Sam Clench
Sam was studying for a journalism degree at UTS last year when he fluked an internship at The Punch. Something about the cut of his jib impressed the good folks at news.com.au, and he’s now working there as a newsroom assistant.
When he isn’t running errands or posing as an unheralded IT expert, Sam spouts his opinionated drivel here. If you prefer your drivel in small doses, he can also be found on Twitter: @SamClench
Articles by Sam Clench
Atheist church’s faithless flock proves value of religion
Church. It’s probably the last place you’d expect to find a proud cabal of atheists revelling in their lack of…... Read more
Nothing but a half-baked star in a reasonably priced bar
Jeremy Clarkson is quickly sliding down The Cool Wall. The Top Gear host’s epic whinge about a bit of attention…... Read more
Abbott’s leaked water plan is a dam good idea
The Coalition has conjured up a great policy idea and Tony Abbott should latch onto it. He’ll be damned if…... Read more
Malcolm already stuffed up his chance to be leader
Tony Windsor reckons the Liberals would be certain to win this year’s election if they elevated Malcolm Turnbull to the…... Read more
Quit your whingeing Kiwi cuzzies, life here is sweet as
So NZ Prime Minister John Key is upset about the way Australia treats Kiwi immigrants. He can’t be serious. New…... Read more
What hope of containing “Chopper” Rudd?
Oh dear. Labor minister Simon Crean has deluded himself into thinking that Kevin Rudd’s popularity can be “bottled” and controlled…... Read more
We aren’t all yobbos and wankers on Australia Day
As a dirty foreigner from across the ditch, I feel as though I have free license to bag out Australia.…... Read more
Julia Gillard hasn’t always been quite so supportive
It really is difficult to keep track of Julia Gillard’s shifting priorities. As she stood before the media in the…... Read more
Some dopes would have us surrender to the cheats
Lance Armstrong’s remaining fans have performed some epic intellectual back flips to rationalise the cyclist’s behaviour following his semi-contrite confession…... Read more
A decent start on guns, but it won’t stop the bloodshed
Flanked by children who wrote to him after the Sandy Hook shooting last month, Barack Obama today proposed the strictest…... Read more
Facebook has finally evolved into a glorified dating site
Lonely hearts and internet creeps rejoice! “Facebook stalking” just got a heck of a lot easier. The new “graph search”…... Read more
Teachers have every right to lead raunchy private lives
Social media is robbing employees of the right to behave as they like in their private lives. A Melbourne teacher…... Read more
Stumps for Ponting
The career of Australia’s best batsman since Bradman ended in Perth this afternoon. Ricky Ponting’s final innings was disappointingly (though…... Read more
Mitt Romney should be the next American President
Mitt Romney is not a stylish politician. He will never match the uplifting rhetoric or easy charm of current US…... Read more
Now this is how you write a storm warning: Jersey style
Severe weather warnings in Australia normally don’t make for especially riveting reading. They’re usually full of bureaucratic nonsense, and dry…... Read more
Transparency deserves a better spokesperson
Julian Assange can never stay out of the headlines for long, and if last night’s strong ratings on Channel Ten…... Read more
Storming toward the ultimate sporting vindication
Australian sport is on the verge of an identity crisis. If results go a certain way this weekend then everything…... Read more
President Obama does not deserve to be re-elected
Barack Obama rode upon a wave of euphoria to become President of the United States four years ago. After nearly…... Read more
Why not run the Olympics and Paralympics together?
The Paralympic Games begin in London tomorrow night, without any of the fuss or media fanfare which accompanied the Olympics…... Read more
To be or not to be? Give patients the right to decide
Too many disabled and terminally ill people must bear prolonged and pointless suffering against their will because our society denies…... Read more
I’ll take coiffed wankers over mustachioed macho men
Line a modern sportsman up next to the stars of decades past and you will struggle to believe that they…... Read more
A lesson in crazy brave politics from meek old Mitt
With a single announcement, Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney has changed the entire complexion of the upcoming American election. In…... Read more
Sporting Idol: the search for Australia’s Olympic saviour
Beefing up our lagging Olympic medal tally for the Rio Games in four years could be as simple as sticking…... Read more
The Olympic shuttle cock-up set to make the AFL feel bad
Most athletes who cheat at the Olympics at least have the good sense to do so in pursuit of victory.…... Read more
Killing the killer will not bring back his victims
James Holmes, the alleged gunman in the Colorado shooting massacre, will be formally charged with multiple counts of first degree…... Read more
The Parramatta Eels need to punt on talent, not pokies
Andrew Wilkie does not strike you as someone who skips straight to the back page of the newspaper every morning.…... Read more
Money Bill Williams: Sport’s most $hameless mercenary
Today we learned that All Blacks star Sonny Bill Williams, already infamous for abandoning the Bulldogs and running off to…... Read more
Hang on: Federer was supposed to be in his twilight
Swiss magician Roger Federer treated us to an astounding display of tennis last night, overwhelming world number one Novak Djokovic…... Read more
To win Origin, NSW must lose its marbles
Blues second rower Greg Bird made a horrendous tactical error last week when he claimed that NSW would be the…... Read more
The lottery of a shootout is no way to settle a game
It happens at every major football tournament, without fail. At least one team, usually England, is sent packing by the…... Read more
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Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?
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Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”
In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…
Nosebleed Section
choice ringside rantings
From: Hasbro, go straight to gaol, do not pass go
Tim says:
They should update other things in the game too. Instead of a get out of jail free card, they should have a Dodgy Lawyer card that not only gets you out of jail straight away but also gives you a fat payout in compensation for daring to arrest you in the first place. Instead of getting a hotel when you… [read more]From: A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go
Kel says:
If you want a festival for older people or for families alike, get amongst the respectable punters at Bluesfest. A truly amazing festival experience to be had of ALL AGES. And all the young "festivalgoers" usually write themselves off on the first night, only to never hear from them again the rest of… [read more]Gentle jabs to the ribs
Superman needs saving
Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more
