Clothes

America got Ralph Lauren. Britain got Stella McCartney. We got… more green and gold.

Australia’s 2012 London Olympic competition uniforms have been unveiled, and even though Sally Pearson cartwheeled down the centre of the runway, nothing could save us from yet another dreary Olympic uniform.

With the exception of Cathy Freeman’s headsock back in 2000, Australia’s competition outfits have been a wash of crop tops, tight shorts, misfitting t-shirts and the obligatory green and gold for decades.

Continue reading "Our uniform distaste for our daggy fluoro Olympians" »

Here at The Punch, we pride ourselves on our original content. OK, so the prose in our stories might not be Shakespearean, but at least you won’t find us aggregating other people’s stuff and sneakily passing it off as our own. Except for today.

Aggregation is what good websites do when they become lazy, and what lazy websites do all the time. But we can’t resist. We have found the world’s best website and we need to share it with somebody. You’ll break out into a sweat. In fact, you’ll break out into a sweater when you see…

The absolutely amazing thecosbysweaterproject.com !!!!!!!!!

Continue reading "The internet just doesn’t get any sweater than this" »

Vivienne Westwood thinks modern women are too cheap to be stylish.

The 70 year old British designer, known for her eclectic fashion range says “blatant consumerism” has left us with no sense of style.

Basically if you a) dress for comfort or b) dress to blend in, then Westwood thinks you’re both dull and un-inspiring.

Continue reading "Cheap clothes don’t make you a fashion disaster" »

Once at an NRL match, Wests Tigers fullback Tim Brasher hurled a small novelty footy my way. Pretty sure the thing was intended for his nephew or cousin, but I snatched it, I took it home and that was that.

Leaving aside the fact that a Sydney rugby league fan actually got off his backside and went to a game, there is nothing remarkable about this anecdote. Finders, keepers. Especially at sporting venues.

Yet public sympathy today appears to be leaning heavily towards 14 year old obsessive Novak Djokovic fan Melissa Cook, who missed out on a shirt thrown her way. And public fury is being unleashed on the fan who snatched the shirt.

Continue reading "Other stuff to be angry about today (with video)" »

Big organisations are giving causal Friday the boot. Or should that be the zipper?

Turns out sitting around feeling relaxed and comfortable in our second best pair of jeans has done nothing for the bottom line. It’s making us sloppy, unproductive and unfit for promotion.

Makes sense though. Since ancient times humans have had to dress up to get what they want. The grander your outfit, the more feathers in your hat or the more jewels in your crown – the more powerful and important you were considered to be. There was a reason Cleopatra had all those rings of gold around her neck, and it wasn’t for comfort.

Continue reading "If you want a promotion don’t dress like a hobo" »

Picture a psychologist’s office. Inside, there’s a 16-year-old girl. She’s sobbing. No, her parents haven’t divorced and her BF hasn’t unfriended her. She’s crying about the dress she wants to wear to her school formal. Her parents won’t buy it. Why? Because it costs $3000.

True story. It was relayed to me by one of Australia’s finest psychologists and, no, he didn’t counsel with, “Come on, Princess. Get a grip,” which would have been my response.

Sure, it’s more than 20 years since I went to my school formal in an approximation of Cyndi Lauper’s finest get-up (I may or may not have worn rags in my hair). And, yes, I appreciate that events have become a little more sophisticated than my big night, the highlight of which was sneaking out to drink wine pinched from the kitchen by a roadie from the band – ironically called The Snatch.

Continue reading "Cinderella syndrome is way out of hand" »

For a decade, my friend Sarah and I acted as mutual wardrobe mistresses. Every six months, I’d park myself on her bedroom floor and drink tea as she went through each item in her closet. Six months later, she’d come to mine and do the same.

It was ruthless. “If you want a vanilla life, wear vanilla clothes,” she’d tut, discarding my sensible Gap T-shirts and raising an eyebrow at the leather skirt I clung to for years despite it only fitting for one night, post-gastro and mid-love affair. In return, I’d note when her penchant for vintage lapsed from funky and charming to smelly old dead person.

One thing we never said was: “Hon, don’t you think you have enough clothes?” Why? Because we didn’t.

Continue reading "We buy half our body weight in clothes each year. Why?" »

For nearly a decade, the question of what Osama bin Laden might look like ran a close second to where he might be located.

Do years of murderous terrorism escalate the hair greying process? Would he be with beard or without? And what are the dress regulations for 21st Century villainy? Semi-criminal or smart homicidal?

In the long years between the September 11 terrorist attacks and Operation Assassination, these were key questions faced by US authorities as they tried to keep the visuals on their wanted posters and card decks up to date.

Continue reading "Osama: a frail, pathetic poser" »

Queensland retailers are revolting. Well, they’re fighting back against the trend of people who enter their shops, try on their stuff and then leave without buying it.

What shoppers are doing is sizing it so they can buy it online.

As an online shopper, I take a lot of risks with my purchases. Ask anyone I know if they’ve been given something I’ve bought online because it was too small or too big.

Continue reading "Try before you buy. Then buy." »

Damn that Claudia Schiffer. There I was, happily shimmying along in my J Brand “Houlihan” skinny cargos (which must be the most comfortable pants on the planet) and out she steps in a pair of flares.It’s not the first time.

She’s been doing the German-glamazon-meets-’70s-knitting-pattern for a few months now, but you know she’s nailed it when she makes even Elle Macpherson look dated.

There they were, at the school drop-off – which is the ultimate sartorial contest for British mothers (thank goodness it hasn’t hit our Havaiana-clad shores) – and sorry, Elle, but Claudia’s kick-flare and plaited leather belt combo had your skinny jeans looking so 2009.

Continue reading "Doing the school drop-off with flare" »

A funny thing happens when the men in my South Australian office travel interstate:  the first thing they do is remove their ties.

Adelaide men, you see, still wear ties to work.

Apparently their counterparts in the Eastern states do not (at least in the media industry). A colleague who’s been visiting Sydney and Melbourne a lot of late says open neck shirts are the go.

Continue reading "The ties that bind no longer" »

Who dresses their age anymore? A question on my fashion website last week…

“Dear Nedahl, I was just looking at Kylie in a mini. Is the mini appropriate for all women over 40 or only those who are pop stars/actors? As a 41 year old I’ve been wondering about this for a while. Christina.”

Personally, I think the whole issue of dressing age appropriately is past its use by date, but I’m sure others disagree. With a phrase like mutton dressed as lamb part of everyday vernacular, and a quick google search revealing a click through that said “see Gretel Killeen from Australia’s Big Brother” as their example, it’s fairly clear that people still believe in dressing for one’s age.

Continue reading "Fashion over 40 - who dresses their age anymore?" »