Cosmetic Surgery

Here’s some troubling news -labiaplasties claimed on Medicare have more than doubled in the last 10 years with the biggest increase coming from women aged 18 to 24. And that’s just the public stats.

There’s a lot more labiaplasty happening privately at $3000 grand a pop. According to the Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists it’s the West’s equivalent of Female Genital Mutilation.

You know, what those savages from other countries do, where they slice off the clitoris, or sew up the labia to make the vagina narrower. It’s good to know we’re not like that here, hey!

Continue reading "Don’t let cosmetic surgeons slice up your privates" »

In the interests of research, I once squeezed a woman’s breasts. Yep, a full-on fondle – with both hands – up under her pink bra. Well, that got your attention, didn’t it? Hi, fellas!

I’d been sent to a lap-dancing club by an editor keen to stroke, sorry, stoke the usual media outrage that occurs whenever a sexual establishment sets up in suburbia.

But far more interesting than the girls getting their kit off for a bunch of bankers (honestly, they were happily coining it) was their bodies. Or, more specifically, their breasts. Because, while I’d been cruising through the ’90s thinking shoulder pads were the most offensive blight on my generation, a score of women had been secretly upholstering their boobs so they were as plumped and shiny as the vinyl seats on a Ford Escort.

Continue reading "Busting the myth that breast implants make you beautiful" »

In the 1940s Japanese prostitutes injected themselves with non-medical grade silicone or paraffin, or inserted sponges into their chests because they thought larger breasts would attract the American servicemen.

It’s not clear whether the results of the DIY cosmetic surgery were alluring, but it is clear that it was dangerous, and occasionally fatal.

It’s also clear that increasing numbers of women – and men – are prepared to take on the risks of invasive surgery to look better. The Australasian College of Cosmetic Surgery estimates it’s now a billion-dollar-a-year industry, and that’s not counting people seeking cheap new boobs, teeth, or tummies in Asia.

Continue reading "Who you gonna call when cosmetic surgery goes wrong?" »

A breast augmentation is a woman’s right. It’s her choice. It’s her body. It’s empowering. But a penis enlargement is a mental health issue.

(Life in plastic, it’s fantastic)
When it comes to penis enlargement, Australian surgeons seem to agree, the problem is not physical, but mental. When Triple J’s current affairs program, Hack, spoke to surgeons about penis enlargement recently, the view was unanimous. As one surgeon said: “I think often it’s a manifestation of some other form of emotional or perceptual problem rather than a physical one, and therefore I don’t believe that I should be doing that operation.”

According to the program, only one surgeon performs penis enlargements in Sydney, and even he says the problem is in the man’s head.

Continue reading "Boob jobs: When plastic is really not so fantastic" »

Ten years ago I had the good fortune of sitting next to Paul “The Chief” Harragon, hardman for the Newcastle Knights rugby league team

We shared a generally enjoyable conversation until discussions turned to a player who had become the media focus for – what else – excessive drinking.

Harragon was genuinely staggered that the drinking exploits of a league star would make tabloid fodder.

“If a plumber goes out and has a few to many,” he said, “no-one thinks of writing that up in a newspaper.”

Continue reading "Binge-drinking, boob-jobs and the black art of spin" »