Fame

One day, Eddie Murphy will launch into space in a dazzling emerald rocketship powered by ‘80s anecdotes and melted copies of The Adventures of Pluto Nash.

I'M A REAL PERSON, OKAY?

Jim Carrey will also be on board reading scripts for movies about animals finding love by doing people things and Sean William Scott rocks back and forth muttering: “I’m not Stifler, I’m a real person named Sean”.

And that ship will punch through the atmosphere and take them to a world beyond the reaches of time, where middle-aged stars grappling with relevancy issues are free to make sequels without feeling the scorn of the Internet drilling into their brains.

Latest 2 of 126 comments

View all comments
 
  • kath says:

    01:03pm | 13/04/12

    “The Maltese Falcon” that Humphrey Bogart was in was also I think the third film version of the story. Read more »

  • Carolyn says:

    11:16am | 13/04/12

    Absolutely! ‘A Night To Remember’ walks all over Titanic. In fact, when I first saw the Kate & Leo version, I thought that James Cameron had ripped off several scenes from ‘ANTR’. Watch that one, then James Cameron’s horror, and you’ll see what I mean. Read more »

 

If a meteor were spotted tomorrow hurtling towards the Earth, you could bet that some shirtless Mike Sorrentino clone would spend his final minutes lip-syncing Rihanna in an attempt to rake up hits before impact.

Actually Justin, famous starts with f, not v. Pic: AP

As astronauts snapped the glowing explosion with their mobiles, old people made out on the beach and random 17-year-olds concluded their wedding vows, he would grin triumphantly. “At least I’m famous,” he would say as the television turned to static and the chanting began.

At any given moment, millions of people are sprinting toward fame, with no clue as to what they’ll do if and when they finally grasp it. Encouraged by the handful of well-publicised success stories, they cheerfully upload their auto-tuned vocals, tear-streaked rants and subway dance routines.

Latest 2 of 57 comments

View all comments
 
  • PrimeLives says:

    03:12pm | 21/10/11

    Right on! Kim Karnobody wouldn’t be ‘famous’ if everyone just turned away. Girl started at my office and her facebook likes included Kim, I instantly wriote her off as having no substance and being the personification of what is wrong with the world. (PS my likes on FB include Barack… Read more »

  • N says:

    10:53am | 21/10/11

    Dear Josh B This is an opinion site, not a news site, therefore the commentators, be they journalists or otherwise, extoll their opinions. I think you’ll find they are doing so not to increase their fame, notoriety or popularity, but because it is required of them as contributors to the… Read more »

 

The other morning I was thinking about life - because, well, that’s what people do when they’re on the toilet.

As I used my housemate’s slightly dryer towel to wipe my hands, I realised I’d been doing it wrong - life, that is, not hand-drying, which I’ve actually developed quite a knack for.

All this time, I’ve been focused on “the journey”, when the end product is clearly the most important bit. The end product being, of course, a sweet, badass biography. What’s the point of being content if there isn’t a seven-figure book deal at the end of it all?

Latest 2 of 6 comments

View all comments
 
  • bikinis on top says:

    08:44pm | 02/06/11

    The toilet exposes the crystal balls for Jason Tan and others. The bedroom exposes the crystal balls for females and others. Just look into the crystal balls to see the future like Nostradamus. Read more »

  • stephen says:

    06:20pm | 02/06/11

    Busy people are boring. It’s only the idle who have stories. Read more »

 

When I was 12, I wanted to be an air hostess when I grew up. My best friend wanted to be a traffic warden. She even drew a picture of herself in a beige uniform handing out a parking ticket.

Vintage Hurley, not living like the common people. Photo: AP.

Neither of us achieved our dreams, what with me becoming a journalist and her having to make do with working for one of the world’s biggest film companies.

So she, in particular, was astounded that today’s children no longer have such civic aspirations as we did. Instead, they just want to be famous.

Latest 2 of 6 comments

View all comments
 
  • jg says:

    09:24pm | 01/05/11

    compared to the ALP, ‘We have no f%%king idea.’ Read more »

  • Not telling says:

    08:21pm | 01/05/11

    It’s true - I was never famous or even nearly famous but from my late teens to the end of my twenties I was pretty well recognized in my sport of choice and it totally sucked.  I’d read garbage about myself in magazines, people would think I’m a snob if… Read more »

 

If Dickens was alive he’d concede talent counts for little and intelligence for less in one’s bid to become famous in modern society.

Thanks to the internet and TV today we’re breeding a generation of talentless twits who view fame as a right, not a privilege.

In the Dickensian era, society had great expectations of those who aspired to walk among the elite.

Latest 2 of 210 comments

View all comments
 
  • Hank says:

    08:52am | 02/12/10

    The world needs another hairdresser about as much as it needs another journalist mate.  So just shut up, get on with it and write something positive for once you tool.  You are no better then anybody else. Read more »

  • Jessica says:

    07:18am | 02/12/10

    I’m one of those ‘good kids’ that did well in Year 12 and am now completing my undergraduate degree. But I’m not going to pat myself on the back for it or pretend that I’m better than anyone else. You’re ‘wasted opportunities’ are other people’s opportunities. And just because YOU… Read more »

 

Is anyone really that shocked at a rugby league player having a big night on the turps?

Johnathan Thurston leaving the watch house in Brisbane this morning. Pic: AAP

The arrest in Brisbane this morning of Cowboys captain Johnathan Thurston is, as Darren Lockyer said of his mate, a real pity for him and he’ll be cursing himself for (allegedly) pushing the boundaries with the cops.

But it’s neither corrupt like a salary cap rort nor a flagrant moral infraction like taking performance-enhancers. It’s a low-level bit of stupidity and right-minded people will assess it with a shrug.

Latest 2 of 57 comments

View all comments
 
  • Johnathon says:

    09:27am | 19/09/10

    @Barry   Riiiiggght…...., “people have been locked up for simply walking home”. There wouldn’t be any more to that story at all would there? That’s it, like you said; COPS have a bad day and just lock people up…. !All the time! And you can’t do anything about it because… Read more »

  • Drunk Guy says:

    06:43pm | 17/09/10

    Well for many people it is completely normal behaviour, and stories on national TV current affairs shows back that up, and if the police are so thin skinned that they need to arrest people for laughing at their over officiousness, then we all should be arrested, in fact I laugh… Read more »

 

Facebook Recommendations

Read all about it

Punch live

Up to the minute Twitter chatter

Anthony Sharwood

Dementor doing a good job for sweden #sbseurovision

Anthony Sharwood

Ukraine song pinches chord progression from The Verve's Bittersweet Symphony. Fo real #sbseurovision

Anthony Sharwood

RT @GerardDaffy: @antsharwood all the talk over there is the grannies will win.they entered to get a church built,feelgood story

Anthony Sharwood

These peole insult my grandmothjer, who was born in minsk, belarus #sbseurovision

Recent posts

The latest and greatest

We don’t deserve this huge, exciting scientific project

We don’t deserve this huge, exciting scientific project

I’d like to be able to say that sharing the world’s largest radio telescope with South Africa…

Mining money talks the loudest in Australian politics

Mining money talks the loudest in Australian politics

When North Queensland Liberal MP George Christensen got the idea of launching a new political organisation…

Please enter your password

Please enter your password

Help! I’ve succumbed to a crippling modern illness that can strike at any moment. Symptoms include:…

Nosebleed Section

choice ringside rantings

From: They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments

Michael S says:

"A teacher at Geelong Grammar had criticised her for using words that were too long, which had left her confused and had made her doubt her ability to write essays. She became ''quite distressed'' when her English marks began to fall." I can sympathise. My scholastic mentors conveyed to me a causal relationship… [read more]

From: Welfare for breeders is a bonus for everyone

Change Up! says:

I have no problem paying my taxes. As a single, childless person on a very decent income, I can afford it and not have my life severely altered. Plus I understand that my taxes paying for things like schools, childcare and infrastructure is ultimately a good thing. A better community is better for me… [read more]

Gentle jabs to the ribs

They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments

They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments

A private school girl’s family is sueing her elite, extremely expensive private school for not… Read more

243 comments

Newsletter

Read all about it

Sign up to the free daily Punch newsletter