Ambition

Inspired by that 80-year-old Californian guy who recently completed 80 skydives in less than seven hours, I’ve spent the past couple of weeks thinking about creating a bucket list.

These days, people do not accidentally live awesome lives. They work for it. Fiery impulsiveness and terrifying recklessness must be meticulously planned. A bucket list is a scientifically-proven and Morgan Freeman-endorsed way to achieve said awesomeness.

Without an action-filled plan of action, a person risks losing focus and aimlessly drifting to the point where they find themselves in a tacky, neon-lit club making out with a 53-year-old Kardashian sister while her publicist gently weeps beside a broken tray of tequila shots.

Continue reading "First on my bucket list, um… buy a bucket!" »

As far back as I remember, I was never really interested in going to work or keeping a steady job. At the age of 20, I had graduated from University with a degree in Bugger All, and I had planned to be a dog walker for the wealthy – preferably for randy lonely old women living in the Eastern Suburbs and who didn’t have time to walk their terriers between yoga and brunch.

When I ended up in the hospital after one day of walking ‘Max’, I came to two conclusions: First, never interrupt a dog mating; Second, I needed a new job.

All this got me thinking about what my perfect job would be. Unlike all my other friends with a BA, I had no interest in working at a bank. So instead, I decided I would help save the planet.

Continue reading "The weird things we do to put bread on the table" »

As we approach summer, its natural to do some kind of stocktake, a bit of a personal inventory of where you stand at the end of another year.  And in a socially mobile society such as ours, the question on many lips will be whether this year was the year in which they could finally say, “I have arrived.”

You will have heard of a departure checklist.  Well, in a similar vein, and with a view to helping those everywhere labouring under uncertainty, this article undertakes to provide a ready-made, simple to use arrival checklist. Simply work through the items below and record whether you have performed or demonstrated all of the relevant requirements.

1.  Acquired incompetence – This is an umbrella term used to describe the phenomenon experienced by successful people whereby, although they have got where they are through their general competence, and usually an acute self-awareness of such competence, they are now unable to do anything for themselves.

Continue reading "Punch list: how you know you’ve really arrived!" »