Chefs

To avoid some traps for young players I feel compelled to offer some advice observed from way too many hours in the rough and tumble of professional kitchens. Call it Chefs, and how to spot them in their natural habitat.

Genus: Michelinus starribus; classification: Cursus maximus

Points are given (out of ten) for each species that you may have inhabiting your kitchen, a low score is excellent, a high score should have the alarm bells ringing.

The Pedigreed Slouch, also known as the Know–all, or Mr Europe: First thing that you notice is its casual air of superiority. Its CV is long and littered with all the right names. Once working it makes repeated and ill-timed references to previous methods in other, better kitchens. Like some sort of defense mechanism, the Slouch will, when under the pump, start a frenzied monologue of how things were done at Le Manoir Quat Saisons whilst getting deeper and deeper in the shit. Usually this ends with the Slouch being rescued by an apprentice and then promptly walking out shamefaced.
Score 8

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  • Peter Thornton says:

    05:44am | 26/11/09

    Chefs are an annoying and cowardly species. I’ve worked with enough of them to form this (accurate) opinion. In my day, any chef who continually acted got-up and precious received a well deserved clip ‘round the ear. Why, these day, more waiting staff don’t maintain this excellent adjunct to a… Read more »

  • Rita says:

    10:58pm | 25/11/09

    I believe Steve would say “Well of course I think I’m the gold nugget however if I’m being honest, at different times of my life I have been quite a few on that list & then some others as well!” I actually agree with him about his being the Gold… Read more »

 

Only the other night gazing out at the opera house from Quay restaurant in Sydney I had the good fortune to sit at dinner with the new, improved, much, much larger than life Matt Preston. Not only was I subject to his advice on all things Myf Warhurst, his pony skin R.M. Williams boots and dressing-up box chic but his stagey sexy looks.

The look that stuck in my mind is when his sultry eyes gaze towards what should be a camera and while he sucked A-list chocolate off his index finger. What I can only imagine is a lot of practice in the mirror had paid off. Although I can’t say the earth moved for me, Matt later may have retired for a cigarette.

And it made me realise how we got to this point that food isn’t food on TV without some sort of sexual imagery. Two decades (and more) ago food writing and TV was left to the stuffy, recipe writers and cookbook authors, dry enough to pucker the mouth up like a plain Carrs Water biscuit.

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  • Elena says:

    06:44am | 08/02/12

    generally, the past few vniialuzatioss from NYT have been very helpful & insightful. I generally love it when people take the time to visualize these massive numbers that otherwise are unimaginable. …but I can’t help but to think this ends up being a very biased visualization in light of the… Read more »

  • Charles says:

    09:27am | 27/10/09

    I spent my adolescences in Australia & then part of my adult life in the USA and was thus able to ‘follow’ on TV a cook with a great deal of charisma - one who was truly a pioneer in this area and one whom you omitted. From co-authoring a… Read more »

 

My name is Yvette and I am a Masterchef addict. Not since Charlene married Scott on Neighbours have I looked forward so eagerly to my nightly fix of commercial TV.

Masterchef has been a revelation. With gripping culinary challenges, genuine emotion and insightful tips on cooking techniques it has become must watch TV. The prospect of its conclusion on Sunday night fills me with despair.

The show has also changed my mind about the culinary industry which up ‘til now I believed was full of offensive, egotistical, sexist chefs who thought it was OK for women to cook as long as they weren’t paid for it.

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  • Tayten says:

    10:11am | 17/10/11

    It’s imperative that more peploe make this exact point. Read more »

  • Joshenu says:

    10:55pm | 15/08/09

    The show was great, but it absolutely fell apart in the final episodes. Julie puts up three unfinished, boring, run-of-the-mill motherly dishes, and still knocks out Chris? How many ******* times do we have to see some dull and homely variation of lamb & potato? Julie was clearly given a… Read more »

 

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