he formally declared the Work/Family issue to be a barbecue stopper. In the end, though, Mr Howard chose to do nothing to help Australian barbecues run more smoothly.

Indeed, his WorkChoices adventure dramatically reduced the capacity of Australians to balance their lives with the demands of paid work. Leave entitlements were jeopardised, the power of employers to impose particular rostering arrangements was enhanced, and job security plummeted.

At about the same time, Tony Abbott showed similar disdain for working families when he promised that a paid maternity leave scheme would happen over their Government’s “dead body”.

Continue reading "A real agenda for work and family" »

On our summer holidays we had a baby.

And with the joy of Georgia’s arrival managing the night has reached a new level of complexity. For parents of young families this is one of the great challenges of life.

Night feeds, bad dreams, wet beds and sleep walking have been part and parcel of the night shift in our house for more than a decade now. Yet of the four children easily the busiest at night, at least for now, has been Harvey.

Continue reading "A night with Harvey" »

So that was January. And around Australia, families are coming to terms with the knowledge that the festive puppy they bought little Timmy is still resisting all forms of house training, and has grown a uniquely virulent form of mange.

Unsurprisingly then, we’re seeing a smattering of tales in suburban newspapers about the saddening, cruel and generally scumbaggy practice of pet dumping.

The Albert and Logan News reports a pet shop in that neck of Brisbane has been getting its fair share of unwanted waifs. Dumped creatures of the past four years have included doves, guinea pigs, chickens and even a 6ft coastal carpet python.

Continue reading "Suburban tales: pythons, horses heads and strippers" »

The recent call by Dr John Irvine to consider charging parents for crimes committed by children under the age of 10 highlights a fundamental social challenge. 

Juvenile crime and delinquency is a growing problem within our schools and the wider community – costing millions of dollars each year.  Recent Bureau of Crime and Statistics research indicates a 44% rise in juvenile offences since 2001.

Dr Irvine thinks that the ability to charge parents for the crimes their offspring commit “would help” and therefore it’s certainly worthy of debate and discussion. It’s hard to dispute his assertion that the Labor Government is too soft when it comes to dealing with the guardians of troubled children under 10.

Continue reading "How can we legislate against loveless and lawless parents?" »

WHILE the world has been stewing over greenhouse gases and the impact of climate change at Copenhagen, the steamy affairs of Tiger Woods have been fogging up computer screens as every day more details of his antics off the green are revealed.

Since being hurt in a mystery car crash just over two weeks ago, the golf superstar’s torrid string of girlfriends has provided a steady diet of sex and athletic prowess to tantalise readers more than any Mills and Boon novel.

What has been just as fascinating is how Tiger’s reported extra-curricular activities have polarised comments on online news sites. The saga appears to have triggered a gender divide among many readers.

Continue reading "Men and women on Tiger Woods" »

With struggling Aussie families paying consistently more for their food and groceries than other developed countries we need to take a long hard look at what’s causing the problem.

First, compare Australia to other OECD countries and there is one fact that jumps out. Australia has one of the most highly concentrated grocery sectors in the developed world.

Just two players – Coles and Woolworths – control 87% of supermarkets over 2000 square metres. They are increasing their share of fresh food, liquor, petrol and now hardware. Their tentacles spread to mobile phones, banking services and electronics. They own enough poker machines to put Las Vegas Casinos to shame.

Continue reading "We need action not excuses from the supermarket duopoly" »

Since recently becoming a mother, I seem to have developed an obsession with cake. And it has nothing to do with knowing I should really shun chocolate éclairs if I’m going to fit into a pre-baby size 10 again.

No, what I’ve been grappling with is my determination to have it all when it comes to balancing family and work. The desire to return to my stressful, you’d-have-to-be-mad-to-work-here job without relinquishing the joys and challenges of my newfound role as a parent.

So there it is in all its unfashionable, unrealistic glory: the desire to want the proverbial cake and eat it too.

Continue reading "Sniping at working mothers is no solution at all" »

Roll up, roll up. The Show is coming to town.

Last weekend it was the good citizens of Castlemaine who had the opportunity to witness the quality of the field in the bacon carcass competition. While next weekend Murwullimbah will have its chance to put on display the very finest in poultry that its region has to offer.

Late spring is the height of Show season and a couple of weeks ago I had the pleasure of attending the Royal Geelong Show. I was there both as a local politician and the parent of three eager kids capable of sniffing out show bags, prizes and sugary treats with the efficiency of feeding piranhas.

Continue reading "Roll up, roll up: our love affair with shows" »

Treasury secretary Ken Henry should spend less time hanging around with hairy-nosed wombats and more time talking to working families in suburban Sydney.

That’s not to bag wombats, especially hairy-nosed ones. Nor to question the right of anyone to take a holiday, and to do what they like with their leave.

As Dr Henry said last year amid criticism of his five-week wombat-rescuing odyssey into Queensland’s far-flung Epping Forest National Park, there are 10 times as many pandas in China as there are hairy-nosed wombats in Australia.

Continue reading "Ken’s muddle-headed car tax will hit Labor’s Sydney seats" »

The planned rollback of the controversial Shared Parenting Law is not an attack on men’s rights. Nor is it a victory for the women’s movement.

It is a sensible response to the plight of children like Darcey Freeman, who was allegedly thrown from the Westgate Bridge in Melbourne. Rather than getting into the he said/she said of this prickly debate, this is the story of one man – a war veteran - who believes his grandchildren are at risk.

His letter was part of a submission to Attorney-General Robert McClelland, which concludes “it is relatively rare for a court to make an order that denies a parent contact with a child, including in cases involving allegations of violence”.  You can read it here:

Continue reading "Harrowing letter explodes the family law debate" »

What the hell was that? As a parent with a child in school for the first time I have just withstood a round of what I suspect will become the regular school holiday juggle.

After taking one week’s leave the battle-plans were laid out: a day with said child in the office, play dates lined up, grandparents locked in – and then she gets sick meaning the fragile house of cards came tumbling down.

It’s a simple rule of math really, schoolkids have around 12 weeks of holidays each year while their parents average four - that’s a lot of time when households are juggling care.

Continue reading "Juggling family life - how leave doesn’t add up" »

You aren’t allowed to smack your partner, so why should you be allowed to smack your child?

It also makes no sense to me to declare war on thugs in the street and yet still allow parents to hit their kids.

This is particularly the case when it’s done with a blunt wooden object rather than just a hand.

Continue reading "Wooden spooning is assault, no back chat" »

It’s about time I came clean. Some 31 years ago I masterminded an elaborate swindle involving the starving kiddies of Africa and some of my closest family and friends where I fraudulently solicited $17 by falsely claiming to have completed the World Vision 40-Hour Famine.

In truth I only completed some four hours of the famine which, from memory, started just after breakfast on a Saturday morning, and immediately fell apart shortly afterwards at the Unley Oval, home ground of Adelaide’s Sturt Football Club.

I wrongly told Dad and Uncle Bruce that I had to go to the merchandise caravan to buy another badge for my duffle coat (with Phil 16 Heinrich stitched on the back in blue letters) but snuck off instead to the rear of what is now the Jack Oatey Stand where they used to make the greatest steak sandwiches in recorded human history.

Continue reading "A grand old flag: the emblem of the teams we love" »

I was going to take my six-year-old boy to the soccer on Friday night, but I decided not to. After what I witnessed at the Adelaide United - Melbourne Victory game at Hindmarsh Stadium, I doubt we’ll go to a game together this season. And that should be a huge concern for Adelaide United and the A-League.

In the end, I decided to go with a couple of mates, and keep one eye on the match and one eye on the hardcore fans that are a giving the sport I love such a bad name.

I took a seat in the southern grandstand, behind the Adelaide ``ultras’‘. I deliberately chose that spot so I could keep an eye on any trouble, but there were many young families around me who just had the misfortune to be sitting near the idiots.

The first thing that hits you is the swearing. While you still occasionally hear older supporters at footy games telling young hotheads to ``mind your language’‘, that’s not the case at the soccer.

Continue reading "The myth that soccer is a family-friendly sport" »

A few weeks ago I had one of my worst days as a new MP. A woman came to see me in my office in Caringbah in southern Sydney and told me the appalling story of how her child was being exposed to pornography by the child’s own father.

The child is less than five years old. I won’t go into the other details for risk of identifying the individuals involved, but rest assured it would make the most tolerant and liberal thinking of readers angry and sick.

What is worse is that as we looked to see what remedies were available to help this mum protect her child, we found there were none – and the police confirmed as much to her.

Continue reading "Protect kids from porn in the family home" »

“What about the children starving in Africa?”

I’d get that a lot when growing up if I didn’t finish the food on offer.  I suppose I am not alone in that memory.  But, like the food itself, it was a throwaway line.

For my generation, who have since become parents themselves, was it an effective call to act?  While over-ordering takeaway, because we are consumed by watching Masterchef - a show that taunts and rejects food - the same day that 25,000 children die from poverty-related causes - I think not.

Continue reading "The volunteer gene is facing extinction" »