Cooking

MasterChef is about to reclaim its crown as the best reality show on television. Controversial call, I realise. And possibly more hope than prediction on my part.

Some will argue that 3.2 million fans of The Voice can’t be wrong, and admittedly, those blind auditions were sensational. But after Monday night’s battle round episode, where the judges backed the sexy, but much less talented Prinnie Stevens over the larger Mahalia Barnes – who they pretty much admitted was the better singer - the show has lost its unique selling point.

It’s clearly not just about rewarding the best vocal performance any more, which means it’s in danger of becoming a glorified Australian Idol, with stranger rules and a faster eviction rate.

Continue reading "MasterChef will eat The Voice for breakfast" »

Society is seized by an obsession with cuisine. The Masterchef empire and the cult of the celebrity chef are facets of this fixation. All over the nation citizens rush to microwave their dinner in time to watch their favourite buff chef or pre-teen whip up something magic.

This increased interest in food, and particularly food preparation, could produce concrete improvements in the way we cook and thereby enhance our everyday quality of life.

Yet so much of what we are offered as culinary inspiration seems more liable to produce culinary intimidation, by virtue of its sheer complexity. And culinary intimidation is completely unnecessary since the secret of successful food preparation is to do as little as possible to it.

Continue reading "The best chefs cook naked" »

Everyone should have a favourite cookbook. Mine are almost entirely from the 1980s (not forgetting the Women’s Weekly birthday cake book), and obviously a reminder of my parents’ flair for entertaining when I was growing up.

Epicurean, Vogue Entertaining and the Women’s Weekly dinner party series inspired many nights of cheese soufflé, poached chicken with white sauce and hand-rolled chocolate truffles. All washed down with endless glasses of chardonnay in the 1980s.

But cookbooks from the 1970s have an appeal all of their own.

Continue reading "Lost but not forgotten: top ten retro food fads" »

Recently I was out for dinner with friends and the bread basket duly arrived. It was a cracker: lovely thick slices of sourdough – some studded with olives, others with caramelised garlic. Next to it was a generous slab of butter and a bowl of gorgeous, grassy olive oil.

But here’s the thing – no one touched it. Even the men. Like me, my companions were all famished, but that innocuous wicker basket may as well have been a nuclear reactor, such was the contempt and suspicion that greeted it.

When did bread get such a bad rap?

Continue reading "The rise and fall of bread" »

Nigella Lawson, the sultry British chef was born today in 1960.

And it’s Thursday at The Punch. What’s on your mind? Share it here.

The other day I was at a pub, which is not unusual in itself. The pub also had a $10 steak menu, which is also not uncommon. Incredibly, I decided to have a steak.

The woman behind the counter dutifully took the order and then asked what sauce I would like with it.

“I’ll just have gravy,” I said.

Continue reading "Why doesn’t anyone just eat normal food any more?" »

I’m sure $15,000 seems like a lot of money when you’re nine, especially if you break it down into mixed lollies.

But heck, even cobbers are 10 cents now. One dollar’s worth of mixed lollies gets you a few strawberries and cream, a banana, a set of teeth, two snakes and some leftover white jelly beans.

My point is while raising $15k requires a lot of hard work for most of us, the prize money on offer for the winner of Junior Masterchef is laughable in TV terms.

Continue reading "Bringing in grown-up ratings but being paid like children" »

So people are forking out up to $50,000 so that the likes of Matt Moran, Neil Perry and Peter Gilmore can come over to their house and knock up dinner.

I’d like to see them try it at my place. If Peter Gilmore can find a way of turning a six-pack of Boags Draught, a couple of bananas, some bacon rashers and a jar of jalapenos into a snow egg, he’s welcome to the entire contents of my bank account.

Presumably the deal is that the chefs bring their own food with them, and all your fancy friends get to ooh and ahh as it is assembled. It’s all the go now among Sydney’s charity set, where the richest people in town bid obscene amounts of cash for what the marketing department likes to call “money-can’t-buy” opportunities.

Continue reading "Power parenting turning our food experience sour" »

The National Health and Medical Research Council might know a fair bit about health, but they don’t know anything about cooking.

The NHMRC last week released the innocuous sounding Assessing Cost-Effectiveness in Prevention report. The document is the result of five years of research by people who take carrots, nuts and celery into work in plastic lunch boxes, and think the rest of us should do the same.

The report has at its centre some fairly predictable calls for smokers to be taxed out of existence with an immediate 5 per cent increase in tobacco taxes (on top of the 25 per cent increase in April this year), a 10 per cent increase in the tax on spirits, and an increase in the legal drinking age from 18 to 21.

Continue reading "In defence of salt" »

If you’re sick of swallowing all the political chatter from Jules and Tony take a break and chew on something meaningful out of America. And it’s not President Obama’s eloquent speech at the White House Ramadan dinner, where he defended plans for a mosque at Ground Zero. Rather, meet Paula Deen, the self-described ‘Queen of Southern Cooking’.

A woman that makes burgers using donuts as buns, lasagna sandwiches and single handedly butchers food to the point that she induces dry retching. The video above involving frozen cheesecake and a large pot of boiling oil should give you a sufficient introduction to Deen’s world.

As she says: “Just when you thought you couldn’t make cheesecake any better!”

Continue reading "US celebrity chef captures hearts, may also stop them" »

Watching people slice bread is officially the best thing since sliced bread.

According to the Daily Telegraph this week, MasterChef is “the most powerful television show in Australia”. With $100 million worth of industry around it and almost two million viewers, it has even out bigged Big Brother.

But as we mark the show’s halfway point with an oyster terrine and a joyful high-five, there’s no escaping the sad fact that our MasterChef pales in comparison to the UK version. And not just because Australian contestants are hell bent on crying their way to the title.

Continue reading "Our MasterChef does a poor imitation of the British" »

All those arguing over which version of history should be contained in the national curriculum might want to think about a subject that could mean our current generation lives long enough to achieve some level of appreciation of that history.

Food is on our minds this week, with the return of MasterChef, which last year many commentators hailed as the saviour of real food in our homes. It’s not you know.

On Friday we were told obesity has overtaken smoking as the leading cause of premature death and illness in Australia. Someone who’s never been taught to boil an egg is hardly about to rush out and snap up the ingredients for a batch of Poh’s dumplings.

Continue reading "Bring back compulsory cooking classes at school" »

With My Kitchen Rules coming to an end, news of the return of MasterChef couldn’t have been timelier.

For quality cooking shows, within a few short months, we’ll have gone from a smorgasbord to a piddling entrée. Let’s face it – five minutes of Fast Ed each week is not gonna cut it. 

And if, like me, you’re a regular viewer of Man vs Wild, starring wilderness survival expert, Edward ‘Bear’ Grylls, you’ll have an extra reason to celebrate: you can toast the return of your appetite.

Continue reading "Man vs MasterChef" »

Much discussion has been had recently – mostly media engineered discussion to coincide with Australia Day and the launch of News Ltd’s new nationally syndicated Taste section – on the subject of Australia’s national dish.

In years past dinner meant a slab of charcoaled fatty steak and three kinds of over-microwaved veg. Food was once the subject of much inattention and is now our newest obsessive interest. However, no one is sure exactly what Australia’s national dish is – or if we even have one – and there has been an awful lot of to-ing and fro-ing about it.

Traditionally lacking in a food culture to call our own that doesn’t involve a well-done steak (and with the majority of the Australian population having little knowledge of indigenous eating habits beyond the witchetty grub) generations of immigrants to our shores have introduced stir-fries, pastas, curries and many more culinary masterpieces that make up the wonderful multicultural cuisines eaten across Australia.

Continue reading "Our national dish: a big pile of meat" »

The signature dish at the Prairie Hotel , in South Australia’s Flinders Ranges, is its Road Kill Grill ($30), a mix of kangaroo and emu fillet on mash, with a camel sausage tossed in for good measure.

I can recommend the kangaroo tail soup too.

Reflecting on what it means to be Australian inevitably leads to a debate about our national dish. The Daily Telegraph asked the question on Australia Day, with Masterchef’s Poh Ling Yeow telling the Tele salt-and-pepper squid has taken over from fish and chips as our top tucker. It follows on from a major survey in The Sunday Telegraph where people said Australia’s national dish is the meat pie (37 per cent), followed by roast lamb (28 per cent), lamingtons (12 per cent) and pavlova (11 per cent).

Continue reading "For a truly Australian dish, first insert tinnie in bum" »

MANLINESS or the right to be the opposite has been THE hot topic up here in Central Queensland lately, so here’s something that might get things smoking.

A mate sent me an ad from Ebay for what could be the ideal gift for the true blue Aussie bloke who has everything. It’s billed as “A real man’s barbecue – not for metrosexuals or latte drinkers.

“Features: Manliness, awsomeness …. free sausage fat, free spiders, seasoned pollen plate…

Continue reading "A real man’s bloody awesome non-latte sipping barbecue" »

It was one of the more disgusting experiences of my life and one which could only have been approached with the support of strong liquor to dull the palate and senses.

About 10 years ago while working as a journalist in Indonesia I spent a largely blissful week in the city of Manado, the capital of the strange, starfish-shaped island of Sulawesi.

Manado is about the closest thing to paradise on earth. It’s surrounded by pristine ocean, a haven for snorkelers and divers, populated by beautiful fish of every hue, and the air is scented with vanilla and clove from the trees that grow everywhere in this part of the spice islands. Manado, however, is let down badly by its restaurants.

Continue reading "Weird stuff I’ve eaten" »

The gourmet burger is now mainstream.

Even Hungry Jacks has its own salt and fat packed version dragging down the reputation of Angus beef.

It’s the latest trend in food, knowing the provenance of your ingredients - with Maccas being the first mainstream brand to name Angus beef as a selling point back in August.

Continue reading "Building the ultimate burger" »

To avoid some traps for young players I feel compelled to offer some advice observed from way too many hours in the rough and tumble of professional kitchens. Call it Chefs, and how to spot them in their natural habitat.

Points are given (out of ten) for each species that you may have inhabiting your kitchen, a low score is excellent, a high score should have the alarm bells ringing.

The Pedigreed Slouch, also known as the Know–all, or Mr Europe: First thing that you notice is its casual air of superiority. Its CV is long and littered with all the right names. Once working it makes repeated and ill-timed references to previous methods in other, better kitchens. Like some sort of defense mechanism, the Slouch will, when under the pump, start a frenzied monologue of how things were done at Le Manoir Quat Saisons whilst getting deeper and deeper in the shit. Usually this ends with the Slouch being rescued by an apprentice and then promptly walking out shamefaced.
Score 8

Continue reading "A field companion to various species of chef" »

Only the other night gazing out at the opera house from Quay restaurant in Sydney I had the good fortune to sit at dinner with the new, improved, much, much larger than life Matt Preston. Not only was I subject to his advice on all things Myf Warhurst, his pony skin R.M. Williams boots and dressing-up box chic but his stagey sexy looks.

The look that stuck in my mind is when his sultry eyes gaze towards what should be a camera and while he sucked A-list chocolate off his index finger. What I can only imagine is a lot of practice in the mirror had paid off. Although I can’t say the earth moved for me, Matt later may have retired for a cigarette.

And it made me realise how we got to this point that food isn’t food on TV without some sort of sexual imagery. Two decades (and more) ago food writing and TV was left to the stuffy, recipe writers and cookbook authors, dry enough to pucker the mouth up like a plain Carrs Water biscuit.

Continue reading "Finger-licking good: a brief history of food sex" »

My parents never taught me how to cook, they just taught me how not to.

My 50-something father still burns fish fingers, and has done since I was three. Probably earlier.

My mother micro-waved all of the nutrients out of anything I ever ate.

Continue reading "The way to good cooking may be learning what not to do" »

Julie and Poh know what to do with century eggs, tempered chocolate and rabbit hindquarters, but even they might struggle with these ingredients: 1 x 425g tin of crushed pineapple, 1 cup of coconut and 1 x 250g container of sour cream.

Do you know what it makes?  Here’s a hint: ‘Mix together and leave for a couple of hours.  Serve on lettuce leaves.’

If you answered ‘Pineapple Salad’, then perhaps your childhood, like mine, included neighbourhood pool parties at which the adults downed shandies and Coolabah cask wine while nibbling on devils-on-horseback (prunes wrapped in bacon). 

Continue reading "Well read-head: Julie and Poh inspire a cookbook trip" »

Last night was a let down.

The cupboards were bare, the kitchen bereft of yummy smells and for the first time in two months no-one really cared who had the remote at 7pm.

Sunday night’s MasterChef finale celebrations were a distant memory, and all we were left with was an empty feeling.

Continue reading "How to cope with post-MasterChef depression" »

There’s a simple reason why some three million Australians watched the Masterchef final last night - instead of making heroes out of people you would do anything to avoid, it celebrated people you’d be happy to have as friends, or proud to have as part of your family.

On paper it was merely the latest phase in the reality television format, another game-based cooking program, similar in theory to so many others which now infect the Lifestyle Food channel, not even an original idea but the re-heated antipodean version of the British program of the same name.

As such, many Australians were slow to respond to the program, assuming it was formulaic fluff, cooked up by the marketing people in a cynical bid for ratings and targeted advertising.

Continue reading "Australia’s best TV show of all time?" »

Julie Goodwin was crowned the winner of the first series of the highly popular MasterChef Australia. She comprehensively beat South Australian artist Poh Ling Yeow after completing the three challenges they had been set.

It was a slightly controversial win of the ‘home cook’ beating the more inventive Poh who was prepared to take risks to produce some unusual and well plated dishes mainly based on her Malaysian heritage. However Julie’s cooking would probably appeal more to the masses, as she was renowned for her roast lamb and comfort food style.
MasterChef Australia has been massively successful for Channel Ten, who will be following it with a Celebrity version in October, and applications are already open for series two which will be screened next year. So what did we learn from this show?

Continue reading "Six things I learnt watching MasterChef" »

“You girls are in the final of Australia’s first Masterchef,” exclaimed Judge George. Hooray! It was an unexpected result as Julie’s unfinished offerings didn’t look a chance against the polished presentation of Chris and Poh.

Of course, the problem with a Chris / Poh playoff was that their cooking joie de vivre appeals to a niche market – a fabulous, colourful, creative and sometimes crazy place – but still a niche market.

Two million viewers probably won’t cook stinky century eggs or glutinous pigs trotters. It’s a bit like chicken feet, which while delicious, are usually left on the yum cha trolley, at least by most non-Asian diners.

Continue reading "Masterchef: I told you the girls were going to win" »

My name is Yvette and I am a Masterchef addict. Not since Charlene married Scott on Neighbours have I looked forward so eagerly to my nightly fix of commercial TV.

Masterchef has been a revelation. With gripping culinary challenges, genuine emotion and insightful tips on cooking techniques it has become must watch TV. The prospect of its conclusion on Sunday night fills me with despair.

The show has also changed my mind about the culinary industry which up ‘til now I believed was full of offensive, egotistical, sexist chefs who thought it was OK for women to cook as long as they weren’t paid for it.

Continue reading "Macho-man chefs are now stuffed and skewered" »

BUY MILK flashes the outlook calendar as I robotically press snooze.

‘Buy milk’ it urges again five seconds later.

Outlook calendar reminders have become daily practice for me.

I’m also in the habit of snoozing ad nauesaum until I’m moved to post the same reminder (not always milk, can also be ring mum, do laundry) on my phone.

You know, for later – when I have some time to ‘get around to it’. 
Facilitated by an arsenal of ‘time-saving’ devices including scrawled post it notes, an addiction to Google calendar and a filofax, I call it having efficiency in being inefficient.

Continue reading "Time poor or just plain hopeless?" »

UPDATE 12.15pm: Gordon Ramsay said this morning his response was “to say silent” - apart from the following series of points: video.

***

Parliaments are no strangers to the absurd, but for sheer incongruity it’s hard to match a report by the Senate last year on Gordon Ramsay’s swearing.

A submission (pdf here) from the Catholic Archdiocese of Adelaide states in its introduction:

The revelation that the ‘F word’ was used 80 times in a one hour program raises many questions.

Indeed. You can picture a monsignor penning that line in the dim study of a parish house and muttering: “... So I’m f***ed if I know where to start.”

Continue reading "The curse of Gordon Ramsay: How he ruined the f-bomb" »

A Parliamentary committee looking at obesity has recommended, among other things, Government-funded stomach stapling operations and a national fat register.

In all there’s 19 recommendations, including the obligatory education campaigns, further discussion of tax incentives, and better regulation of the weight loss industry. But much of it is small arms in the face of this marching army.

Take a 360 degree spin around this intersection in on the southern outskirts of Sydney to see what health authorities are really up against.

View Larger Map

Continue reading "The epicentres of Australia’s obesity epidemic" »