Luke McIlveen
Luke McIlveen is editor of the Manly Daily. He was previously chief-of-staff of The Daily Telegraph in Sydney, where he presided over Australia’s most chaotic newsdesk and disguised a total lack of organisation under the need to “stay flexible”.
He has worked in newspapers for 13 years and cannot understand what the internet has to offer apart from compromising Facebook pictures he might be able to lift for tomorrow’s front page. His chief interests are social justice, boxing, Jennifer Hawkins and salt and vinegar chips (thin sliced).
Articles by Luke McIlveen
So who’s the screwed up code now, eh?
Melbourne has a particular view of itself. You know what I mean – pretty, arty girls in cheese-cloth skirts running…... Read more
Ben Cousins should steer clear of pills, even legal ones
Even if you take the Richmond Football Club’s explanation at face value, the troubled Ben Cousins’ latest flirtation with disaster…... Read more
Dork on the wild side - Lou Reed vanishes up his bum
Lou Reed is a complete dribbler. I do not say this lightly. In fact, it hurts to say it. I’m…... Read more
Rugby league: The ultimate in do-or-die sporting spirit
Here we go. Another footy season, another pointless attempt to instruct trust-fund millionaires and insecure South Australians on the superior…... Read more
Green wins with courage
What the hell happened? Like the other 15,000 fight fans at Acer Arena last night, I’m still trying to work…... Read more
Abusing us park exercisers is a lazy national sport
SO there we were performing a static hold in the push-up position down at the local park when the Dog…... Read more
Wayne Carey: Your typical angry white male
Before Ben Cousins, there was Wayne Carey. The full forward from Wagga became the King of North Melbourne and the…... Read more
All hail the Wild Man of golf
SO Melbourne gets Tiger Woods. So what? Sydney got Long John Daly and, on behalf of this city of drunken…... Read more
October, it’s Hell on earth for sports lovers
APRIL is the cruelest month, old T.S Eliot used to say, but where does that leave October? No league, no…... Read more
It had its moments, but the NRL final was a snore
JARRYD Hayne brought two left boots to the Grand Final. Has there ever been a more tragic footy omen? The…... Read more
Eight things the Eels should do, to win by 8
Parra can win this. All the predictions of Melbourne’s class overwhelming the baby Eels will count for nought when the…... Read more
Shaggy-haired old-timer gives everything to game
THOUGHT I might wander out to ANZZZZZ Stadium tonight for the Parra v Dogs game. Who knows? Maybe 70,000 screaming…... Read more
Sparring in the carpark with world champ Danny Green
A funny thing happened on the way out of the glamorous Punch TV studios yesterday. As we stood in the…... Read more
The real awards for sporting achievement in 2009
SEPTEMBER comes with certain guarantees – birdsong in the early dawn, the smell of jasmine on the warm breeze and…... Read more
Ben Cousins needs a friend
BEN Cousins still drinks. I discovered this in Fred Pawle’s excellent piece on the AFL’s favourite recreational drug user in…... Read more
Man of God whose greatest deeds are done off the pitch
At 3pm on Sunday, Hazem El Masri will run onto the world’s worst footy ground to play his final home…... Read more
Speaking up for a sportsman of few words
WHY is it that we in the media think professional sports people are obliged to speak to us? We pay…... Read more
When you’re a kid, sometimes losing is winning
WHY, all of a sudden, do we have to protect our kids from the reality that there are winners and…... Read more
An NRL team that would run rings around the Cats
AFL players kick with both feet – that’s a fact, not a metaphor – so it’s difficult to believe that…... Read more
The Australian athlete who won gold for grace in defeat
I sat next to Matthew Mitcham on the plane to Beijing. He asked me a question that no man has…... Read more
Savage dead rubber that breathed life back into league
THERE are certain things you’re supposed to say when people ask what makes you proud of your home state. Nice…... Read more
The one cyclist I actually like
I don’t like cyclists as a general rule. I don’t like the way they clog up my local cafe on…... Read more
Blind Freddy can see league has a leadership problem
JAKE Friend will slip on the number 9 jersey and run out to play for the Roosters tonight. It will…... Read more
Carlton legend John Elliott’s after-dinner rape gags
AIN’T rape a hoot? It seems like the good old boys at Carlton Football Club just can’t stop laughing about…... Read more
The real reason we can’t cop Anthony Mundine
Is it cos he is black? Is it cos he is Muslim? Is it cos he is free? You suspect…... Read more
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ICB: If I could offer you only one tip for the future…
Welcome to this week’s I Call Bullshit, an irregular regular column on calumny and codswallop.…
Six prominent Aussies with a case of the dreaded “yips”
The yips. It’s an old golf term which refers to golfers who lose the ability to putt. They stand…
The humourless hysteria of the holier-than-thou
In I Spit On Your Grave, a young woman is gang raped in a remote woodland. She is beaten and tortured…
Nosebleed Section
choice ringside rantings
From: Punch on: Open thread 09/02/2012
marley says:
I'm one of the older ones, so I've certainly seen a few changes in my time. When I started school I learned to write with a nib pen, dipped in an inkwell (no, I'm not kidding). My mother became a dab hand at getting inkstains out of my clothes. Flicking ink at one another in the classroom was an essential… [read more]From: I’d rather have a piece of toast than listen to crap lyrics
Erick says:
Led Zeppelin are responsible for my all-time favourite mixed metaphor: "There you sit, sit and stare, like a book on a shelf rusting." (Misty Mountain Hop) I laugh every time I hear it. Hmmm, I believe I've decided what to play on the way to work today. [read more]Gentle jabs to the ribs
No wuckin forries. These nuckin futs are tuckin fops
Well, puck me with a fitchfork. The F-word is apparently an acceptable part of Australian speech. That’s… Read more
