Diets

It’s not January unless everyone you know is on some kind of health kick, and the crazier the better - or so it seems. People are on cavemen diets and lemon detoxes, and extreme diets like the fruitarian diet, which is not actually that good for your health…

Seriously, if I even see one more apple I am going to lose it. Photo: news.com.au

Just ask Ashton Kutcher who revealed he was hospitalised after turning fruitarian for his latest role playing Steve Jobs for the upcoming biopic. Kutcher said he fell seriously ill after a stint mimicking Jobs’ strict dietary regime of fruit, nuts and seeds.

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  • Gordon says:

    05:59pm | 29/01/13

    Me too. The trick is to not want the f’n giant cokes and other shite that people try to sell you. Read more »

  • Terribla says:

    04:05pm | 29/01/13

    I wouldn’t diet but I would detox . . . with sand! Read more »

 

As the old year ended, I was confronted by an article written by Samantha Maiden in the News Ltd Sunday papers about politicians losing weight. 

Sorry about the hold up, kid. Pic: Digitally altered

Sam had initially selected me as a successful example of size reduction. Come the last Sunday of the year, I was feeling appropriately affirmed by the anticipated lauding of my dietary achievements.

As dawn broke I leapt out of bed, into the car, and off to the local shop to pick up the Sunday Herald Sun. But as I opened the paper my bubble burst. Compared to Bob Baldwin’s shedding of 70 kilos, my paltry 4 kilos represented little more than a foregone Sunday roast. Indeed in the article itself, my role was simply to play foil to Jamie Briggs’ effort of losing 17 kilos, inspired by people continually telling him that he looked as fat as me.

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  • ol matey says:

    03:14pm | 24/01/13

    So… You had no foresight that you were completely incapable of achieving a smooth ride, you immediately blocked the progress of the people, you sat there and did next to nothing other than flail about like an idiot, everyone looked on, knowing there was nothing they could do to help… Read more »

  • KimL says:

    02:51pm | 24/01/13

    I think anyone in the Public eye should be reasonable trim to set an example to others particularly children. Gaining weight is so easy, I know I gained a kilo over Christmas, getting the kilo off will take a bit longer than the Christmas break, and you doing it naturally,… Read more »

 

WhenI started this column, I vowed I wouldn’t write about my weight. Or diets. I figured if you’re female, you have enough going on in your own head. If you’re male, well, you don’t need it confirmed that we’re all bonkers.

Seriously, this woman does not know what she's missing. Or maybe she does…

But I’m not one for self-imposed rules. And with so many young women seeing body image as the greatest concern of their lives, I don’t think ignoring it is going to help. So, let’s talk about weight. We’ll start with mine.

For the past few years, I’ve had no idea what I weigh. I’m a words, not a numbers girl, so rather than curse the scales, I’ll realise my thighs feel a bit flabby, or – as has been the case this autumn – my jeans are a bit tight.

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We like to think of ourselves as a nation of animal lovers.

Fast Food Nation movie poster. Burgers kill cows if you didn't know.

We bay for blood when a woman throws a cat in a bin in the UK, or a team of huskies is massacred in Canada, and are brought to tears when a Queensland hero risks his life in the floods to save a kangaroo from drowning.

Yet every single day there are stories in the shadows we miss.

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  • Janette says:

    12:37pm | 16/06/11

    Here’s a thought to help cattle farmers still make a living if they ban live export, for people who like to eat meat, to buy their own cow or lamb and slaughter it when the need arises that way it will keep a lot of individuals happy. But I wonder… Read more »

  • Claudia says:

    02:48pm | 22/02/11

    This is awesome Read more »

 

Cookie diets, lemon detox diets, juice fasts, vegan weeks, the master cleanse.

Some people get so obsessed about this kind of food, they name their kids after it. Right, Gwyneth? Pic: AP

Magazines are full of them, friends bang on about them, and every celebrity worth their size zero britches will happily rave about their benefits.

Is there anything more frustrating, galling, idiotic, and yet somehow tempting than a detox?

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Recently I was out for dinner with friends and the bread basket duly arrived. It was a cracker: lovely thick slices of sourdough – some studded with olives, others with caramelised garlic. Next to it was a generous slab of butter and a bowl of gorgeous, grassy olive oil.

Got milk, I mean, bread? Picture: AFP

But here’s the thing – no one touched it. Even the men. Like me, my companions were all famished, but that innocuous wicker basket may as well have been a nuclear reactor, such was the contempt and suspicion that greeted it.

When did bread get such a bad rap?

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  • notSue says:

    10:15pm | 10/01/11

    Coeliac disease (a malabsorption syndrome affecting the gut lining, cause by an allergy to gluten) and gluten intolerance (bloating and pain caused by gluten) are quite prevalent in society these days, it’s true. However, the cause of the rising statistics has, as far as I’m aware, not been pinpointed. From… Read more »

  • Kirk says:

    02:41pm | 10/01/11

    What utter rubbish. The “human body was not built to digest grains”?? Three things: (a) Every heard of fibre? The indigestible parts of plants are vital to human health - cleaning out the gut, preventing bowel cancer and “have been shown to benefit diabetes, blood cholesterol levels and weight control”.… Read more »

 

How many column inches in women’s magazines are devoted to dieting every year? Enough to cross the Nullarbor? Circumnavigate the globe? Traverse the universe?

“Get your body beach ready. Now!” “Your best body. Fast.” “Your best-ever body in four weeks.” “Shrink one size in four weeks.” And my personal favourite: “Drop a dress size by Saturday!” Really?

I should issue a little disclaimer and own up to writing many vacuous and silly diet coverlines during my 15-plus years working in women’s magazines. Seven kilos in seven days? Only joking. But you get the drift.

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  • John says:

    01:02am | 21/10/09

    Just getting off the track slightly…when you talk about women’s magazines, the first that pops into my head is make up, cosmetics, anti-wrinkle/aging creams. I do a lot of international travelling, and everytime i pick up the duty free magazine on board, half the magazine is full of womens cosmetics!… Read more »

  • Budz says:

    03:42pm | 20/10/09

    @TRJN: Yes the girls are on the treadmills and guys are on the weights. So what is a way to increase your testosterone and metabolism? By increasing your muscle mass! So girls, get on the weights too and before you know it your metabolism will improve and you will be… Read more »

 

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