http://www.thepunch.com.au/author-bios/angela-mollard/ Angela Mollard is a Sydney-based journalist who began her career at the New Zealand Herald before moving to London where she worked for the Daily Mail. She also wrote for The Sunday Times, the Mail on Sunday, Marie Claire and Harpers & Queen before moving to Australia. For the past few years she has combined motherhood with writing for magazines both in Australia and the UK. Thus, much to her dismay, she can tell you the name of any celebrity’s child. She is proud of never having read an instruction manual. She still supports the All Blacks. en Copyright 2012 The Punch penberthyd@newsltd.com.au penberthyd@newsltd.com.au Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:49 +0000 Sat, 26 May 2012 20:00:49 +0000 Politics, opinion, world news, sports news, latest news, views, Barack Obama, Kevin Rudd, Julia Gillard, Nathan Rees, Malcolm Turnbull, Peter Garrett, Barnaby Joyce, Australian, federal politics, opinion polls, election, The Punch, thepunch, punch ExpressionEngine 1.6.7 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss 15 http://www.thepunch.com.au/images/punch-logo-rss.png http://www.thepunch.com.au/ 144 70 Politics, political opinion, world news, sports news and the latest news and views updated live, daily on The Punch - Australia's best conversation. Search The Punch keywords http://www.thepunch.com.au/search/ http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/a-good-holiday-is-about-unrest-not-rest/ Like a fat full-stop, it lay in my hand. A small orange – not exactly fresh, but purchased anyway because a toothless woman had walked half a day to sell it for just 30 rupees. I looked at it for a long time, then gouged a thumb under its skin. Then I laughed, because I’d travelled half the world and up a mountain’s worth of stone steps to do something I no longer have time to do at home: peel an orange. Like many people, I live a hyphenated life: Angela – mother; Angela – journalist; Angela – commentator; Angela – wife; Angela – cook; Angela – sex goddess (OK, maybe not). There are few moments when I’m just Angela. None when I’m the girl I once was – an inquisitive, globetrotting wanderer who thanked God she was born at the bottom of the world so she could spend her life exploring the rest of it. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Angela Mollard) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/a-good-holiday-is-about-unrest-not-rest/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/a-good-holiday-is-about-unrest-not-rest/#item8587 Sat, 26 May 2012 19:50:21 +0000 Angela Mollard | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/a-fulfilling-marriage-is-more-about-sext-than-text/ Text to my husband: “Have sorted meatballs and worm tablets.” Except I inadvertently send it to my friend, who wryly messages back: “Glad to see it’s all romance in your house.” Once upon a time, I’d text this man about what I’d like to do to him when next we met. Now it’s reduced to bald instructions to ensure a child isn’t left at school or requests for forgotten dinner items (you’d think I’d remember that pasta goes with bolognaise). Scrolling through our texts reveals a similar theme. Me: “Can you get $105 for drum teacher?” Him: “Just going for a couple of beers with James.” Me: “Pls buy sunscreen.” Him (in shouty capitals because he was cross): “There’s no sour cream. Pls buy some.” feedback@thepunch.com.au (Angela Mollard) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/a-fulfilling-marriage-is-more-about-sext-than-text/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/a-fulfilling-marriage-is-more-about-sext-than-text/#item8536 Sat, 19 May 2012 19:50:34 +0000 Angela Mollard | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/PMT-alert-quick-kids-retreat-to-your-bedrooms/ You’re the worst mother in the world,” she yelled, running to her bedroom. “Well, go find another one,” I yelled back, because I’m mature like that. It had been an awful morning. The cereal was wrong, the rockmelon too hard, the floor too cold. And those were just my complaints. In that horrible way where one person’s mood dictates the others’, I’d PMTed my family. The dagger-infused hormones may have been coursing through my body, but by 7.03am, I’d infected the lot of them. “Will someone feed the damn cat,” I yelled, because that sort of tone is guaranteed to prompt one to say to the other, “Hey sis, I know you have homework – leave it to me.” feedback@thepunch.com.au (Angela Mollard) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/PMT-alert-quick-kids-retreat-to-your-bedrooms/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/PMT-alert-quick-kids-retreat-to-your-bedrooms/#item8476 Sat, 12 May 2012 19:50:34 +0000 Angela Mollard | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/how-can-women-function-without-friendship/ Blindfolded in a room, I could smell her. I could seek her out, smack kisses on both cheeks as is her continental preference, feel the swing of thick red hair, then throw off the blindfold to laugh into eyes as dancingly brown as mine are blue. My friend. My lovely long-distance friend with whom I’ve traversed nearly half my life in conversation as tangential as it is profound; hair, husbands, miscarriages, mothers, books, babies, crumb-wiping, bum-wiping – all tumbling out down the phone. A lifeline of succour and good sense. I can’t imagine life without her, or the other half-dozen women who both anchor and buoy my world. Friendship, I’ve learnt, is a love story as sweeping and sustaining as anything you’ll find in a romance novel. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Angela Mollard) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/how-can-women-function-without-friendship/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/how-can-women-function-without-friendship/#item8409 Sat, 05 May 2012 19:50:54 +0000 Angela Mollard | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/id-rather-climb-a-mountain-than-stick-to-a-diet/ WhenI started this column, I vowed I wouldn’t write about my weight. Or diets. I figured if you’re female, you have enough going on in your own head. If you’re male, well, you don’t need it confirmed that we’re all bonkers. But I’m not one for self-imposed rules. And with so many young women seeing body image as the greatest concern of their lives, I don’t think ignoring it is going to help. So, let’s talk about weight. We’ll start with mine. For the past few years, I’ve had no idea what I weigh. I’m a words, not a numbers girl, so rather than curse the scales, I’ll realise my thighs feel a bit flabby, or – as has been the case this autumn – my jeans are a bit tight. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Angela Mollard) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/id-rather-climb-a-mountain-than-stick-to-a-diet/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/id-rather-climb-a-mountain-than-stick-to-a-diet/#item8347 Sat, 28 Apr 2012 19:50:04 +0000 Angela Mollard | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/theres-no-drug-that-can-prepare-you-for-parenthood/ In giant letters, I’d written “No drugs”. Then, as an afterthought: “Perhaps an epidural if it’s as bad as everyone says.” There was to be no caesarean, no forceps and no bloody Enya on the CD player. I’d bring toffees. You need sugar when you’re, like, birthing another person. There are few more laughable oxymorons in life than a “birth plan”. However well you think you know your body, all bets are off the second you have a contraction – presuming it is a contraction, of course, because nature also came up with Braxton Hicks, a pseudo contraction which, like much about the birth business, is nonsensically named after a man. In the event, the birth went like this: 26-hour labour; failure to dilate; gas and air (useless); pethidine (useless). “Breathe,” says husband. “I am breathing, otherwise I’d be dead,” I reply. Baby’s heart rate drops; emergency caesarean. Me shaking with fear, or lack of toffees. Baby arrives; a girl. And in that moment of miracle, life begins anew. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Angela Mollard) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/theres-no-drug-that-can-prepare-you-for-parenthood/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/theres-no-drug-that-can-prepare-you-for-parenthood/#item8296 Sat, 21 Apr 2012 19:45:53 +0000 Angela Mollard | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/if-youve-got-a-favourite-child-youre-kidding-yourself/ “Your daughter,” remarks a friend in the schoolyard, “reminds me of that girl in Four Weddings and a Funeral.” Really? The Andie MacDowell character? Or the one they called Duckface? The one who wakes up late, screams f—k four times, then runs to the wedding, ripping her bridesmaid’s dress on the way. “You know,” she continues, “the crazy one with the sticking-up hair.” She’s right. That’s our daughter, an imp of a girl who burst from the womb like a cartoon character, hair on end, legs akimbo, grinning madly despite the indignity of being yanked into the world with a pair of barbecue tongs. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Angela Mollard) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/if-youve-got-a-favourite-child-youre-kidding-yourself/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/if-youve-got-a-favourite-child-youre-kidding-yourself/#item8232 Sat, 14 Apr 2012 19:50:10 +0000 Angela Mollard | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/are-your-friends-looking-for-love-in-all-the-wrong-places/ Love is a bitch to find. If you believe Hollywood, it’s there for the taking – lurking in Central Park, where his dog sniffs at your dog and you chat and go for coffee… blah, blah, blah. Or it’s in a bookshop – one of those cosy, little word-worthy places, where you reach for Eckhart Tolle and he reaches for Paul Theroux and so ensues a darling discussion, and you go back to his place and fall into bed and live happily ever after. Oh, please. Don’t get me started on nightclubs, those palaces of fleeting promises. They’re a travesty to romance, great for a boogie or a one-nighter, but no friend of mine, gay or straight, has ever found enduring love on a grubby dance floor. Congrats if you have, here’s a wet wipe. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Angela Mollard) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/are-your-friends-looking-for-love-in-all-the-wrong-places/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/are-your-friends-looking-for-love-in-all-the-wrong-places/#item8185 Sat, 07 Apr 2012 19:45:18 +0000 Angela Mollard | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/angela-by-any-other-name-would-be-as-sweet/ Angela is so not “me”. I’m definitely a Clementine. Maybe a Rebecca. Seraphina at a pinch, especially on the days I wear stripes and drink rosé and lounge on a yacht – which, of course, is never. But I would if I wasn’t called Angela. Sorry, Mum, but Angela is a library monitor’s name. It’s capable and no-nonsense – which I am, I suppose. But how was I ever going to pull off whimsical with those thudding syllables? An-Ge-La. Like ‘potato’ or “phlegmatic”, it’s a word that sulks rather than skips off the tongue. My husband is similarly burdened. Think of an English name beginning with N, popular in the ’60s and often suffixed with the expression “no friends”. Poor bugger. He’s so not his name. He’s a Tom, a Will, a Sam. A belly laugh of a man living under a dullard’s name. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Angela Mollard) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/angela-by-any-other-name-would-be-as-sweet/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/angela-by-any-other-name-would-be-as-sweet/#item8141 Sat, 31 Mar 2012 20:45:22 +0000 Angela Mollard | Author bios | The Punch http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/its-better-to-be-a-patchwork-person-than-a-perfect-one/ We were 15. Girls still, as this was another era. Our lives fused through Friday night sleepovers, caravanning holidays and shared tubes of Clearasil. Saturday morning sport. Afternoons with the blow-dryer. Then off on our bikes in our pastel jeans – no hands, no helmets – squealing through the park as we pedalled to meet the boys. Discos, where I’d kiss them and M wouldn’t because she was always cooler than me. Dancing to Depeche Mode – “I just can’t get enough, I just can’t get enough”. And we couldn’t. But it all changed that summer of 1982. feedback@thepunch.com.au (Angela Mollard) Article http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/its-better-to-be-a-patchwork-person-than-a-perfect-one/#comments http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/its-better-to-be-a-patchwork-person-than-a-perfect-one/#item8080 Sat, 24 Mar 2012 19:45:26 +0000 Angela Mollard | Author bios | The Punch