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An exorcise in making the supernatural sexy

03 Apr 05:45am

Filed under: Catholic Church, Christianity, Exorcisms, Psychics, Religion, Satan, Spirituality

Is your church plagued by plummeting attendance levels? Is your exorcism business in the red? Are the tea leaves telling you to tighten your belt? Well turn that frown upside down, because this could be the answer to all your prayers. The commercial world has known the secret forever, but the churches and other peddlers of the spirit world are only just catching on.

Sex sells. And the successful spiritual movements of the future will be those who learn to press people’s slightly less metaphysical buttons.

When the 2011 Census figures come out you can bet your tithe they’ll show a continuing trend of mainstream Christian churches losing followers while the Pentecostal churches pick them up. People want more Guy Sebastian, less The Lord Is My Shepherd. More rock, less clothes. More laying on of hands than laying on of hands.

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Abdul says:

02:34pm | 31/05/12

What I think is ridiculous is that becuase of the unequal distribution of teams in MLB, day 1 the brewers and other members of the NL central have a mere 24.3% chance of making the playoffs. Any other team in MLB has at least a statistical 3% advantage over NL… Read more »
Harriet says:

06:58am | 07/04/12

The demon test costs $9.99! I’ll keep my demon thank youuu. Read more »

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