http://www.thepunch.com.au/author-bios/chris-harrison/ Chris Harrison is a journalist, columnist and award-winning author. He has contributed to a variety of newspapers and magazines, including The Sydney Morning Herald, The Guardian, The Courier Mail and Sports Illustrated.  After spending the past decade in Europe he made the logical move to Cairns, where he works for The Cairns Post and writes a weekly column called The Write Stuff. He has his pilot’s licence, Sicilian connections and has also discovered a cure for hair. His website is http://www.chrisharrisonwriting.com and you can follow him on Twitter @harrisonwriter en Copyright 2012 The Punch penberthyd@newsltd.com.au penberthyd@newsltd.com.au Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:49 +0000 Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:49 +0000 Politics, opinion, world news, sports news, latest news, views, Barack Obama, Kevin Rudd, Julia Gillard, Nathan Rees, Malcolm Turnbull, Peter Garrett, Barnaby Joyce, Australian, federal politics, opinion polls, election, The Punch, thepunch, punch ExpressionEngine 1.6.7 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss 15 http://www.thepunch.com.au/images/punch-logo-rss.png http://www.thepunch.com.au/ 144 70 Politics, political opinion, world news, sports news and the latest news and views updated live, daily on The Punch - Australia's best conversation. Search The Punch keywords http://www.thepunch.com.au/search/ http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/got-a-drinking-problem-its-not-just-societys-fault/ I’m *hick* having trooble righting this *hick* column because I’ve had too much to drunk. I can’t talk ploply, I’m photocopying my privates and bumping into lampposts like a pin-ball. But I’m Australian, so that’s funny, right? Well, as funny as the behaviour of the three Welsh tourists who woke up in their Gold Coast hotel last week to find Dirk the penguin in their room. Though the men’s wrists will be slapped, our culture is incredibly accepting of alcohol-fuelled larrikins. But if you drink to the point where you can’t remember your actions, surely your hobby is nothing less than amnesia. Dirk remembers and if Dirk could speak he too might have phoned in to the radio station I recently heard inviting callers to share the most unusual place they had woken up after a big night out. In prison, on the roof of a car and in the middle of a roundabout were some of the improvised beds the everyday Aussies had occupied. Park benches are only for full-time drunks it seems. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Chris Harrison) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/got-a-drinking-problem-its-not-just-societys-fault/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/got-a-drinking-problem-its-not-just-societys-fault/#item8366 Mon, 30 Apr 2012 19:35:24 +0000 Chris Harrison | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/a-big-cost-for-a-small-saving/ When historians write about the National Year of Reading 2012, they will remember a time when the nation embraced the beauty of the book, spread the word about the benefits of reading, encouraged the pastime among children… Oh, and binned the Queensland Premier’s Literary Awards. “Newman!” Campbell Newman is fast turning me into Jerry Seinfeld. And if this act of aggression towards the arts is an indication of the LNP’s stance on the importance of culture in Queensland (now the only state in Australia without a state-sponsored literary prize) then his tenure as Premier will be characterised by the same catchphrase as Seinfeld, by me at least. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Chris Harrison) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/a-big-cost-for-a-small-saving/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/a-big-cost-for-a-small-saving/#item8181 Thu, 05 Apr 2012 19:50:51 +0000 Chris Harrison | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Hooray-for-mass-displays-of-the-latest-craze/ Australia has its share of Guinness world records: largest opal, hottest chilli, most implosive Labor party … and now ZUMBA! It’s not often a regional city trumps a metropolis, but Cairns recently mauled Melbourne by more than doubling the southern city’s attempt at the most number people performing the Latin dance. The city of Cairns can hold its head high. Or the 3105 people who Zumbered their way into the record books last week can hold their heads high, which would no doubt be a record in itself for the most number of people holding their heads high at the one time. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Chris Harrison) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Hooray-for-mass-displays-of-the-latest-craze/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/Hooray-for-mass-displays-of-the-latest-craze/#item7894 Wed, 29 Feb 2012 19:41:46 +0000 Chris Harrison | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/reading-off-an-ipad-is-nothing-like-reading-a-book/ “Nearly half the population struggles without the literacy skills to meet the most basic demands of everyday life and work. Forty-six per cent of Australians can’t read newspapers, follow a recipe, make sense of timetables, or understand the instructions on a medicine bottle.” So begins the “why we exist” page of the National Year of Reading 2012 website. This staggering statistic suggests the literacy issue in Australia is so urgent that emoticons could one day become functional rather than fashionable. A friend recently asked me to translate a cover letter from Italian into English. The Gen Y jobseeker ended the formal letter to a prospective employer with a smiley. I couldn’t translate the smiley and didn’t charge her for it, though I felt guilty charging her at all given she didn’t get the job and the smiley soon became a frowny. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Chris Harrison) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/reading-off-an-ipad-is-nothing-like-reading-a-book/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/reading-off-an-ipad-is-nothing-like-reading-a-book/#item7809 Mon, 20 Feb 2012 19:35:25 +0000 Chris Harrison | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/think-aussie-drivers-are-bad-stop-and-give-way-to-these-guys/ It’s highly annoying when recounting a tale of woe, pouring your heart out and shaking your fist, only to hear an unsympathetic someone crow: “That’s nothing, mate … blah, blah, blah … my neck’s bigger than yours.” So when I hear Australians complaining about how other Australians drive, I tend just to nod my head rather than thicken my neck. I tend not to mention the past 10 years sharing asphalt with the Italians, for whom the speed of light is considered conservative, in the wet, in reverse, in their driveways. That’s not to suggest I haven’t seen daredevil tactics in Oz. Despite the recent “good news” about 2011 registering the lowest number of road deaths since 1946, we still have our share of hoons, road rage and drink-driving are still a problem, and if I had a dollar for every P-plater I saw texting while driving… It’s as though they think you can steer with a smartphone. Perhaps one day you’ll be able to, if Darwinism extends to gadgets. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Chris Harrison) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/think-aussie-drivers-are-bad-stop-and-give-way-to-these-guys/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/think-aussie-drivers-are-bad-stop-and-give-way-to-these-guys/#item7714 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:45:36 +0000 Chris Harrison | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/law-must-navigate-the-treacherous-social-media-seas/ Commercial aviation is the safest form of travel because the industry has learnt from past accidents by abolishing the culture of blame. The Costa Concordia disaster is the cruise ship industry’s chance to improve safety and ensure that avoidable tragedy never happens again, but that chance will be missed if only one man pays the price. In Italian courtrooms there is a sign which suggests: La legge e’ uguale per tutti – the law is the same for everyone. There is no asterisk on the sign, though it should be noted the term “everyone: does in fact mean “everyone except some”, including former Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, who conveniently changed the law while in office to spare himself prosecution, and, more recently, the captain of the Costa Concordia Francesco Schettino, who shall be afforded no such privilege. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Chris Harrison) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/law-must-navigate-the-treacherous-social-media-seas/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/law-must-navigate-the-treacherous-social-media-seas/#item7635 Mon, 30 Jan 2012 19:30:44 +0000 Chris Harrison | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/pfft-to-your-fancy-european-power-we-have-electric-ants/ I once tried to explain cricket to a Spaniard. After half an hour of Pictionary-grade diagrams, an English-Spanish dictionary and rubbing my groin with a Granny Smith, all that Fernando had grasped with any certainty was that he didn’t wish to eat the apple. I have lived in some peculiar places and enjoyed some peculiar conversations, but I had to venture to Cairns to have a discussion with a woman about how best to post an ant through the mail. And not any type of ant but an Electric ant, or a suspected Electric ant, hence the conversation. I grew up on Sydney’s forested North Shore, so I’m accustomed to creepy crawlies in the house and have liberated many a spider in the brave space between a cup and a postcard. Postcards were invented for such endeavours. Now that people have stopped sending them, my house resembles the set of Arachnophobia.  feedback@thepunch.com.au (Chris Harrison) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/pfft-to-your-fancy-european-power-we-have-electric-ants/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/pfft-to-your-fancy-european-power-we-have-electric-ants/#item7523 Sun, 15 Jan 2012 19:50:36 +0000 Chris Harrison | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/everyone-loves-a-quitter/ Cigarette /sıgə’rєt/ n. a pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other. The good thing about writing about smoking is that for once I don’t have to watch my words. Nothing I say could possibly offend smokers more than the government’s shock tactics and cigarette packets themselves. Those of the self-poisoning persuasion are the one section of society you can tear to pieces with impunity. They’ve been told a million times they’re not wanted. I imagine they’re so stressed out by the merciless attack that they need a cigarette. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Chris Harrison) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/everyone-loves-a-quitter/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/everyone-loves-a-quitter/#item7481 Thu, 05 Jan 2012 19:45:44 +0000 Chris Harrison | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/2012-is-nearly-here-so-scoff-down-that-last-tim-tam/ Two thousand and twelve is a party away. Enjoy those final few cigarettes, that last packet of Tim Tams, that extra glass of wine, those lazy hours on the couch. Revel in slouching, swearing, picking your nose and ignoring that old lady who needs help crossing the street. Behold the sum total of the vices your New Year’s resolutions will grab by the throat, tear limb from limb and consign to the bad habits of history. For a day or two. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Chris Harrison) Lightweight http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/2012-is-nearly-here-so-scoff-down-that-last-tim-tam/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/2012-is-nearly-here-so-scoff-down-that-last-tim-tam/#item7457 Fri, 30 Dec 2011 20:00:02 +0000 Chris Harrison | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/slo-mo-testicle-hits-show-cricket-has-gone-nuts/ When you tune in to a Test Match and see the New Zealand skipper cop a Kookaburra in the testicles in super slow-motion from seven angles, you realise the technology of televised cricket has gone nuts. In 1977 Daddles the Duck skulked across our screens for the first time, accompanying the brooding batsman on his long walk back to the pavilion. Willow under his wing, tear dripping from his eye, the animated quack was one of the first computer graphics to complement the on-field action, and was part of Kerry Packer’s push to package cricket for TV. Three decades on, a glut of high-tech gadgetry and a smorgasbord of stats provide the DNA of every delivery. Atari-like graphics have been superseded by a sophisticated suite of digital devices which make NASA look like a bunch of kids farting about with a junior science kit. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Chris Harrison) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/slo-mo-testicle-hits-show-cricket-has-gone-nuts/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/slo-mo-testicle-hits-show-cricket-has-gone-nuts/#item7418 Tue, 20 Dec 2011 20:00:58 +0000 Chris Harrison | Author bios | The Punch