Assault
On school visits, Benji Marshall has a fun and disarming way of introducing himself. He says “my name is Benjamin Quentin Marshall” as the kids look on with bemusement. Marshall will no doubt introduce himself with similar formality, minus the cheeky grin, when he fronts court on assault charges on April 20. But regardless of what happens that day, I’d still invite him to my kids’ school.

Marshall, who launched the 2011 NRL season last week, was allegedly racially taunted in the most vulgar possible way on Saturday night. This, after he’d MC’d a charity function for the Children’s Cancer Institute which raised $244,000, then stayed out in town for a few drinks, and a fateful 3am burger, which all made sense as he had a room booked in town.
Obviously, The Punch wasn’t there. But let me say this: in five years at Australia’s biggest sporting magazine Alpha, I met numerous topline footballers in all codes. And Benji Marshall was right at the top of the list of the players who struck me as intelligent, wholesome, and thoroughly unlikely to turn feral without the severest provocation.
Continue reading "Benji Marshall. Hero. Gentleman. Good guy" »
It’s not hard to become a serial offender. It’s much harder to avoid becoming one. It’s hardest of all when your offence – serial, nearly serial, or otherwise – is Movie Rage.

This is a seriously under-studied syndrome suffered by usually polite and self-effacing people who go to the movies to see a film.
Not to have lunch, morning or afternoon tea. To see a film.
Continue reading "Confession: Movie rage made me ‘assault’ a stranger" »
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You aren’t allowed to smack your partner, so why should you be allowed to smack your child?
It also makes no sense to me to declare war on thugs in the street and yet still allow parents to hit their kids.
This is particularly the case when it’s done with a blunt wooden object rather than just a hand.
Continue reading "Wooden spooning is assault, no back chat" »
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XYZ says:
This is for biological parents only. I threw the wooden spoon at my daughter (15years). It hit her on her thigh. She was furious and threatened to report me to police. My calm answer was: “Go ahead sweetheart, I , yes I will tell them to either remove me from… Read more »
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Bernadette says:
Smacking! Hmm, what message are we seding our kids when we smack them? I’ll tell what message that is, that their behaviour is unacceptable and that a smack on the backside means pull your head in and do as your told. The kids of today that are not disciplined with… Read more »
With the controversy in Melbourne of a mother who was brought before police and still could be charged with assualt for using wooden spoon on her daughter, we at the Punch thought we’d share with you wooden spooning techniques used in our families. Were you subjected to the wooden spoon? Is it acceptable or based on an outdated notion or corporal punishment?

Growing up in family of nine children discipline was not merely an issue for parents at one point in my family we had our own militia and counter-intelligence organisation.
I’m actually surprised that we all survived some of those punch ups that would quickly escalate into riots putting those Nigerian crime gangs to shame.
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Alan Carter says:
Ella, the only voice of sanity on this whole page. Being hit for crying (a natural and obvious reaction to being violated) after being assaulted… such a harmful insult! I know from experience… I can’t forget the overwhelming feeling of being so totally alone in the world when that happened… Read more »
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Ella says:
I came from a middle to upper class family with no drug addiction issues which externally did not appear to be broken. Despite being in a ‘good’ family my sister and I were hit with open palms, a dedicated strapping belt, wooden spoons, hair brushes or whatever was available on… Read more »
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