Bikinis

Wearing a bikini turns me into a woman I don’t want to be: neurotic, angsty and hyper-pervy of every female in sight.

Bet the photographer was glad he got this assignment instead of a political presser. Pic: Dan Himbrechts.

I’m a shocker at ‘compare and despair’, so all those holidays when I should be enjoying a good book or contemplating a surf are, instead, spent in a ridiculous silent dialogue with myself:

“Are they looking at my thighs? She’s game to go the white; What’s that Miranda Kerr lookalike doing in Bermagui? Sod off back to Mauritius! Who’d have thought four triangles of Lycra could turn me into such a cow?”

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  • Paul M says:

    10:36pm | 07/11/11

    “If you were a prostitute then you would possibly have reason to worry about whether or not you possess an alluring-to-strange-men kind of appearance” Speak to a working girl sometime. She’ll tell you that all you need is to be averagely ok looking. Beyond that, it’s 100% *attitude*. Read more »

  • Trevor says:

    11:38am | 07/11/11

    You must be a woman PW. It’s attitudes like this that women are so scared to get into their bikinis in the first place! Conspiracy? Read more »

 

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