http://www.thepunch.com.au/author-bios/luke-mcilveen/ Luke McIlveen is editor of the Manly Daily. He was previously chief-of-staff of The Daily Telegraph in Sydney, where he presided over Australia’s most chaotic newsdesk and disguised a total lack of organisation under the need to “stay flexible”. He has worked in newspapers for 13 years and cannot understand what the internet has to offer apart from compromising Facebook pictures he might be able to lift for tomorrow’s front page. His chief interests are social justice, boxing, Jennifer Hawkins and salt and vinegar chips (thin sliced). en Copyright 2012 The Punch penberthyd@newsltd.com.au penberthyd@newsltd.com.au Fri, 10 Feb 2012 02:00:13 +0000 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 02:00:13 +0000 Politics, opinion, world news, sports news, latest news, views, Barack Obama, Kevin Rudd, Julia Gillard, Nathan Rees, Malcolm Turnbull, Peter Garrett, Barnaby Joyce, Australian, federal politics, opinion polls, election, The Punch, thepunch, punch ExpressionEngine 1.6.7 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss 15 http://www.thepunch.com.au/images/punch-logo-rss.png http://www.thepunch.com.au/ 144 70 Politics, political opinion, world news, sports news and the latest news and views updated live, daily on The Punch - Australia's best conversation. Search The Punch keywords http://www.thepunch.com.au/search/ http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/so-whos-the-screwed-up-code-now-eh/ Melbourne has a particular view of itself. You know what I mean – pretty, arty girls in cheese-cloth skirts running around after giant balls of string. All those laneway bars populated by smart people wearing Ted Bakers. Big sporting events and, of course, a footy code that’s so much more sophisticated than the one the “mungos” play north of the border. Well, Melbourne’s image is a tad tarnished this morning folks. Just like that big ball of wool, it’s been unravelling for a while. The conga-line of AFL scandals is nothing new to league fans – we’ve been enduring them for years – but you do wonder how it’s going to be taken by the horn-rims-and-Converse crowd in St Kilda. The extraordinary thing is that the most damage has been done with a man wearing a tight perm. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Luke McIlveen) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/so-whos-the-screwed-up-code-now-eh/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/so-whos-the-screwed-up-code-now-eh/#item5190 Mon, 21 Feb 2011 01:35:09 +0000 Luke McIlveen | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/ben-cousins-should-steer-clear-of-pills-even-legal-ones/ Even if you take the Richmond Football Club’s explanation at face value, the troubled Ben Cousins’ latest flirtation with disaster proves that he still uses substances as a crutch. And he probably always will. Following a profile on Cousins in GQ last year, I wrote that he was still in the grip of his addiction and despite all the hype about his new clean image. He offered a throwaway remark in the interview that he could still “have a few beers” and had learned to “drink differently.” Rubbish. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Luke McIlveen) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/ben-cousins-should-steer-clear-of-pills-even-legal-ones/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/ben-cousins-should-steer-clear-of-pills-even-legal-ones/#item3484 Mon, 05 Jul 2010 09:10:19 +0000 Luke McIlveen | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Dork-on-the-wild-side-Lou-Reed-vanishes-up-his-bum/ Lou Reed is a complete dribbler. I do not say this lightly. In fact, it hurts to say it. I’m one of his greatest fans - and yet it must be said. The once-great rock poet has been transformed into a blithering idiot. Once, he lived on the fringe and wrote about heroin, alcoholism and trannies. Now he dabbles in experimental music with his wife Laurie Anderson, the self-titled “performance artist” (WTF does that even mean? Can you really call yourself that just because you married Lou Reed?) The pair share a Manhatten “loft” apartment with their 11-year-old rat terrier Lollabelle. They have an electronic keyboard on the floor, switched on at all times because Lollabelle likes to step on the keys and make music. I’m not making this up. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Luke McIlveen) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Dork-on-the-wild-side-Lou-Reed-vanishes-up-his-bum/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Dork-on-the-wild-side-Lou-Reed-vanishes-up-his-bum/#item3081 Thu, 13 May 2010 18:55:33 +0000 Luke McIlveen | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/rugby-league-the-ultimate-in-do-or-die-sporting-spirit/ Here we go. Another footy season, another pointless attempt to instruct trust-fund millionaires and insecure South Australians on the superior qualities of league over union and AFL. I spent Saturday afternoon on the hill at Henson Park, a hell of a footy ground in the back streets of Sydney’s Marrickville and home to the mighty Newtown Jets. It’s a pure league experience – four bucks for parking, six bucks for admission (kids free) and cans of KB Lager. While the standard isn’t exactly first-class, there are aspects of Henson Park that you just don’t get at the big stadiums. My favourite part of league is not the collisions or deft plays in attack, but watching a team pull together in adversity. It’s the theatre of watching 13 blokes lift themselves off the deck and put in for each other, regardless of the scoreboard. You see this sometimes in AFL, but almost never in Australian rugby union, where the backs and forwards don’t even train together, which is why the Wallabies will never beat the All Blacks with any regularity. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Luke McIlveen) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/rugby-league-the-ultimate-in-do-or-die-sporting-spirit/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/rugby-league-the-ultimate-in-do-or-die-sporting-spirit/#item2667 Sun, 21 Mar 2010 18:40:28 +0000 Luke McIlveen | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/green-wins-with-courage/ What the hell happened? Like the other 15,000 fight fans at Acer Arena last night, I’m still trying to work out how a tattooed knockabout - who nobody rated a chance – managed to knock Roy Jones Jr out. Oh – and he did it in less time than it takes to brush your teeth. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Luke McIlveen) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/green-wins-with-courage/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/green-wins-with-courage/#item1910 Wed, 02 Dec 2009 23:00:24 +0000 Luke McIlveen | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/abusing-us-park-exercisers-is-a-lazy-national-sport/ SO there we were performing a static hold in the push-up position down at the local park when the Dog Lady first came into our lives. We heard her before she came into view, the swoosh of her nylon track pants and the tinkling bell on the collar of her Labradoodle cutting through the early morning silence. “Good morning!” I said cheerfully as I got to my feet. “F…....g dickheads!” she bellowed in reply. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Luke McIlveen) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/abusing-us-park-exercisers-is-a-lazy-national-sport/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/abusing-us-park-exercisers-is-a-lazy-national-sport/#item1610 Thu, 29 Oct 2009 22:14:36 +0000 Luke McIlveen | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/careys-story-promises-to-be-the-sports-read-of-the-year/ Before Ben Cousins, there was Wayne Carey. The full forward from Wagga became the King of North Melbourne and the greatest train wreck of them all. His legendary love of a bender – and a life without boundaries - culminated in a famous sex act somewhere between the tooth brush holder and the soap dish with his best mate’s wife. Carey was the perfect example of a sports star whose self-loathing only increased the more the public fell in love with him. I don’t know if he’s ever met Andrew Johns, but you’d imagine they would have plenty to talk about. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Luke McIlveen) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/careys-story-promises-to-be-the-sports-read-of-the-year/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/careys-story-promises-to-be-the-sports-read-of-the-year/#item1559 Thu, 22 Oct 2009 22:57:16 +0000 Luke McIlveen | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/all-hail-the-wild-man-of-golf/ SO Melbourne gets Tiger Woods. So what? Sydney got Long John Daly and, on behalf of this city of drunken misfits, I say we couldn’t be happier. Sure, the man they call “Wild Thing” isn’t exactly sweating Tiger in the rankings or snapping up Nike contracts bigger than the GDP of African nations. Truth be known Daly, whose financial nous could have seen him make the board of Enron, is flat broke. He was selling t-shirts out of his car at the US Masters and depends largely on the proceeds of his psychedelic golf trouser label to pay the bills. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Luke McIlveen) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/all-hail-the-wild-man-of-golf/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/all-hail-the-wild-man-of-golf/#item1493 Thu, 15 Oct 2009 18:34:59 +0000 Luke McIlveen | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/October-its-hell-on-earth-for-sports-lovers/ APRIL is the cruelest month, old T.S Eliot used to say, but where does that leave October? No league, no AFL, nothing really to live for. Hell, not even club rugby on the ABC on a Saturday. There’s something called the A-League, but as far as I can make out it’s largely populated by volatile blokes with blonde highlights, either too old or mentally unstable to cut it in Europe. As the weather warms up and the sport winds down, you begin to rediscover weekends. This is by no means a good thing. Your better half declares Friday and Saturday nights the time for “catching up with people,” time you would happily have spent watching NRL games back-to-back in the winter months. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Luke McIlveen) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/October-its-hell-on-earth-for-sports-lovers/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/October-its-hell-on-earth-for-sports-lovers/#item1438 Thu, 08 Oct 2009 19:00:20 +0000 Luke McIlveen | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/it-had-its-moments-but-the-nrl-final-was-a-snore/ JARRYD Hayne brought two left boots to the Grand Final. Has there ever been a more tragic footy omen? The kid from Minto, whose whole life had been preparing for this night, chucked his gear in his kitbag, got on the bus and only realised when it was too late that his signature red boots were both the same. Parra officials ran around looking for spares. The Eels were gone before the band struck up the national anthem. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Luke McIlveen) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/it-had-its-moments-but-the-nrl-final-was-a-snore/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/it-had-its-moments-but-the-nrl-final-was-a-snore/#item1393 Mon, 05 Oct 2009 01:30:16 +0000 Luke McIlveen | Author bios | The Punch