http://www.thepunch.com.au/tags/summer/ Politics, political opinion, world news, sports news and the latest news and views updated live, daily on The Punch - Australia's best conversation. en Copyright 2012 The Punch penberthyd@newsltd.com.au penberthyd@newsltd.com.au Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:40 +0000 Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:40 +0000 Politics, opinion, world news, sports news, latest news, views, Barack Obama, Kevin Rudd, Julia Gillard, Nathan Rees, Malcolm Turnbull, Peter Garrett, Barnaby Joyce, Australian, federal politics, opinion polls, election, The Punch, thepunch, punch ExpressionEngine 1.6.7 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss 15 http://www.thepunch.com.au/images/punch-logo-rss.png http://www.thepunch.com.au/ 144 70 Politics, political opinion, world news, sports news and the latest news and views updated live, daily on The Punch - Australia's best conversation. Search The Punch keywords http://www.thepunch.com.au/search/ http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/bad-family-summer-holidays-prep-you-for-the-real-world/ Every January, my sisters and I would be forced into a stinking hot car that, according to Mum, Dad had forgotten to service, and we’d argue our way to a camping ground. There we would argue some more and shower in a communal block where everyone wore thongs, so as to avoid that classic ‘70s foot disease, tinea. As Dad’s “short cuts” meant that the trip had taken us around the same amount of time as flying to Russia, we would have had precisely one day to “relax”. Or as an adult might put it: “Shut up, you’re on holidays and you’ll bloody well enjoy yourself.” On the way home we’d be treated to a night at a motel called something enticingly foreign like La Stupenda. If the health inspectors hadn’t been tipped off, we would race each other to dive into the filthy swimming pool which bore no resemblance to the aquatic wonderland featured on La Stupenda’s brochure (“Come and enjoy our range of superior European-style facilities with a Hawaiian feel.”) penberthyd@newsltd.com.au (David Penberthy) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/bad-family-summer-holidays-prep-you-for-the-real-world/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/bad-family-summer-holidays-prep-you-for-the-real-world/#item7465 Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:40 +0000 Just an hour away from Sydney by train, 45 minutes by car and a constant 18,000 kilometres from fashion is the seaside sprawl of Ettalong Beach. If you alight from nearby Woy Woy station, on a lucky day you can be welcomed upon arrival by the traditional overheard greeting phrase “give us back me smokes, ya sl_t”.  Then just pop yourself onto Blackwall Road, trot past the drive-through KFC, continue past the picturesque smash repair and bait shops, and you’re just about there. http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/coastal-holidays-of-your-dreams-ettalong-beach/ Just an hour away from Sydney by train, 45 minutes by car and a constant 18,000 kilometres from fashion is the seaside sprawl of Ettalong Beach. If you alight from nearby Woy Woy station, on a lucky day you can be welcomed upon arrival by the traditional overheard greeting phrase “give us back me smokes, ya sl_t”.  Then just pop yourself onto Blackwall Road, trot past the drive-through KFC, continue past the picturesque smash repair and bait shops, and you’re just about there. penberthyd@newsltd.com.au (David Penberthy) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/coastal-holidays-of-your-dreams-ettalong-beach/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/coastal-holidays-of-your-dreams-ettalong-beach/#item7363 Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:40 +0000 Just an hour away from Sydney by train, 45 minutes by car and a constant 18,000 kilometres from fashion is the seaside sprawl of Ettalong Beach. If you alight from nearby Woy Woy station, on a lucky day you can be welcomed upon arrival by the traditional overheard greeting phrase “give us back me smokes, ya sl_t”.  Then just pop yourself onto Blackwall Road, trot past the drive-through KFC, continue past the picturesque smash repair and bait shops, and you’re just about there. http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/coastal-holidays-of-your-dreams-blairgowrie/ When you think of the perfect place to take a relaxing sea-side holiday, I think it would be fair to say that the first place that comes to mind is rarely Blairgowrie, Victoria. With its scenic Post Office (opened in 1947), wheelchair accessible public toilet (open 24 hours) and its exceptionally high blowfly-to-person ratio (no stats available), Blairgowrie is not far from Rosebud. Known for being the death-place of Nobel Prize winner Rhys Isaac, Blairgowrie is also close to Sorrento. In the heart of Victoria’s “Budget Coast” section of the Mornington Peninsula, Blairgowrie is just 87 km from cosmopolitan Melbourne on what may be the longest stretch of foreshore caravan parks in the world (no stats available). There are more caravans camped on the not-really-very-scenic foreshore here than there are caravans in the rest of the world (maybe). penberthyd@newsltd.com.au (David Penberthy) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/coastal-holidays-of-your-dreams-blairgowrie/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/coastal-holidays-of-your-dreams-blairgowrie/#item7364 Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:40 +0000 Just an hour away from Sydney by train, 45 minutes by car and a constant 18,000 kilometres from fashion is the seaside sprawl of Ettalong Beach. If you alight from nearby Woy Woy station, on a lucky day you can be welcomed upon arrival by the traditional overheard greeting phrase “give us back me smokes, ya sl_t”.  Then just pop yourself onto Blackwall Road, trot past the drive-through KFC, continue past the picturesque smash repair and bait shops, and you’re just about there. http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/an-ode-to-watermelon/ Seedless watermelon is great. You’ve taken the bad element of the watermelon out - but can someone please explain why we can’t take the bad things out of everything? For example, social engagements without the small talk. Or Katherine Heigl movies without Katherine Heigl. If they could take the seed out of men, I’d probably indulge in a lot more of them too. Visiting my local supermarket this morning, I noted that watermelon is currently on special, so if you happen to be out of town, you have chosen the wrong time of the year to be away, my friend. penberthyd@newsltd.com.au (David Penberthy) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/an-ode-to-watermelon/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/an-ode-to-watermelon/#item7310 Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:40 +0000 Just an hour away from Sydney by train, 45 minutes by car and a constant 18,000 kilometres from fashion is the seaside sprawl of Ettalong Beach. If you alight from nearby Woy Woy station, on a lucky day you can be welcomed upon arrival by the traditional overheard greeting phrase “give us back me smokes, ya sl_t”.  Then just pop yourself onto Blackwall Road, trot past the drive-through KFC, continue past the picturesque smash repair and bait shops, and you’re just about there. http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/the-definitive-summer-reading-guide-for-our-pollies/ With Parliament over for the year and Christmas just around the corner, our politicians will be looking forward to a well-earned rest. So what will they be reading over the summer break? Usually they tell us they’re tucking into long, complex works by Tolstoy or Dostoevsky or biographies about obscure and impressive sounding military strategists from ancient Rome. Of course that’s rubbish. Luckily, someone in Kevin Rudd’s office has leaked the entire list of what our leaders will really be reading this summer. Some of the highlights are reproduced below. penberthyd@newsltd.com.au (David Penberthy) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/the-definitive-summer-reading-guide-for-our-pollies/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/the-definitive-summer-reading-guide-for-our-pollies/#item7371 Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:40 +0000 Just an hour away from Sydney by train, 45 minutes by car and a constant 18,000 kilometres from fashion is the seaside sprawl of Ettalong Beach. If you alight from nearby Woy Woy station, on a lucky day you can be welcomed upon arrival by the traditional overheard greeting phrase “give us back me smokes, ya sl_t”.  Then just pop yourself onto Blackwall Road, trot past the drive-through KFC, continue past the picturesque smash repair and bait shops, and you’re just about there. http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/the-great-harvest-line-up-and-we-dont-mean-the-music/ Dear Harvest Festival, You have no idea how excited we were about you. What music fan wouldn’t be excited about a brand new musical festival, in the backyard of the Werribee mansion, with some of the best bands of the last 20 years? For weeks everyone was talking about your line up, but by the end of the night the only thing anyone was talking about was lining up. We should have seen the warning signs early on, when one of our friends headed off to buy everyone a beer and then didn’t come back for two hours. It took her an hour to get the tokens to buy the beer the beer and then another hour to exchange the tickets for the actual drinks. Seriously, the Gillard government could not have created a system this bad.  Obviously queues are a part of any public event, but your queues were not normal. All across Werribee Park, lines of people stretched out longer than a Led Zeppelin guitar solo. At one stage the crowd outside the bar was bigger than the entire crowd waiting to watch Mogwai, who were one of the headline acts. penberthyd@newsltd.com.au (David Penberthy) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/the-great-harvest-line-up-and-we-dont-mean-the-music/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/the-great-harvest-line-up-and-we-dont-mean-the-music/#item7154 Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:40 +0000 Just an hour away from Sydney by train, 45 minutes by car and a constant 18,000 kilometres from fashion is the seaside sprawl of Ettalong Beach. If you alight from nearby Woy Woy station, on a lucky day you can be welcomed upon arrival by the traditional overheard greeting phrase “give us back me smokes, ya sl_t”.  Then just pop yourself onto Blackwall Road, trot past the drive-through KFC, continue past the picturesque smash repair and bait shops, and you’re just about there. http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Bikini-rules-for-any-old-bum/ Wearing a bikini turns me into a woman I don’t want to be: neurotic, angsty and hyper-pervy of every female in sight. I’m a shocker at ‘compare and despair’, so all those holidays when I should be enjoying a good book or contemplating a surf are, instead, spent in a ridiculous silent dialogue with myself: “Are they looking at my thighs? She’s game to go the white; What’s that Miranda Kerr lookalike doing in Bermagui? Sod off back to Mauritius! Who’d have thought four triangles of Lycra could turn me into such a cow?” penberthyd@newsltd.com.au (David Penberthy) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Bikini-rules-for-any-old-bum/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Bikini-rules-for-any-old-bum/#item7075 Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:40 +0000 Just an hour away from Sydney by train, 45 minutes by car and a constant 18,000 kilometres from fashion is the seaside sprawl of Ettalong Beach. If you alight from nearby Woy Woy station, on a lucky day you can be welcomed upon arrival by the traditional overheard greeting phrase “give us back me smokes, ya sl_t”.  Then just pop yourself onto Blackwall Road, trot past the drive-through KFC, continue past the picturesque smash repair and bait shops, and you’re just about there. http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/sing-a-long-sex-talking-dirty-on-itunes/ I was browsing iTunes this week, searching for distractions to avoid whatever I was actually supposed to be doing, when something caught my eye and revealed I had apparently grown old overnight. It was the music charts, featuring sex. And lots of it.  At 1—“Dirty Talk” (Wynter Gordon),  At 3—“S&M” (Rihanna), At 9—“Tonight (I’m F****n’ You)” (Enrique Iglesias, clearly reluctant to beat around the bush). penberthyd@newsltd.com.au (David Penberthy) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/sing-a-long-sex-talking-dirty-on-itunes/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/sing-a-long-sex-talking-dirty-on-itunes/#item4952 Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:40 +0000 Just an hour away from Sydney by train, 45 minutes by car and a constant 18,000 kilometres from fashion is the seaside sprawl of Ettalong Beach. If you alight from nearby Woy Woy station, on a lucky day you can be welcomed upon arrival by the traditional overheard greeting phrase “give us back me smokes, ya sl_t”.  Then just pop yourself onto Blackwall Road, trot past the drive-through KFC, continue past the picturesque smash repair and bait shops, and you’re just about there. http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/ten-unveils-gun-young-cub-reporter-georgie-boy-negus/ Channel 10 has launched its bold bid for an older, smarter, bigger-spending demographic by unveiling a young cub reporter, George Negus, who looks to have a real future in journalism. Negus is said to be 68 and a veteran of Australian TV news and current affairs, but he cannot possibly be, as no one over the age of 30 has ever willingly worn an item of leather neck jewellery like the one above. George Negus – if indeed that is the youthful cub’s real name – is the anchor of the new show, 6pm With George Negus. You can tell he’s the anchor because he helpfully did a publicity shot wearing what looks like a mock military shirt with an anchor motif (see below). penberthyd@newsltd.com.au (David Penberthy) Behind the picture http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/ten-unveils-gun-young-cub-reporter-georgie-boy-negus/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/ten-unveils-gun-young-cub-reporter-georgie-boy-negus/#item4965 Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:40 +0000 Just an hour away from Sydney by train, 45 minutes by car and a constant 18,000 kilometres from fashion is the seaside sprawl of Ettalong Beach. If you alight from nearby Woy Woy station, on a lucky day you can be welcomed upon arrival by the traditional overheard greeting phrase “give us back me smokes, ya sl_t”.  Then just pop yourself onto Blackwall Road, trot past the drive-through KFC, continue past the picturesque smash repair and bait shops, and you’re just about there. http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/stosur-come-on/ Australian tennis is suffering a bad dose of the doldrums. After Lleyton Hewitt crashed out of the Australian Open on Tuesday night, it appeared the Aussies would fall over like flies. But as we despaired over our poor form in recent Grand Slams, Bernard Tomic and Sam Stosur gave Australian tennis an almighty shot in the arm and boosted the Melbourne Park crowd. It now has something decent to cheer about. Tomic, who snuck into the Australian Open draw with a lucky wildcard, will turn heads when he takes on world No. 1 Rafael Nadal in the third round. penberthyd@newsltd.com.au (David Penberthy) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/stosur-come-on/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/stosur-come-on/#item4953 Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:40 +0000 Just an hour away from Sydney by train, 45 minutes by car and a constant 18,000 kilometres from fashion is the seaside sprawl of Ettalong Beach. If you alight from nearby Woy Woy station, on a lucky day you can be welcomed upon arrival by the traditional overheard greeting phrase “give us back me smokes, ya sl_t”.  Then just pop yourself onto Blackwall Road, trot past the drive-through KFC, continue past the picturesque smash repair and bait shops, and you’re just about there.