Australia

Three years ago this week, Australia was burning. On 7 February 2009 — now known as Black Saturday — a massive firestorm consumed more than 400,000 hectares in southern Australia. At least 173 people died trying to outrun the fires, defend their homes or seek shelter.

That blaze was unusually fierce, but fires are a constant source of anxiety for Australia. The continent is extremely fire-prone, with a distinctive signature of oscillating fire activity that begins in the north during the winter, then moves south during the summer. Lately, the fires have been more intense and widespread, perhaps as a result of climate change — last year, around 5 per cent of the continent was burnt.

If only fires were Australia’s sole environmental concern. The continent is also overrun by invasive species. They fill holes created by a mass extinction event that occurred around 50,000 years ago during the Pleistocene, when the arrival of the first Australians coincided with a collapse in the continent’s megafauna, namely giant marsupials (some as large as hippopotamuses), reptiles and birds.

Continue reading "Could elephants save the Australian environment?" »

Our national day has become somewhat of a chance to navel gaze. To profoundly ponder who we were, who we are, and who we want to be. To pick apart the metaphysical fluff of our nationhood.

For some it’s a day of nationalistic pride, of waving flags Made in China and trying to remember all the words to the national anthem.  For some it’s Invasion Day, the anniversary of the First Fleet’s arrival a matter for sorrow, not beer. Or it’s all about the cricket.

But there’s a fair bunch of us for whom it’s a public holiday, a day to kick back in the sun, open a cold drink a little early,  and catch up with friends and family.

Continue reading "Fire up the barbie, it’s Ostraya Day!" »

It will be a shameful day for Australia if it does not change its Constitution to both prohibit racial discrimination and recognise Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people.

The proposed changes are, individually, both worthy and overdue. But together they become complex enough to threaten the success of any referendum.

The recommendations are to remove the “race power” section, prohibit racial discrimination, but allow positive discrimination “for the purpose of overcoming disadvantage, ameliorating the effects of past discrimination or protecting the cultures, languages or heritage of any group”, to recognise indigenous Australians in the Constitution itself (rather than in a preamble), and to acknowledge indigenous languages.

Continue reading "We need a strong constitution to tackle racism" »

Norman Tebbit - a key confidante of Margaret Thatcher entirely ignored in the recent film The Iron Lady - is commonly remembered for two prescriptive statements. The first was that, instead of complaining or rioting, the unemployed should get on their bikes and look for work.

The second article of Tebbitism is that immigrants should take a ‘cricket test’ of national loyalty and identity.  If you’re living in one country but decline to support it against your nation of origin in an international sporting contest, Tebbit implied, you have failed that test.

Australia had its own less strict but more formal version of a cricket test in the sample question about Don Bradman in the original Australian citizenship test under the Howard government.

Continue reading "Is it unAustralian to barrack for the other team?" »

A Coalition suggestion that migrants need deodorant classes is an outrageous, racist furphy. It’s an absolute myth that Poms are soapdodgers.

Opposition citizenship spokeswoman Teresa Gambaro has suggested new immigrants should be taught about wearing deodorant and waiting patiently in queues.

She wants employers to give mandatory “cultural awareness training” to immigrants arriving under visas such as the 457s.

Continue reading "Using deodorant and other great Aussie traditions" »

So the Federal Government is planning to create some kind of Anzac Day brand or motif for the 2015 centenary of the Australian landing at Gallipoli. What a frightful thought.

A cartoon wombat called “Digger”, perhaps, or two M&M-like mascots coined “Heads” and “Tails”?

Here’s a goodie: how about a paunchy Aussie bloke with a broad Ostrayan twang and a stubby of VB (actually, make that Coopers now that Foster’s has gone offshore), urging us to celebrate Anzac Day with the catchcry “Just Dig It” or “Anzie, Anzie, Anzie, Oi Oi Oi”?

Continue reading "Branding Anzac Day: Ostraya and the art of cringe" »

Every New Year’s Eve Sydney’s Lord Mayor takes over the city’s prime harbourside viewing area at the Opera House just so society’s self-serving elites can get their snouts in the trough, quaff free champagne and look down on the poor people below them.

I know this because after years of trying I finally got an invitation.

Last Saturday marked the first time I had ever managed to see the New Year’s Eve fireworks display up close without the water police involved. (This does not count the year that I thought I was watching the fireworks display but had actually just set the kitchen on fire.)

Continue reading "The drunkest, stupidest, greatest city in the world" »

Bing Crosby – or maybe it was Bob Hope, or perhaps even Jimmy Stewart – on New York’s Fifth Avenue, stumbling in falling snow outside a department store, weighed down by big boxes of bow-wrapped Christmas presents. It’s an image imprinted in my mind, the quintessential picture of New York.

But this year it didn’t snow in New York. And this year, Christmas didn’t come, except for those who celebrated it like members of a shameful secret society.

I’d heard vaguely about this “War on Christmas” in America, where people don’t say “Merry Christmas” but instead say “Happy Holidays”. I didn’t really believe it, because so much of the culture and imagery of Christmas is American.

Continue reading "New York I love you, but Christmas here is a let-down" »

Over the next few months, countless Australians will be forced to listen to their friends and co-workers ponder holiday destinations.

Many factors will be considered during this process - from the number of recognisable landmarks that can be used to create obnoxious Facebook profile pictures, to whether the guy will believe them when they say the scooter was already dented when they got it.

Chief among these considerations, however, will be whether or not their chosen destination will be overrun with other human beings, who intend to use the same chunk of land for similar recreational purposes. It is this exact concern that drives so many over-confident Australians, particularly Queenslanders, to embark on ill-fated outback adventures every holiday season.

Continue reading "Go on a holiday to the middle of nowhere and you’ll DIE" »

What’s Australia like? A sizeable question, but a young Argentine student who has returned home to Buenos Aires after a year in Australia has given his report: he was so lulled into contentment that he felt he had to leave.

Carlos Miceli, 24, had planned to study in Australia for three years but pulled up stumps two years early. He expresses deep affection for the people and place but found a country with too many rules and too little to engage the socially or intellectually curious.

His views, recently posted on his website, will cause some people to say: “Then don’t come back.” That would prove his point.

Continue reading "Don’t cry for me Australia. Truth is, I’m glad I left you" »

Driving home last night the ute in front of me – Green P plater – had the following bumper sticker emblazoned across the back panel: If you don’t speak English, don’t dribble shit to me.

Delightful, eh?  As he veered right and I drove on, I looked through the window and gave him a look that said ‘you’re a dickhead’ (but not so much so that he might come beat me up).  My look however, was met with something of a surprise: the guy – a young, beefy tradesman-type was Asian. 

Which frankly, left me a little confused.  Leaving aside the apparent inconsistency of lauding ‘proper’ language on the one hand and berating the dribbling of shit on the other, wasn’t the bumper sticker anti-immigration?  Haven’t Asian migrants to Australia historically borne the brunt of anti-immigration sentiment (only to be replaced relatively recently by refugees and boat people)?  So how could an Asian person be anti-immigration?

Continue reading "Australia’s way of life does not need protecting" »

Dear Mr Obama,

Thanks heaps for your beaut speech to Parliament this week, in which you used heaps of Australian idioms and that. It was beaut.

Our prime minister looked at you like she dead set wanted to pash you, and our Opposition leader said something about being a fellow English speaker, which is a bloody riot, because seriously mate, have you heard us?

Anyway, as you’ll see if you go to any twenty-firsts or footy dinners while you’re here, we tend to do this right-of-reply dealio whenever anyone dings on a glass and makes a speech, so I thought I’d respond and stuff. Sweet as?

Continue reading "Oi Barry! Leave the money on the fridge, would ya?" »

If you want to keep tabs on all the Obama action throughout the day, you can’t beat this live blog by Chris Paine over at News.com.au.

The eventual deployment of 2500 Marines in the Northern Territory, weather permitting, is not a massive military investment but it is designed to send a substantial message.

And the message is that as global power moves from the Atlantic to Asia, the United States intends to move with it.

And Australia will continue to be aligned with the US, even as its economic and cultural gears mesh more evenly and frequently with those of its regional neighbours.

Continue reading "Gillard and Obama: US forces given the nod" »

Julia Gillard, Australia’s 27th Prime Minister, is apparently no Prime Minister at all. She is, as they say, ‘illegitimate’.

This belief has become almost as entrenched in the national discourse as the word ‘discourse’ is entrenched in first year arts essays. To many, the circumstances surrounding Ms Gillard’s ascension to the nation’s highest office carried the complexity sufficient to completely erode its legality.

Throw in a few taxes and a handful of independents, and you have the green light for all manner of nutbags citizens to observe the ‘death of democracy’ – a ritual replete with cardboard coffins cleverly decorated with the word ‘democracy’.

Continue reading "Democracy is dead. Long live democracy!" »

Britain’s colonial era, now represented by the modern Commonwealth of Nations meeting in Perth, can only be looked back on according to its good bits and its bad bits.

The good bits included rule of law, a public service, democracy, language and cricket.

The bad bits included economic exploitation, cultural genocide, brutal subjugation and cricket.

Continue reading "CHOGM is the sound of a spluttering Commonwealth" »

It’s hard to pick the most disturbing moment. Is it when the van hits two-year-old Yueyue, pauses, then drives off? Is it the mother and small child who detour around her prone body? Or is it the sheer number of people who clearly see her and do nothing?

Warning: Disturbing footage

The video of the Chinese toddler, who wandered away from her mother and into trouble, makes you heartsick. It makes you question humanity. It makes you want to shake those people - shake them until their teeth rattle.

And of course, even as Yueyue lies in hospital with critical head injuries, it makes you wonder whether a similar evil negligence could happen here, or whether life is cheaper in places where it’s so much more abundant.

Continue reading "What kind of person ignores a dying two-year-old girl?" »

This week’s Q and A program featured Rosalie Kunoth-Monks, who has been an instrumental figure in drawing attention to the federal and Northern Territory Governments policies which are effectively stripping traditional Indigenous communities - ‘homelands’ - of funds.

Aboriginal peoples’ rights to traditional lands, culture, informed consent and adequate housing are being undermined.

Last week, Salil Shetty, the Secretary General of Amnesty International and I had the honour and privilege of spending time with Rosalie and the people of the Utopia Homelands on a fact finding mission. This was the first time I had travelled to Utopia in two years. I was struck by the fact that very little had changed.

Continue reading "Utopia and a Third World in the First World" »

Those too selfish and lazy to properly stash their trash better listen up. It’s time to take a leaf out of Singapore’s book and treat litterers like the criminals they are.

I was a race virgin until recently. Sydney’s Rosehill Gardens is, as expected, an eclectic mix of beautiful and hideous dresses, faceless men with mobiles plastered to their ears on the balcony, hardcore punters in trackie dacks casting a hex on their rivals by invoking Tony Abbott’s name. It was like Parliament, really, with a touch of sunshine and horses.

But somewhere between struggling to walk back and forth from the racing track to the bookies on uneven ground in stilettos, something did surprise me. Betting tickets, plastic drinking cups, hotdog buckets, and loose change everywhere.

Continue reading "For god’s sake, bin your damn rubbish" »

When UK expat and young mum Jessica Green stood up at her Australian citizenship ceremony at Sydney’s Petersham Town Hall a few weeks ago to sing the national anthem, something quite bizarre happened.

It didn’t have anything to do with her singing (although she says she hates singing). A few “suggested videos” popped up on the big screen near the new Aussie citizens when the YouTube clip playing the national anthem finished. One of which was the Nazi national anthem.

“Everyone was staring at it, like: are you serious?” Jessica laughs. “That was slightly awkward.”

Otherwise, she says, it was a really nice ceremony. People of all backgrounds, many dressed in green and gold and some draped in the Australian flag, pledged their allegiance to Australia. In ceremonies like this year-round, people who have successfully completed the mountains of paperwork and passed the test required to become a citizen take an oath of loyalty to Australia. And now a prominent Gillard Government minister has floated the idea of getting kids to take the same pledge of citizenship at school.

Continue reading "Should we have a pledge of allegiance at schools?" »

Twenty years ago today, Muscovites awoke to tanks in their streets in a ill-fated coup against the modernising leader, Mikhail Gorbachev.

It was, it turned out, the last gasp of the hardliners and within months, Soviet communism was officially over.

Along with the collapse of the Berlin Wall two years before these events were viewed somewhat triumphally as the end of history. Indeed a book of the same name was a publishing sensation in the early 90s.

Continue reading "An island of calm amid global economic meltdown" »

Have you heard of Changsha, Chengdu and Chongqing? How about Wuhan or Weifang? Indeed try a little test: name seven cities in China … you can even count Hong Kong.

To my shame, I was unaware of any of these places before I set off for China last week. I was also unable to name seven Chinese cities.

As a late ring in for our Foreign Minister – who had something on even closer to his heart than China – I joined Trade Minister Craig Emerson in leading a trade delegation to China of a hundred Australian businesses.

Continue reading "A city the size of London in the middle of China" »

Reckless P-platers have often thrown bottles at Cadel Evans when he’s training along the Great Ocean Road near his home town of Barwon Heads, Victoria. Maybe they’ll think twice now, just in case that anonymous lycra-clad figure on the road is a Tour de France winner.

Evans’ Tour de France triumph represents a massive day in Australian sport. Bigger than the America’s Cup victory in 1983. Bigger than anything Pat Cash, Greg Norman or Lleyton Hewitt ever did. Bigger than any of Ian Thorpe’s swims and bigger, yes, than Cathy Freeman’s 400m run in Sydney.

This was not just a victory in the world’s largest annual sporting event, but a victory for everything that we value in Australian sport.

Continue reading "Thank you Cadel, you’ve done us all proud" »

We’ve all read the headlines: “A disastrous weekend at the box office as Australian films fail dismally”.

The idea we don’t like our own movies has become so prevalent it was the subject of a panel discussion at the recent Mumbrella360 conference. 

Despite being an advertising nerd who’s never marketed a film in my life, I found myself sitting beside film-makers, an executive from Screen Australia, and a distributor, discussing the topic “What needs to be done to persuade Australian filmgoers to watch Australian films?”

Continue reading "How to turn a profit from Aussie film flops" »

Yesterday I was reminded of one of the most amazing and moving moments I have ever experienced. It was in 2006 and I was listening to the national anthems being sung at the Lone Pine memorial service on Anzac day. Surprisingly, what moved me was not the roar of over 10,000 Australians singing our own national anthem, but hearing the thousands of Kiwi pilgrims belting out theirs.

I wasn’t moved at the thought of God defending our mates over the ditch (as the anthem goes), rather it was the first ever time I had heard New Zealanders sing the first Maori verse of their anthem, and it was sung with such gusto and pride.

I was astonished not only that they had been taught the Maori words, but that they were proud enough to sing it so loudly and passionately.  I was jealous of their historic and cultural pride that day.

Continue reading "Advance Australia Fair & Anangula a tjutala" »

Whenever I mention to people that I am a researcher in politics, they talk to me about elections, the government and how they often feel slated by the behaviour of their politicians.

Ask what the best political system is, and people will tell you it’s democracy, of course. And if you ask them what’s most important in a democracy, clearly they’ll answer it’s the right to vote. Why?Because it gives ‘us’ all some sort of voice; a say in who will represent us in parliament. If it wasn’t for voting, a minority would certainly take power and rule only for their own interest.

Let’s consider these statements and ask ourselves a few more questions. How many of us really think our vote matters and truly influences the way our country is run? Apart from token measures, who truly believes there is much of a difference between our two major parties? More to the point, how many of us vote for the ‘least worst’ rather than for a party which truly represents our ideas of what society should be?

Continue reading "Democratic by name, not by nature" »

Monday is Queensland Day, a commemorative 24 hours that has a history older than most white-man milestones in our country.

It is older than Federation, older than electricity, but undervalued because we don’t quite know how to celebrate the best place in the world and aren’t big on causing a commotion about ourselves.

Queensland Day acknowledges the birth of Queensland in 1859 as a self-governing colony.

Continue reading "Queensland: Best place in the world. Discuss." »

It’s hard to know what the live animal export industry is more concerned about.

The fact that Australian animals are being tortured in Indonesia, or the fact that Australians now know that Australian animals are being tortured in Indonesia.

I have long been opposed to the live animal export industry.

Continue reading "Spend on job creation, not overseas cruelty" »

When my parents arrived in the 1950s as ’10 pound Poms’, Australia was a brave new world. Their street in Melbourne’s Glen Waverley bustled with fellow European migrants eager to create a life for their families. 

But while our neighbourhood was a snapshot of multicultural Europe there wasn’t a lot of mixing. My parents socialised with others from the old country while their Italian and Greek neighbours went to their own churches and started their own small businesses.

The ‘poms’ and ‘wogs’ in the street lived together quite happily, but separately.

Continue reading "Have you even met an Aboriginal person?" »

On Anzac Day, I along with about 150 protestors stood across from the Villawood Detention Centre where the crumpled remains of a burnt building, barbed wire and a security guard stood between us and them: the scourge of this naton, the ‘refugee’. The protestors chanted while a lone figure of a detainee on top of a tiled roof squatted, looking on despondently.

I wondered if he was thinking what I was thinking: That our brave soldiers who fought in Gallipoli and who today are fighting in Afghanistan, did so to protect our freedoms in the name of humanity. And ironically, while we celebrate those freedoms as a democratic nation, we are locking up people, depriving them of their freedom, their dignity and their common humanity, driving them to acts of insanity.

The Immigration Minister, the Prime Minister and the ALP at large may be caught between a rock and a hard place when it comes to the question of what should be done with asylum seekers; however, Australia not only as a signatory to the International Covenant of Civil and Political Rights, but as a democracy, should place human rights before politics.

Continue reading "Don’t blame Muslims for multiculturalism’s failings" »

It’s been a tough few weeks for Julia Gillard. She was accused of pre-election lying over carbon pricing, demonised at a comical fringe-dwelling rally, and conservative radio hosts competed over who can be most disrespectful towards her.

Gillard’s incompetence at foreign affairs is another area of criticism that’s becoming louder every overseas visit she makes. She was widely criticised for not advocating strongly enough the government’s support for the no-fly zone over Libya, and her first visit to America was eminently forgettable, including an unnecessarily emotional and ham-laden address to Congress.

The consensus is that Gillard is an international lightweight incapable of advocating the government’s position. But what Gillard’s critics fail to understand is that her weakness in foreign affairs is inconsequential.

Continue reading "Punch: It’s no biggie if Julia doesn’t like foreign affairs" »

Julia Gillard is not the first Australian Prime Minister to come to office with no experience of or interest in international relations. Unlike most, however, she appears disturbingly reluctant to learn.

While there is nothing inherently wrong with a Prime Minister admitting that she has no particular passion for foreign affairs, limited interest doesn’t excuse a lack of competence.

Sadly, Prime Minister Gillard’s performance to date has been marred by a series of embarrassing incidents, of which the obsequious performance before the United States Congress and her persistence with the refugee processing centre in Timor Leste against the manifest objections of Timor Leste’s government are just the most recent examples.

Continue reading "Counterpunch: Get out there and spruik us, Julia!" »

A debate about GST distribution in Australia is a debate about our future as a federation. Some states – notably Western Australia – contribute far more than their fair share to the national purse. Others – notably South Australia and Tasmania – take far more than they give.

For example, WA gets about 68c in the dollar back from the Federal Government, while SA gets around $1.30.

It’s obvious that horizontal fiscal equalisation is unfair, and that the GST has moved beyond an Australian ‘fair go’ and more towards an inequitable redistribution of wealth.

Continue reading "Time to rid Australia of the burden of Tasmania and SA" »

Have a guess how many of Australia’s top 50 companies have at their very heart a good idea.

Not mineral resources, selling other people’s goods or repackaging money in increasingly intricate ways, but an actual good idea which spawned the genesis of a new business.

It’s a pretty easy answer - none.

Continue reading "Australia: The not-so-clever country" »

Antipodean Greens have established themselves as the rudest on the planet, with the New Zealanders easily winning the local derby.

Tomorrow Prime Minister Julia Gillard will address the New Zealand Parliament in Wellington in what her Kiwi counterpart, conservative John Key, had hoped would be a first.

However, NZ Greens co-leader Russel Norman and colleagues have made sure the Parliament won’t be in session when she arrives, making it just another speech and not a high-level honour.

Continue reading "Rude Greens give red light to Gillard" »

On April 29 this year, Prince William will marry Kate Middleton. In October, the Queen will visit Perth for the Commonwealth Heads of Government meeting.

As the person responsible for media at the Australian Republican Movement (ARM), I predict that these will be my two busiest times of the year. Whenever anyone mentions royalty in an Australian context, the media then thinks “republic” and more often than not gives me a call.

This is as it should be, since the media knows that the majority of Australians want Australia to be a republic now or at the end of the Queen’s reign - at least 60 per cent, according to most polls. On the other hand, it means that the ARM sometimes spends more time talking about royal personalities and personages rather than the things that really matter to us - why an Australian Republic is so important to Australia. The fact is, we have nothing against the personalities - it is the institution that is the problem.

Continue reading "The republic debate is about more than just the royals" »

They reckon the world is shrinking. It’s not. Far-places are still far-flung, no matter how fast your laptop starts up.

The Greyhound Bus trip from Darwin to Tennant Creek takes 13 hours and 50 minutes. You can get from Sydney to Dubai in the same time. 

It’s a drag, but the options are limited. The plane used to fly daily; now it’s twice a week. There’s a train, the one John Howard built back at the turn of the century, but it’s slower than the bus. It doesn’t even stop at Tennant unless you slip the driver a carton.

Continue reading "Dog of a trip on the Greyhound to Tennant Creek" »

If you haven’t heard the news, or the outrage, legendary British chat show host Sir Michael Parkinson yesterday became the first non-Australian to deliver the Australia Day address. Here’s his speech.

With due sheepishness, The Punch team admit we didn’t actually know there was such a thing as the Australia Day Address. But apparently it’s been a platform for interesting and prominent Australians for 14 years until clearly, there were no interesting or prominent Australians left. So we got Parky. Who, to be fair, is both an interesting and prominent Pom (oh, and he called himself a Pom in his speech, so don’t anyone complain about the choice of word.)

Parky didn’t exactly drop any bombshells. In post-speech interviews he did suggest we should sever ties with the monarchy when the queen hangs up her white gloves, but surely, the last thing anyone needs today is a debate on republic vs monarchy. There was, however, one interesting point he touched upon very briefly: our so-called classless society.

Continue reading "Is classlessness the great Australian myth?" »

This summer of floods has been an incredible test of character for all the people who’ve faced it.  And through it all, amongst the tragedy, sadness and loss, our Aussie spirit has shone through, brighter than ever.

Stories of bravery, sacrifice and mateship abound.  Friends drop everything to go and help their friends.  Total strangers put their lives at risk to save others.  People wade into floodwaters to save stranded dogs, cats and even kangaroos.

People who live on high ground offered their driveways, their yards and even their houses so total strangers can store their possessions and have somewhere to sleep. 

Continue reading "Celebrating the Australian spirit" »

Around this time last year, a bouncer at a Brisbane nightclub was furious - he’d lost his favourite shirt.

As I dug through my wallet to find my driver’s licence and mentally rehearsed my usual lie (“How many have you had?” – “Just a couple”), he told me he had sifted through every drawer and looked under every seat in his Commodore.

“Oh yeah it’s always the last place you look or something,” I mumbled as I pulled out a Target gift card.

Then he dropped this little pearl: “Yeah it’s pissing me off ‘cause it’s almost Aussie Day and I won’t be able to tell ‘em ‘we grew here, you flew here’.”

Continue reading "Grew here, flew here… what matters is what you DO here" »

From the moment the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve, Australia will begin summoning in a new generation – let’s call them Generation Fair – the first group of young Australians born under a universal scheme to support their parents through their first few months.

If you believe some, there will be an influx in the early hours of mothers desperate to hold back their child to join this select group.

Having gone through the rigours of childbirth myself, I doubt that – but I do accept these kids will be fortunate to be members of this new club.

Continue reading "Welcome to Generation Fair" »

Surely Aussie fans can come up with something better than Oi Oi Oi to lift the spirits of our cricketers?

It’s bad enough that this Ashes series is being televised, but many Australians have made the terrible mistake of paying good money to go and watch the matches live.

I was among their number on days one and four of the Adelaide Test and had intended to go to the Sydney Test, too, but will now be doing something more entertaining, like scraping my fingernails along a blackboard or watching an Andre Rieu DVD.

Continue reading "Aussie Aussie Aussie? No! No! No!" »

The Government today was pushed closer to deciding whether Australia should be an under-populated, bijou nation-ette, or a place of strong population growth producing a stronger economy.

Population Minister Tony Burke received reports from three panels commissioned to look at the economic, environmental and demographic factors involved in increasing the number of our citizens.

He will respond in April.

Continue reading "Escaping Small Australia: A case for population growth" »

Hello England. You’re that island (or portion thereof) adrift in the North Sea somewhere near, gee I dunno, Iceland or something right?

England, I’m told you used to be this terrifically confident place which belied its speck-on-the-map geographical status by civilising the world with such benevolent and enduring cultural endowments as the Westminster system, cricket and The Benny Hill Show.

But suddenly England, you’ve gone all insecure and snipey. England, I can’t tell you how genuinely shocked I was to read this piece by journalist Matthew Norman in The Telegraph the other day. Here’s the really surprising bit.

Continue reading "Land of no hope and vainglory" »

Australians are often proud of our relaxed, easy-going, “she’ll be right” ethos.

In fact nothing could be farther from the truth.

Most of the time she will not be right and on the rare occasions that she is right it’s only because someone more industrious – say a Scandanavian for example – has gotten off their arse and done something.

Continue reading "On second thoughts, she probably won’t be alright" »

Over recent years, Australia has doubled its financial commitment to foreign aid.

Yet our aid program has remained starved of attention from the government, media and community at large.

On Tuesday, Kevin Rudd sought to rectify this by announcing a five-month independent review of the effectiveness of Australia aid.

Continue reading "Australia’s foreign aid is starved of attention" »

Forget the disappointing tour of India, the Ashes (beginning November 25) is the Test series that creates Australian heroes.

Of course, there can be dangers putting cricketers on a pedestal, but there is one idol who has always been seen as above reproach, Don Bradman.

Indeed, Bradman’s aura as a sporting icon became so great that respected cricket writer R.C Robertson-Glasgow wrote: “There are no funny stories about the Don. No one ever laughed about Bradman. He was no laughing matter’‘.

Continue reading "Bradman: bowling over the long-held myth" »

When it comes to questions of population, ignorance often prevails. The business lobby in Australia, often through its many and varied “independent” centres and institutes, leads the way.

Through its complex web of public relations activities, it pushes its population growth propaganda, specialising in denial.

Here are some facts:

Continue reading "Population growth is a choice" »

I have listened with great interest to this week’s parliamentary debate about Australia’s involvement in Afghanistan, just as I have listened with great interest to this debate for the past nine years, since October 7th, 2001, when Operation Enduring Freedom was launched by the United States and its allies, including Australia, so that freedom so bravely won by the people of Afghanistan from communist oppression, and so cruelly lost over the following decade to civil war and Taliban misrule, may indeed return, and this time endure.

I have listened to this debate and heard many arguments that we should abandon our mission in Afghanistan. 

Some of these arguments are passionate, others cold and rational; some seem sincere, while others callous. And all of them are wrong.

Continue reading "Ending Afghanistan will aid a monstrous regime" »

Recently News.com.au published an article from Brisbane’s Courier-Mail and a poll calling for the banning of the Aussie sporting war cry “Oi! Oi! Oi!” on grounds that it’s embarrassing.

When I last checked, the yeas were outnumbering the nays two to one and I find that distressing.

I’m not remotely embarrassed to say I love the Aussie Aussie Aussie warcry.

Continue reading "There’s nothing wrong with the Aussie bogan slogan" »

Albert Namatjira is an indigenous Australian who died almost half a century ago but his life has recently become the subject of a play at Sydney’s Belvoir Street Theatre and “Namatjira” should be required watching for anyone ready to hold a mirror up to their own face and take a equanimous approach to our cultural divide.

Quite aside from the extraordinary skill, energy and physicality of the two main actors’ brilliant performances - they carry ten characters and about five accents between them- the narrative tells us as much about Namatjira’s ultimately tragic life as it does about Australian history in the early 20th century and it’s an awesome journey.

Continue reading "Namatjira’s story, a lesson for everyone" »

It’s 10 years today since the start of the Sydney Olympics, otherwise known as the greatest party ever. Flew by, didn’t it. This isn’t a long, boring treatise on the legacy of the Games, although if you want to have a whinge about white elephants, or elephants of any colour, don’t let me stop you.

I, for one, can’t believe the NSW government is blowing $45 million to revamp the Sydney Showground for the Western Sydney Battlers or whatever the new AFL team ends up being called. Wait. It’s the NSW government. Of course I can believe it.

But like I say, this isn’t a whinge piece. It’s basically just an invitation to share your memories of that wonderful time.

Continue reading "A decade since the Olympic ... effort by my Russian gran" »

During the recent election campaign, any significant attention to our place in the world and foreign policy was lost amongst the cacophony of discussion of the environment, climate change, the economy, broadband internet and Speedos.

With the exception of the boat people drama, both major parties seemed strangely silent on the topic of Australia’s interaction with the outside world. ‘Moving Australia Forward’ probably didn’t extend to dumping the entire country somewhere in the North Atlantic, but that’s about as much attention as it got.

Continue reading "Ambassador for the Australian mentality" »

I was heartened last week to note the launch of the GenerationOne project to address Indigenous disadvantage in Australia and in particular, the approach the campaign has taken towards reaching out to the younger generation to “make a difference in our lifetime”.

It is certainly not the first time such a grand plan to address the gap between non-Indigenous Australians and Indigenous has been announced, however the backing of high calibre celebrities and notable businesspeople goes a long way towards bringing this idea to the attention of mainstream media – something many similar projects have failed to achieve.

This is an issue that requires the attention of all Australians, however individuals can often feel powerless in the face of such an immense and longstanding disparity, not knowing how one person can make a difference. 

Continue reading "A program for change with room for everyone" »

Britain’s expulsion of an Israeli diplomat is a lesson for Australia to stop handling Israel with kid gloves.

Israel has made clear that it does not respond to gentle persuasion or constructive criticism from its friends, nor does it listen to the quiet language of international law.

Israel is willing to abuse the trust of its friends by defrauding their passports, assassinating people on foreign territory, and approving new settlements on Palestinian land on the eve of peace talks.

Continue reading "Time to stop handling Israel with kid gloves" »

Much discussion has been had recently – mostly media engineered discussion to coincide with Australia Day and the launch of News Ltd’s new nationally syndicated Taste section – on the subject of Australia’s national dish.

In years past dinner meant a slab of charcoaled fatty steak and three kinds of over-microwaved veg. Food was once the subject of much inattention and is now our newest obsessive interest. However, no one is sure exactly what Australia’s national dish is – or if we even have one – and there has been an awful lot of to-ing and fro-ing about it.

Traditionally lacking in a food culture to call our own that doesn’t involve a well-done steak (and with the majority of the Australian population having little knowledge of indigenous eating habits beyond the witchetty grub) generations of immigrants to our shores have introduced stir-fries, pastas, curries and many more culinary masterpieces that make up the wonderful multicultural cuisines eaten across Australia.

Continue reading "Our national dish: a big pile of meat" »

Our American friends remember The Alamo, we see Gallipoli and North Africa among defining moments in national pride and self-sacrifice against seemingly insurmountable odds.

These initial bloody defeats led state and nations on to ultimate victory against powerful foes.

It’s drawing a long bow to compare any of those to the political battle now being fought on global warming, but one prominent climate realist has done that, and it’s sure to grab some attention.

Continue reading "It’s El Alamein revisited as climate war heats up" »

The story of the ‘great Australian sickie’ made it around the world this week, spreading the fallacy that half a million Aussies faked sore throats and tummy bugs to get a long weekend.

Direct Health Solutions – apparently a ‘leader in Positive Absence Management and Corporate Wellness Solutions’ (what the?) – was given a massive free kick with their Australia Day absenteeism ‘estimate’.

Then the Retailers Associations’ Scott Driscoll really got the headlines pumping, labelling the sickie-takers ‘unAustralian bums’.

Continue reading "In defence of sickies" »

A few days ago on this website, editor David Penberthy wrote to explain why, as he put it, “Australia Day is rubbish”. Well, not to come across all Sam Kekovich, but I reckon he’s full of it.

According to Penberthy, this annual celebration - which nicely bookends a silly season that begins with the running of the Melbourne Cup - is a shallow glorification of all that’s wrong with this country, “a half-witted contest to see how much meat you can eat and how much grog you can sink.”

As if there’s anything wrong with that.

The fact is that no free country spends its national day navel gazing. Instead, they hook on to some element of their individual creation story and use it as an excuse for a piss-up.

Continue reading "We can’t spend our national day bemoaning our history" »

It’s Tuesday @ The Punch.

Australian youth radio station Triple J (then known as 2JJ) made its first broadcast today in 1975.

It’s Tuesday @ The Punch

Maurice Gibb who played keyboard, bass and percussion for the Bee Gees died today in 2003 at the age of 53.

What really defines these three aspects of our society: Its race or colour? Peace or violence? Street crime or racial crime?

You might have thought that race, peace and street crime are more commonly seen in our society. People generally do. But take a second to think about your answers. 

To my mind, every person who lives in Australia should be given a ‘fair go’, an ideal that many Australians aim to hold. Australia was built by immigrants, and the influence of immigrants stretches broadly throughout society.

Continue reading "We need to face up to the reality of race based crime" »

Twenty20 is like a box-office smash hit – overloaded with action, drama and emotion.

And like any blockbuster, crowds are flocking to cricket grounds to soak up the electric atmosphere of Twenty20.
There’s a saying in business that you find out what people want and you give it to them – in bigger doses.

Continue reading "Why Twenty20 will knock traditional cricket for six" »

HOW many Test innings have we seen fail as Aussie batsmen reach the nervous nineties?

Too many, I’d say.

Boxing Day is often a cricketer’s field of dreams - the biggest day on the Test calendar.

Continue reading "The nervous 90s are all in our heads" »

As a child of the 1980’s I experienced a huge wave of nostalgia reading about Mike Leyland’s death this morning.

Only 68 Mike Leyland is believed to have died from complications arising from Parkinsons disease, a battle he had been fighting for about three years.

Parkinsons disease is a degenerative neurological condition that affects approximately 30, 000 Australians. Symptoms can include abnormalities of movement, such as tremor and muscular rigidity.

Continue reading "Mike Leyland inspired a generation" »

There’s further evidence today of the growing contempt that modern managers of sporting codes hold for fans of their games, with English cricket managers begging the crowd to be nice to Ricky Ponting when he walks to the middle in the fourth Ashes Test, getting underway at Headingley in a few hours’ time.

For a measure of how patronising and unnecessary this is, look no further than Australian batsman Shane Watson, who says the booing Ponting gets from the crowds is to be expected - and something players enjoy, even thrive on, when playing in England.

Cricket managers in Australia have shown a similar pattern of growing discomfort with what ordinary people consider a good day out. When the Poms were last here, the Barmy Army’s trumpeter was kicked out of the Gabba for playing his instrument, despite getting prior approval to blow it. (He’s been banned from the Headingley Test, too.)

Continue reading "Boo to English cricket bosses. And the Aussie ones, too" »

While the Australian media is working itself into a frenzy over the jailing of Rio Tinto executive Stern Hu, the public seems to be forming a more pragmatic view of our relationship with China.

The Federal Opposition’s attempts to whip up a new round of dog whistling over the arrest have fallen on deaf ears as the public accepts there are things that are outside the power of even a Mandarin-speaking Prime Minister.

But the failure of the Hu jailing to bite with the public may speak to a broader maturing in out attitude towards the emerging superpower to which our fortunes are so closely tied.

Continue reading "What we really think about Stern Hu" »

PIGS might fly. At least that’s what many Australians believe their chances are of being struck down by swine flu.

Epidemics have a habit of incubating fear and panic. But in cyberspace many people are just getting sick of what they perceive as excessive hype over the swine flu.

While health authorities have been issuing warnings about health and hygiene practices, quarantining suspected flu carriers and closing schools, the measures have been met with skepticism by bloggers to major Australian news forums.

There is a widely-held belief coming through online comments that Australian authorities are over-reacting to the seriousness of the influenza.

Continue reading "Pigs might fly: What we’re really thinking on swine flu" »