Airlines
The whole airline business is built on insanely small margins. So it’s hardly a surprise to learn overnight that Jetstar makes its pittance of a profit not from ticket sales but from the sale of muffins and other “food” on board.
Note the inverted commas around the word food. As American satirist Dave Barry once said: “Airline food is not intended for human consumption. It’s intended as a form of in-flight entertainment, wherein the object is to guess what it is, starting with broad categories such as ‘mineral’ and ‘linoleum’.”
Overpriced food aside, Australian budget airlines are not all that bad. Sure, Jetstar’s a bit bogan and Virgin Blue’s a bit like a branch of the Church of the Almighty Cult of His Supreme Hipness Richard Branson. But mostly, they’re OK.
Continue reading "Money for muffins and your tix for free" »
Soaring fuel costs are driving airlines to come up with increasingly novel, and amusing, ways of lightening their loads.
There have been reports of the carriers washing their planes more often to reduce drag, cleaning cabins of dropped coins and cutlery, and even pondering the use of thinner paper in their in-flight magazines to drop weight.
But it’s pretty clear they’re ignoring the elephant in the aircraft here: Fat customers.
Continue reading "Frequent fatties should fork out for their flying" »
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dvt says:
I’ve never physically and verbally assaulted a fatty… but I have been assaulted numerous times, when said fatties choose to sit next to me on a train. Of the numerous times this has occurred two time I was squashed so badly for so long, that when it was time for… Read more »
An upstart Thai airline recently revealed that it had begun hiring “third sex” staff. By third sex, the airline means trannies. Pre-op, post-op, they don’t appear all that fussed; apparently they’re an inconclusive mob over there at PC Air.
A win for the rights of transgender and transsexual people the world over? Hmm. I’m 30. Not so young, but certainly so, so cynical.
I’m guessing that the airline name comes from the initials of the founder, Peter Chan, although in the West, PC has connotations centred on computers. And politics. The later, no doubt, underpins the temptation to rejoice.
Continue reading "The mile high club just got a whole lot weirder" »
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MK says:
Better a young happyy steward, tahn a grumpy old one, if niether of them provide good service, But more than often the virgin airlines do provide goodservice, I have had some qantas female stewards who may have been very exeperienced in this service industry but would have had no clue… Read more »
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Mike Ceighton says:
Erickk just get over it. You are a WASP. WASPs whinge about anything non-WASPish. They always have. We know that.. Stop boring us with this endless griping and self-obsession. Read more »
The key take out that everyone in Australia got from the recent Qantas incident in Singapore is that pilot experience is critically important.
As more and more information filters about just how serious the situation was with QF32, pilot training and experience are being widely acknowledged, from the CEO of Qantas down, as having arguably made the difference.
Given the travails of Qantas over recent weeks, you would think that Jetstar would think twice about its absurd plans to put less and less experienced pilots in the cockpit of its aircraft.
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sarah says:
And sooooo unsafe! They already have the cabin crew from cheaper countries with training that is not up to scratch. I know someone who works for Jetstar and if there is a “medical” onboard, the foreign crew go get an Aussie to deal with it cause they dont know what… Read more »
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Meh says:
Better still, why not outsource Jetstar management to the Thai and Singapore based crews? They all hold at least one (in many cases multiple) degree, speak several languages and are happy to work the 17+ hour days that JQ management require them to do for under $700 per month. That’ll… Read more »
No one ever said it was easy being a multi-billion dollar airline provider.
The rise of low-cost airlines has lead to the cost of airfare plummeting as competition becomes fierce – prices become transparent, comparisons are easier, fuel costs are up, and airlines have been cutting as much cost as possible in order to both make trafficking people cheaper, and keeping ahead of the competitor by offering the cheapest prices.
I still fondly remember my first flight, where at the tender age of fifteen, I was on a plane from Sydney to the Gold Coast with a complimentary muffin and watching episodes of Mr.Bean on the screens. Those days are long gone.
1. Everything is now an optional extra:
Continue reading "With airline travel like this, I’d rather swim" »
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Andrew says:
Planes don’t wait for no shows. If they did, we would never get anywhere. They ‘wait’ while they offload checked bags, or occasionally for connections, but if you check in and don’t turn up, too bad. Saddle seats look fine to me if it saves a few bucks. I stand… Read more »
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Amy says:
As an unfortunate person of average height with awkwardly long legs, planes infuriate me. I always get the douche in front who puts their seat back for no reason on a mid day flight. This bothers me more than the fatty in the next seat, because I’m sure the poor… Read more »
Next year, airlines plan to charge passengers to breathe.
It will be 36c for a short, sharp breath – the type taken by those who fear flying – and 54c per deep inhalation, for those who excise that fear through meditation.
All that oxygen pumped into the cabin costs money. And the less you breathe, the less it costs cash-strapped airlines – many of which are on the brink of bankruptcy.
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Schip(ol)head says:
Really sad that you are forced to work there against your will too, Stephen. It must be awful not being able to look for another job, apply to employment websites, etc. Not sure how you get the ugly face of capitalism, when BAC are doing crazy things like building stuff… Read more »
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stephen says:
Work at Airport, not for them. Trains, nor Airtrain. Have a think about it. (And i don’t mind talkin’ ter low IQ’s, but only on your time bro’, not mine.) Read more »
What is it about air travel that evokes in people such morbid fascination?
In his recent essay, A Week at the Airport, philosopher Alain de Botton reckoned that, basically, we’re all both petrified of, and obsessed by, air travel because our various religions have successfully instilled in us a prevailing awe of the skies, of the heavens and of whatever else goes on above the clouds:
“Despite its seeming mundanity, the ritual of flying remains indelibly linked, even in secular times, to the momentous themes of existence. We have heard about too many ascensions, too many voices from heaven, too many airborne angels and saints to ever be able to regard the business of flight from an entirely pedestrian perspective, as we might, say, the act of travelling by train.”
Continue reading "Terror in the skies: it’s a Judeo-Christian hang up" »
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J-boy says:
Dan, the “stories” are similar, but the lessons learned from them and the concepts of Divinty are quite different in each. Read more »
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Dan says:
Just to go a little off topic here but Judeo-Christian-Islam faiths are actually quite similar , many “bible” stories can be found in any of these faiths Read more »
Next week I’m headed to Japan for a two week break. I tell you this not because I think you have any particular interest in my holiday plans, but because I suspect I’m flying on the same Jetstar plane that had a blackout on the way back from Japan a couple of weeks ago.
For those who haven’t heard this story, the Herald-Sun reported today that a Jetstar plane had an instrument blackout during flight from Japan to the Gold Coast last week as it flew through storm clouds. The problems that affected the airspeed indicators on the Jestar Airbus 330-200 were similar to those reported by the Air France pilot of a similar 330-200 before the plane crashed into the Atlantic Ocean killing all on board.
No sooner had I finished reading this story with a mix of novelty (hey that’s my flight) and horror (oh my God that’s my flight) did I read about the stuff up on a Melbourne to Sydney QANTAS flight.
Continue reading "I’d rather wear the brown undies than the black box" »
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Nick Dalton says:
I had my Jetstar flight from the Gold Coast to Narita cancelled because of “issues” with the electrical equipment. End up on a flight from Brisbane to Cairns then Cains to Narita. It was totally worth it though, Japan is amazing. Enjoy your trip. I highly suggest Kyoto! Read more »
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Old Bert says:
Leo, I’m afraid you’ll have to take your chances on this trip, but don’t worry too much if you hear the pilot say, “ladies and gentlemen, if this is your first filght, welcome aboard, it’s mine too”. Read more »
Virgin Blue has posted a $ 160m loss. I should feel sorry for Dicky Branson. But instead I just want to slap him around a bit and say “boo hoo”.
Here’s the scenario.
I’m sitting at Sydney airport experiencing two emotions that are gratingly familiar – outraged and helpless. My flight (do I really have to add “as usual”?) has been delayed. First by 10 minutes, then by another five, then by an extra 20. That’s the official line, but there’s no sense we’ll be heading skyward any time soon.
Continue reading "Your complaint is important to us and is in a queue" »
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H of SA says:
Here’s a tip Annie, if you want good airline service….stop paying for the cheapie airlines. . Ever heard that old saying: We have 3 kinds of service: Good, Cheap and Fast Good Serivce is not Cheap Cheap Service is not Good Fast Service is not Cheap Fast Service Cheap is… Read more »
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Velocity Sucks says:
I tried to complain after the whole Gold Status debacle. Five weeks and no response - despite getting an email saying they’d be back to me in two days. I kept chasing. They’d promise to get back to me - lied over and over. I finally had it and started… Read more »
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