Lightweight

Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis.

New Superman would cry if you asked him to do this…

Eighteen months ago, he was a successful reporter for the Daily Planet, he was happily married to Lois Lane and he spent his spare time fighting for truth, justice and the American way.

Now, he’s pashing Wonder Woman, and this week we learnt he has quit his job and is starting up a blog. And by the way, you know we are in trouble when even the Man of Steel doesn’t think he can save print journalism.

Latest 2 of 28 comments

 
  • St. Michael says:

    06:06pm | 25/10/12

    Bullpen Bulletins approves of this post. Read more »

  • stephen says:

    04:42pm | 25/10/12

    But you are right, Superman is a hero, and a hero is an archetype, and an archetype is always fictional. Therefore, the Man of Steel is fictional, therefore, he can, and should, get up to whatever derring-do’s his creator can think up, and his fans don’t like it then they… Read more »

 

Yolo. Hashtag, yeah.

The first Punch piece ever featuring a picture of Zac Efron. Hopefully the last too

No, this column isn’t about Yogo, the delicious chocolate yoghurt substance of yore.

It’s (kinda) about a phrase that’s fast catching on with Gen Y, so much so that even a few of my older colleagues are aware of it.

Latest 2 of 111 comments

 
  • Rocko says:

    06:35pm | 18/10/12

    Probably explains why the counter-saying for it among the apprentices at work is YOYO when they hear the girlfriend of the month is possibly pregnant. “You’re on your own” they told to me, because there’s plenty more around looking for their construction and mining money to spend having fun while… Read more »

  • YOLO! says:

    05:47pm | 18/10/12

    Agree @Rose I work in a succesful job in a lab, I have a trade behind me and placed first in my class every year at TAFE. I also own a brand new 4x4 ute and have travelled to America and Indonesia. I go out every weekend (Sometimes the X),… Read more »

 

When you’re thirteen years old there’s a small but very definite list of things that you hate with ferocious intensity: homework and rules.


That means there are few worse things to be told when you’re 13 than, “Do your homework!” Especially by someone who is being paid to look after you.

But that’s exactly what happened in California this week, where according to Gawker a 13 year old boy threatened his babysitter with a kitchen knife when she asked, more than once, if he’d started his homework.

Latest 2 of 26 comments

 
  • Loulou says:

    05:39pm | 30/08/12

    Bad experience #1 - At 15 I babysat the school janitor’s kids (2 and 6mo).  He & his wife bolted out the front door when the 2yo wasn’t looking, shortly after telling me they’d never used a babysitter before.  The poor tyke stood by the frosted glass at the front… Read more »

  • Grumpy Pants says:

    05:19pm | 30/08/12

    I hate loud noises and I hate children. Never ask me to babysit your spawn! Read more »

 

It comes around so quickly, another financial year been and gone as words like “peloton,” “jersey” and “Phil Ligget” enter our vocabulary once again. 

Picture: AP

The Tour de France is back and as it creeps onto our midnight screens, induces insomnia and replaces the European erotica that we normally watch on SBS, we see a surge of popularity in the sport.

You have to admire cycling commentators as they provide fascinating insights and anecdotes that glue us to our beds.

Latest 2 of 62 comments

 
  • Mike says:

    08:47pm | 29/07/12

    I would have thought that having 190 guys on bikes all trying to get to the line at exactly the same time and having massive crashes was half the fun of it.  That’s the only reason why most people like me watch it, like F1 - for the crashes. The… Read more »

  • Clownshoes says:

    04:01pm | 19/07/12

    This comment was a better read than the actual article! I ride to work every day and get a $10 allowance (I work in Local Government). I would ride anyway but it’s nice to have a bonus free lunch on top of all the money I save anyway commuting 14kms… Read more »

 

We come into this world naked and squalling. Red in the neck, uncouth. Unsophisticated. Obsessed with boobs, loud, annoying, a bit farty.  Not much interest in literature.

Top of the bogan chain. Pic: Supplied

We are all born bogans, and life is just a matter of accreting varying levels of sophistication.

Today, as we bathe in The Voice winner Karise Eden’s victory proclamation of “I love youse all”, we can also joyfully splash about in the fact that the word ‘bogan’ has finally made it into the Oxford English Dictionary.

Latest 2 of 101 comments

 
  • A.T says:

    12:56pm | 04/08/12

    Tory Shepherd you may have been born a bogan I wasn’t my parents taught me couth and culture from an early age they also taught me not to be borrish, obnoxious or rude.  Having money,d boozing it up, driving a big flash ute and dragging a jetski around is none… Read more »

  • K2 says:

    01:36pm | 04/07/12

    Culture is just your cult (in green language).  Given that we live in a world where socially accepted norms are driven by the mass media, it would seem that now being a ‘bogan’ is “normal” - lets take it one step further and look at Lady Ca-Ca, and you can… Read more »

 

A private school girl’s family is sueing her elite, extremely expensive private school for not providing her with the necessary tuition and support to get into a law course at an elite university, and so they should.

This irresponsible institution calls itself a grammar school, but can't even teach it. Image: Colin Murty

The girl in question, a pouting, willowy petal by the name of Rose Ashton-Weir, boarded at Geelong Grammar in 2008 and 2009 and was clearly neglected to the point of indifference. The school is Prince Charles’s alma mater, and is Victoria’s most expensive secondary institution with annual fees topping $30k, yet evidence was tabled in court yesterday that Ms Ashton-Weir was never once given a silver spoon with which to imbibe her daily Bircher muesli.

Further, the school patently failed the young lady by refusing to provide an immaculate gravel pathway lined with lovingly-tended hedges stretching all the way from the doors of its Geelong campus to the nearest sandstone university law school. Quite rightly, the family is outraged.

Latest 2 of 252 comments

 
  • Alice says:

    08:00am | 25/10/12

    DOB, did they not teach you how to use apostrophes at your Big Sic uni? Read more »

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    07:43am | 12/10/12

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British comedian John Cleese calls them “beer fairies”.  It’s a euphemism for Australian men who drink beer, and that’s apparently the worst thing around when it comes to the dating world.

She's onto a winner

Sounds ridiculous. But that’s the big take home message from a NewsPoll survey which found Australian women prefer men who are adventurous with their choice of beverage. In other words, men who don’t drink beer are considered better potential partners than those that do.

Ouch. Forget about bad breath, an annoying laugh or narcissistic behaviour, it’s men that order beer who are the real scourge on the dating world? Well I don’t buy that for a second.

Latest 2 of 198 comments

 
  • Sam says:

    05:30am | 14/05/12

    Photo caption should be ... “she’s onto a winner (relative to her), and he’s onto an absolute loser who’ll drag his life down the drain” Read more »

  • K says:

    10:22am | 12/05/12

    “Men should save their fretting for things that really matter like making conversation, turning up on time and being funny, or smart.” - or remembering her name Read more »

 

Ladies, please keep your distance today. For one day in the year, I beg you. Allow me to repose unpestered and alone in my magnificence. Today, I need my space.

A picture of my face would have been much too distracting

Today, my perfect face with its high cheekbones and steely jaw is unusually furrowed, and all because of a wonderful column by UK writer Samantha Brick. Not until I read her raw, groundbreaking words did I realise I share her problem.

Samantha and I are siblings in exquisiteness. We are soul brother and sister in sheer physical splendour. Like Ms Brick, I am a victim of my own vivacity and it’s time my plight was highlighted.

Latest 2 of 231 comments

 
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    08:32am | 17/10/12

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  • Chris R. says:

    10:37am | 08/10/12

    I can’t sit on trains anymore, and walking limited to treadmill. Read more »

 

When Fabrice Muamba collapsed on the pitch during Saturday’s FA Cup quarter-final, many people audibly gasped.

If this scene makes you want to Tweet racist rubbish, you don't deserve a computer. Pic: AP

Some spoke words of concern, while others simply held their breath.

Liam Stacey - a 21-year-old Welsh biology student - saw it as the perfect opportunity to alienate the entire world by openly mocking the unconscious player and posting a string of racist and sexist comments in response to criticism from other Twitter users. Obviously, the lad isn’t the first to haphazardly press a bunch of keyboard keys in a decidedly racist order. But being the most most recent to do so probably makes him more idiotic, in many ways.

Latest 2 of 68 comments

 
  • santa says:

    01:38pm | 08/06/12

    Racism and racial discrimination are often used to describe discrimination on an ethnic or cultural basis, independent of whether these differences are described as racial. According to the United Nations conventions, there is no distinction between the terms racial discrimination and ethnicity discrimination. Thanks. Regards, Thesis writing service Read more »

  • thesis proposal says:

    04:27pm | 07/06/12

    Some definitions would have it that any assumption that a person’s behavior would be influenced by their racial categorization is racist, regardless of how seemingly benign such assumptions might be. Other definitions would only include conscious malignant forms of discrimination. Thanks. Regards, Read more »

 

Well, puck me with a fitchfork. The F-word is apparently an acceptable part of Australian speech.

Hey, are those two futs nucking?

That’s the only conclusion you can draw after the trade mark examiner gave two thucking fumbs up to a soon-to-be-released product called “Nuckin Futs”.

After the initial trade mark application was rejected, a savvy lawyer argued that the f-bomb is an everyday part of Australian speech. And he won. The product is on its way, with the only caveat being it can’t be marketed to minors.

Latest 2 of 170 comments

 
  • Simmo says:

    08:41am | 08/03/12

    Ihad a situation over the weekend where our neighbour behind decided to put a sign up on his back window that sadi “you nosey f&%ka” I called the cops (as he is not the most approachable person) and the cops advised me that the F word is acceptable, but were… Read more »

  • Steph says:

    04:24pm | 07/03/12

    I agree whole-heartedly Caroline, having studied linguistics at university. There is more to the use of language than just its “proper” use. People say that the standard of grammar is in decline, where as I would argue that it’s just changing, as languages tend to do over time to allow… Read more »

 

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