Cosmetics

You might not know this, but on the wall of every single cosmetic company in the whole entire world, there is a sign that reads: when all else fails, scare the living crap out of them.

Exhibit A: The latest, “ahem” research from tanning company St Tropez that claims women look their oldest at 3:30pm on Wednesdays.

Yes, please note use of the word “oldest”. Because we’re not just talking a little bit rough around the edges here, ladies - we are talking REALLY, REALLY OLD. As in, you-could-be-mistaken-for-your-own-grandmother, kind of old.

Continue reading "Geez, you look tired. Must be Wednesday, 3:30pm" »

Considering the comments posted on previous articles on The Punch, it’s safe to say that the issue of animal experimentation for medical research is a controversial topic, often generating strong views from largely polarised positions.

When it comes to the specific testing of cosmetics on animals however, clearly the jury is in. The vast majority of us consider it cruel and unnecessary to subject animals to painful tests merely for the sake of our own vanity.

In fact, in late 2008 Humane Research Australia commissioned a public opinion poll to gauge the public’s understanding and view of animal experimentation. As expected, 87 per cent of respondents were opposed to the use of animals in testing cosmetics.

Continue reading "Don’t give the gift of cruelty this Christmas" »

You’re in a café looking at a woman with a thick mane of lustrous, golden hair atop a trim torso. 

In fact, from the back she looks a lot like Barbie.  Then she turns to reveal a face that looks a lot like Barbie too – but at 70, or perhaps when she’s been left in the bottom of the paddling pool for a month, dried in the microwave and then cleaned with steelo. 

You have now experienced lock shock.

Continue reading "Clinging to youth by a single strand of hair" »

If one’s face can’t register an orgasm, is the climax still as good?

Startling as it may seem, I feel liberated by the decay of beauty.  It’s a bold statement, but in this era, when the glorification of all that is youthful is paramount, I hope that I look like the mother of my eldest daughter, (who for the record is almost 24,) and not at all like her sister. I don’t want to be in competition with her, or my younger girl, who is only eight. I want them to take up the mantle of their own prime years and have me cheering them on from the proper place - as the more senior female of the clan.

Our society so abhors the discussion of ageing and death, that we have embraced a whole new industry of psychological touchstones involving chemicals and knives and a race to look 10 years younger in 10 days. I don’t castigate or object to anyone making personal choices regarding cosmetic procedures, nor do I rule them out for myself if I feel I want them. But I am concerned that so many of my friends, acquaintances and even other people in the media are beginning to relinquish their unique expressions of emotion and life experience at the point of a needle.

Continue reading "Cosmetic work can make you mistake chit-chat for orgasm" »