http://www.thepunch.com.au/author-bios/steve-williams/ Steve Williams was born in the shadow of the Big Merino, a rather attractive concrete likeness of a sheep in Goulburn N.S.W. He wrote his first satirical piece when he was nine, commenting on the unique playing styles and exotic fashions of his mother’s ladies midweek tennis club.  Steve’s done a few laps of the media block over 25 years, working in print, radio, TV, PR and the music business, but his biggest claim to fame is holding the record for pushing the highest number of shopping trolleys while working as a part-time “trolley boy” at Coles in 1979. Steve contributes words and images including features, travel stories and columns to international magazines, newspapers and websites. If nothing else, he’s a versatile bastard. Visit his website at http://www.randomswill.com en Copyright 2013 The Punch penberthyd@newsltd.com.au penberthyd@newsltd.com.au Thu, 14 Mar 2013 19:00:10 +0000 Thu, 14 Mar 2013 19:00:10 +0000 Politics, opinion, world news, sports news, latest news, views, Barack Obama, Kevin Rudd, Julia Gillard, Nathan Rees, Malcolm Turnbull, Peter Garrett, Barnaby Joyce, Australian, federal politics, opinion polls, election, The Punch, thepunch, punch ExpressionEngine 1.6.7 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss 15 http://www.thepunch.com.au/images/punch-logo-rss.png http://www.thepunch.com.au/ 144 70 Politics, political opinion, world news, sports news and the latest news and views updated live, daily on The Punch - Australia's best conversation. Search The Punch keywords http://www.thepunch.com.au/search/ http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/It-sickens-me-to-think-a-disease-could-bear-my-name/ The chances are fairly slim, but if I were ever to have something named after me, I would prefer a star in a galaxy far, far away — or a postcard-inducing beach — rather than an abscess. I’m sure Sir Benjamin Collins Brodie was a rather pleasant chap who liked patting puppies and drawing unicorns — and by all reports was an outstanding surgeon and physiologist. However, it is an interesting way to be remembered — some poor bugger’s abscess sticking out of his shin being named after you. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Steve Williams) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/It-sickens-me-to-think-a-disease-could-bear-my-name/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/It-sickens-me-to-think-a-disease-could-bear-my-name/#item10679 Tue, 26 Feb 2013 19:40:32 +0000 Steve Williams | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/screw-you-hugh/ Dear Hugh Jackman, Ok, I get it… you’re an outrageously talented, actor, singer and dancer, Hollywood, Broadway and TV über-star. You’re an incredibly devoted husband to Deborra-Lee and loving father to Oscar and Ava. You’re a generous philanthropist — supporting and raising awareness of numerous charities and community projects. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Steve Williams) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/screw-you-hugh/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/screw-you-hugh/#item10393 Mon, 14 Jan 2013 19:40:37 +0000 Steve Williams | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/for-the-unconverted-why-league-is-bloody-great/ As it’s the clichéd “business end of the season” for the NRL, I’m in a disturbingly reflective mood. Here are a few random snapshot memories of rugby league from when I was a kid… * Running onto the ground as the fulltime siren sounded to try and grab the black and white striped cardboard corner post. I was successful a few times. * Getting splinters in your arse from those wooden seats at Cumberland Oval. The exuberant Eels fans that torched it after the 1981 premiership win did us all a favour. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Steve Williams) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/for-the-unconverted-why-league-is-bloody-great/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/for-the-unconverted-why-league-is-bloody-great/#item9573 Thu, 27 Sep 2012 19:40:12 +0000 Steve Williams | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/holiday-resorts-no-place-for-kids-there-i-said-it/ I don’t hate children. Yes, actually I do, when I’m trying to chill out at an expensive, exclusive resort or equally expensive and exclusive hotel. “Hate” is slightly harsh, maybe “vehemently dislike”. When I’m relaxing by the beach or pool on holiday at a sublime, tropical idyll, is it wrong to be searching my phone for the number of The Pied Piper to lead little (“MUMEEEE DADEEEE WATCH ME!!, WATCH MEEEEEEEE!!”) screaming Trevor into very deep, rip-infused water? feedback@thepunch.com.au (Steve Williams) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/holiday-resorts-no-place-for-kids-there-i-said-it/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/holiday-resorts-no-place-for-kids-there-i-said-it/#item9446 Sun, 23 Sep 2012 19:50:25 +0000 Steve Williams | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/boorish-businessmen-dressed-as-businessmen/ The invasion has been underway for years. The toxic pests have been infiltrating in ever increasing numbers and there seems to be no respite. They are loud, obnoxious and very, very rude travellers and they’re getting worse. Usually, those three adjectives are reserved for Americans — but no, I’m talking about Australian businessmen. I travel around Asia quite extensively and see these guys constantly. Airports, hotels, restaurants, bars, you name it, they are infecting everywhere. A few examples, some of these very important businessmen are unbelievably loud on mobile phones, because everybody in a hotel lounge is totally fascinated and impressed by their riveting, very important business conversations. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Steve Williams) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/boorish-businessmen-dressed-as-businessmen/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/boorish-businessmen-dressed-as-businessmen/#item9237 Tue, 21 Aug 2012 19:50:35 +0000 Steve Williams | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/phones-on-the-throne-really-piss-me-off/ Okay, I realise as far as pressing, first world problems go, this isn’t nudging the top of the charts, but it’s Friday — so bugger it. I am puzzled by many things, but fairly high on the list is why people make/take phone calls while in/on the toilet. Granted it’s probably not the worst sound you could hear emanating from a toilet cubicle, but seriously, why? Do you feel so important sitting on “the throne” that you need to take that call right then and there? Can’t you call them back? feedback@thepunch.com.au (Steve Williams) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/phones-on-the-throne-really-piss-me-off/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/phones-on-the-throne-really-piss-me-off/#item8790 Thu, 21 Jun 2012 19:40:36 +0000 Steve Williams | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/giving-a-game-of-cops-and-robbers-new-consequences/ So it was a fantastic week for guns. Nick D’Arcy and Kenrick Monk had to go the mega mea culpa for momentarily being confused as to which sport they pull on the green and gold tracksuit and Dunlop Volleys for. It was also a great week for parenting combined with guns, and it doesn’t get any better than that. One notable example showed that children are not only our future, but are in very good hands. Ok, one of those hands might be their mum or dad brandishing a semi-automatic pistol, or a pump-action shotgun, but that’s of little consequence. The story of eight-year-old kids having parties at a shooting range copped more of a barrage than a nude guy chomping on a face in Miami. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Steve Williams) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/giving-a-game-of-cops-and-robbers-new-consequences/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/giving-a-game-of-cops-and-robbers-new-consequences/#item8702 Sun, 10 Jun 2012 19:55:36 +0000 Steve Williams | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Is-there-a-nicotine-patch-strong-enough-for-this/ Ok. I am not a leading expert in world’s best practice on prisoner rehabilitation — my experience with the prison system is limited to the weekly goings-on of “Vinegar Tits” and “The Freak”, endless taunts of “Ya fat dyke bitch”, and inmates having various parts of their anatomy rendered wrinkle-free in the laundry steam presses in Prisoner. So when I read that the good guardians of Lithgow jail, sorry, “Correctional Centre” are living up to their name by correcting the habits of their house guests by trialling a ban on smoking in cells and prison buildings, I wondered how the “Top Dog” Queen Bea, Franky, Doreen, Karen, Lynn, et al would have reacted. Um, not well. Especially that chain-smoking Lizzie. The story in the Daily Tele reveals how the ban will allow smoking only in “designated outdoor areas”. That has to be taking the piss doesn’t it? “Sure Trevor, you can still smoke outside. Oh that’s right, you’re locked up for sixteen hours a day”. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Steve Williams) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Is-there-a-nicotine-patch-strong-enough-for-this/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Is-there-a-nicotine-patch-strong-enough-for-this/#item8615 Mon, 28 May 2012 04:00:20 +0000 Steve Williams | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/mobile-phones-in-the-air-is-vergin-on-plane-ridiculous/ Dear Mr. Branson, What have you done? Seriously, what the hell have you done? I admire your stunning business acumen, your ballooning skills, your outrageous PR stunts, I’ve bought many Virgin records over the years – in fact I still have an original vinyl copy of Never Mind The Bollocks, Here’s the Sex Pistols. Love your work. However, what’s this about allowing mobile phone calls on Virgin Atlantic flights? Tell me you’re taking the piss. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Steve Williams) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/mobile-phones-in-the-air-is-vergin-on-plane-ridiculous/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/mobile-phones-in-the-air-is-vergin-on-plane-ridiculous/#item8507 Tue, 15 May 2012 19:35:20 +0000 Steve Williams | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/stop-breastfeeding-im-trying-to-have-lunch/ I can feel the prod of pitchforks, the heat of flaming torches and suction of rampant breast pumps to nether regions already, but here goes. A. I am no prude, and B. I’m not a woman, so C. I’ve never had a baby (Where’s the fetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?”) So obviously therefore, D. I’ve never breastfed. There. A few disclaimers to hopefully delay said prodding, heat and suction. I understand the evolutionary purpose of breasts, that they shouldn’t be sexualized, I get the whole feeding is natural, women shouldn’t be ashamed, blah blah, I get and concur with all of that. What I don’t get and strongly un-concur with is why a woman would choose to graphically breastfeed her baby in a crowded city café at lunchtime (ours as well as the baby’s apparently). feedback@thepunch.com.au (Steve Williams) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/stop-breastfeeding-im-trying-to-have-lunch/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/stop-breastfeeding-im-trying-to-have-lunch/#item7938 Tue, 06 Mar 2012 20:00:33 +0000 Steve Williams | Author bios | The Punch