Tory Shepherd
Tory Shepherd studied anthropology, then travelled, then studied some more, then travelled, then ended up with a cadetship at The Advertiser in 2006. She covered police rounds, politics, general news and health, while working at The Punch on the side. Now Tory is working full time at The Punch. She can be seen and heard on ABC local radio and Radio National, PM Live on Sky, and in other nooks and crannies. She is passionate about words, wine, chilli, soccer, and people (even the ones who hate her or keep praying for her soul). Follow her on Twitter - @ToryShepherd
Articles by Tory Shepherd
Just add grog and stir
I live in a “peri-urban” part of South Australia, which sounds spicier than it actually is. But I used to…... Read more
Toxic attacks on science
First there was pre-scientific thinking. In medieval times people believed a balance of humors – blood, phlegm, yellow bile and…... Read more
A swim through: the pharmacopoeia of coping
Australia is trying to recuperate from the devastating news that a bunch of 20-something Aussies went to the UK and…... Read more
The guts of the matter is that we want policy, not politics
Labor has disembowelled itself and we’re all standing around trying to divine the future from its spilled entrails. The Opposition…... Read more
A modern Australia must get it right on rites
Weddings used to be cookie cutter affairs, vows in a church then a chicken-or-beef reception. A waltz, a drunken uncle,…... Read more
You want it all? Sorry, you can’t have it.
You can’t have it all. That’s a self-evident truth. You can’t have all the pies and all the ciggies and…... Read more
This confected outrage will be our downfall
In 1990 – that dim and distant past when trolls were just mythical Scandinavian cavedwellers and only expert cooks and…... Read more
ICB: Tim doesn’t deserve to be given the bum’s rush
So the Prime Minister’s partner is being fingered for tastelessness after he cracked a bum joke. There’s the predictable outrage,…... Read more
Group hugs and brain farts for Australia Day
Paying politically correct lip service to multiculturalism has become one of our great Australia Day traditions. The Opposition used the…... Read more
Good luck, Ms Peris, I’m afraid you’re going to need it
So Prime Minister Julia Gillard has shoehorned Nova Peris onto the ALP Senate ticket, thus illustrating that her cackhandedness is…... Read more
The red pill would have been better for your health, Lance
The human brain is an amazing thing. We cram it full of stuff and nonsense and song lyrics and daydreams…... Read more
The old-school Silver Fox with the rock’n'roll heart
Greg Kelton loved a cracking yarn and a thumping Shiraz. And he only went into journalism because he lacked the…... Read more
Making the wrong moves on the rights of the unborn
A man, enraged, kicks his pregnant partner in the stomach until she miscarries. A baby he didn’t want. Later, she…... Read more
Some parents don’t deserve these government benefits
A sickening book that celebrates the joy of measles – yes, the potentially fatal and brain damaging disease – was…... Read more
Heated arguments on the need for a new politics
From the land that brought us Lord Monckton comes this: Climate change denial is “almost a national pastime in Australia”.…... Read more
ICB: Can you have a Nude Olympics with clothes?
Welcome to a stripped back I Call Bullshit, where we look at spin and scuttlebutt. Today, nudity. I admire other…... Read more
Picking your battles in the 2013 Gender Wars
Some people are so obsessed with finding sexism they’re like excited children pointing at everything on four wheels and shouting…... Read more
Sit down, this may come as a surprise to you…
A rape is never the victim’s fault. Hopefully, Dear Reader, you read that line, rolled your eyes in exasperation and…... Read more
It’s an elastic-waisted pants kind of a day
At one point in the Christmas feasting frenzy I looked down into my bowl of brandy butter with double cream,…... Read more
Armageddon outta here!
OK, I’m very nearly over this whole apocalypse guff. Just as well it’s nearly over, right? But let us muse…... Read more
Anonymous vs. Westboro: A tale of two idiotic mobs
Westboro Baptist Church members are a nasty little pack of human-shaped smegma. There is, it appears, no limits to their…... Read more
Armageddon ready: What’ll you pack for the Apocalypse?
Ron Hubbard is building plush bomb-proof survival shelters to save people from tomorrow’s Mayan Apocalypse, when a planet name Nibiru…... Read more
Vale Red Dog
I’m pretty sure my dog looks sheepish when he farts. I also caught him rolling his eyes the other night…... Read more
Australia’s own gun lobby is alive and kicking
Damn that Obama. He bamboozles you with a powerful speech and it’s only when he’s finished you realise he hasn’t…... Read more
Ugly war of words over beautiful game
Guy came into my local the other day. Ordered a pint of Coopers. When he saw his 425ml glass, he…... Read more
An age-old question on taxpayer funding for IVF
Hundreds of Australians die every year because of overcrowded hospitals. Children with disabilities struggle to get the help and equipment…... Read more
You should never, ever have the right to not be offended
Human beings can be offended in a myriad weird and wonderful ways. I recently learned that to describe someone morbidly…... Read more
Enough with the grief porn and outrage orgy. Please.
This evening, the radio DJs Mel Greig and Michael Christian sat down with the TV networks to tell their side…... Read more
Time for Anonymous to be a little more nonymous
It was only a matter of time before geeks clad in Guy Fawkes masks started some sort of vigilante action…... Read more
Five creatures scientists should genetically engineer
Science is so amazing it can put an ear on a mouse and make Dolly the Sheep, and yet they…... Read more
How’s your gaydar? What about your straydar?
We’re a judgemental bunch, humans. We make snap decisions based on what people wear, their hair, their smiles (or lack…... Read more
Why wallowing in woo woo is bad for your health
It’s not often I spend a weekend with people happily clapping and speaking in awed tones about a venerable dude.…... Read more
Hey, preachers! Leave that homeopathic mum alone!
Hey angry people, don’t lash out at the silly mum who thought that homeopathy would protect her child. She obviously…... Read more
The refugees who want to go back to where they came from
As the full omnishambles of both the Government’s and the Opposition’s asylum seeker policies is revealed, it seems the answer…... Read more
Rumours surface from the murky depths of the internet
The internet is a parallel dimension inhabited by deranged monsters and marvellous heroes, all scattered like stars across cyberspace with…... Read more
Both sides race to the bottom on asylum seekers
It’s Friday, so we all say ‘Thank God’ because we have things we enjoy doing more than work; the weekend…... Read more
ICB: Can you be racist towards white people?
Welcome to another edition of I Call Bullshit, a column dedicated to codswallop. Today we’re going to look at racism…... Read more
You’d better watch out, the anti-Santa is coming to town
Parenting’s surprisingly easy when you’re not a parent. I’d never let them watch television, they’d be outside running around pretty…... Read more
Why men can’t blow dry and women can fight tough stains
‘First Bloke’ Tim Mathieson has been tried and found guilty of not living up to the manly stereotype, despite all…... Read more
Everyone is entrenched in these war games
War is no longer played out in the mud, with feet rotting inside damp boots and trenches collapsing. It’s no…... Read more
Putting the hard questions to Ron ‘the Hedgehog’ Jeremy
I was chatting away to the legendary Ron Jeremy about politics, as you do, then tried to move the question…... Read more
Sorry to tell you, humankind, but you already peaked
Hey, stupid! Look over here! Yeah, I’m talking to you, dumb arse! Well, it’s true, you know. Humans are getting…... Read more
In the name of the fathers and the sons, Cardinal Pell…
BREAKING NEWS: Prime Minister Julia Gillard has just announced a national Royal Commission into child abuse - beyond just the…... Read more
Time to fully face the Catholic Church’s disgrace
Premier Barry O’Farrell should not set up a Royal Commission into sex abuse in the Catholic Church. It should be…... Read more
This is no country of just old, white men
As if politics wasn’t a difficult and dirty enough business; politicians also have to take into account the unwholesome fact…... Read more
A tragic tale from a mysterious massage clinic
Elvira Brunt is a mysterious figure, born in Backa Palanka on the banks of the Danube in 1957. She allegedly…... Read more
Meanwhile, Waterhouse’s cup runneth over…
When you think of a problem gambler, chances are you think of someone in a dank, windowless pub section, engrossed…... Read more
ICB: My non-activated nuts are dead to me
Activated nuts? Yes please! How could you resist something that sounds so… active. And… nutty? Welcome to the latest I…... Read more
Confessions of an arachnophobe
It’s a little-known fact that even the tiniest little house spider can debilitate and paralyse grown men. If said men…... Read more
Climate change was a piece of the Frankenstorm puzzle
One of the first pictures to infest social media as Sandy the Frankenstorm hit was this one – the Statue…... Read more
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Recent posts
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The Punch is moving house
Good morning Punchers. After four years of excellent fun and great conversation, this is the final post…
Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?
I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…
Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”
In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…
Nosebleed Section
choice ringside rantings
From: Hasbro, go straight to gaol, do not pass go
Tim says:
They should update other things in the game too. Instead of a get out of jail free card, they should have a Dodgy Lawyer card that not only gets you out of jail straight away but also gives you a fat payout in compensation for daring to arrest you in the first place. Instead of getting a hotel when you… [read more]From: A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go
Kel says:
If you want a festival for older people or for families alike, get amongst the respectable punters at Bluesfest. A truly amazing festival experience to be had of ALL AGES. And all the young "festivalgoers" usually write themselves off on the first night, only to never hear from them again the rest of… [read more]Gentle jabs to the ribs
Superman needs saving
Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more
