http://www.thepunch.com.au/author-bios/joe-hildebrand/ Joe Hildebrand was born in Melbourne and extradited to Sydney in 2000. Despite this he considers Adelaide his spiritual home, having spent a pleasant weekend there in the mid-1990s. He currently “works” at The Daily Telegraph, where he wrote a column for several years until it was removed on bad taste grounds. He is single for the same reason. He has an abiding interest in cinema, notably the American action-adventure genre which is often overlooked by mainstream audiences. His favourite film is Independence Day, which until recently he believed to be a documentary. He has a blog at http://blogs.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/joehildebrand/ It has been described as having a strong cult following, which is to say very few people read it. He also writes for The Punch in order to comply with the terms of his court order. en Copyright 2013 The Punch penberthyd@newsltd.com.au penberthyd@newsltd.com.au Thu, 14 Mar 2013 19:00:10 +0000 Thu, 14 Mar 2013 19:00:10 +0000 Politics, opinion, world news, sports news, latest news, views, Barack Obama, Kevin Rudd, Julia Gillard, Nathan Rees, Malcolm Turnbull, Peter Garrett, Barnaby Joyce, Australian, federal politics, opinion polls, election, The Punch, thepunch, punch ExpressionEngine 1.6.7 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss 15 http://www.thepunch.com.au/images/punch-logo-rss.png http://www.thepunch.com.au/ 144 70 Politics, political opinion, world news, sports news and the latest news and views updated live, daily on The Punch - Australia's best conversation. Search The Punch keywords http://www.thepunch.com.au/search/ http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Im-not-getting-married-Im-entering-the-love-pyramid/ There comes a time in a man’s life when he has to hold a steady job, settle down with a nice girl, buy a house and do other things that will finally make his mother back the hell off. And so I am getting married next week. Before anyone starts jumping off buildings, I want to reassure my female fans and strong gay following that one in three marriages ends in divorce. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics there is every chance I will be single again in 14 years’ time — and given my blessed genetic heritage I think it’s fair to say that I’ll still be looking pretty good. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Joe Hildebrand) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Im-not-getting-married-Im-entering-the-love-pyramid/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Im-not-getting-married-Im-entering-the-love-pyramid/#item10480 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 19:50:54 +0000 Joe Hildebrand | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/whurley-in-dire-need-of-politeness-enhancing-drugs/ Any serious historian will tell you that the pinnacle of Australia’s cultural achievement was when Liz Hurley agreed to marry Shane Warne. Finally we had something we could genuinely be proud of. There are countless reasons why their love has captivated and inspired a nation, ranging from the superficial to the deeply spiritual. Firstly, obviously, it’s a matter of aesthetics. You only have to take in the bee-stung lips, accentuated cheekbones and thick luscious hair to know that you are looking at one of the world’s great beauties, and it’s fair to say that Liz is pretty good looking too. Secondly, it is a deep emotional connection. Nothing whispers true love like sending sweet messages of longing to your betrothed for their precious eyes alone, assuming one’s other one million followers are all doing something else at the time. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Joe Hildebrand) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/whurley-in-dire-need-of-politeness-enhancing-drugs/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/whurley-in-dire-need-of-politeness-enhancing-drugs/#item10425 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 20:00:24 +0000 Joe Hildebrand | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/we-should-make-an-example-of-dumb-drunk-racists/ One of the less pleasant aspects of hosting a show called Dumb, Drunk and Racist is that every time someone exhibits any of those characteristics it is immediately brought to my attention. After a while this can give you a fairly depressing world view. Sadly, a video now doing the rounds which shows a vile and incomprehensible display of ugliness on a Melbourne bus has scored off the charts in all three categories. If you’re reading this you have probably already seen it but in short the video shows at least two men variously screaming at a woman to “speak English or die” and threatening to “fillet these c—-s” with a fishing knife. One of the men later smashes a window near where the woman is sitting. Her crime had been to sing a song in French. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Joe Hildebrand) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/we-should-make-an-example-of-dumb-drunk-racists/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/we-should-make-an-example-of-dumb-drunk-racists/#item10044 Wed, 21 Nov 2012 03:10:08 +0000 Joe Hildebrand | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/well-if-were-gonna-start-redefining-words/ I was delighted to learn this week that you can make up a new definition for a word and all of a sudden the dictionary will change it for you. It was of course the Workplace Minister Bill Shorten who explained on the ABC show Q&A that “misogyny” didn’t mean what the dictionary said it did but in fact what the Prime Minister said it did and so a couple of days later the chastened editors of Macquarie Dictionary said they would change the definition accordingly. This was a tremendously liberating development and so I now have for the dictionary some other words that urgently need redefining. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Joe Hildebrand) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/well-if-were-gonna-start-redefining-words/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/well-if-were-gonna-start-redefining-words/#item9775 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 19:55:22 +0000 Joe Hildebrand | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/so-it-turns-out-plenty-of-us-are-dumb-drunk-and-racist/ It is hard to believe, but a little TV show with the subtle and unassuming title Dumb, Drunk and Racist has upset a lot of people. This is even more remarkable given that it hasn’t actually gone to air yet. The show was intended to pick up on a news article from last year that revealed Indian call centre workers were trained to believe Australians were “dumb, drunk and racist” – a stereotype reinforced by many in the media there. Our original intent was to go to India, pick up four locals and bring them back to Australia to show them we weren’t so bad after all. Unfortunately we were proven wrong. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Joe Hildebrand) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/so-it-turns-out-plenty-of-us-are-dumb-drunk-and-racist/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/so-it-turns-out-plenty-of-us-are-dumb-drunk-and-racist/#item8777 Tue, 19 Jun 2012 20:00:36 +0000 Joe Hildebrand | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/a-hildebrand-guide-how-labor-destroyed-itself/ People looking for reasons for the ongoing implosion of the federal government are, it is fair to say, spoiled for choice. There is a phalanx of reasons lined up ready to drag Labor into electoral and political oblivion. These include the assassination of Kevin Rudd, the carbon tax, the mining tax, the pokies cap, the second Rudd showdown and subsequent recruitment of Bob Carr and the Craig Thomson and Peter Slipper scandals. However at the core of them all is one common element. One fundamental characteristic of the current Labor leadership which will prevent it ever again winning government in this country until it is expunged. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Joe Hildebrand) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/a-hildebrand-guide-how-labor-destroyed-itself/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/a-hildebrand-guide-how-labor-destroyed-itself/#item8374 Mon, 30 Apr 2012 20:00:37 +0000 Joe Hildebrand | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/What-really-happened-in-the-caucus-room-yesterday/ Everyone knows the result of the ALP leadership ballot but speculation has been rife as to what really went on inside the caucus room. Now, in yet another extraordinary exclusive, The Punch can reveal the full transcript of what took place… JULIA: Well thanks for coming everybody. I trust you all know why you’re here? TONY: Sussex Street. PETER: Sussex Street. MATT: To get me out of Sussex Street. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Joe Hildebrand) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/What-really-happened-in-the-caucus-room-yesterday/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/What-really-happened-in-the-caucus-room-yesterday/#item7879 Mon, 27 Feb 2012 19:45:33 +0000 Joe Hildebrand | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/a-ruddy-post-card-from-sunny-mexico/ The nation has been rocked this week by the shock revelation that politicians swear. A leaked video reveals that former (and future) prime minister Kevin Rudd used several expletives while attempting to read out a recorded message. However in yet another extraordinary exclusive, sources close to Kevin Rudd have now released the full transcript of the video which shows it was very selectively edited. In fact all the seemingly angry and abusive things he said have a perfectly reasonable explanation… Beachside, somewhere in Mexico Hi Julia! Had a few minutes free so I just thought I’d Skype you to say hello _ or “hola!’’ as they say here in Mexico. Crazy guys. Lotta fun though. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Joe Hildebrand) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/a-ruddy-post-card-from-sunny-mexico/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/a-ruddy-post-card-from-sunny-mexico/#item7813 Mon, 20 Feb 2012 19:40:46 +0000 Joe Hildebrand | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Why-violence-is-the-answer-to-all-the-worlds-problems/ THE other day a stranger came up to me in the street and spat in my face. While this still put it in the top 20 days of my life so far, it was nonetheless an unpleasant experience overall. As I pushed the strange man away from me and called him various names, it occurred to me that this is something they never taught me how to deal with in journalism school. Possibly because I never went to journalism school but I still blame the system. The man’s grievance with me was unclear, as despite my best efforts I could not understand what he was talking about. The only intelligible sentence I could make out was: ``You made it sound like I made a sex video.’’ feedback@thepunch.com.au (Joe Hildebrand) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Why-violence-is-the-answer-to-all-the-worlds-problems/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Why-violence-is-the-answer-to-all-the-worlds-problems/#item7527 Fri, 13 Jan 2012 20:00:22 +0000 Joe Hildebrand | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/the-drunkest-stupidest-greatest-city-in-the-world/ Every New Year’s Eve Sydney’s Lord Mayor takes over the city’s prime harbourside viewing area at the Opera House just so society’s self-serving elites can get their snouts in the trough, quaff free champagne and look down on the poor people below them. I know this because after years of trying I finally got an invitation. Last Saturday marked the first time I had ever managed to see the New Year’s Eve fireworks display up close without the water police involved. (This does not count the year that I thought I was watching the fireworks display but had actually just set the kitchen on fire.) feedback@thepunch.com.au (Joe Hildebrand) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/the-drunkest-stupidest-greatest-city-in-the-world/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/the-drunkest-stupidest-greatest-city-in-the-world/#item7489 Fri, 06 Jan 2012 20:00:22 +0000 Joe Hildebrand | Author bios | The Punch