Douche Bags

I was walking down the street yesterday, minding my own business when a young gentleman passed me wearing a Bintang singlet and a Power Balance bracelet. After I had controlled the urge to run after him and demand that he impregnate me IMMEDIATELY, I got to thinking about those all important visual cues that can help you avoid making contact with a douche bag.

We couldn't show you a douche bag for defamatory reasons, but here are their shoes

Sure it’s shallow and we’re taught as young children that we should never judge a book by it’s cover, but here’s the reality. I do judge a book by its cover. All the time.

I do the same with wine. As a result I’m rarely reading Shakespeare or drinking anything that remotely resembles Grange, but when it comes to douche bags I do think there are a few reliable indicators that can help you avoid a potentially underwhelming encounter with an idiot.

Latest 2 of 476 comments

View all comments
 
  • CommonSense says:

    02:21pm | 07/05/12

    ‘Rachel Corbett tels it like it is’ Well, I would say: ‘Rachel Corbett tels it like she thinks it is’ Which is not nessessary how it is in reality. Just to add that ‘reality’ is different to any individual. Sometimes you can have other people thinking or believing the same… Read more »

  • Mark says:

    10:12pm | 29/04/12

    Here’s my contribution .... (1) Rich kids who think their business success is the result of their intellectual prowess rather than nepotism or family money. (2) Uppity public servants who think they understand budgets because they have access to government funds. (3) Blokes who come to work and talk about… Read more »

 

Facebook Recommendations

Read all about it

Punch live

Up to the minute Twitter chatter

David Penberthy

@GreenJ lady boy.

David Penberthy

@GreenJ how dare you even suggest such a thing. I'd love to blog from their traning session though about what a pack of toffs they are

Anthony Sharwood

RT @kellieconnolly: @penbo @antsharwood Not judging Hackett but to set the record straight again I had been asking 9 for a redundancy and left on good terms

David Penberthy

Feisty piece by @antsharwood leading http://t.co/5WsLF5Pf on how ch 9 can punt spiteri connolly rowe but not the delightful grant hackett

Recent posts

The latest and greatest

Is there a nicotine patch strong enough for this?

Is there a nicotine patch strong enough for this?

Ok. I am not a leading expert in world’s best practice on prisoner rehabilitation — my experience…

A great win by Webber, but it sure as hell wasn’t sport

A great win by Webber, but it sure as hell wasn’t sport

This morning I joined millions of other Australians in accelerating, braking, swearing and spilling coffee…

Fighting Assad one strongly worded statement at a time

Fighting Assad one strongly worded statement at a time

This weekend’s massacre in Houla, Syria, is one of those stories that invites but doesn’t…

Nosebleed Section

choice ringside rantings

From: They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments

Michael S says:

"A teacher at Geelong Grammar had criticised her for using words that were too long, which had left her confused and had made her doubt her ability to write essays. She became ''quite distressed'' when her English marks began to fall." I can sympathise. My scholastic mentors conveyed to me a causal relationship… [read more]

From: Welfare for breeders is a bonus for everyone

Change Up! says:

I have no problem paying my taxes. As a single, childless person on a very decent income, I can afford it and not have my life severely altered. Plus I understand that my taxes paying for things like schools, childcare and infrastructure is ultimately a good thing. A better community is better for me… [read more]

Gentle jabs to the ribs

They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments

They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments

A private school girl’s family is sueing her elite, extremely expensive private school for not… Read more

243 comments

Newsletter

Read all about it

Sign up to the free daily Punch newsletter