http://www.thepunch.com.au/tags/tiger-woods/ Politics, political opinion, world news, sports news and the latest news and views updated live, daily on The Punch - Australia's best conversation. en Copyright 2012 The Punch penberthyd@newsltd.com.au penberthyd@newsltd.com.au Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:40 +0000 Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:40 +0000 Politics, opinion, world news, sports news, latest news, views, Barack Obama, Kevin Rudd, Julia Gillard, Nathan Rees, Malcolm Turnbull, Peter Garrett, Barnaby Joyce, Australian, federal politics, opinion polls, election, The Punch, thepunch, punch ExpressionEngine 1.6.7 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss 15 http://www.thepunch.com.au/images/punch-logo-rss.png http://www.thepunch.com.au/ 144 70 Politics, political opinion, world news, sports news and the latest news and views updated live, daily on The Punch - Australia's best conversation. Search The Punch keywords http://www.thepunch.com.au/search/ http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Why-sports-fans-cant-help-rooting-for-Tiger-Woods/ Most sports fans I know couldn’t give a stuff if Tiger Woods had sex with half the cocktail waitresses in America. We’ll still be cheering for him when he tees off as favourite in the Masters in Augusta, Georgia this week. As Wimbledon is to tennis, so is the Masters to golf. It’s the one event every player wants to win, and the event which every fan wants their favourite player to win. And sex scandal or no sex scandal, Tiger Woods is still most people’s favourite player. Tiger has won the Masters four times, the last time in 2005. He doesn’t need any more ceremonial winner’s green jackets. Nor does he, as sport’s first billionaire, need the $1.5 winner’s prizemoney, even if he’s worth a little less these days after his acrimonious split with ex-wife Elin Nordegren. penberthyd@newsltd.com.au (David Penberthy) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Why-sports-fans-cant-help-rooting-for-Tiger-Woods/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Why-sports-fans-cant-help-rooting-for-Tiger-Woods/#item8149 Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:40 +0000 Tiger Woods is one contradictory cat. There’s a human being inside that shell, a living, breathing, joke-cracking, thoughtful guy with all kinds of normal human feelings. But there’s also a mercenary. A man who this week privately played golf with anonymous Chinese millionaires for huge sums of money. A golfing enthusiast who will rave about Australia’s world class golf courses, and how he wishes America had more courses like ours, then greedily pocket three million for the privilege of playing here. But if you think Tiger is ruthless in the way he subjugates all dignity in his endless quest to accumulate money, that’s nothing on the way he suppresses his own emotions. At his Tuesday media call at The Lakes Golf Club, which The Punch attended, he didn’t once acknowledge the effect his marital break-up and sex scandal had on his golf game. http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/washed-up-champs-who-dont-know-when-to-quit/ Tiger Woods is one contradictory cat. There’s a human being inside that shell, a living, breathing, joke-cracking, thoughtful guy with all kinds of normal human feelings. But there’s also a mercenary. A man who this week privately played golf with anonymous Chinese millionaires for huge sums of money. A golfing enthusiast who will rave about Australia’s world class golf courses, and how he wishes America had more courses like ours, then greedily pocket three million for the privilege of playing here. But if you think Tiger is ruthless in the way he subjugates all dignity in his endless quest to accumulate money, that’s nothing on the way he suppresses his own emotions. At his Tuesday media call at The Lakes Golf Club, which The Punch attended, he didn’t once acknowledge the effect his marital break-up and sex scandal had on his golf game. penberthyd@newsltd.com.au (David Penberthy) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/washed-up-champs-who-dont-know-when-to-quit/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/washed-up-champs-who-dont-know-when-to-quit/#item7114 Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:40 +0000 Tiger Woods is one contradictory cat. There’s a human being inside that shell, a living, breathing, joke-cracking, thoughtful guy with all kinds of normal human feelings. But there’s also a mercenary. A man who this week privately played golf with anonymous Chinese millionaires for huge sums of money. A golfing enthusiast who will rave about Australia’s world class golf courses, and how he wishes America had more courses like ours, then greedily pocket three million for the privilege of playing here. But if you think Tiger is ruthless in the way he subjugates all dignity in his endless quest to accumulate money, that’s nothing on the way he suppresses his own emotions. At his Tuesday media call at The Lakes Golf Club, which The Punch attended, he didn’t once acknowledge the effect his marital break-up and sex scandal had on his golf game. http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/this-white-arsehole-should-be-blasted-out-of-his-bunker/ The first rule of calling a black arsehole a black arsehole is that only another black arsehole can call a black arsehole a black arsehole. The second rule of calling a black arsehole a black arsehole is that if a white arsehole calls a black arsehole a black arsehole, that white arsehole should be kicked very hard in exactly that location. In short, Steve Williams, the glorified bouncer who carries other people’s sporting equipment for a living, should be bounced from the golf course for good for his comments about his former boss Tiger Woods in Shanghai last week. penberthyd@newsltd.com.au (David Penberthy) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/this-white-arsehole-should-be-blasted-out-of-his-bunker/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/this-white-arsehole-should-be-blasted-out-of-his-bunker/#item7088 Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:40 +0000 Tiger Woods is one contradictory cat. There’s a human being inside that shell, a living, breathing, joke-cracking, thoughtful guy with all kinds of normal human feelings. But there’s also a mercenary. A man who this week privately played golf with anonymous Chinese millionaires for huge sums of money. A golfing enthusiast who will rave about Australia’s world class golf courses, and how he wishes America had more courses like ours, then greedily pocket three million for the privilege of playing here. But if you think Tiger is ruthless in the way he subjugates all dignity in his endless quest to accumulate money, that’s nothing on the way he suppresses his own emotions. At his Tuesday media call at The Lakes Golf Club, which The Punch attended, he didn’t once acknowledge the effect his marital break-up and sex scandal had on his golf game. http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/hush-your-apologies-you-celebrity/ Last week, Madonna earned the ire of florists everywhere when she revealed her contempt for hydrangeas. After receiving a bunch of the popular flowers from a fan at a press conference, cameras caught the Material Girl chucking them aside and whispering: “I loathe hydrangeas”. Pre-empting the inevitable online rage, Madonna uploaded a video “apology”, which saw her gently caressing a forlorn arrangement of the purple flowers. penberthyd@newsltd.com.au (David Penberthy) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/hush-your-apologies-you-celebrity/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/hush-your-apologies-you-celebrity/#item6715 Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:40 +0000 Tiger Woods is one contradictory cat. There’s a human being inside that shell, a living, breathing, joke-cracking, thoughtful guy with all kinds of normal human feelings. But there’s also a mercenary. A man who this week privately played golf with anonymous Chinese millionaires for huge sums of money. A golfing enthusiast who will rave about Australia’s world class golf courses, and how he wishes America had more courses like ours, then greedily pocket three million for the privilege of playing here. But if you think Tiger is ruthless in the way he subjugates all dignity in his endless quest to accumulate money, that’s nothing on the way he suppresses his own emotions. At his Tuesday media call at The Lakes Golf Club, which The Punch attended, he didn’t once acknowledge the effect his marital break-up and sex scandal had on his golf game. http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Tiger-gets-bitch-slapped-on-the-18th-hole/ Remember Tiger’s wife brandishing a 9-iron as she chased him down the street like a madwoman? Well, he’s just been clobbered again, only this time the aggressor was his former caddie Steve Williams, whose weapon of choice was words. A lot of people don’t care for golf, and fair enough. They’re just not interested in grown men in silly clothes with an unnatural obsession with balls and holes. Read into that line what you will. But what happened on the golf course this weekend was so much more than mere golf. This was cold revenge. This was Robin teaching Batman about crime fighting and going home with Batwoman to boot. Here’s what went down… penberthyd@newsltd.com.au (David Penberthy) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Tiger-gets-bitch-slapped-on-the-18th-hole/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Tiger-gets-bitch-slapped-on-the-18th-hole/#item6455 Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:40 +0000 Tiger Woods is one contradictory cat. There’s a human being inside that shell, a living, breathing, joke-cracking, thoughtful guy with all kinds of normal human feelings. But there’s also a mercenary. A man who this week privately played golf with anonymous Chinese millionaires for huge sums of money. A golfing enthusiast who will rave about Australia’s world class golf courses, and how he wishes America had more courses like ours, then greedily pocket three million for the privilege of playing here. But if you think Tiger is ruthless in the way he subjugates all dignity in his endless quest to accumulate money, that’s nothing on the way he suppresses his own emotions. At his Tuesday media call at The Lakes Golf Club, which The Punch attended, he didn’t once acknowledge the effect his marital break-up and sex scandal had on his golf game. http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/why-sports-fans-are-slaves-to-the-masters/ Look at the embedded video below. Not a leaf out of place. Not an errant grain of sand in the perfectly tended bunkers. Not a single majestic magnolia daring to burst forth in anything but full bloom. And classical music. Always with the classical music. Who knew Yo-Yo Ma was a golf fan? Now, if you can bear it, take a quick squizz at the Masters theme song video. It’s basically more of the same. One of the commenters on YouTube says it’s the music they want at their wedding. Music for a funeral, more like. Held in America’s Deep South in Augusta, Georgia each April, the Masters is the world’s most prestigious golf tournament. I’ve never been, but from where I sit, it has always looked like a good excuse for crusty old men to get bleary-eyed about the good old days, when lawns were always neatly cut, walls were not grafittied and everyone had three or four of those nice helpful slaves to help pick the cotton. penberthyd@newsltd.com.au (David Penberthy) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/why-sports-fans-are-slaves-to-the-masters/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/why-sports-fans-are-slaves-to-the-masters/#item5583 Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:40 +0000 Tiger Woods is one contradictory cat. There’s a human being inside that shell, a living, breathing, joke-cracking, thoughtful guy with all kinds of normal human feelings. But there’s also a mercenary. A man who this week privately played golf with anonymous Chinese millionaires for huge sums of money. A golfing enthusiast who will rave about Australia’s world class golf courses, and how he wishes America had more courses like ours, then greedily pocket three million for the privilege of playing here. But if you think Tiger is ruthless in the way he subjugates all dignity in his endless quest to accumulate money, that’s nothing on the way he suppresses his own emotions. At his Tuesday media call at The Lakes Golf Club, which The Punch attended, he didn’t once acknowledge the effect his marital break-up and sex scandal had on his golf game. http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/sex-when-too-much-is-barely-enough/ I love hot chips. I can’t get enough. Sometimes I’m thinking about hot chips when I should be thinking about work. Sometimes I hide them so no one will know. I think I have a hot chip addiction. Addictions are, apparently, the disorders du jour. And sex addiction is the latest hot item. Psychologists are warning that since Tiger Woods checked into a posh sex-addict clinic last year, the number of people coming clean with their addiction has surged. So they’re turning up in their millions (seriously) to programs like Sex Addicts Anonymous. Which may sound like the most awesome pick-up joint you ever went to, but is in fact quite serious. penberthyd@newsltd.com.au (David Penberthy) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/sex-when-too-much-is-barely-enough/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/sex-when-too-much-is-barely-enough/#item5283 Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:40 +0000 Tiger Woods is one contradictory cat. There’s a human being inside that shell, a living, breathing, joke-cracking, thoughtful guy with all kinds of normal human feelings. But there’s also a mercenary. A man who this week privately played golf with anonymous Chinese millionaires for huge sums of money. A golfing enthusiast who will rave about Australia’s world class golf courses, and how he wishes America had more courses like ours, then greedily pocket three million for the privilege of playing here. But if you think Tiger is ruthless in the way he subjugates all dignity in his endless quest to accumulate money, that’s nothing on the way he suppresses his own emotions. At his Tuesday media call at The Lakes Golf Club, which The Punch attended, he didn’t once acknowledge the effect his marital break-up and sex scandal had on his golf game. http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/ten-exciting-things-about-melbourne-apart-from-tiger/ When Tiger played the Australian Masters last year, he was the only story in town. His every move was scrutinised and we tripped over each other to ask him really, really dumb questions. This year, meh. Tiger’s playing golf somewhere, pass the pretzels. But for those of you experiencing a major letdown at the lack of buzz over Tiger, worry not! Melbourne is world-renowned as a fabulously exciting city, especially in Melbourne itself. There really are so much attractions that don’t involve chasing around the world’s most famous philanderer and occasional golfer. Like these things! Giant balls of string OK, so the Chaser made this joke before I did. But that giant ball of string is out there somewhere, I’m sure. And just wait’ll this big cat finds it… penberthyd@newsltd.com.au (David Penberthy) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/ten-exciting-things-about-melbourne-apart-from-tiger/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/ten-exciting-things-about-melbourne-apart-from-tiger/#item4448 Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:40 +0000 Tiger Woods is one contradictory cat. There’s a human being inside that shell, a living, breathing, joke-cracking, thoughtful guy with all kinds of normal human feelings. But there’s also a mercenary. A man who this week privately played golf with anonymous Chinese millionaires for huge sums of money. A golfing enthusiast who will rave about Australia’s world class golf courses, and how he wishes America had more courses like ours, then greedily pocket three million for the privilege of playing here. But if you think Tiger is ruthless in the way he subjugates all dignity in his endless quest to accumulate money, that’s nothing on the way he suppresses his own emotions. At his Tuesday media call at The Lakes Golf Club, which The Punch attended, he didn’t once acknowledge the effect his marital break-up and sex scandal had on his golf game. http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/elin-nordegren-is-stronger-on-her-own/ Few of us will ever know how it feels to be as wealthy or perhaps as drop-dead gorgeous as Elin Nodergren, but plenty of people following the Tiger Woods saga will understand how it feels to be betrayed by someone you love.  In her first and only interview with US People magazine this week, Nordergen admitted to have been completely “blindsided” by Tiger’s actions, that their marriage for her was a “real one” and that she had never doubted Woods for a second. “For the last three-and-a-half years, when all this was going on, I was home a lot more with pregnancies, then the children and my school.  “I was blindsided…I felt stupid and embarrassed,” she said of her reactions to the seemingly unending revelations of Tiger’s infidelities. penberthyd@newsltd.com.au (David Penberthy) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/elin-nordegren-is-stronger-on-her-own/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/elin-nordegren-is-stronger-on-her-own/#item3906 Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:40 +0000 Tiger Woods is one contradictory cat. There’s a human being inside that shell, a living, breathing, joke-cracking, thoughtful guy with all kinds of normal human feelings. But there’s also a mercenary. A man who this week privately played golf with anonymous Chinese millionaires for huge sums of money. A golfing enthusiast who will rave about Australia’s world class golf courses, and how he wishes America had more courses like ours, then greedily pocket three million for the privilege of playing here. But if you think Tiger is ruthless in the way he subjugates all dignity in his endless quest to accumulate money, that’s nothing on the way he suppresses his own emotions. At his Tuesday media call at The Lakes Golf Club, which The Punch attended, he didn’t once acknowledge the effect his marital break-up and sex scandal had on his golf game. http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Marketing-advice-for-Nike-Just-dont-do-it/ So Tiger Woods didn’t win the Masters Tournament over the weekend. Probably for the best really, otherwise, just as in Nike’s most recent ad, his father might have emerged from the grave and told us that ‘equal fourth place is as good as last place, son’. Nike’s recent marketing stunt shows Woods staring silently and somberly at the camera, as his late father Earl speaks to him in voiceover:  “Tiger, I am more prone to be inquisitive, to promote discussion. I want to find out what your thinking was; I want to find out what your feelings are. Did you learn anything?” And for those that missed it the quote was pieced together from interviews his father had given prior to his death. penberthyd@newsltd.com.au (David Penberthy) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Marketing-advice-for-Nike-Just-dont-do-it/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Marketing-advice-for-Nike-Just-dont-do-it/#item2825 Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:40 +0000 Tiger Woods is one contradictory cat. There’s a human being inside that shell, a living, breathing, joke-cracking, thoughtful guy with all kinds of normal human feelings. But there’s also a mercenary. A man who this week privately played golf with anonymous Chinese millionaires for huge sums of money. A golfing enthusiast who will rave about Australia’s world class golf courses, and how he wishes America had more courses like ours, then greedily pocket three million for the privilege of playing here. But if you think Tiger is ruthless in the way he subjugates all dignity in his endless quest to accumulate money, that’s nothing on the way he suppresses his own emotions. At his Tuesday media call at The Lakes Golf Club, which The Punch attended, he didn’t once acknowledge the effect his marital break-up and sex scandal had on his golf game.