Apocalypse

Don’t be fooled. The end is coming, and it’s coming on Monday morning. At exactly 10am, Australian Eastern Daylight Time, The Internet will explode. Fact.

In a cruel confluence of major events, the Labor leadership ballot will clash with the Oscars, and Australia’s mass consumption of digital media will cause the webz to buckle under the weight of its own Wi-Fi. Or something.

And as the internet slips into oblivion, so too will human existence. Why? Because South Park said so. Plus hyperbole is fun. The Mayans have long predicted the crumbling of civilisation will transpire on December 12, 2012, which was confirmed by the 2009 documentary 2012.

Continue reading "Roll out the red carpet for a ruddy e-pocalypse" »

End-of-the-world-is-nigher Harold Camping now says May 21 was the ‘invisible Judgement Day’, and that the Earth will in fact be obliterated in October. Here, Rachel Corbett talks us through the comedown.

According to the false prophet Harold Camping, we were all supposed to be stepping over fire and brimstone on our way to work this week, but instead we’ve been left oscillating somewhere between confusion and disappointment.

To be honest, when I didn’t wake on Sunday morning to discover my backyard engulfed in the flames of hell, I was mildly upset.  I’d really been looking forward to catching a ride to work with one of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse but instead I had to go back to killing the planet slowly with my mindless consumption of fossil fuels, and take the car. How boring.

Continue reading "All aboard the Jeebers train. Again." »

Blow the trumpet. Warn the people. The Rapture is nearly upon us.

Tremble in your trendy sneakers, all ye infidels, unbelievers and sinners. For a decrepit old nutjob in California says that on May 21 at 6pm Judgement Day will begin. That should be 11am Sunday, AEST - but news reports suggest it could happen at 6pm Saturday night all around the world, so we’re going to maintain barely suppressed panic for as long as it takes.

Doomsdayer Harold Camping says only 2 or 3 per cent of the Earth’s population will be ‘raptured’ up into Heaven while the rest of us suffer through floods and earthquakes for a bit before burning in the pit of eternal hell for a really really long time. So stay tuned! We’ll be blogging it from the City of Churches but we want to hear from people right across the country. If you spot a sign of the pending Apocalypse, let us know!

Continue reading "Live Blog: Countdown to the end of the world" »