Birthdays

OK, little guy. There’s no point sugar coating this so I’ll say it straight. You’re born on kind of an awkward day in history, a day which has come to symbolise a whole bunch of bad stuff. I wish it were otherwise, but that’s how it is.

Excuse the corny analogy. Pic: Rob Palmer, taste.com.au.

You were due long before September 11, but like the stubborn little thing you are, you took your time. Your poor mother was so big she looked like she’d swallowed a wombat. Then finally, out you popped. A whopping, healthy, 4.9 kilo boy, born on the fifth anniversary of the world’s worst act of terrorism.

Son, there are some scary images I’m finding it tough to shield you from this week. Believe me, it’s the hardest thing in the world to explain why a bunch of guys flew those planes into those office towers and killed all those people.

Latest 2 of 140 comments

View all comments
 
  • LC says:

    03:12pm | 24/10/12

    A very good article, but I think this news would be better suited to be broken to him in his teenage years Ant. I’m the eldest of three siblings, and on 9/11 I was seventeen, my younger sister 11 and my little brother 4. I first heard about it from… Read more »

  • Fairsnotfair says:

    09:49am | 19/09/11

    A drop of common sense. At last! I really do hope your child enjoyed her birthday as all children should. Without the lectures. Well done to you. Read more »

 

It’s The Punch’s second birthday today. And we’d like to celebrate by offering you this free cupcake, on us. Just hook up to the new NBN, and Communications Minister Stephen Conroy has personally assured us it will pop out on your desk. Whammo! Just like that. That’s what $43 billion gets you, folks.

Punchalicious!

At the very real and somewhat enticing risk of provoking a snarky Crikey piece bagging our self-indulgence, we’ve thrown together a few thoughts on two years of The Punch below.

We’d also take this opportunity to remind those of you who have not yet done our survey to give it a go. It’s totally anonymous, and it’s all about giving you a say on the direction of your, and our, favourite opinion website.

Latest 2 of 137 comments

View all comments
 
  • DH says:

    03:41pm | 02/06/11

    Better late than never, Happy Birthday!  Great site, but I sense even greater things ahead. A massive thanks for allowing me to be Punchy in all senses of the word. Love you all Read more »

  • quantum gravity monkey butt says:

    09:45am | 02/06/11

    Happy birthday and you better admit who do you send to all those politically incorrect opinions . together with them email adresses, Huh? Read more »

 

I once wrote and directed a play (yes, a real play – in a theatre, in front of an audience) in which one character gives his son some life advice along the lines of: “Try to live life the way that old Keith Miller played cricket. Dashing. Brylcreamed. Individual. Larger than life!  Not giving a damn for what anyone else thinks.”.

Sure, Dad, I'm listening. But is that a big pile of crack cocaine over there?

So for no good reason, here are 49 pieces of gratuitous advice for my two sons Charlie and Sam on this, my 49th birthday.

1. Never raise your hand to a woman.

Latest 2 of 78 comments

View all comments
 
  • Brian says:

    05:26pm | 08/03/11

    Hmm… Afraid I disagree with your take on #15, there. There are, or should be, no conditions, not even ‘I’ll love you if you don’t try to out-do Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, Ivan Milat, Ted Bundy and Justin Bieber combined.’ I may well be in the fight against such a… Read more »

  • Dan says:

    07:14am | 08/03/11

    I think no. 13 is fantastic, and I’ll definitely be teaching to my kids!!! Read more »

 

Facebook Recommendations

Read all about it

Punch live

Up to the minute Twitter chatter

Paul Colgan

Emails reveal the direct negotiations between between Steve Jobs and James Murdoch on e-book prices http://t.co/D0n5VMCGfm

ToryShepherd

RT @theheraldsun: BREAKING NEWS: Ford set to announce it will shut plants at Broadmeadows and Geelong - http://t.co/uyL9nZB4L0

Paul Colgan

Officers "flooding the streets" after 40 EDL members ran at police following the #woolwich killing http://t.co/sjhMVVONzQ

Paul Colgan

RT @ImaanHMazari: Sick terrorists beheaded a 20-year old British soldier in London are giving Islam a bad name. You aren't Muslim. Stop def…

Recent posts

The latest and greatest

The Punch is moving house

The Punch is moving house

Good morning Punchers. After four years of excellent fun and great conversation, this is the final post…

Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?

Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?

I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…

Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”

Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”

In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…

Nosebleed Section

choice ringside rantings

From: Hasbro, go straight to gaol, do not pass go

Tim says:

They should update other things in the game too. Instead of a get out of jail free card, they should have a Dodgy Lawyer card that not only gets you out of jail straight away but also gives you a fat payout in compensation for daring to arrest you in the first place. Instead of getting a hotel when you… [read more]

From: A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go

Kel says:

If you want a festival for older people or for families alike, get amongst the respectable punters at Bluesfest. A truly amazing festival experience to be had of ALL AGES. And all the young "festivalgoers" usually write themselves off on the first night, only to never hear from them again the rest of… [read more]

Gentle jabs to the ribs

Superman needs saving

Superman needs saving

Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more

28 comments

Newsletter

Read all about it

Sign up to the free News.com.au newsletter