http://www.thepunch.com.au/author-bios/joe-hildebrand/ Joe Hildebrand was born in Melbourne and extradited to Sydney in 2000. Despite this he considers Adelaide his spiritual home, having spent a pleasant weekend there in the mid-1990s. He currently “works” at The Daily Telegraph, where he wrote a column for several years until it was removed on bad taste grounds. He is single for the same reason. He has an abiding interest in cinema, notably the American action-adventure genre which is often overlooked by mainstream audiences. His favourite film is Independence Day, which until recently he believed to be a documentary. He has a blog at http://blogs.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/joehildebrand/ It has been described as having a strong cult following, which is to say very few people read it. He also writes for The Punch in order to comply with the terms of his court order. en Copyright 2012 The Punch penberthyd@newsltd.com.au penberthyd@newsltd.com.au Fri, 10 Feb 2012 02:00:13 +0000 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 02:00:13 +0000 Politics, opinion, world news, sports news, latest news, views, Barack Obama, Kevin Rudd, Julia Gillard, Nathan Rees, Malcolm Turnbull, Peter Garrett, Barnaby Joyce, Australian, federal politics, opinion polls, election, The Punch, thepunch, punch ExpressionEngine 1.6.7 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss 15 http://www.thepunch.com.au/images/punch-logo-rss.png http://www.thepunch.com.au/ 144 70 Politics, political opinion, world news, sports news and the latest news and views updated live, daily on The Punch - Australia's best conversation. Search The Punch keywords http://www.thepunch.com.au/search/ http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Why-violence-is-the-answer-to-all-the-worlds-problems/ THE other day a stranger came up to me in the street and spat in my face. While this still put it in the top 20 days of my life so far, it was nonetheless an unpleasant experience overall. As I pushed the strange man away from me and called him various names, it occurred to me that this is something they never taught me how to deal with in journalism school. Possibly because I never went to journalism school but I still blame the system. The man’s grievance with me was unclear, as despite my best efforts I could not understand what he was talking about. The only intelligible sentence I could make out was: ``You made it sound like I made a sex video.’’ feedback@thepunch.com.au (Joe Hildebrand) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Why-violence-is-the-answer-to-all-the-worlds-problems/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Why-violence-is-the-answer-to-all-the-worlds-problems/#item7527 Fri, 13 Jan 2012 19:00:27 +0000 Joe Hildebrand | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/the-drunkest-stupidest-greatest-city-in-the-world/ Every New Year’s Eve Sydney’s Lord Mayor takes over the city’s prime harbourside viewing area at the Opera House just so society’s self-serving elites can get their snouts in the trough, quaff free champagne and look down on the poor people below them. I know this because after years of trying I finally got an invitation. Last Saturday marked the first time I had ever managed to see the New Year’s Eve fireworks display up close without the water police involved. (This does not count the year that I thought I was watching the fireworks display but had actually just set the kitchen on fire.) feedback@thepunch.com.au (Joe Hildebrand) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/the-drunkest-stupidest-greatest-city-in-the-world/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/the-drunkest-stupidest-greatest-city-in-the-world/#item7489 Fri, 06 Jan 2012 19:00:36 +0000 Joe Hildebrand | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/a-learned-meditation-on-the-true-meaning-of-christmas/ Around this time of year I usually like to write a column about the magic of Christmas. Possibly because around this time of year it usually is Christmas. For many people, Christmas is the most joyous day of the year, which says a lot about our society. I don’t think it’s prejudiced to say that only Western European-based culture is civilised enough to celebrate the birth of a doomed baby by cutting down a tree and eating a dead animal. Indeed, the prospect of Jesus being born just so He can be nailed to a tree in the prime of his life because the rest of us didn’t want to stop sinning makes us incredibly happy for some reason, the most likely one being that we are sadists. This would also explain Christmas shopping. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Joe Hildebrand) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/a-learned-meditation-on-the-true-meaning-of-christmas/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/a-learned-meditation-on-the-true-meaning-of-christmas/#item7445 Fri, 23 Dec 2011 19:00:03 +0000 Joe Hildebrand | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/i-fought-the-public-service-and-the-public-service-won/ It is one of life’s rich curiosities that the primary function of any government department is to make its citizenry despise it. This is most pronounced at the national passport office, where prior to confirming you are a citizen of Australia the bureaucratic apparatus feels it must first provide you with a host of reasons why you would not want to be. Australian passports last for 10 years, because that is how long it takes the Department of Foreign Affairs to process a new one. But recently there have been some great breakthroughs in this area. Now it only takes them two weeks to renew your passport - still slow by real world standards but the blink of an eye in the public service. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Joe Hildebrand) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/i-fought-the-public-service-and-the-public-service-won/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/i-fought-the-public-service-and-the-public-service-won/#item7398 Sat, 17 Dec 2011 00:00:56 +0000 Joe Hildebrand | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/leaked-report-reveals-leaked-reports-cause-leaks/ Much has been made this week of the leaked excerpts from the ALP’s election post mortem by Bob Carr, Steve Bracks and John Faulkner. The excerpts leaked were highly critical of Kevin Rudd but the authors now say that there is even more material that has not been released that paints a very different picture. Now, in yet another extraordinary exclusive, an explosive second extract has been leaked to the Joe Hildebrand column. Of course some people say these excerpts have also been selectively edited but I see no evidence of that… feedback@thepunch.com.au (Joe Hildebrand) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/leaked-report-reveals-leaked-reports-cause-leaks/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/leaked-report-reveals-leaked-reports-cause-leaks/#item7347 Fri, 09 Dec 2011 18:55:33 +0000 Joe Hildebrand | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/lets-add-some-perspective-to-julias-whopping-new-salary/ It was revealed this week that the Prime Minister will be paid $470,000 a year after getting a massive pay rise along with other politicians. This is obviously an obscene amount of money to waste on the highest office in the land. Just to put it in perspective, here’s a list of other things you could buy for $470,000… feedback@thepunch.com.au (Joe Hildebrand) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/lets-add-some-perspective-to-julias-whopping-new-salary/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/lets-add-some-perspective-to-julias-whopping-new-salary/#item7295 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 18:55:38 +0000 Joe Hildebrand | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/exclusive-the-tv-shows-they-dont-want-you-to-see/ This week some of the big TV networks unveiled their new programs for 2012. But what you won’t see is the shows the networks rejected. Despite some brilliant ideas and a wealth of talent, these pilots were all knocked back by out-of-touch television executives who wouldn’t know a high-quality hit show if they, er, saw one… Two Guys, a Girl and a Parliament Tony Windsor, Rob Oakeshott and Julia Gillard star in this edgy comedy about three mismatched friends who after an administrative mix-up suddenly find themselves in charge of the nation’s supreme lawmaking body. Follow their misadventures as they learn about life, love and standing orders. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Joe Hildebrand) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/exclusive-the-tv-shows-they-dont-want-you-to-see/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/exclusive-the-tv-shows-they-dont-want-you-to-see/#item7248 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 18:55:55 +0000 Joe Hildebrand | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/shock-finding-media-inquiry-discovers-media/ IT’S a quarter to teatime at the media inquiry. Chair SIR ROBERT ELDERBERRY-TONSON is hearing evidence from journalism expert DR. WILLIAM FOXBOTTLE-SMYTHE. The late afternoon sunlight ripples through the plate glass windows… SIR ROBERT: So what’s to be done Doctor. DR. WILLIAM: Well, I’m not advocating that we ban newspapers. SIR ROBERT: Who said anything about banning newspapers? DR. WILLIAM: Certainly not me. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Joe Hildebrand) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/shock-finding-media-inquiry-discovers-media/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/shock-finding-media-inquiry-discovers-media/#item7134 Fri, 11 Nov 2011 18:50:26 +0000 Joe Hildebrand | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/The-northern-territory-is-a-croc-of-you-know-what/ The naturalist Charles Darwin observed that when confronted with a hostile and unliveable environment, organisms would mutate into strange new species never before seen on the planet. While controversial when it was first published, this theory does at least explain the existence of Northern Territorians. It is fitting that the city which bears Darwin’s name is also the home of a new master race that spends most of its waking hours trying to figure out how to keep beer cold. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Joe Hildebrand) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/The-northern-territory-is-a-croc-of-you-know-what/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/The-northern-territory-is-a-croc-of-you-know-what/#item7030 Fri, 28 Oct 2011 18:55:44 +0000 Joe Hildebrand | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/exclusive-hipster-invasion-threatens-inner-west/ There are many reasons to move to Sydney’s inner west but none of them is more compelling than your girlfriend telling you to. And so it was that a few months ago I overcame my bitter prejudices and moved across town, upholding a fine family tradition of men doing whatever it is they are told to by their partner, wife, mother, sister or the nearest woman in the street. The inner west, for those of you who are not from Sydney and indeed the vast majority who are, is a small enclave nestled snugly between the CBD and the real world. People in the proper suburbs have no desire to go to the inner west and people in the inner west don’t want them there. However despite this the people in the inner west have spent the past 10 years campaigning against a motorway that would give both parties the exact result they wanted. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Joe Hildebrand) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/exclusive-hipster-invasion-threatens-inner-west/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/exclusive-hipster-invasion-threatens-inner-west/#item6879 Fri, 07 Oct 2011 06:00:55 +0000 Joe Hildebrand | Author bios | The Punch